I was in a random town, in a random alley, taking random drugs. I didn't know my way home, I wasn't sure where I was going.

I left the alley, my body feeling normal for the first time in what felt like forever. I could see things better, my skin no longer crawled, everything felt right inside of me.

As I walked, the shaking in my hands dulling enough for me to put them in my pockets.

I didn't really know what I took at the house, or what was in the kids' molly. But my body felt like it was floating, my feet touched every step, and I felt like I was running with how light my feet felt with every fall.

I walked close to a wall, my eyes desperately trying to keep themselves open.

I could see a crowd in front of me, a group of six or so people laughing while half of them held cigarettes to their lips or by their hips. I wanted to walk across the road before I ran into them, but I couldn't stop my feet, I wasn't sure how fast I was walking, but I was just thankful I didn't run into any of them as I walked past. But I didn't get away fast enough.

"Star?" My feet stopped in their happy tracks, my body froze into the sidewalk as my heart started to race.

No, no, not like this. Not right now.

I could feel my eyes start to prick with tears as I turned around to face the crowd of adults. Riot stood with them, a smoke between his fingers that was soon dropped to the ground and stepped on. "What are you? Are you... are you high?"

If I could put my hands deeper into my pockets, I could. But instead, I just put my head down, looking at my feet.

"Is this the mate you were talking about? Agatha's nephew?" My head shot up at that, Agatha's nephew? My eyes looked behind Riot at his friends, wolves, all of them. A tall girl wore a feathered boa on her neck with a birthday girl ribbon, beside her was a much taller black man with a thick chest and a septum piercing.

I didn't get a chance to look at anyone else, because RIot took me by the bicep and dragged me to the nearest alleyway, pushing me into a brick wall that felt like a pillow on my back honestly. "You told me you were sleeping." He didn't sound mad, no. there was no venom in his voice. I looked up at him, my hands between us now as I tried to come up with some words with the wet noodles that I called fingers.

'I was asleep. I — I had a bad nightmare. You wouldn't understand.'

"The only thing I don't understand is why you didn't call me." He was trying to keep his voice hushed, knowing full and well the people he was with could hear us. I didn't know how to respond to him, with my lips sucked in I turned my gaze away to the dirty alley. My shoulders shrugged before I turned to look back up at him, looking him in the eyes. "What did you take?"

'You had pills in your bathroom, and four other pills off some kids a few blocks over.'

"How long ago?" His hand touched my forehead, my brows knitted together for a moment before I signed an hour to him.

'The molly about ten minutes ago maybe'

"You don't look well." He was starting to scare me, my heart raced with the look of confusion on his face, "Look at me." He said, slapping my face for a moment, it was only then that I realized my gaze was shifting and my eyes were closing, Riot slapped me again, before holding me by the face and forcing my head up while my whole body felt like it was melting. I went from freezing cold to boiling hot in what felt like seconds. I opened my mouth and closed it quickly realized that something was coming out, and it wasn't words.

'Star, Alister, don't look at me damnit — Mare, call for help. Someone call for help!"

I was confused for another moment before I realized I was being carried, though had no memory of being lifted into the air.

What the fuck was going on?

A shiver wracked my body in a moment, and I found myself curling up, and with the pressure on my stomach, I realized how nauseated I felt. I wanted to throw up but held it in knowing I was being carried by someone, and I'd be damned if I let myself vomit on Riot again.

I must have passed out, because when I woke up I felt still and gross, that and I was no longer outside in an alley with Riot.

No, now I was inside, in a bedroom I had never seen before. I brought a hand up to rub my face, but paused when I felt something tug. I looked at my hand and my brows knitted together seeing an IV in the middle of my hand. I wasn't in a hospital, the room looked almost like a hotel room, besides the IV pole beside the bed and the bed was too soft to be one in a hospital bed.

I couldn't help but notice I was alone in the room, and my heart sank, the last thing I could remember was talking to RIot in the alley,

And he wasn't here.

I was weak, and who wanted a mate that was weak. Nobody wants to be with someone who can't control themselves.

I didn't blame him for not being here, if I was on his side of things I wouldn't be here either.

I started to bite my lips, my hands trembled as I sat up, putting them both in my lap. Being rejected from your mate wasn't a death sentence if it happened early on. I've heard stories of people leaving their mates after years together, and one or both will go a little crazy at first, and you always feel an empty space inside you. Because you lost a part of your soul.

If your mate dies, like Nani and Miquel, you still go on, because though it hurts you so much it wasn't something you could stop. But if you lose your mate in a way that my grandfathers did, Marshall being murdered and Rodrick getting no closure. You go a little mad, things just don't feel right on the inside.

It was difficult, and though I felt an ache in my chest, I didn't feel like I was going to die from this. Though I didn't know for sure that Riot had just rejected me, I couldn't help but draw that concussion, especially with him not being with me right now.

My chest was tight, I didn't want to be alone. But this was the price I paid when I picked drugs over the people in my life.

I was going to end up just like Ivan's uncle. Alone, in an alley dying with no love.

Riot would find someone else, they wouldn't fill his soul like I could, but he would find someone, and I was comforted by that. Because if I was going out, I wanted him to be happy.

My parents had the twins, though I would be gone, it wouldn't be empty.

Ivan had a mate now, they wouldn't need to have me to talk to, they would have someone else to share their love of the world to now.

I laid my head back, a single tear streaming down my face as I drew my life in my head, my ideas. The world would be better if I had gone, as dark as a thought that it was. I wasn't needed.

I wanted to pull the IV from my arm and leave this place. Anywhere was better than here, where ever here was.

Before I could act on the chaotic thoughts that passed, the door opened slowly and three people walked in, two of those people I didn't know. One of them was Riot, and it took everything in me not to sigh in relief upon seeing his face.

It didn't last long though as the two people that joined in closed the door, their faces looking a lot more serious, or at least the man did. The woman looked like she had just saw a ghost and was about to cry.

My eyes gazed to Riot, looking for any type of answer on his face, he just gave me a soft, albeit weak smile.

"Alister, how are you feeling?" The man asked, he was big, his arms looked like they could pass for tree trunks and he spent his days lifting, but his overall appearance didn't scream that, not with a purple polo and blue jeans, a stethoscope around his neck, thick black glasses and brown curly hair.

'I feel confused, honestly.' I signed, Riot repeated what I said in words, translating for the man.

"Understandable. My name is Gregory, I'm a pack doctor here, you're at the packhouse in Banff. Reggie brought you here last night. It appears that you overdosed on some recreational drugs combined with a none prescribed pharmaceutical. You got here just in time honestly, and you were very lucky that you had run into Reggie and his friends last night or there would be a high chance you wouldn't be here. You're on fluids right now. We'll give them another hour or two before taking you off them and you should be free to leave."

I nodded, turning my attention to Riot again before looking at the woman. 'Anything else?' I asked, feeling that the woman wasn't there as a helping hand for Dr. Gregory.

The doctor didn't say anything, but the woman shuffled a bit from foot to foot before looking at Riot for a moment. She turned to me again, her brown eyes looking at my face over a few times.

"My name is Agatha Knyazaeva, or well Agatha Rose now, but I was once Knyazaeva. You might not recognize me, or the name but— my sister was Paulina Knyazaeva-Adams, she was married to Daniel Adams. They were your parents."