ambulance please." His voice was barely a whisper, it barely managed to reach her ears.
He collapsed in the living room doorframe, ringing his hands to his face he started to tap his foot rhythmically against the wooden floor panel. His mind was blank, he couldn't help but think that this would be the last time.
He couldn't help thinking about 'him' either.
Chuuya threw his head back and let out an exasperated breath. He clenched his trembling fists as the woman came from around the corner.

"They said they'll be here shortly."

"I see... Thank you."

"Hey, are you alright? The ambulance will be here soon. You should try to calm yourself down—."

"Kenya, is the ambulance on the way?"

Chuuya turned abruptly towards the voice behind him. He managed to scramble to the door, ignoring Kenya's request to stay where he was. "Is he alright now?—"
Chuuya's breath caught in his throat.
His bottom lip quivered as he staggered to the door.
Dazai lay limp, hunched over the man's back.
His eyes were slightly open, as much as an unconscious persons could be.
He was frighteningly pale. His blood had drenched the bottom half of his coat.

"I did all I could do for now. I'm gonna take him downstairs and wait for the ambulance."

"Okay honey. We could all take the elevator though. It'd be easier on you too."

"Yeah, I guess so," he hoisted Dazai a bit higher on his back. "We should hurry. The ambulance'll be here any minute."

Everything that happened afterwards was a blur, the voices seemed to have been swept away on a gust of wind.
Chuuya didn't even remember how he ended up at the entrance of the apartment.
Moments later the ambulance rounded the corner. A woman of small stature emerged from the vehicle even before the car came to a complete stop. She was surprisingly strong, having picked Dazai from the man's shoulders and carried him to the back of the ambulance. Her partner swiftly opened the door before taking Dazai in his hands.

"So who found him?"
"Me," Chuuya stepped around from the curb, his stature docile as the woman's gaze bore through him.

"Does he take any medications?"

"No. H-He's healthy."

"Could you run over the details one more time for me please? I need this on file."

She tapped her pen hurriedly against the clipboard, waiting intently. "I'd come from the convenience store about thirty minutes prior and found some painkillers—."

"What kind were they?"

"—Excedrin?... I think?"

"...It was over the counter medication? Are you sure that's what it was?"

"...Yes. I believe so."

"Are you aware of the last time he went to see his physician?"

"As I already told you, he's relatively healthy so he rarely goes. The most is twice a year. If that." He brought his hand to his temple, massaging it as the lady continued to badger him with questions.

"Ayako, hurry it up!"

The woman clicked her tongue to her cheek after she turned back to face her partner.

"Would any of you like to come? Only one of you can ride in the ambulance."

He easily read her impatience, Chuuya shrunk back almost instinctively.

"Come on, we need to hurry! He needs a blood transfusion!", shouted the male paramedic.
The woman looked back to return a concerned glance before jumping into the drivers seat.

"We need to get going to Yomiuri. It's the nearest emergency clinic."

Chuuya fidgeted with his tremor ridden fingers as the ambulance sped away.
He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. Instead tears seemed to take their place. He crouched down, his stained palms wiped at his reddened face.
Kenya frowned, she pulled Chuuya up from the ground and rested her hand firmly on his shoulder.
"Come on. You should be there when he wakes up."

— 🌙 —

The ride was agonizingly slow.

Everything seemed to lose momentum.
It seemed as though it would never end.

He rested his head on the seat, his harsh, unsteady breathes clouded the window.
Chuuya closed his eyes, horrible thoughts ran through his mind as the car sped down the intersection. Kenya would look over her shoulder sometimes to check on him as the ride progressed.
Be anxiously tapped his foot against the leather floor mat as they made their way into a busy intersection.
After the traffic died down they arrived about fifteen minutes at the emergency clinic.

Chuuya was helped out of the car, his knees wobbled as he planted his feet on the ground.

He really might not make it this time, he thought. He really might not make it.

"Hello, was there someone brought in that needed a blood transfusion? Around fifteen minutes ago?"

"Um, I'm not sure but I can check the data base for you. They probably weren't registered them depending on the level of trauma."

The three of them settled into the lobby. Chuuya's eyes darted beyond the large metal doors behind the reception desk to the entrance a few times.

Could he be getting checked in now?

He pondered on whether or not to go to the receptionists desk. His anxiety kept him glued to the chair.
A moment later a woman dressed in turquoise scrubs emerged from the large set of doors to the right. She stopped in front of the desk, she received a clipboard as she watched the receptionist motioned towards Chuuya.

"Hello, I was informed that you're with the patient that was recently admitted. You're able to come and see him. He's out of it at the moment because we gave him some medication, but he should be up in about an hour or two."

Kenya walked beside him.
He was anxious. There was no surprise, he felt ready to burst into a sprint.
"Don't worry. He's alright. They've already put him in a room since he's stable."
She patted his shoulder as his eyes blankly followed his breathing tube.
He sighed raggedly as he brought himself down to the rail.
He dropped down, resting his head on his arm.

"Here, set in the chair."
Her voice was calming and a bit frail, like a mother towards a son.
Kenya helped him up into the chair after setting it closer to the edge of the bed.

"We'll leave you alone for a bit, but if you need anything—."

"I'm sorry. I've troubled you quite enough. You've done way more than you should have and I'm really grateful believe that. I don't know how to repay you but I'll think of something."

"Well how about we all go out for lunch or something? Hey, my husband knows this really nice restaurant on the edge of the city. It's pretty nice so make sure you two dress nicely."

Chuuya smiled sincerely.

"...That would be nice."

And with that she left, though for some reason he felt devoid. The atmosphere of the room grew cold. As if there was a stranger in front of him. He closed his eyes after taking a deep breath. Chuuya lugged the chair closer to the bed so that he could rest his chin on the rail.
He couldn't help but realize how peaceful he looked. It was frightening how peaceful he appeared. He almost looked dead.

Chuuya grasped the knees of his pants.
He took in Dazai's sullen form.
His under eyes were darkened and a few drops of sweat hung from his bangs.

"I hate you for what you do. I really do... But I love you and can't get you out of my heart all the same. I thought you were getting better... I didn't think it'd come down to this. If it's about that promise then to hell with that.
I don't care about it. I don't care— what y— what you have to do I just—."

He hung his head and spoke between sobs as he tried to hold onto his hand.

"I—I don't care what you have to do.. just stay with me", he whispered. "Ahh," he drew a bitter smile as he blinked back tears.
Dazai turned his head, etching out a drawl as his chin rested on his collarbone.

"You know I'm tired."

"I know. I know but I just want you by my side. You wanted me to be selfish, remember. Well this is my selfishness talking."

"Don't tell me it gets better. I've waited a hell of a long time for it to get better."
His voice was low and monotonous.

Dazai.., Miracles don't happen overnight.

He stared into the ceiling, his thoughts seemed elsewhere as he counted the dots in the ceiling.
"So that's it then?" Chuuya scoffed.
"You damn liar. I didn't wanna say anything cause you could probably die on me, but I'm getting annoyed... And I feel like if I don't say this now I'll never be—."

The door clattered against the wall so hard there could've been a hole in it. A man in his early flurries with a bit of grey hair strode swiftly into the room.
By his gait it was easy to tell that he'd been in the military.
"Dazai what the hell is wrong with you, huh? This was a bit tolerable when you were in high school but you're a grown ass man now. Cut the act..."
He paused scoffing to himself as he placed his hand over his temple.

"Is this about your allowance?— And who are you if I may ask? A leech?"

"Excuse me?! A leech?! Listen you tightwad piece of shit—."

"Chuuya!" He rose his head as far as he could, a stale but forceful look lingered in his eyes.
"That's my uncle. Watch your tongue."

Chuuya turned his head sharply towards the man who looked back at him with a pointed glare. "I asked who you are? By the looks of it you don't have any social status... Why are you hanging around my nephew? ...Ha, I already know so there's no need to answer that."

"Oh, please enlighten me. I'd love to know." He pronounced mockingly.

"Money of course."

"Dazai?! Are you seriously going to let him continue to question me like this?!"

Dazai's uncle shot a sharp look, his left eye twitched in anger.

"Haven't you any decent courtesy? This is a hospital for god's sake."

Dazai rose up, he winced in pain as he lowered his head at his uncle.
"— He's a close friend of mine. Please forgive him." He spoke through gritted teeth.

Dazai slowly laid back down as to where his face couldn't be seen. He seemed to be too ashamed to look in Chuuya's direction.

"Ha, we're friends huh?"

                          Authors quote:

"Our shadows are demons.
Fore they linger behind us,
never letting us forget our melancholy.

— I ought to try and drown my shadow."