Text message transcript

Alex: What are you going to do?"

Kara: I'm taking Luna to the park.

Alex: That's not what I meant and you know it.

Kara: I really don't Alex

Alex: What are you going to do about Lena?

Kara: What is there to do?

Alex: Do you want her back?

Kara: Is that a question?

Kara: of course I do. But there's also a reason we drifted apart.

Alex: Isn't that what you were supposed to do the other night? Talk. Not do what you did, which by the way you absolutely did not have to TORTURE me by telling me about it.

Kara: Trust me, I didn't enjoy it either (telling you not doing it, because I definitely enjoyed that).

Alex: KARA ZOR EL DANVERS!!!!!!!

Kara: Sorry

Alex: So? Are you going to talk to her?

Kara: Yeah I will.

Alex: hey, I have to go but uh, good luck with that conversation. And DON'T do whatever you did the other day without talking. STAY ON POINT

Kara: I can't control it you know 😅

Alex: KARA? I'm leaving now😡

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was distracted
And in traffic
I didn't feel it
When the earthquake happened
But it really got me thinkin'
Were you out drinkin'?
Were you in the living room
Chillin' watchin' television?
It's been a year now

"Are you ready baby girl?" Kara asked as she stood by the door.

"Yep," Luna answered running down the stairs.

"C'mon then, it's going to be dark soon and you don't want to miss the evening sunset," Kara said holding Luna's hand while walking out the door.

"Is mommy going to be okay?" after a few minutes of walking in silence, Luna asked.

"She will be okay my sweet girl" Kara answered kneeling to look into her daughter's eyes. "She's just feeling tired, nothing serious okay?"

"Okay" Luna replied a bit sad but reassured nonetheless.

"Hey, wanna get some ice cream?" Kara asked knowing that would cheer her daughter up.

2 hours later.

"Mommy?" Luna called out as soon as they got home.

"In the living room baby girl" came Lena's reply.

Kara put Luna's water bottle in the kitchen sink before following her to find Lena. Knowing Luna, Kara knew she was going to tell Lena what adventure she went on for 2 hours.

And right on cue, Luna sat on her mom's lap and kissed her cheek before starting her storytelling.

Kara just stood in the doorway watching them. Watching how Luna's eyes lit up every time she remembered all the things she did. How Lena's smile was wonderfully warm and full of love.

I know, you know, we know

You weren't down for forever and it's fine

I know, you know, we know

We weren't meant for each other and it's fine

"That sounds like a beautiful adventure baby," Lena said as she hugged Luna.

"It was," Lena said as she smiled. Only her smile didn't reach her eyes.

"What is it, sweetheart?" Lena asked knowing her daughter too well.

"I wish you'd been there" Luna simply said.

"I'm sorry I couldn't come, baby," Lena said holding Luna's face in her hands, then continued, "how about next time we all go together," she said more of a statement and not a question.

"Okay" Luna answered immediately and all the sad feelings were already forgotten.

"Okay, c'mon what do you want for dinner?" the Luthor asked.

"Pizza" Luna immediately replied

"Okay go get the iPad from the study," Lena said as she ushered the girl off her lap, " it's on the white couch."

The room was suddenly quiet following Luna's departure.

"What are you thinking about?" Lena finally asked, looking at the Kryptonian still standing in the doorway clearly deep in thought.

"Mmh?" came the reply from the Kryptonian

"I asked what you are thinking about," Lena said

"Oh, uuhh.... Everything?" Kara said, the statement sounding more like a question than a statement.

"Everything?" Lena asked for clarification

"Yeah. Me and you. Luna. Us. Our family. Supergirl. Everything" Kara replied.

"Do you want there to be an us?" Lena asked

But if the world was ending

You'd come over, right?

You'd come over and you'd stay the night

Would you love me for the hell of it?

All our fears would be irrelevant

If the world was ending

You'd come over, right?

The sky'd be falling and I'd hold you tight

And there wouldn't be a reason why

We would even have to say goodbye

If the world was ending

You'd come over, right?

Right?

If the world was ending

You'd come over, right?

Right?

Kara scoffed before she could answer Lena's question. The Kryptonian then moved to sit down beside the Luthor.

"I will always want there to be an Us Lena," Kara said as she covered Lena's hands with her own.

The Kryptonian then continued, "but it's more complicated than that and you know that. I love you and I will always love you. I will always be in love with you Lena. I know we've never been perfect but I have always loved you more than anything. That's why when I picture my future, I see you and Luna, our family. I will always choose you Lena but I don't know what you want or what you need. When you said that sometimes when you see me, you see the Kara Danvers that you met first, that you sometimes forget that I'm Supergirl, it reminded me of what happened after Luna was born. It reminded me of a time when you pushed me away. You shut me out completely. You didn't even tell me why and I started thinking about all the things that I did wrong. It didn't make sense and it still doesn't because the other day you said you want me back but I don't know what changed. What's different now Lena? what could I have done differently then? What made you shut me out? Did you not love me?" Kara asked all the questions that had been tormenting her.

"I'm sorry." Lena said then continued, "I'm sorry I pushed you away. I'm sorry I -" before she could continue, Luna came walking into the room with the iPad in her hands.

"I found it"

I tried to imagine

Your reaction

It didn't scare me when the earthquake happened

But it really got me thinkin'

That night we went drinkin'

Stumbled in the house

And didn't make it past the kitchen

Ah, it's been a year now

Think I've figured out how

How to think about you without it rippin' my heart out

Nothing was said after that. Much left unsaid.

Luna sat on Kara's lap as Lena ordered Pizza. The house was oddly quiet despite Luna's voice words echoing throughout the living room.

"I can see through things now mommy" Luna suddenly said as she held Kara's neck with her right hand as she lay her head on Kara's chest.

"What?!" Kara shockingly asked as she held her daughter's shoulders so that she could look her in her eyes.

"I couldn't find my drawing book yesterday, so I started looking for it in my bedroom, but I couldn't find it. I started getting angry, so I went to lie down in bed facing down and when I opened my eyes, I saw my drawing book under the bed" Luna explained how she found out she could see through things

"And then this morning, when I was in bed, I heard mommy downstairs on a phone call and then I saw her come to my room to wake me up" she finished explaining.

I know, you know, we know

You weren't down for forever and it's fine

I know, you know, we know

We weren't meant for each other and it's fine

Kara was quiet for a while before she snapped out of it. She turned to see Lena looking at Luna the same way she was just looking at their daughter.

"Does it hurt?" Kara finally asked

"No. I just don't know when I am using my powers. It's confusing. When your powers started, was it confusing for you?" Luna asked

"Yeah, it was" Kara answered as she held Luna's cheek with her left hand.

"Thank you for telling us baby," Lena said as she held Luna's hand.

"Can you help me control it tomorrow like you used to teach me in Argo?" the little girl asked her parents.

"Always" Kara and Lena both replied at the same time.

"We can - " Before Luna could continue speaking, there was a knock at the door

"That must be the pizza guy," Lena said as she walked to the door.

An hour and a half later, Kara was tucking Luna to bed after reading her her bedtime story, Lena was standing by the door ready to turn off the lights.

"You know we love you so much don't you," Kara said more like a statement than a question.

"I know, you tell me every day" Luna replied

"Good. Have a goodnight sleepy" Kara said as she walked out of their daughter's room as Lena turned off the lights.

But if the world was ending

You'd come over, right?

You'd come over and you'd stay the night

Would you love me for the hell of it?

All our fears would be irrelevant

If the world was ending

You'd come over, right?

The sky'd be falling and I'd hold you tight

And there wouldn't be a reason why

We would even have to say goodbye

If the world was ending

You'd come over, right?

Right?

If the world was ending

You'd come over, right?

Right?

"I should have told you what was going on instead of pushing you away the way I did," Lena said into the quiet room.

They were sitting on opposite couches, Lena with a glass of scotch and Kara with a glass of red wine.

"I could tell you that it wasn't about you but I'd be lying. It was about you. About us. I uh... I didn't know how to be around you without all the self awareness I was feeling. I was so conscious about my body and my self esteem was getting shittier day after day. Like my head would just start spinning things around and making something soo small seem too big.   Everything that made me feel safe inside my skin felt like it was going to crush me. I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about it."

Kara didn't say anything seeming deep in thought. After a few minutes the Kryptonian asked, " why couldn't you talk to me?"

Lena didn't immediately respond.

"Because even you didn't feel safe" she said with so much hesitation.

Kara's expression was -

She didn't know what to feel or what to say.

"I'm sorry" Lena said

"Don't be sorry" Kara said as she stood up to walk towards the glass window and then continued, "It's what you feel and you don't have to apologise for it"

Despite what Kara was feeling, the heart wrenching pain you feel when someone who holds your heart at the palm of their hands tells you that you do not feel safe. She continued to put on a brave face.

"That's not why I'm apologising" Lena said

"Then why are you?" Kara asked

"I'm apologising because I know I made you feel like you weren't wanted. I know how that can bring up shit you thought you'd buried a long time ago. I'm apologising because even though I may not have been aware about it, I was protecting myself and in doing so, I hurt you. That wasn't fair on you and I am very sorry." The Luthor said as she stood to walk towards Kara

Kara didn't say a word even when she heard the Luthor standing beside her.

Looking out into the city, Kara asked, "what do you mean when you say that you didn't feel safe with me?"

"I wasn't afraid you'd hurt or break me physically or emotionally Kara. I was scared everything would change if I talked to you. That if I showed you what i was feeling, you'd leave. Because that's what always happens. When people get close and then you share your feelings, especially when you feel so vulnerable, they leave because your feelings become an inconvenience for them."

"If in any way I made you feel like you couldn't open up to me, I am sorry." Kara said as she looked Lena into her eyes.

"You didn't, but thank you" Lena said

"What about now?" Kara asked

Lena looked at her with a questioning look. Kara caught on and elaborated on her question.

"Do you feel safe now? I mean we've been spending time together and you haven't mentioned anything"

Before she said anything, the Luthor moved closer to Kara's personal space. She took the Kryptonian's hands in her own and said, "I haven't mentioned anything because I've been happy spending time with you. I've been happy and despite everything that we've been through together and apart, I know you and me are forever Kara." Lena revealed as she looked at Kara who seemed to want to say something but couldn't.

"I don't know what to say" the Kryptonian spoke after a while.

"Say you believe me when I say I didn't mean to pull us apart" Lena said

"I do believe you Lena" Kara said as she stroke Lena's cheek and then went on, "that's the thing, I'll always believe you but I need you to know and trust that I'm not letting you go. So when you feel like you're drowning, know that I'll always be your lifeline if and when you need it. You don't need anyone to save you Lena but if you feel like you can't carry it alone, like it might crush you, you have a really strong Kryptonian to lean on." Kara said as she hugged the Luthor.

"Thank you darling" Lena said as her right hand held onto the back of Kara's neck.

"Come here" Lena asked the Kryptonian as she pulled her closer, "kiss me."

Kara didn't have to be told twice.

If the world was ending
You'd come over, right?

Hey guys,

I'm finally back. Incredibly sorry about the very long delay.