CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
[ don't let me down! ]

Asteria whirled around, expecting to find Ben there. She had heard his voice, thought she felt the bond snap into place, but he wasn't there. She deflated a little, saddened that she wouldn't get to see him. Rey called her name, and she was forced to tear her eyes away from the spot she thought he was going to be.

Once on the ship, she stood behind Rey and Poe in the pilot and co-pilots seats as they took off toward the menacing Star Destroyer in the sky. Zorii had given them. . . something, she hadn't paid attention to what, but it got them onto the ship.

They split up once inside, Asteria telling them to find Chewie and that she'd go find his things— including the dagger. Even though they had the coordinates to where the wayfinder was— one of the moons of Endor, Kef Bir— she felt that they still needed it for something.

She searched the ship, looking for the dark pull of the dagger. She found it in a room of all white, laid out on a table with Chewie's bow and bandolier. But it was what sat on a white podium on the other side of the room that caught her attention.

A black mass of charred metal, crumpled and nearly unrecognizable. But she did recognize it. It was the mask of Darth Vader.

"Anakin. . ." she muttered, getting closer and letting her fingers graze the cold metal. "Help him find the light, old friend, as you did. I know that he can."

A blinding pain burned in her head suddenly, and she knew that Ben was forcing the connection. When he appeared, the pain went away, only a whisper in her mind.

"Ben," she said, her voice hoarse. "Please don't try that again."

"Sorry." He had his mask covering his face, the red cracks evident in the white room. His eyes flicked down to her hand, still on Vader's helmet. "So that's where you are."

"No," she gasped, tearing her hand away. "Ben, please, five m—"

"Palpatine wants you dead," he interrupted. "The girl, too."

"And he tasked you with doing it." Her heart ached. Would this never end? This horrible cycle of needing to kill or defeat each other?

"You know that I'd never do it."

"I know." She nodded her head.

"But I can't let you go to Exegol."

"I know," she repeated. "But I will get there. And I will finish him."

"You'll die." She heard the worry in his voice, even if he didn't want her to.

"I won't." Though, of course, she didn't know. Palpatine might kill her yet. "This is my destiny. I have fought, and lost, and loved, all to come to this. All to come back to Palpatine."

"I love you." His voice was strained, even through the mask. "I won't let you die for this."

"I know." She tried to smile, but it didn't reach her eyes. "And I love you, Ben Solo. And I believe in you, and in the light inside of you."

"You've got a five minute head start," he said after a moment, "I'll send them to the wrong place first."

"Thank you," she said, and she meant it. He was gone before she could blink.

With her five minutes ticking away, she threw Chewie's bandolier over her shoulder, grabbed his bow, and slid the dagger into her belt. She then left the room running, hurrying back to where they'd left the ship. Not because she wanted to leave on it, but because the Falcon was there. They'd taken it when they took Chewie, apparently, and why take Ochi's ship when they could take the Falcon?

She greeted an oblivious 3P0 and ran up the ramp before she was seen, moving quickly to the front. She set the bow down on the Dejarik board and hung the bandolier on the co-pilot's chair. Out of the window she could see Rey, Finn and Poe running toward the ship with Chewie in tow.

She started the ship and waited for them to board before pulling up the ramp and taking off into hyperspace.

Their next destination, Kef Bir, was one of the moons of Endor. This moon also housed the wreckage of the last Death Star. Asteria supposed it was poetic, ending one story where it first began. Beginning the end of the First Order near where the end of the Empire came.

The Falcon was extremely banged up and they were lucky they could make a decent landing on Kef Bir. They hoped that there would be someplace with some spare parts so that they could fix it.

Asteria and Rey lead the group from the Falcon toward the wreckage of the Death Star. There was a large mass of rough water between them and the wreck. Somehow, Asteria knew the wayfinder was there. It was just a matter of where there it was.

The dagger.

She pulled the dagger from her belt and inspected it. She found that there was a part that pulled out, with jagged edges and a red point. When she held it up, it matched the form of the wreck, and the red part pointed to a spot on it.

"It's there," she said, pointing to the spot. "But how do we—"

The sound of something galloping toward them stopped her. A lot of somethings, actually. They all turned, blasters drawn, until a group of people riding animals Asteria had never seen before came into view.

"Who are you?" The woman at the front asked. "What are you doing here?"

"We're looking for something," Asteria explained, then, taking a chance, she said: "we're with the Resistance."

The woman considered her for a moment. "What do you need?"

She breathed a sigh of relief. "Our ship needs to be repaired. If you have any spare parts, we would be grateful. And, we need a way to get over there in the meantime." She pointed over to the wreckage.

"We've got some parts you can use. And I can take you over there, but we'll have to wait until morning, when the waters are calm."

But they couldn't wait until morning. If they waited even a few minutes more, Ben would find them. "We can't wait."

"We don't have much of a choice," Finn said.

"We can't go out there when it's like that," Poe agreed.

But she couldn't wait. She couldn't. So instead she agreed, and told them to fix the ship, all while she snuck away to take one of the raft-like things she'd spotted before. A skimmer, barely qualified to make it across calm waters, let alone this. It would have to do.

The skimmer went under the waves a few times, but she was accustomed to the water. Everyone on Areathya had been submerged without air for significant periods of time— the planet was covered in it. Though it was frightening. Drowning was one of the ways an Areathian could die, for it wasn't under their body's control.

She was lucky that she was a good sailor, and could navigate rough water with somewhat ease. She was thankful when she finally reached the wreckage.

She hadn't done so much climbing in years. Mostly upward, and on a structure that was very much not sturdy. Finally, she hauled herself up onto a flat surface, and stood up.

Upon inspection, she realized that she was in the throne room. The throne was there, right in front of her. Palpatine had sat there, and Luke had stood there, by the window, looking out at the Rebels. And Anakin had stood where she stood now, the light inside of him slowly winning out over the dark.

And she could picture herself there, pleading with Anakin to come back to the light, to save the Rebels.

There was a dark presence just off of the throne room, not unlike the one that came from the dagger. She entered the next room, and saw it. A small pyramid shaped glowing object. The wayfinder. She smiled a little and grabbed it tentatively, fearing something might happen.

Nothing did. So she took it, and went back into the throne room, still smiling. That smile died when she saw Ben standing there, waiting for her.

"Ben," she breathed. "How—"

"Five minutes." He shrugged his shoulders. "Not a second more."

"We're so close, Ben," she said, her voice desperate. "Just let me go. I don't want to fight you."

"I can't let you go to Exegol."

He reached his hand out and in a split second tore the wayfinder from her hands with the Force. Before it got to him, though, she grabbed hold of it, too. She pulled hard, and so did he, but it stayed in between them, but moving to either side.

Until it broke in half, and the two pieces flew at either one of them. She caught hers, and stared down at it, the anger building inside of her as her hopes shattered.

The anger took over, and she drew her lightsaber. She slashed at him angrily and he ducked out of the way, dodging her sloppy attacks as they came. He only drew his own lightsaber when hers almost grazed his arm. Even then he retreated, jumping down the hole she'd crawled up out of.

She didn't notice, but he was letting her take her anger out on him.

She followed him down and outside of the wreckage. He was waiting there, the waves splashing and soaking him. She went at him hard and swift, her anger fuelling her.

Her anger made her weaker, sloppier, it always had. That day was no different. She fought long and hard, even landing a few blows. But Ben's own anger was building, and when he became angry he lost control.

She slipped. The metal was slippery from the waves and she hadn't been centred, and she lost her footing. She was on her back, the wind knocked out of her, and Ben stood above her with his lightsaber raised over his head, as if to deliver the killing blow.

She saw in his eyes that he realized what he was doing and regretted it. But before he could lower his saber and help her up, before he could apologize and ask her forgiveness, another lightsaber ignited and was pushed through his stomach.

"No!" Asteria screamed. Ben fell to the ground clutching his wound as the lightsaber was switched off. And there was Rey, eyes full of worry for her master.

"Master, are you all right?"

She ignored her padawan and hurried to Ben's side, trying not to cry. "Ben," she murmured, placing her hand over his on his stomach. "Oh, Ben."

Nothing else in the world mattered but this. He had to be all right, there was no other option. But how?

And then she remembered the snake.

"Rey," she said, her voice hoarse. "Rey, how did you heal the snake? Teach me."

Rey's brows furrowed in confusion. "Master, he was going to kill you."

"No, he wasn't." Her eyes left Ben's wound for only a moment, just to meet Rey's. "Please, tell me."

Though she didn't understand, Rey did as she asked. "It's just transferring energy. Centre yourself, be at one with the Force, and give a bit of your energy to him."

Asteria nodded and closed her eyes. She let out a long breath, and felt the Force flow through her. She gave that Force to Ben, and knew that it was working— she felt it working. When she opened her eyes and moved his hand away, he was healed.

She sighed in relief, and let her head fall to lean her forehead against his. Rey looked on, never having been more confused in her life.

Asteria was drained. Her head was a bit foggy, and she felt weak. She'd have to get used to that.

"Master," Rey said, and she knew her padawan would need an explanation.

She met Ben's eyes. His were soft, vulnerable, and she knew they mirrored hers. His hair stuck to his face as hers did to her, both of them uncomfortably wet. "Go," he told her.

"Ben—"

"Go," he repeated, his voice soft as his lovely brown eyes. "I'm okay."

She sighed, a pain-filled smile reaching her mouth. "Be safe, love." He nodded, and she pressed a long kiss to his forehead.

Somewhere not that far away, the Falcon landed and Finn was shouting for them to come. Asteria stood, though reluctantly, and went with Rey back to the ship.

It was when she was on board that she felt the pang in her chest. Her already weak legs buckled underneath her, and she was on the ground. Endless tears began to flow, and even as the group huddled around her, she couldn't say what was wrong. Couldn't get the words out to tell them that her best friend was gone.

Only one word left her lips, and nobody really understood.

"Leia."

A/N: okay this is really long, but I'm not at all sorry about it. I certainly hope you liked it, I know that I do. Leave a comment, tell me what you thought!