Tyler didn't sleep. He looked over at his clock.
4am...He breathed heavily to himself, ripping his body away from the covers, standing from his bed. All of a sudden it was like something clicked in his mind, and he couldn't tell if something had moved into place or out of place. All he knew was that he was headed towards the bathroom again. The floor creaked under his feet as he slowly and carefully tip toed down the hall, mindful of his sleeping family. The door to the bathroom groaned as he pushed it opened and closed, locking it shut when he settled inside.
Don't fight it, kid...Blurry's tone was more sinister than usual, and it had a different undertone. Something more on the evil side and not just the creepy side like always. I
t's now or never. Tyler opened his cabinet and reached for the box of raisers. When he pulled a single one out of its casing, it glistened in the light. Stainless. He ran it across his finger softly, testing the sharpness. His finger didn't bleed, but a layer of skin was broken. Tyler bent his index finger and winced when the pain kicked in, blood trickling from the cut that was deeper than it seemed to be.
"Ouch..." He whispered under his breath, holding the opposite end of the razor. He looked at himself in the mirror and inhaled, disappointed in what he saw. "Look at you...You're ridiculous," he mumbled at his reflection. He glanced back down at the razor, which was still stainless. Then, he looked at his bleeding finger, and back up at his pathetic reflection.
Tyler finally let his eyes fall on his wrist. It wasn't something he'd ever done before, and he didn't know why it was something he'd do now.
"Stupid..." he pressed the blade lightly against his pale skin. Just enough for him to know it was there.
"Ugly..." He pressed it down a little harder, so it stung a little- like the word "ugly".
"Pathetic..." He pressed it down more, wincing at the burning. He didn't care, though.
"Worthless...." He slowly let the blade glide along his wrist. He held back tears and bit his lip, looking up so it didn't hurt as much.
"Nothing." He cut deeper, repeating the same path. He didn't look at the damage, he knew it was bad but could've been worse. He held the razor up to his face so he could see it clearly. It was red at the tips. No longer stainless, no longer beautiful. He saw his reflection in it, and it was red.
"Nothing at all..." He returned the razor to its box and stowed it away, back into the back of the medicine cabinet. Then, the adrenaline wore off. He threw himself against the bathroom door and slid down to the floor, hugging his knees to his chest and burrowing his face between his knees. He cried out as quietly as he could manage, because now more than ever, he didn't want to wake anybody up.
_____________________________________________________________________

Tyler fell asleep on the bathroom floor last night. He woke up to the sound of furious banging on the door.
"OPEN UP YOU LITTLE TWIG! I NEED TO MAKE UP FOR THE 30 MINUTES YOU ALREADY WASTED IN THERE. WE'RE ABOUT TO BE LATE!" The tone of his voice made Tyler realize it was Zack. He quickly tugged his sleeve down- just the one- and winced as he remembered exactly what happened last night. Then, he scurried to unlock the door, standing as though nothing happened.
"What were you doing? Taking a shit?!" Zack angrily pushed Tyler out of the way and grabbed his tooth brush.
"S-sorry...I-I d-didn't...-" He inhales, giving up. Why bother trying so hard to speak when he had absolutely nothing to say?

School. School was awkward. It wasn't like he meant for it to be any more awkward than it usually was for him. But his time he actually had something to lose, and something to hide- something horrible.
Josh didn't show up on time like any other day. In fact, Tyler was almost afraid that he wouldn't show up and he'd be trapped in silence again, afraid off chasing anyone who tried to talk to him away with his pathetic stutter. But sure enough, his knight in shining armor and ripped skinny jeans came strolling through the classroom entrance, his bookbag smugly slung over one shoulder. The look on his face battled away the fear thumping in the pit of Tyler's stomach, melting away his doubts.
"Hey, dude. Sorry I wasn't here before you. My brother had a uh...." Tyler watches as Josh fidgets in place, swinging his bag onto his desk and rubbing the back of his neck. "He had a little incident last night." Josh laughs, the kind of laughter that someone does when they don't want you to know the truth or even try to ask about it.
But all Tyler could think of was the fact that he didn't know that Josh had siblings like him. Why didn't he know that?
"I-It's all good, Josh..." Tyler sheepishly looks down, face bright red.
"Alright, cool. So did I miss anything? You didn't happen to meet any potential girlfriends without me, did you?" Josh playfully elbows Tyler in his ribs. It was a simple game Tyler played, letting Josh believe he was straight. He didn't really think of it as lying, but as leaving some vital information out. If he told him his sexuality, then Josh would probably avoid him, fearing that Tyler would catch feelings for him- which was way too late. Then, there was the whole mental issues and medication talk Tyler refused to allow to happen. If just one person could believe that Tyler was a "normal" guy then, dammit he didn't want to ruin it with the truth. And if lying to his close (and only) friend was the only way to make that a possibility then, dammit lying was what he'd have to do, no matter how much it hurt him on the inside.
Tyler lets out a breathy laugh and shakes his head. "No...Not...Not yet, no..." His words slip out slowly as he tries to process them carefully at the same time. Josh glances over at Jenna for a second and then back at Tyler. "What about..." He eyeballs Jenna again, signalling Tyler to look in her direction.
"Wh-wha...Jenna? No!" Tyler blurts out, almost revealing too much of his repulsion towards Josh's assumption. Josh snorts at Tyler's protest, his dimples creasing into his cheeks. Tyler stares for a second, still flustered yet starstruck.
"Come on! I see the way you act around her when I'm not around, dude you can't even deny it!" Josh claps a hand on Tyler's back, a little to aggressively in his opinion. He winces as Josh's hand removes from his shoulder blade. "Sorry dude. I can get a little rough sometimes." Josh slings his arm over Tyler's shoulder. It leads him into a false sense of security and for a split second- just a second- Tyler feels as if nothing was ever going to be wrong ever again. The smell of blueberry muffins from the cafeteria serving breakfast soaked Josh, and Tyler inhaled it all. But then the worst thing happened.
"Let's go talk to her." Josh eagerly tugged at Tyler's hand. When Tyler gritted his teeth and winced again, Josh froze in motion. "What's wrong?" He loosens his grip and frowns, concerned. "Are you okay?" He looks deeply into Tyler's eyes. All Tyler wanted to do was nod. Another white lie wouldn't kill him, he thought. Only, he shook his head instead. Then, he said the wrong things at the wrong time in the wrong way.
"No, not today, Josh."