"I will take two blue shirts! The art of the panda is different than the others. So nice!"

"Alright. Here ya go and here's your change. Please come back soon."

"I will take the apron and oh! There's toys! I'm taking a Doskoi Panda stuffed toy too for my nieces and nephews. Wahhh! So soft!"

"They really are high quality around here! So fluffy! No wonder they're so expensive."

"Okay, got it. Here's your change and please come back soon." You say for probably the hundredth time, Doskoi Panda work apron on you as you work behind the counter of the Doskoi Panda brand store. 

"Hai, Hai, we will!"

You put a hand up in a lazy wave as the customers left only to get more immediately. Talking about this or that products, shoes, toys, shirts, pants, cooking supplies—it didn't matter cause Doskoi Panda sold it all in their home base of Mirrorball Island. The island infamous for its wild parties and extravagant night life, the perfect combination to make pirates and marines to come and enjoy the festive island.

Although on the outside, you're politely helping out with customers and guiding them to the best of your ability(you're not an expert in fashion by any means. You point out the comfier looking clothes to customers out of anything else), inside you're shouting and cursing and kicking imaginary objects.

This wasn't supposed to happen! You internally bemoaned, a frustrated growl within your mind. I should be in the Grand Line by now at least!

But it was your fault.

It didn't take long soon after you set sail from where the Red-Haired pirates were situated as well as the World's Greatest Swordsman to realize you have no idea where you're going. More specifically, you were in such an adrenaline high as you were using your feet to kick the water to make your boat go faster until you reached an island for supplies you forgot to get with everyone there, that it hit you.

You don't have the island's name.

You weren't paying much attention to the islands around where the Sea King threw you.

The Worlds Greatest Swordsman saw it while it was happening.

Lost as you were in your own mistakes as you walked through the town of Mirroball, annoyance and humiliation a mix within you as you once again moved ahead without pausing to think and plan, fresh the incident of you leaving Enies Lobby with barely any money, you reached a head and couldn't help kicking a stray rock in the street. Full force. Towards an unsuspecting store that got an equal unsuspecting makeover, except the makeover was more like "destroy over" with how the rock bounced from chipping and making a hole in the wall, traveling inside the store and making dents throughout the walls inside, going through the window up in the storefront, to moving to one beam that held the store together only for it to crack and break to the floor, back to another piece of a wall making another a full hole go through it and the rock racing within the store to finally escape through a window.

You stared along with the townspeople at the damage, the dancing and singing coming to a standstill as a stray piece of debris fell to the floor.

They all stared at you.

And as the owner came out yelling, eyes out of their head but surprisingly unscathed, pointing at you and shouting, you could only stare resigned with drooped shoulders and a harsh face palm. You couldn't help the equally resigned laugh coming out either, which only made the owner angrier.

You couldn't control it.

Just my luck, you thought, before offering the man the money you made from selling some of Karé's spices. The man's eyes widening at the amount before adding with a frown that you shouldn't get off this easy and told you you'll help fix the store up as well as become an employee till he deems it so. You accepted it. You really destroyed the main store of Doskoi Panda. You're surprised you managed to scrounge up enough money to help fix the store. And besides, you asked the man if you can get paid as you work, at least a little. As he counted the belí you gave him, he begrudgingly accepted. Muttering to himself how he hit the jackpot and you gave him more than needed outside of your earshot.

And now here I am. You think dully, leaning against the countertop with a hand holding your head. The consequences of my actions.

You've stayed here a total of five days. And the store owner has learned that although you have money, you need clear guidance on how to help fix the store. He gave up making you fix it when messily rubbed plaster fell on his head. Instead just using the money to get construction workers to help while you focused on customer service.

You've managed to get some supplies with the money he's given you. A good amount too. You gather it's because of how infamous Doskoi Panda is, so the employees must be paid well. And you're getting a lesser amount too! But it's still enough to gather supplies such as food and water, as well as rope and just general hygiene supplies you need. Cause whether you like it or not, your body decides to bleed every now and then.

The embarrassment knowing that Zoan's know when you get it too, is something you can never truly get over.

You slightly flush at the memory when you first got it.

Late bloomer as you were and your infinite luck at getting it while out in a mission at seventeen years old. Just finished with it and at their campsite within the rainforest jungle, their fire being the only source of light due to how dense the trees were and it being night. Confusion at the stomachache you had with Lucci looking at you strangely as his eyes moved and assessed every part of your body. As if trying to find something. Back when he was still distant, eyes still dead as a fish and the ultimate form of bastard. And before you called him by any of his nickname's you chose. Asking with disbelief and that mocking tone if you were injured and if that is why you were holding your stomach. Only for you to say it's just a stomachache before you felt something trickle down between your legs, you hoping you didn't somehow just pee yourself. You've never had a stomachache like that before. Lucci sniffing the air, before recognition went through his eyes, and a grimace in his face before he turned away and ordered you to handle yourself. Your confusion only grew at the Zoan's rare show of emotion, and him pointedly looking away from you but instead of doing it just because he's an asshole he looked...awkward? Even Hattori was looking away too, a wing covering his beak. When you didn't move, he glanced at your bewildered expression, his brow raising.

"Well? Go." At your blank look, Lucci's lips thinned. "You have...supplies...don't you? Didn't you expect...this?"

Your response came unbidden and with no bite. Confused as you were yet interested at how Lucci is showing emotion. And him being uncomfortable of all things. It's a rare sight despite him being the same age as you are.

"I don't know what you mean. I haven't had a stomachache in a while. I don't get sick easily... Wait!" Your cheeks flushed, a connection made in your head. "You're...can Zoan's... did you smell that I peed...?!"

Silence reigned.

A beat passed.

Hattori decided to fly away than be a part of this conversation.

And Lucci?

Lucci looked as if he was constipated with how his brows were tense, eyes an iota wide, and his lips looking it wanted to disappear into his mouth. And if you didn't know any better...is his ears...slightly red?

It was gone like it was never there when he fixed his expression, as best as he could anyways. It seems whatever this was, it was as embarrassing to Lucci as it is to you.

"Are you joking or daft? Did no one teach you of when you become a woman?"

It only took you a few seconds before your bewilderment turned into recognition, then embarrassment, then shame.

Hina's words when you were thirteen within your mind when she took you away to the side in her room to have a conversation. Of being a girl and what it means and when you turn to a woman in biology standards. And how men can recognize the change too. The conversation at the time, frightened you even though you tried not to show it, prideful and arrogant as you were. But Hina, kind and funny teasing Hina who laughed at your pranks to fellow marines and who would jump in to tease Smoker along with you, calmed you with a dangerous smile as she stated these next words:

"You're a woman when you bleed between your legs and again between bedsheets. But remember you can still snap a man's livelihood like a pencil if needed."

You got the last statement when she winked suggestively and motioned with a finger between her legs. You guffawing in surprise to rival the Old Man but confusion at the first part. Asking her what she means by bleeding again in bed. Hina waving off your concern and stating it can be a conversation for another time. If she can manage to steal you away from the overprotective buffoons that is to explain.

You and Lucci were in awkward silence, stifling and heavy as the two of you equally couldn't even glance at each other. Lucci not saying anything when you left and came back with a ripped piece of your white dress shirt under your black jacket. It was only until they sailed away from the eyes of the island in the full cover of clouds and the night, when their ship picked them up with Kalifa being there did you finally find true reprieve. Your embarrassment growing on how Kalifa, younger than you, was more of an expert at this and what to do. Only for her to shrug, fixing her glasses as they briefly gleamed.

"Everyone gets it at a different time. That's just how it is. Now here. Cipher Pol doesn't like loose ends and you now being fertile, and possibly compromised due to it, they have medicine that can help."

And indeed they did. Didn't do much with some symptoms and you still had spotted bleeding when you got it, but their medication did work. Not like you used it for the other reason like other's did, but at least you don't have diarrhea and that's a win. The medication only needing to be taken once per month and working for the next three months.

Sadly, you forgot to pack those with you when you left too. So in another two months or so, you'll get everything full force again. Best to have supplies ready when it happens. Even though others outside of Cipher Pol don't have that medication, there are other substitutes that can help with symptoms. You remember Kalifa mentioning them. The bleeding though?

Not so much.

You're going to have to deal with that when the time comes.

And perhaps you're childish and unreasonably fearful, but you rather not stick something up there and you feel it possibly expand as it does it's job and having to take it out afterwords appealing.

Yet, the other option can be messy.

Thankfully, you're used to blood.

Yet, as you think of the embarrassing memories—memories you have tried to suppress and ignore cause damn it, you're going to look forward and not back—you couldn't help the smile that crossed your lips at how you witnessed Lucci in his own compromising moments. The two of you teenagers despite it all. Despite how deadly the two of you were. And with the others too, not too older or younger than you. That they were all people despite the red covering their hands all the way to their arms.

The remembrance to keep those memories away and ignore this weird feeling that is like nostalgia(but it can't be. Because that means you want to go back.) came back with a force. You focused back into the present and working.

The hours passed by as you helped customers until it was time for you to go, closing up shop with the store owner as music was blasting throughout the entire town. The sun low, yet still illuminating with it's pinks and purples in the sky. The street lamps of this island being more like strobe lights on how they turned off and on in beat with the music. The main party right now being where all the pools are by the resorts and hotels of this island.

You don't quite get how this is a party town for both marines and pirates, but you suppose if the pirates are cleverly disguised and don't cause trouble, they can get away with partying with marines. Who knows? They might get a kick out of it. Giggling to themselves that they're dancing next to someone who could arrest them yet they're none the wiser due to alcohol and the wish to party like the pirates do.

We're all just people in the end, you concluded as you walked to the inn where you're staying, Shanks own words to you of what is good and what is bad, really? What's a marine? What's a pirate? Don't we all wish to be free? Just people trying their best. And doing what they want. If they can.

But you can now.

You can do whatever now. Say whatever. Talk however.

"You're here aren't you? You're free to do what you want! That's a perfect reason to celebrate! Right, men?"

You're free.

"You can be selfish. Ask. You're a pirate, aren't you?"

"I...I don't know yet, really."

"Well, whatever you are," Shanks joked, hand atop your shoulder. "Ask. You're free to do so. Take it if you wish."

You don't ask permission. You don't have to anymore. Take it and hold onto it tight, and good luck to those who refuse you.

You won't stay quiet. If you want it, you'll get it. Like with Dracule "Hawkeyes" Mihawk training you.

You stare up for a moment at the sky as you walked, eyes shadowed under your cap that was only ever growing as the sun was slowly starting to go down. And say goodbye to the day and for night to come, only for somewhere else to experience the dawn. Music far away in your ears and feeling the pull to grab the bathing suit the actually not grubby geezer of a store owner gave you to party since you've been working hard and just jump in the pool and relax.

I can do anything. It hits you once more. This freedom, this thing you have in your hands and with the sail of your boat that you can move whichever way because you get to decide. Travel aimlessly. Stay for how many days you what in an island. To train and to fight with anyone of the open sea. Challenge openly or party and relax as you wish. Pick what is home and what is not. To shout, to yell, to spatting with all your might and not hold back. Because your life is your own. And the sea is open to you. The choices endless just like it's horizon. Is this what you meant, Shanks? Why pirates have this desire for the sea?

If the freedom before you, if the ocean is a representation of what being free means, with its sea breeze and harsh winds and it's waves that can turn to dangerous tides with a flip of a coin, with its mystery yet calling to solve it, then maybe...maybe...

Maybe you have a title you can accept as your own now.

You smiled in a mix of eagerness and nervous excitement as you moved a little quicker to your inn along the main road of the island, wanting to jump in the pool just because you can!

"You have a lot of nerve looking like that." A charming smooth yet light voice stated behind you, you freezing at the sound. Because it's supposed to be smooth and light, not pained and harsh. "Do you know what you've done? Do you truly? Or do you not care, you traitor." The voice spat.

You turned your head, slowly. Disbelievingly. Because no.

You're not ready for this yet.

You can't handle this kind of confrontation yet.

And yet, your wants betrayed what it actually is. Your wide and shocked (e/c) eyes meeting the form of one of your closest friends in the marines. Hina.

Hina, who's expression was severe and gloved hands tight, billowing marine jacket behind her with no cigarette in sight. You distantly notice one on the ground, snapped in half and you wonder if she bit it and that's why she has stray ash around her mouth.

She didn't seem to care though as she glared at you, brown eyes hurt and hostile as you could only stare. Your head refusing to believe this was happening.

"Well?" Hina huffed at your silence, not seeming to take in your disbelief as to what it was. A simple refusal that this was happening, but something else. She scoffed. "Did you think Hina or anyone else will not find you and detain you? You're lucky it's Hina here and not anyone else. I barely managed to be one of the those who were accepted to take you in. Despite our past and whatever bias I may or may not have due to it being you. What were you thinking? What are you thinking, (Y/N)?! Proving to everyone you've ever fought and argued with that you, in the end, are just meant to follow the blood in your veins?!"

You flinch, a jerk of your body as if you were hit. You took a step back even.

"I—"

But Hina.

Hina who smiled and teased along with you to Smoker and sometimes to you too despite her normal stoic and calm exterior. Hina who tried to give you a heads up of what being a girl means and advise and lessons no one seemed to be willing to teach or tell you. Hina who showed you that you're pretty with a makeover once yet adding that they didn't have to do it again because you felt weird but here for you if you wish to do it again. Hina who was actually soft despite how she always seemed to appear stern, similar to how Smoker is. Hina who always had an answer and a cool quip, who you always saw as rational.

Hina—who cut you off and had tears in her eyes and voice cracking at some words as she continued her tongue lashing at you.

"What?! What, (Y/N)?! Or is it just Silver Blood now? No. Ex-Marine Silver Blood. That's it, isn't it? Why do you look hurt? You didn't think what would happen to us? The rest of us who grew up with you? Those of us who were in the same class when we were younger? You didn't think how we would feel? No." Hina laughed, short and harsh. Your ears grating at the sound as you bit your inner lip. "You never think. You just look ahead and damned the consequences. I found it funny once. Admiring even. Just how carefree you can be. But not anymore. Not with this. Not with this...! Do you...have any idea...what Garp is going through right now? Gone and no word from you for years only to finally get something when you came to Marineford only for you to backstab all of us! Do you know what he's been through while you were gone?! With Smoker?! Me?! Everyone?!"

You thought of your fight with that salty pirate back in Karé, mocking at how Garp seemed to be easy to hit the last few years. Out of touch. But you knew.

You knew.

Garp was in pain.

And you tripled it now.

And Smoker...

You can't imagine he's faring much better. Despite you giving him a heads up.

A heads up doesn't hide the sting. The burn. The cut you gave to all of them when the newspaper was printed.

When you spoke, it was more a breath. The wind having to carry your words as you swallowed thickly, heart pounding yet a rock in your gut at the same time.

"I—Hina, I—you don't know what it was like in Cipher Pol. The things I did and seen, I-I didn't want to do it anymore. I couldn't. The things the World Government does...I...I can't. Justice means nothing if it's only about killing...! Please understand!"

Hina's eyes narrowed at your plea, your begging tone and your