A/N: Lullaby. Sidebar (above for mobile). Now. Thank me later. This girl's a fucking boss ass bitch.

Cassie’s POV:

Struggling to pull myself out of the last dregs of my dream, I smiled at the soft vibrations running throughout my body, their melodious hum easing me back into the peace that sleep promised. 

Snuggling deeper down into the warmth surrounding me, I fisted my hand into the fabric, my curiosity peaking as my nails skimmed a solid heat below. My eyes twitched beneath my closed lids as a new sound invaded the serene humming, the quiet scrape of paper against paper. Two silky lines pressed gently against my forehead as my arms were suddenly constricted against my body and the solid surface beneath me. 

I frowned and crushed my eyes closed tighter. Ignore it. You’re exhausted and your mind is messing with you. I burrowed down deeper into the warmth beneath me, reveling in the heady scent that pricked at my mind, begging me to place it.

Paper scraped paper as the humming continued, lilting every so often before fading again, mahogany and teakwood tickled my senses. The lulling movement that had been gently rocking me back and forth suddenly changed, hitching for several seconds before picking up a more rapid pace. A frustrated groan slipped from my lips as I blinked my eyes, the lazy motion struggling to adjust to the change in lighting.

I flinched as a hot hand suddenly cupped my cheek, easing my head back until my eyes were met by concerned jade depths, “Hello, Angel,” he cooed, his voice still thick with sleep. I jolted, my body screamed for me to get the hell away from him. I couldn’t remember how he had gotten in or managed to get me into bed. I squirmed in his embrace, a sigh of relief escaping as I realized that we were both fully clothed.

“Are you okay?” Emotion flooded his voice as I watched him with open confusion, my eyes widening as the memories from last night gradually laced themselves back together. Tears pooled in my eyes, slipping through my tight control as I crushed them closed, burring my face deep into the crook of his arm, hiding there. Soft whimpers fell from my parted lips as the phantom pains returned, my right hand cried out in agony as I clutched tightly onto the thin fabric of his t-shirt.

There was a slight thump of something hitting the ground before his arms automatically tightened around me, the pain racking my body only intensifying, “Shhh, Angel, shhhh, I’m here, I’m here,” he cooed, his words slipping into the same slow hum as before. My body automatically responded as the quiet melody played out though his sultry voice.

Dear Lamb of mine, find sleep and peace in dreams,

I’m here, my dear, I swear I’ll never leave;

My constricted muscles relaxed and I collapsed onto his chest, silent tears streaming down my cheeks.

Divine, sweet child, virtue in your bright eyes gleams,

Cry not, Angel, let fear leave, in the night, a thief;

Gentle hands ran up and down my arms, soft lips pressing repeatedly against my forehead and into my dark hair. I gasped in a shaking breath as I fought off the flashbacks. His golden eyes were waiting for me whenever I closed mine, His malicious smile jeering at me from the shadows, His jealously fueled rage pinning me up against the wall, large hands landing blows to my abdomen that would leave undeniable plum flowers.

Monsters, depart afraid of what’s to come,

Be strong, dear one, smile bright into the night;

I dug my fingers down into his skin through his t-shirt, struggling to keep myself grounded in reality against the memories threatening to steal my consciousness. 

Strong and sure, be loud and bang your drum,

Never desist, fight on my fair young knight;

 I clung to his chest, burring my face so that he couldn’t see me fall apart. No one had ever seen me after one of His episodes, I had never let them. No one understood what I had gone through, how could they? They had never been forced to endure something that slowly killed them day by day. They had never loved someone so much that just being with them caused them physical pain; a pain rivaled only by that of being without them. 

Close your eyes as you lean on my arm,

With one small wish I hope you safely live

I hated the fact that no matter where I went He always seemed to be lurking over my shoulder, casting shadows into the brightest parts of my life. His poison had already tainted me, it infected my art, my thoughts, my actions, and my words. Every time I spoke I felt myself flinch away, dreading the blows that I had come to anticipate.

That this world should deny to you all harm,

Held close and dear, this wish to you I give;

What had I been thinking dragging Harry into this? He wouldn’t care what it cost Him, He would do anything it took to ensure that I was His and His alone. He would be sure to take away anything that kept me from Him.

Fresh, heart-wrenching pain echoed throughout my entire body. He had hurt me in so many ways, I was already damaged beyond repair, I couldn’t stand to see Him do that to anyone else. I bit down on my lip to stifle the sob threatening to burst from my chest, my entire body shaking as I fought against the terror that seeing Him again had caused.

Dear Lamb of mine, find sleep and peace in dreams,

Sweet and chaste, walk forward toward the light,

His large hands trailed simple patterns into my skin and I closed my eyes tight, concentrating on the sound of Harry’s voice. I forced my chest to rise and fall in sync with his, using his body as a guide for my own. My small ragged gasps slowly evened out, though the tears refused to halt their stream, soaking through his shirt. 

No longer trapped within night-mare regimes,

Upon strong wings your sleeping soul takes flight.

I sucked in a deep breath, holding onto his solid heat with all of the strength I had left. One large, gentle hand took hold of my chin, easing it up, forcing me to meet his forest orbs. I crushed my eyes, closed, blinking away tears as he brushed his full lips back and forth against mine, the sensation sending shockwaves rocketing up my spine. I sealed my lips against his, closing what little space was left between us. I jolted as my stomach suddenly chose to complain. It’s rather loud protests, vibrating between us.

My eyes popped wide open and I pursed my lips, I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks and I ducked my face down, resting it against his chest.

“Come on, Angel, I think that’s our cue,” He sighed, his deep chuckle tickling my ear.

“Nuuuuh uhhh,” I mumbled, shaking my head, running my nose back and forth across his chest. There was not a thing on God’s green earth that was going to get me to move from my current position. Every time he moved, I could feel his toned chest and abdomen tense beneath me; it was not a sensation that I was ready to give up.

“You need to eat,” he protested, pressing tender kisses against the top of my head, twirling a long lock of my hair through his fingers.

“Nope.”

“You’re stomach is growling, Angel.”

“That’s because it is a little bitch and it can’t take a hint,” I grumbled, grinning to myself as I slipped my fingers down his chest and under the hem of his t-shirt. His breathing hitched as my fingers teased the bare surface of his skin, trailing the prominent lines carved into his abdomen. My grin grew as gooseflesh trailed after my touch.

“Okay, now I know you’re delirious. Come on, up and at ‘em.” 

“You sound like my father,” I groaned, digging the tips of my fingers into his skin, holding on as he tried to shake me loose.

“Hmmm, so then maybe you should listen to me.”

“Nope,” I grinned, popping the ‘p’, “I was never good at that sort of thing, selective hearing, they called it.”

He let out a moan as I swirled my fingertips around on his chest, moving to softly suck on the hollow of his neck, just below his ear. With obvious effort he pushed me away. I sat back, perching my head in my hands on his chest, visibly pouting.

“As much as I’d love to spend the day in bed with you, Angel. I think your red-haired minx of a roommate would be angry with me. I don’t think she’d let me back in.”

“What makes you think she’d get a choice?” I challenged, quirking an eyebrow up at him.

“Because she’s been jutting her nose in here every bloody hour to check on you-,”

“How is she, Harry? Is she awake yet?” Gwen’s voice hissed from the half open doorway.

“Right on cue,” he chuckled, rolling his eyes, “Why don’t you ask her yourself?” He called to her, pecking me softly on the lips, “I’ll go make some tea.” When I clung to his chest, he gently pried my fingers loose, “Don’t worry, Angel, I’ll be right back.” My eyes wandered after him as he eased himself out of the bed, ensuring the duvet was tucked down around me before sauntering out of the room.

"Interesting," Gwen mused, lounging out beside me, filling the spot that Harry had just vacated.

"What?" I asked, blushing slightly in spite of myself as I tucked a stray bit of hair behind my ear, folding my bare legs under me. Sometime during the night I had lost my pants... making this the second time I had woken up half naked with Harry in the span of a week.

"Nothing... Nothing," She chuckled slightly, shaking her head. I rolled my eyes, massaging my wrist, phantom pains still plagued the reconstructed bones. If I wasn't careful I'd have to start wearing my brace again, that couldn't happen. 

Rolling my eyes, I flipped back the duvet, climbing out of the warm bed, shuffling over to my dresser, removing an oversized pair of grey sweats, jumping into them. As I turned back to climb into bed a flash of  white caught my eye. I gritted my teeth as I knelt down to examine the delicate book. Fresh tears pricked at the back of my eyes at the image of the broken shell of a girl immortalized within the thick pages. Dark shadows stained her right eye, feathering out along her brow bone and into her cheek. Her lip was split, swollen and bleeding.

Rising suddenly, I snapped the book closed, cradling it against my chest, ignoring Gwen's prying questions as I dug through the back of my closet, searching for the trunk that was now home to some of my worst nightmares and most intimate musings. I turned the combination, popping the lock. A sigh of relief escaped me as I saw that all of the old books were stacked neatly, their secrets still confidential. I placed the book on top of its predecessors, closing the trunk, locking it again.

Her smile disappeared as she watched me, blue eyes clouding, "Hey," she whispered, as I came back, wrapping myself up in the duvet. I was exhausted, the burden of His secrets kept getting heavier and heavier. One silent tear slipped down my cheek as I struggled to retain what little bit of control I had left. 

Gwen scooted forward, reaching out taking my sore hand into her own, "Are you okay?"

"Hmm?" I asked, doing my best to lock down all of my emotions. I wasn't ready to let her in; this was my fault. I had no right to thrust all of my pathetic problems on her, she didn't deserve it and I didn't need her pity.

"Cass, you know you can talk to me right?" She whispered, wiping the trail of tears away.

"I-I know, thank you, Gwen," I managed, sucking in a sharp breath.

"What's going on?"

"Can we talk about this later?" I whispered, the banging had quieted down in the kitchen, signaling that Harry would be back at any moment.

She watched me skeptically for a moment before, nodding her head, "Fine, but you can't put this off forever, I know that something is going on, Cass. I'm worried about you."

"I know..." I breathed, ducking my head, picking at the duvet. She pecked me on the cheek, before climbing out of my bed. I watched her go, winking at Harry as he balanced two cups of tea and a plate of toast.

"Careful there, Darling, wouldn't want to ruin such a... hampering slip of fabric," she sighed, plucking at the front of his shirt. He rolled his eyes at her, setting the food down on my dresser.

"Goodbye, Gwen," he cooed, shutting the door suddenly in her face. I couldn't help the small giggle that escaped me as I imagined her infuriated expression just beyond the door. I snuggled down deeper into the duvet, propping several pillows up behind me.

"You two seem friendly," I joked, taking the cup he handed me, sniffing it before taking a sip. He'd obviously rooted through the cupboards to find my private stash of chamomile. The first week I'd moved in, I'd made the mistake of leaving it out where Gwen could get to it; the entire box had been used within a matter of days. 

I was shocked at the bitter taste, quirking an eyebrow up at the curly haired boy.

"What is it? You don't like it? I can go make some more? Get some sugar and milk?"

"No, no it's perfect," I gaped, taking another long sip of the burning liquid, "How did you know?"

"Know what?"

"That I don't like anything in my tea?"

"Lucky guess," he winked at me, flashing me a fox smile, both cheeks dimpling. He grabbed the plate of toast, setting it down on my lap before climbing back into the bed next to me. I ducked my head as he curiously searched the floor, obviously looking for the sketchbook I had locked away in his absence. If he was going to ask me about it, he obviously thought better of it, turning instead to a piece of toast, spreading a thin line of berry preserves across the surface.

"Eat," he commanded, holding it out to me. I eyed him, a small smile teasing up the edges of my mouth.

"What makes you think I like preserves?"

"Because the jar had a note on it telling Gwen to 'keep her grubby paws to herself'. I will never understand you Americans and your animal references," He chuckled, shaking his head, "Now eat it."

Grinning, I took a small bite out of it as he held it in the air; he watched me with an amused glint in his jade eyes but he didn't comment on my childish behavior. My eyes popped wide open as he took a rather large bite out of the toast.

Snatching it away I squealed, "Get your own!"

"You're the one who refused to take it," he shrugged, ripping a piece off before I could move it out of reach.

"Don't you have some place else to be?" I grumbled, taking a sharp bite.

"Nope, I'm all yours, Angel."

"Great," I mumbled, cheering silently in my head. No matter how annoying he could be, something inside of me craved his presence.

"Would it really be so bad?" He asked suddenly, jade eyes wary. I watched him over my third piece of toast, nibbling on the edge.

"Would what be?" I mumbled, dropping the unfinished bit onto the plate, placing it on my bedside table.

"Being my girlfriend?" I balked at his quiet words, my cheeks blazing. I focused my full attention on finding loose threads in the duvet, picking at them, refusing to meet his knowing gaze. 

He was quiet for a moment waiting for me to respond, "I didn't know that I was being given much of a choice?" His breath audibly quickened and I could feel his entire body stiffen beside me. The answer was obvious. No, it wouldn't be bad. There was nothing bad about it. Just being near him made me feel safe, a feeling that I thought had abandoned me over a year ago.

"You've always had a choice, Angel," I scoffed at him, quirking an eyebrow, "I have always given you a choice. I may have been trying to  help you chose the right one, but you have always had a choice," he insisted, holding his hands up in front of his face, eyes wide, doing his best to impart an air of innocence.

I sucked in a sharp breath, a bit taken aback at this new information. He had always seemed so forceful, locking me out of my flat, scaring the shit out of any guy who tried to talk to me, refusing to let me sleep anywhere other than with him.

“You know that I’ll never force you into anything right?” He asked, tugging on my chin, forcing me to look at him. Stubborn as always, I crushed my eyes closed, terrified of what I would see in the twin jade orbs.

“How can you promise that?” I whispered, my voice cracking. I’d heard those words before, I knew the kind of damage believing them could cause, “How can you expect me to trust you when I know nothing about you?”

He watched me quizzically, clearly baffled by my questions, “Well looks like we’ve got some work to do then,” he huffed, reaching across me to retrieve his phone from the bedside table. My heart began to race as his face hovered over mine for a split second, his lips mere inches from my own.

“What are you doing?” I asked, leaning towards him, propping my chin up on his shoulder to see what he was typing.

“Calling in sick.”

“What? Why?”

“I have a few much more pressing matters to take care of,” he hummed, turning suddenly, connecting his full lips to mine. I smiled into the kiss, tangling my fingers into his curls. His arms wrapped around my waist, slipping up the back of my shirt, tugging me forward so that I was lying on top of him. When he finally broke away, my head was spinning and I couldn’t help but giggle as he playfully tapped his long fingers into the bare skin of my back.

“What would you like to know?” He rasped, nipping tenderly at my bottom lip as I jutted it out, my mind racing to figure out the right questions to ask.

“Something that I can’t find on google,” I joked, sticking the tip of my pinky into the dip of his prominent left dimple.

“So you’ve been doing your a bit of homework?”

“Standard background check, perks of being my boyfriend,” I quipped, my cheeks burning as the last bit slipped out before I could stop it, “Oh lord,” I groaned into his chest, my blush deepening as I felt his deep chuckle vibrate beneath me.

“And what did you find out?” He laughed, long fingers trailing a line of fire up and down my spine.

“You have a lot of fans,” I groaned, propping my chin up on his chest, rolling my eyes.

“And?”

“Isn’t that all there is to you? Well that and the fact that you’re in a boy band,” I joked, jutting my tongue out slightly.

“World famous boy band,” he corrected, fixing me with a steely glare.

“Oh, I’m sorry, my mistake,” I grinned up at him unapologetically.

“Mhmmm, sure. What else did you find?”

“Honestly? Not much else,” I admitted, reaching down to play with the sideways cross hanging on a chain around my neck, a nervous habit I’d adopted years ago, “I got a bit bored,” I shrugged, refusing to meet his gaze.

“Bored. You were bored?” 

“Well yeah, there’s only so many times you can read ‘I love Harry Styles’ before you want to repeatedly bang your head against the wall. I swear my IQ dropped like ten points,” I teased, pressing a light kiss against his chest.

“Hey now, they are just expressing themselves. It’s not my fault they love me,” he shrugged.

“Mhmmm.”

“So it looks like I’m actually the one that knows more about you,” He chuckled, tweaking my nose.

“What can you possibly know about me?”

“Your full name is Cassandra Vale, but you prefer Cassie