For love_HAZBIN_hotel

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This was a commercial blitzo and the imps were watching and that was very unpleasant so blitzo blasted the tv to smithereens

Millie: Nice one, B!

Blitzo: Give me another, Mox!

Moxxie nervously sweeps away the flaming debris and puts another old fashioned TV onto the stand. He turns it on with a scared look on his face. The 666 News logo appears. Blitzo wipes off the soot from his gun

Blitzo: No, I'm not feeling it. Next!

Moxxie switches the channel. Betty Boop appears in black and white, dancing erotically with prominent breasts, holding a pitchfork. Blitzo looks bored.

Blitzo: Uh huh, keep going, keep going, keep going!

Moxxie switches the channel again. Wally Wackford appears on the screen dressed in white with a black top hat, holding a cane.

Wally Wackford: Hey! I say! Are you looking to get work making crazy contraptions and goofy gadgets? Well call me at Wacky Wally Wallford's Wacky Idea "Factory"!

The title appears against a similar circular background of classic old cartoons

Wally Wackford: Where you can make the things and I make the money!

Wally Wackford appears close to the screen with a pleading face

Wally Wackford: Please, I'm very desperate!

Blitzo: Bingo!

Blitzo shoots and explodes the TV again

Millie: Woo! You're on a roll, sir!

Loona wakes up from her canine sleep on a chair. A shaking causes her cup to spill.

Loona: Guys, do you feel that?

Blitzo: Oh shit, is that a hell-shake?

Moxxie: That's possible.

Millie holds onto Moxxie as his tail shoots up in fear

Millie: Alright! Don't panic, Moxxie!

Moxxie: I'm not "panicking," because hell-shakes don't happen.

Loona roughly grabs hold of Moxxie and shakes him

Loona: Stop getting hysterical, fatty!

Loona hits Moxxie against the wall before he is knocked down further by what appears to be a wrecking ball. Part of the wall crumbles on top of Moxxie. The smoke clears and a giant metal Tyrannosaurus rex crashes through letting out a defaming metallic roar

D strux: is this the headquarters of the immediate murder professionals?

Blitzo: Please tell me you got that insurance thing.

Millie takes out a sharp black ax

Millie: Who are you and what do you want?

D strux: the names d strux, and the scraptool on my tread is my flunky scrap it

Scrap it: ooh! His (hugs arm) flunky!

Loona: Could've just used the door, dude. Doesn't need to be this whole thing

D strux: I don't take orders from anyone! I'm a tyrannosaurus trux! I follow my own rules

Blitzo sniffs him and flinches

Blitzo: Ugh! The old fuck reeks of the living world. Did you just die?

D strux: you wish, I was granted access to this realm and told to come here

Loona: Just saying the front door would've gotten you here fine

D strux: shut up, ya dumb animal

Loona growls in anger

D strux: scrap it? The picture

Scrap it: my pleasure!

Scrap it then goes through the storage unit and He comes out and holds up an old photo of

D strux: that's the menace we need you to kill

Blitzo takes the photo from him

Blitzo: Not even a shit's length of time in Hell and he's already plotting revenge? I can respect a man with that sort of passion! I'm Blitzo, the "o" is silent

Blitzo comes up and shakes d strux hand

Scrap it: what o?

Blitzo: Oh thank you. Now what's the tea-sis?

Scrap it: tea?

Moxxie's arm appears as he struggles under the weight of the debris

Moxxie: Guys, help!

Blitzo elbows D strux

Blitzo: Why're we killing this chick?I mean what did she do to you?

Moxxie's arm inches back and he squeals in pain

Moxxie: Losing ox-! (oxygen)

D strux: this is sisu. she's an old enemy of my master, her powers are far beyond your comprehension. She may seem nice and friendly but beware, my master wants her dead, and your the right demons for the job

Moxxie is still stuck under the rubble

Moxxie: Everything...is going...down

Blitzo: okay soooooo.... what's in it for us metal face?

He gets up to his face but d strux snorts

D strux: you kill this beast, and I'll convince my master to appoint you his.... personal bodyguards

Moxxie: That's kinda hot.

Moxxie does a thumbs up as everyone glances at him
...
Scene cuts to imps wearing wigs and costumes going through a dense jungle and finds sisu by a huge lake looking up to the stars

Milly: well that was easy

Sisu: (sigh) who am I kidding? I don't belong here

She looks up to a tree branch covered in thick vines and she proceeds to tear them off

Sisu: I've been asleep for 10,000 years. I do t belong in this era

Blitzo: Oh fantastic, she's going to do our job for us!

She ties the vine up to a lasso

Moxie: should we go over there and help her?

Sisu is about to put it over her head as the imps watch with drinks and popcorn. The vine glows white and a force knocks the imps back. Blitzo's kitten sock flies away, making Blitzo sad. Sisu adjusts to the light and sees the three cherubs floating down gracefully in three rays of light

Sisu: what the what?
...
Blitzo: Who the fuck are they?!

Moxxie: Oh no! Sir those are...
...
Cletus: Cherubs mrs sisudatu!

Sisu: what are should three doing here? I ain't dead yet

Collin: We're here to convince you not to kill yourself, ma'am . To grant you a blessing, on behalf of those in Heaven benefited by your amazing strength courage and passion
...
Blitzo: Oh hell no! Don't forget...

Blitzo rushes through the jungle but accidentally slips and falls into the lake with moxie and milly walking to them

Moxie: sisudatu, is our most...

Moxxie glances at Blitzo before looking back at sisu

Moxxie: ...humble opinion that you should continue the process to commit die.

Millie: I mean, what do you expect to do with your life now you're 10,000 old...and gross?

Keenie: Is that a serious question? She can help spread her water powers around with the people of the world! And do so much good with it! And be so fulfilled!

Keenie flies around and happily throws some water in the air

Collin: she could help bring rainwater to the rainforest and save the Amazon!

Sisu: yeah not what I had in mind today

Blitzo appears beside her

Blitzo: Oh, sounds like you need help offing yourself, buddy. Moxxie, what have we got for this lady?

Moxxie tosses a variety of weapons to Blitzo and Sisu

Moxxie: I have some assault weapons, crossbow, honey bow, tommy gun, old-fashioned shotgun, revolvers in three colors, chainsaws, katanas...

Collin: There are still plenty of reasons to live mrs datu!

Sisu: yeah right. What good is there if I don't have any family

Blitzo: wait, you don't have family?

Sisu: no, besides, I don't Belong in this time

Cletus: Love can be beautiful at any age, and we'll show her!

C.H.E.R.U.B. (cheers): Yes!

I.M.P. (yells): No!
...

C.H.E.R.U.B. takes Sisu up to a hill, overlooking a forest and a lake

Cletus: Look around, Sisu. God's gift of nature is a wonder to behold, regard less of age!

Collin: If you were to end your life now, you'd be missing all of this

Blitzo appears in a tiger costume

Blitzo: You're gonna buy that load of shit from a baby and the sheep it fucks?

Keenie covers her mouth and the other cherubs gasp

Keenie: That is so inappropriate!

Millie and Moxxie appear in cat costumes. Millie shows two middle fingers

Millie: Oh kiss our ass, prude!

Blitzo shoves Sisu aside in the face and sits next to him

Blitzo: Anyway, take it from me, a fellow genius. Nature is no picnic up close

Sisu looks through the binoculars and sees a group of bunnies and squirrels together. The critters are suddenly eaten and torn by a pack of hungry wolves

Sisu: yikes!

As she said that a giant velociraptor came and tore one of the wolves to shreds just as a tyrannosaurus came and grabbed the raptor in its jaws and sunk its fangs dee into the raptors body killing it. Everyone freezes in horror

Cletus (nervously): Let's go check out someplace else!

Millie and Moxxie do a fist bump in their cat costumes

Little did they know they were being watched by a giant metal beast
...

Scene cuts to a shopping mall. Sisu is pushed through a wall

Sisu: ow! Luckily earth dragons have really thick skulls

Keenie: We're here to show you another thing life is worth living for. Childhood of wonderment.

Keenie mentions to a crowd of kids cheering by a sitting Santa Claus. One kid wears a "craft mine" shirt, while another eats his booger

Sisu: aww, look at those adorable kids, so young, so innocent

Blitzo and Millie are dressed as elves, while a grumpy Moxxie wears a reindeer costume. They stand by Santa and a kid

Blitzo: Hey dipshit! Wanna see whose lap you're sitting on?!

Blizo rips off the red robe. "Santa" is revealed as an ugly gnome wearing a "cuties" shirt. The kids scream and run. Sisu is really disgusted by this. A concerned Cletus pushes her away
...

Scene cuts to Sisu in the woods next to a wooden sign reading "Lover's Lookout, I guess..."

Sisu: where are we now?

Cletus: Lover's Lookout, sir! We're here to remind you about possibly life's greatest joy of all

Sisu: (hears stomach growls) food?

Collin: No. Love!

Sisu: I've never been in love before. Sounds rather romantic...

Collin: It's not too late ma'am! You can still find...

The imps arrive wearing wigs and dresses

Blitzo: Ah, nice try, ugly.

He pulls out a megaphone

Blitzo: Hey horny lovers! Which one of you would fuck this 10,000 year old lizard?!

All the cars speed away in response. Sisu then looks down and walks away

Collin gets into Blitzo's face

Collin: You know you three are so utterly...cruel. We're just trying to give hope to someone in need

Moxxie: Oh and you three are so superior to us just because we want some worthless old lizard who doesn't want anything to do with this life to kneel over dead!

Blitzo: You're making things too real now, Moxxie.

Blitzo sprays piss from a spray bottle into Moxxie's face, making him flinch
...
Scene cuts to a woman dressed as a Viking on a white horse singing opera on a stage. A well-dressed man plays a piano. The cherubs are well-dressed, too.

Cletus: Behold, the wonder of art and music! Something always to comfort, entertain and live for!

Up above the stage, Blitzo wags his butt and tail expectantly

Millie: So, how do we make this bad?

Moxxie: We can't. There's literally nothing bad about opera. That's a fact.

Blitzo: Unless we ruin it somehow!

With a mischievous grin, Blitzo moves the spotlight around the stage. The singer pauses and follows the light as he moves the light some more

Sisu: something ain't taught here

Blitzo moves the light faster and faster as the cherubs narrow their eyes in suspicion. Blitzo gasps as he accidentally lets go of the stage light. The woman sings a final note before the light crushes her on stage. The audience, Sisu and the cherubs scream, while the man nervously tries to keep playing the piano

Blitzo: Oh, at least we made it bad.

The three cherubs fly angrily toward the imps.

Cletus: That's it! I've had it! You three black sheep have messed with us enough!

Collin: We are just trying to do our job!

Moxxie: Well so are we!

Cletus: Enough!

The cherubs summon golden crossbows and aim them at the imps

Cletus: We are saving that shitty oversized lizard's life whether she wants it or not!

Blitzo: Well someone wants that fucker dead, okay? And he paid in advance and I spent it all on this...

Blitzo holds up a green horse figure wearing jewels, sunglasses and a "mare-ajuanna" cap.

Blitzo.: ...so she's gotta go!

Keenie flies into Blitzo's face

Keenie: You all are such disgusting loathsome beasts! Your kind is nothing but dirt that shitty dead people tread on! And now you're trying to meddle with the lives of humans?!

Millie bares her teeth and pulls Keenie by her necklace

Millie: So are you! Why don't you shut your trap you judgmental, cotton candy, tit Heaven bitch?!

Keenie and Millie growl

Keenie: Filthy demon crap!

Intense opera music plays as the fight scene begins. Keenie and Millie roll over in a cat fight. Cletus and Collin shoot golden arrows at Blitzo and Moxxie who run away. Moxxie runs down the catwalk and jumps down, swinging from a rope. He holds a revolver in one hand and aims it at Keenie, who fights with Millie in the air. Millie slaps Keenie in the face several times. Moxxie fires at a rope which releases a bag. The bag separates Keenie and Millie, and Moxxie catches Millie. Moxxie and Millie grab each other's faces with lustful grins. They French-kiss and make out as they swing and spin rapidly above the stage and fire from their weapons. Blitzo spots Keenie's hair bow fall from above. The arrows and bullets hit and kill the audience members

Sisu: I am so outta here!
...

Blitzo runs along the metal scaffolding with his revolver. He jumps onto another one attached with rope. He and Cletus point their weapons at each other. After a brief stare-down, Blitzo throws his weapon into Cletus' face.

Cletus: Ah! You fucker!

[Blinded, he screams and fires his arrow. He. Moxxie and Millie all fall within the metal scaffolding to the floor, narrowly missing the pianist. The pianist stops playing, puts down his stool and uses it to step down from the higher floor. The piano is then sent flying through the air. I.M.P. and C.H.E.R.U.B. stare as the piano keeps falling, just then the strangest thing happened. A giant metal green parasaurolophus charges through the walls right at them and shopped the piano the pieces

Sisu: what the?!

Blitzo: oh Christ a parasaur spirit?

Parasaur spirit: hola señores y señoras, I am the great parasaurolophus spirit! I am an amigo espíritu animal, and how are you all esta hermosa noche?

Milly: we're getting a job done here

Parasaur spirit: well it's the equivocado job! You've been bureado by a no good mentiroso!

Blitzo: ya mean d strux?

Parasaur spirit: si!

And speak of the devil d strux came into the scene

D strux: why isn't she dead?!?!

Blitzo: we're doing what we can!

D strux: doesn't matter! It was so obvious that stevens friends would kill the newest member of their team so ghidorah will have much easier doings reclaiming this planet for its rightful animal leaders!

Moxie: wait, your on our side?

Sisu: yeah, I met Steven just a last week!

Blitzo: oh, fuck

D strux: doesn't matter, I'm finishing her off myself!

Cletus: oh no you don't!

The three cherubs come in front of him with their crossbows at the ready