! CONTENT WARNING !
this chapter contains discussion of abuse, murder, and abandonment. if you are uncomfortable with these topics, i urge you not to read this chapter. these are a few details of tiago's backstory, so if you don't read this chapter, there will be a few things missing in future chapters that may not make sense to you. if you wish to know what happens in this chapter, you can dm me and i can explain tiago's backstory and summarise this chapter in a more sensitive way. thank you :)

― ➶ ―

"I was under the impression your mother was dead," Newt said bluntly.

Tiago gave a wry smile. "So was I." He shook his head. "But that was definitely ... her. God, she looks exactly like―" He stopped himself, cutting his sentence short. Newt raised an eyebrow, but he didn't seem to want to push Tiago any further than the older boy was willing to go.

It was then that Tiago realized how far he'd walked because his leg was throbbing. He looked down at the injury, frowning. Newt followed his gaze and frowned as well.

"Want me to check that?"

Tiago shrugged. "It's been pretty alright since we got out of the truck earlier," he said honestly. "I think I just walked a little too fast."

"Let's hope it's healing and you haven't ripped those stitches open," Newt said, concern lacing his voice.

"It doesn't even hurt that much anymore," Tiago muttered. He paused. "I do think I need to sit down, though."

The two headed for a group of small rocks. Tiago settled down on top of one, shifting around slightly to get more comfortable. Newt watched him in amusement, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. When Tiago was finally settled, injured leg stretched out in front of him, Newt bent down and began fiddling with the bandages.

"I told you it's fine," Tiago said in exasperation, wincing when the bandage shifted across a few stitches.

"And I don't really believe you," Newt replied smoothly, "considering you've flinched twice since I started taking these off." Tiago rolled his eyes, but a smile was forming on his own lips. "You wanna tell me about your mother, or are we gonna leave that hanging?"

Tiago tensed immediately. Newt paused his ministrations and glanced up at the older boy. Tiago furrowed his eyebrows, then licked his lips. One could take it for stalling, but Tiago was just trying to find the words to start explaining himself.

"It probably looks bad that I punched a woman in the face," he realized suddenly.

Newt chuckled, looking back down at the bandages. "Yeah, probably."

Tiago looked down at the blond. He wanted to ask why he'd come after him, why he felt the need to make sure he was okay. Tiago figured he'd get the same answer he'd already had from Newt: I don't know. He wanted to know so badly. He groaned aloud in frustration, startling Newt and making him look up with raised eyebrows.

"Why'd you follow me out here?" Newt blinked twice, then shrugged, opening his mouth to answer. "And don't bullshit me, either. Why did you feel the need to check up on me? I―" He cut himself off, shaking his head slightly. Newt didn't speak. "I didn't think anyone was gonna care enough, because Brenda's infected."

Newt finished taking the bandages off, balling them up and tossing them aside.

"It's definitely healing."

"Newt," Tiago said firmly.

"I don't know, alright?" Newt cried, throwing his hands up in exasperation. "I don't know why I care, I don't know what this―this feeling is. It's driving me insane, actually, so thanks for that. I don't know why you draw my attention all the time, why you're so bloody interesting for no reason, I don't―"

Tiago launched himself from his spot on the rock, threw himself at Newt, into the blond's arms, and pressed his lips firmly against the other's. Newt made a noise of surprise, and Tiago pulled back immediately.

"I'm sorry, I just―" Tiago paused, licking his lips. "Everything you said, it made me want―"

Newt shifted forward, pressing their lips together again. Tiago responded immediately, letting out a noise of his own and pressing forward even more, so that it almost hurt. His eyes were clenched shut, his lips moving against Newt's, and finally the aching feeling in his stomach evaporated. Tiago pulled back again, a smile overtaking his face.

"It's gone," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. Newt's smile matched his. "The feeling that I told you about earlier, it's gone."

Newt chuckled and kissed him again. Tiago was smiling into the kiss, trying his hardest to kiss back but finding himself only able to laugh.

"Can you shut up?" Newt said, words against Tiago's lips, though Tiago could hear the laughter in his voice. "I've finally figured out what the hell's going on, and you're ruining it by laughing."

"Sorry that my happiness upsets you," Tiago crooned, reaching a hand up to stroke the blond's cheekbone. Newt leaned into the touch, his eyes closing and his mouth turning up into a soft smile.

A throat cleared, interrupting the moment. Both boys turned their heads and saw Minho standing a few feet away, his gaze averted as he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. Newt stepped away from Tiago slightly, also feeling slightly awkward.

"Sorry, I don't wanna―" Minho cleared his throat again. "Uh, Vince wants to talk to you, Tiago. Him, and the woman you punched."

― ➶ ―

The sky was darkening as they walked back to the Right Arm camp. Newt accompanied Tiago to Vince's tent, but Vince had made it clear that he wanted to speak to Tiago alone. The two boys didn't want to let each other go, now that they finally had an answer to everything they'd been feeling for each other.

"You sure you're gonna be alright?" Newt asked quietly, tugging lightly on Tiago's arm to gain the older boy's attention.

Tiago shook his head, ridding it of his thoughts. He looked down at Newt, at the concerned frown furrowing the younger boy's brows. He gave him a small smile, turned to stroke his face. He leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to Newt's cheek.

"I have to face her at some point," he murmured as he pulled away. "I also punched her, so the least I can do is apologize."

"That's not the answer I'm looking for," Newt said gently. "I asked if you're gonna be alright. You are seeing your mother, who you thought was dead. I don't imagine that's very easy."

Tiago shrugged halfheartedly. "I don't have much of a choice, do I?" He took a deep breath. "Better to get it all over with now than wait it out any longer." He smiled down at Newt again, then turned and walked into the tent.

It didn't look particularly spacious from the outside, but it felt more cramped on the inside than Tiago could've imagined. Any space inside the tent was taken up by something; cots, boxes, small cabinets full of supplies. There was a small table with three chairs at the opposite end of the tent. Vince occupied one seat, and Tiago saw his mother resting on one of the cots. Her face was slightly swollen, her left eye purple with bruise. Tiago's chest clenched tightly, anxiously. He suddenly wished Newt was at his side to calm him down.

"You injured one of our only doctors here," Vince said quietly. Tiago tore his gaze from his injured mother to look the older man in the eyes. "She told me your her son, that she deserved the hit. But now I wanna ask you, boy." Vince paused, his gaze going to Tiago's clenched fists. Tiago tried his best to relax himself, but he was nervous. Being in the same room as a woman he thought had been dead for years was unnerving. "Why'd you hit Belle?"

Tiago took a ragged breath, a last attempt at calming his nerves so he could try and speak without his voice wavering. It didn't seem to work, which was evident as soon as he opened his mouth.

"I didn't know she was your doctor," he began, "all I saw was a woman who should be dead. It was like seeing a ghost." He looked at his mother. "For what it's worth, I am sorry I injured you ... Mother." He winced after he said the word. It came up like bile from his throat. He regretted saying it instantly when he saw the hopeful look on his mother's face.

"Do you regret it?" Belle asked quietly. Vince glanced at her, opened his mouth, but she simply raised her hand and he closed it again. "You say you're sorry, but that doesn't mean you regret that it happened."

"I ..." Tiago didn't want to answer the question. His silence was enough for both of them.

"Vince, I'd like to talk to my son alone, please," Belle said, looking to Vince. The older man was watching Tiago now, who almost looked to be shaking.

"You alright, boy?"

Tiago blinked thrice, then nodded. "Fine. Still just a bit freaked out, I think."

"Vince," Belle said impatiently, "please."

"If he hurts you―"

"He won't," Belle said firmly. "I promise you."

Vince stood, moved to lean down and kiss Belle's cheek. He stood straight again and walked towards Tiago.

"If you lay one finger on her―"

"Vince!" Belle scolded. "He won't touch me, I swear."

"I'm not a violent person," Tiago jumped in quickly. "To be completely honest with you, I thought she wasn't real. And when she mentioned my father ..." He shook his head. "I only saw red. I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry I injured your doctor."

"You better be," Vince said coldly, glaring at Tiago. Their shoulders brushed as Vince left the tent.

Tiago was left alone with his mother, and he couldn't say the thought excited him. On instinct, Tiago glanced over his shoulder, hoping to see someone. He wasn't sure who; Brenda, Jorge, Newt. Anyone. He just needed reassurance.

"That boy, the one who ran after you," Belle said gently. Tiago's gaze fixated on her, his eyes narrowing slightly. "He cares for you, doesn't he?"

Tiago said nothing. He didn't see the point in discussing Newt. He didn't want to talk about Newt. He wanted to talk about them.

Belle frowned at his silence. "You're upset to see me?"

"I can't say I'm thrilled," Tiago said honestly. "I thought you were dead. Why ..." He trailed off. He saw his mother give a small smile, and he tilted his head in curiosity. "Why are you smiling?"

She shook her head quickly. "Nothing, I just―Your accent. I knew your American accent wasn't perfect, but it seems speaking to me has brought the Italian back." Tiago frowned. He had hardly noticed. "Why are you upset to see me?"

There were a few moments of silence. Tiago could think of a hundred reasons as to why he was upset to see her. She left him with his father and younger sister. The memories he had after her disappearance haunted him to this day, and she was alive the entire time.

"Why did you leave us?" Tiago finally asked, his voice small, eyes on the floor. Belle opened her mouth, but Tiago continued before she could speak. "Why didn't you come back? You left us with ... with him, and Marzia―" He cut himself off, his throat growing tight. He finally looked back at his mother, eyes hard, tears shining in them. "You didn't even say goodbye. And you never came back. Why?"

"It is so much harder to leave an abuser than it seems―"

"You had no problems leaving your own children with him!" Tiago cried out, finally losing his temper. "You left us with him, knowing that he would hurt us! Do you have any idea what he did to me? To Marzia?"

Belle broke away from her son's gaze, his eyes conveying more emotion than she'd seen from the boy in her life.

"I don't," she admitted, her voice barely audible. She had switched to Italian. Tiago's brain raced to keep up with her words as she spoke. "I don't have any idea, you're right. But I did go back, Santiago. I still do. I go back every single year, on the off chance that either of my children survived. And you did."

Tiago shook his head, the tears finally spilling from his eyes. "You were too late," he said coldly. He hoped his Italian was still recognizable to her. He hadn't spoken much of the language in six years; it had all but flowed out of him. "You didn't come back fast enough." He paused, clenching his eyes shut and trying to gather his thoughts. It didn't work well. "You said earlier that I looked just like him. My father. You know who didn't? Marzia. She looked like you. Do you know what he did to her for that? He beat her. Just because she looked like you." Belle's own tears formed as she listened to her son's pained voice. "He beat her, every day and every night. He hit me if I ever got involved. I tried ... so hard, for so long, but I was exhausted." He paused to lick his lips. "She was only eight when he finally killed her. Right in front of me. I remember it so clearly. She was screaming ... calling my name ... my eyes were closed ... and then it stopped."

"Stop," Belle said softly, her head hanging low.

"Her eyes were still open. I closed them when he left. And then I―" His throat seized up, closing tightly. He swallowed before continuing. "I-I found a gun, some sort of pistol ... and I hid in his room, waited for him to come home ... and I―"

"I said stop it!" Belle screamed, launching up from the cot. Tiago flinched, her loud voice unsettling him slightly. "Do you have any idea what I've put myself through thinking about the three of you?! The pain, the guilt that tortured me everywhere I went for years! I think about you and Marzia every single day, and I will keep thinking about you and Marzia every single day, for the rest of my life!"

"Marzia's gone!" Tiago yelled, his own voice thundering over hers. "You are the reason she's dead! You left, you left both of us behind, you are the reason he killed her! I understand you wanted to get out of an abusive marriage, but how dare you subject your own children to the rage you knew he was capable of! Marzia is dead because of you!" He paused to take a few needed deep breaths. His voice lowered. "And I will never forgive you for that. Ever."

It was silent again, aside from Tiago's harsh breathing. He could feel his hands shaking, the anxiety in him rising to unmatchable levels. He wanted to see Brenda. He knew she could make him feel better. The silence was harsh to Tiago's ears after all the shouting and screaming. It was unbearable.

"I've dealt with my guilt," Belle finally said, her voice calm but her eyes sharp. "I blamed myself for so long. I don't deserve that."

Tiago scoffed. "Don't deserve it, or don't want it? Because I can assure you that you deserve all the blame you get."

"I'm not going to listen to you demean me," Belle said, her voice hard. She was a completely different woman from the one Tiago had first spoken with in this tent. "I've made mistakes, and I've dealt with them in my own way. If you don't forgive me, that's fine. But I don't have to listen to you blame me for the rest of my life."

She walked toward him, eyes fixed on him, then moved past him and out of the tent. Tiago's eyes were still filled with tears. He blinked them out when she was gone, felt them drip down his face. He took ragged breaths through his mouth. He could feel his entire body shaking, but he couldn't tell whether it was from anger or anxiety. Tiago clenched his jaw tightly.

I will never forgive you.

― ➶ ―

this was a bit of a yikes chapter, but i definitely enjoyed writing it. i hope i didn't trigger anyone with what i wrote :( i also apologize if this is messy. i wrote it over several days and my thoughts were all over the place while writing lol. once again, it's not proofread, so sorry for any mistakes.

i hope you enjoyed!! this one was quite deep, but we learned some of tiago's past, which i think was very necessary for the beginning of newt and tiago's relationship. also yay they kissed!! we love having 2 completely opposite topics in a single chapter!

don't forget to vote and comment :) thanks for reading !