"So are you going to the basketball banquet next weekend?" I ask Coach Carson. He looks up from his paperwork.

"Yes. I'm going. Susan is making me. Kylie is coming too. She's leaving New York for it."

"I haven't seen Kylie in forever! Too bad I can't go."

"Why not?"

"My mom thinks it will add to much pressure on to me. Well dad thinks it. Mom just enforces it."

"Kylie needs a friend at the banquet. I'll talk to your parents and convince them."

"Thank you."

"I can't make promises though."

"I know."

"You should get back to the dorms. It's going to start raining soon."

I start my walk to the dorms. As I start walking I notice I have text messages from the girls. I open the group chat.

Loren: WTF!
Nicole: WTH!
Nicole: Your friends with Austin Lawson!
Loren: The dude everyone is expecting to go first overall in the draft next year.
Nicole: How?
Loren: Hello?
Nicole: Answer us!

Me: I'll explain. Don't tell the guys!

It's okay. Everything is okay. They just think I'm friends. They haven't figured out he's my brother yet.

I speed walk to the dorms. I can't let them tell the guys.

I run down the hall to my dorm and barge in.

"Please tell me the guys don't know!" I say as I barge in the dorm and catch my breath.

"I know!" Gabe says standing up from the couch. "Oh but I know so much more. I haven't told them care to explain." He says walking over towards me.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"What's your government name?" He ask trying to get me to spill

"What are you the police? You want my social security number too?"

"Taylor!" Loren yells.

"Just tell us what he knows."

"Fine." There's no way out of this. Gabe blocked the door so I can't get out. Maybe a window.

"Hi, I'm Taylor Rae Lawson. Austin Lawson isn't my friend he's my older brother. My father is Ryan Lawson he played basketball here and then played in the nba. My mother is Becca Lawson she was a track star here she broke records. Are we done here?"

Nicole and Loren just stand there shocked.

"You know that tattoo of Austin's that says 1 of 3. I have the same one except mine says 2 of 3. Seth is 3 of 3. We all got matching tattoos when Austin turned eighteen. Our parents signed off on it so we could get it. I'm the hidden Lawson. The Lawson kid that if you Google me only my baby pictures will pop up. Don't tell the rest of the guys. I'm keeping it a secret for personal reasons."

I tell them before walking to my room and shutting the door. I hear them whispering back and forth but I can't make out what they're saying.

Soon I hear the rest of the group enter the dorm. I'm on FaceTime with my brother.

"You look tired and worried. What's wrong?" Austin asked

"I'm not tired. Just worried. They know Austin. Well three of them."

"So? Tell the whole group."

"I can't. You know I can't."

"Yes you can." There's a knock on my door after he says that.

"I have to go." I tell him and then hang up. Before I open the door I place my family picture of all of us Lawson in my dresser drawer.

I open the door and see Chase standing there.

"Yes?"

"Can we talk?"

"About what?" I ask playing dumb hoping he will take the hint.

He doesn't. He just walks past me and looks in my room.

"You played volleyball?"

"Yes. I was nationally ranked."

"Why is there a cowboy hat on your wall?"

"I spent too much money on that for it to be on the floor in my closet. Nobody wears cowboy hats in North Carolina."

"Your favorite color is yellow?"

"Stop making small talk. Let's get this conversation over with."

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I'm fine, Chase."

"You're not. You can stop pretending."

"I'm not pretending I'm actually fine."

"The more you hide your feelings, the more they show. Taylor you're hiding because you want to be there for us. You're always there for us but we're never there for you. So let me be there."

"I can't. I physically and mentally can't bring myself to let anyone in anymore. Every time I get close to someone they disappear or use it for their benefit. It's easier for me to pretend nothing is bothering than to admit it's eating me alive." I feel the tears threatening to fall but I won't let them. I'm good at that too putting on a brave face and controlling my emotions.

"Well then if you don't want to talk about it. Come watch movies with us." Chase finally took the hint.

"I rather be alone in my room." I tell him as I lay back down on my bed.

"What are you doing?" He ask and sits next to me.

"I was about to start homework."

"What's something nobody knows about you?" Chase ask

"Oh so we're playing this game. There's a lot of things nobody knows about me and I'm going to keep it that way."

"I can play the piano."

"That's random but okay. I never expected you to say that. I just expected you to be a one hobby man. What else can you do? Sing? Dance? Are you the Jack of all cards?"

"I can't sing. I can dance in the kitchen with my momma. She'd always cook dinner when I was younger and play country music. She'd get me and my siblings to dance around the kitchen with her. My grandma taught me how to play the piano. She can sing. I can't." That makes me smile. Chase Jackson is a family man.

"I played all the sports in the book. Yes I did football I was the kicker on an all boys team. I also tired golf, cheerleading, gymnastics, lacrosse, soccer, hockey, softball, swim team, and many more before I decided volleyball was for me. When I was in 1st grade I broke my leg. I like country music but Post Malone has some great songs too. I hate Beyoncé, Garth Brooks, Jason Aldean, Dan and Shay, and Hank Williams Jr. My favorite reality tv shows are Duck Dynast and Nightwatch, New Orleans. I can't watch the Housewives. My favorite movies are Scream, Split, Remember the Titans, and 8 Seconds. I want to be an athletic trainer. I get to meet with some of the Coach's tomorrow to see if they have an opening." I just told him a lot about me so maybe he will stop asking questions.

"That was a lot of information. You want to be an athletic trainer?"

"Yeah, I talked to Coach Carson about it. He wants me to help out the athletic trainer for the basketball team. Each sport has there own athletic trainer that they pay. Then there's students who are just learning and that get to help out. I want to be one of them but they only use a selective few. Coach Carson said y'all athletic trainer would love to have me. I just have to make sure I'm not needed to help the other sports."

"I would love to have you as our athletic trainer in training."

My phone dings with a text message. I walk over to my desk and look at it.

Coach C: Start shopping for a dress. I convinced your parents. You can come.

Austin: Mom said you'll be going to the Banquet with the Carson's. Guess who's the guest speaker? Yeah, me. Can't wait to see my baby sista!

I hate when he calls me his "sista"

I'm his sister not sista.

"What's got you with a smile on your face?" Chase asked

"I'm going to banquet with the Carson's and my brother just called me sista." I say with a smile on my face.

"I'll be there too. We don't have a game and my dad is being honor by the Lawson's."

The Lawson's?! So my parents will be there?

______

Currently re-wrote this while watching the LSU vs. Georgia baseball game. Geaux Tigers! And in the middle of a thunderstorm.

Welcome to Louisiana! Where sports is life and the weather is bipolar. I seat the sun was just out. The weather app says sunshine but it's so dark outside.

5/25/21

Just so y'all know. I've been updating everyday because starting June 6 to June 12 I'll be at the beach. And won't update at all. I can't wait to be in the ocean! Y'all have no clue how much I need and want to be there now!

Not edited!