Dani~

"Where's the boyfriend right now?" Lauren asks me as we sat in a coffee shop before our match tonight.

"Honestly, I don't know. Somewhere on the west coast."

"You don't know?"

"I think it's San Francisco but it could be San Diego."

Her and Mikayla share a concerned look. "You don't talk to him every day?"

I shake my head, "No."

"Why? Is something wrong?"

"No. We found that if we talk every day, our conversations tend to be boring. I'm not updating him on my life constantly and he's not doing that either. When we call at the end of each week, our conversations are deeper and not boring. He watches our matches and I watch his games when I can."

"That's some real adult shit."

"It's what works for us."

"Seems like you guys got it figured out."

I nod, "I miss him but nothing's going to change that. I can't fly back to the states and he can't fly over here. I also don't know why you two let me fight it for so long."

"Wanted to see how long it would take you to realize how happy he makes you."

"Well, a heads up would've been nice."

They laugh as we start to walk the streets of London toward our hotel. I've always enjoyed London when we've come here. There's never enough time to see it all.

"You two ready for tonight?"

Lauren and I look at each other and smile, "Born ready."

"I need you all to trust yourselves and each other tonight. I know Japan is good. They always have been. You are better. Trust in yourself. Trust your teammates. This is our first big tournament of the season. You've done amazing in Toronto and Mexico City. Keep it up. Your coaching staff believes in you," Coach Sheffield tells us as we sit against the lockers in our very small locker room before our match.

He looks toward Mikayla and I, motioning for us to come up to him. "You heard Coach. I trust you all. Let's go win this damn tournament and keep our title known."

We break it down quickly and head out to the court. We've already warmed up and are just waiting for the refs to get set up. We are not the first team to play today and they had a break before our match at 8. Hopefully, we'll be done in under two hours because I am tired.

Megan gets the ball and serves it over. The ball stays in play for a while before Devyn and I can get a good block in. They're going to play hard tonight. But guess what? So are we.

After every point, we meet in the middle of our side of the court and repeat what our coach said to us. "Trust." I tag out for Claire after serving a few times

As I pass by our assistant coaches to go stand with the other girls, they have me sit with them. "Sheffield and I were talking, how comfortable do you feel about doing fast-attacks?" our assistant coach, Erin, asks me.

"I haven't done one in over a year."

"You don't want to try it?"

"I don't think it's a good idea. But if you want me to, I will. It's just the fact that I haven't even done one in practice."

"You remember how to do it?"

"Well, yes."

"We're only bringing it up right now because we want this match to go just as fast as you do. We're not going to make you do it just keep it in mind."

"I'll talk to Megan when I go back in."

It's not that I don't think I could do it. I just think it's a bit too soon. I haven't had time to practice it. I wait to go back in for Claire and wait to talk to Megan. She'd go along with this plan only if I am okay with it.

Her serve goes into the net and we meet in the middle. "Are you okay with fast attacks?"

"Are you okay with doing it?"

"I don't know. If I fuck it up, it's on me. Just be ready. I'll be ready."

I go over to my spot and look back at Mik, "Are you sure about this?"

"Nope."

When Lauren passes the ball to me after Megan had the first touch. I don't jump. I simply hit the ball over to get it back in-system. I think I'm going to go for it. We'll see what happens. My knee is pretty protected with the taping done by our athletic trainer, the compressed knee brace, and my knee pads. It'll be fine.

Megan and I lock eyes and I nod. She knows. Mik passes it to Megan and she backsets it to me as I quickly jump and make contact with the ball. Hopefully, that worked. I'm not looking for a kill. Just a good landing and the ball to be in bounds.

I land after the ball was dug up by their libero. That felt damn good. Devyn and Carly go up to block as the ball was coming over as I cover the ball as it went by their hands. Like I said, they're going to give us a run for our money. I layout for the ball and somehow get the ball up.

I'm gonna be so tired tomorrow. I get up and cover the same spot in case Japan decides to block. Carly finds a spot in the deep corner and Japan watches it fall as they rushed to it.

We keep going back and forth with Japan until I'm over on the right-side and Devyn serves it. We wait for the ball to come back over. Megan backsets it to me and I hit the ball down the line, staring at where it landed, smirking because it feels this good to be back. We go to meet in the middle but the ref stops me, "Hey, 2!"

I turn around and point to myself. She nods and waves me over to her. I look back at the girls and my coach but walk over to her. She leans down to my ear, "This is your only warning to stop taunting."

Huh? Don't argue with the ref. You don't want to be taken out. "Right, sorry," I say, backing away from her. Didn't know I couldn't look down at the floor. The whistle blows and I look over to my coach. His hands are in a formation of a 'T' for a timeout. We go over to him and he holds his hands out clearly confused.

"What was that?"

"Taunting the floor apparently."

Mik and Lauren start to laugh which prompts me to hold back any laughs. "Well, I guess don't taunt the floor anymore."

"You got it."

"Hey, how'd that feel?"

"Pretty good. I can't make it a regular thing yet but it felt good."

As I dry my face with a towel my phone starts to ring. It's most likely Christian. I bring my phone into the bathroom so I can finish getting ready for bed. We went to five sets with Japan. We won but I'm tired and my body hurts.

I set him up against the mirror so he can watch me. "Tough one today?"

I nod as I brush out my hair, "Yeah. Kept our winning streak alive though."

"Still undefeated?"

"Yep. Trying to keep it that way. When does your game start?"

"A couple of hours."

"I'll have to watch the highlight reel tomorrow morning. I would stay up and watch but that won't be a good idea if I'm tired tomorrow morning."

He chuckles, "Yeah, probably not the best idea. You had a good game from what I saw."

"Average."

"What was the whole thing with the ref about?"

I laugh to myself, "Oh, you know taunting the floor gets me a warning."

"The floor? Seriously?"

"Yes. I went back and looked at the film and I was deadass looking at the floor. You got yourself a badass girlfriend. She gets warnings for looking at the floor."

I turn the lights off and get into bed. He laughs, "I already knew that."

I find his sweatshirt underneath one of the pillows and hold it close to me. I'm deprived of his touch. Not the intimate touch. The physical touch. Being hugged. Or when his hand rests on my hip while we sleep. Or when he lays his head in my lap and I play with his hair. That cute shit. That's what I miss. "When are you back in the states?"

"Not for another month."

He sighs. We have physically seen each other for five weeks. I can tell he's missing me just as much as I am missing him. "I know. We'll be in LA. Your mom said she'd try to come to a match so we could see each other."

"She misses having you around."

I nod. "Where are you guys?"

"San Diego." I knew it was one of those west coast cities.

"So that means you won't be over there when I'm there?"

"Right."

"Well, I'll be in Chicago at the end of July."

"I like hearing that. I'll have to make it down."

July 2022

Mikayla picks some food off of my plate as we sit around in our clubhouse waiting to play. "Get your own food."

"I didn't have room on my plate."

I roll my eyes and keep eating the food provided for us. "I feel so bad for her," I hear from across the room. It's some of the rookies and some of the veteran girls talking. Who are we feeling bad for?

"Who are they talking about?" I ask as Lauren sits next to us.

"No one," Mik answers quickly, "Just eat."

"Mikayla. What do I not know about?"

"Nothing. Everything's fine."

Something tells me it's about me. I don't know what the fuck is happening. I don't know what could be wrong. I turn to the group of girls across the room, "Who are we feeling bad for?"

They all look at me and stop talking. Okay, it's me. "Seriously, you guys. What is happening that I don't know about? Did someone die and I happen to not know?"

"No, it's not that."

"Mikayla. Tell me."

Her and Lauren look at each other. How does everyone know except for me? Nobody answers me so I go for my phone. I take my phone out of my bag and Mikayla quickly grabs it, "No. Don't look at that. Just come with us."

Her and Lauren take me out to the hallway. "What the hell is happening?"

Mik sighs, shrugging, "There's this photo of Christian going around."

"Okay? And?"

"You're not getting it. It's not good. When's the last time you talked to him?"

"Last night after our game. He was just getting up for the day. Is something wrong?"

Lauren hands me her phone, "TMZ picked it up."

I take it from her and look at her phone. There's a few pictures of Christian out for lunch with another person. Another girl. A blonde girl, incredibly done-up, and wearing designer merchandise. The complete total opposite of me. If I'm being honest and can remember right, I think that's the girl that told him not to talk to me last summer. "You guys believe everything TMZ posts? Half of the shit they post is fake."

"I don't know Dani. It looks pretty real to us. I don't know how you didn't see this. The whole team knew about it and we figured you were playing off until I realized you weren't."

I swallow the lump in my throat, "Can I have my phone back?'

She hands me my phone back and I walk away. "Where are you going?"

"I don't know yet. Text me when we need to be out there for warm-ups."

He wouldn't do this. I can't see him doing something like this. It's not like him. I told him I didn't want to get hurt. I found a small, empty room and sit on the floor. I look at his contact. I know he's asleep right now. Even if I did call, he probably won't answer.

I call him and listen to the dial tone. His voicemail message plays and I decide to leave one. "Hey, look, I know you're asleep. We have a match in a couple of hours. When you wake up, I'll probably be playing. Um, but, Christian, I told you I didn't want to get hurt. I made sure you knew that. I trusted you. I'm sorry if I wasn't enough. I'm sorry I have a crazy schedule where we don't get to see each other as often as we would like. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, just look at Instagram. TMZ posted a picture and I know not to trust everything they post but it looked pretty real to me. I'm not going to be a second option. I'm just not. I guess call me when you can or don't. I don't know anymore. I don't want to jump to conclusions but I don't know if I can stop myself from doing that right now."

I end the call. I don't know where this puts us. Our next stop is Chicago. We're in Tokyo right now. We were supposed to see each other in the next week.

Mik: Coach wants us to start warming up now

God, I can't even get ten minutes to cool off. If anything, I'm about to have the best match of my life.

I head back to the clubhouse and it's oddly silent in there when I walk in. I look around at everyone, "You don't have to stare. Just move on."

I take my AirPods with me as I head out to the court. I find a ball and wall to warm up by myself.

My coach stands against the wall, watching me. I take an AirPod out and stop what I'm doing. "What?"

"What's up with you?"

I shrug, "Nothing. I'm fine."

"Are you?"

"Yep. Never better."

I can tell he doesn't believe me but he walks away from me. I keep doing what I was doing up until I can't anymore and I have to move on.

We meet in the middle of our side of the court and I look around at all of them as our coaches talk off to the side. "This is going to come off really cocky, but I need you guys to trust me, okay?"

They nod, "Just get me the ball."

Some of the girls look stunned that I said that. I'm not going to be a ball hog but if there is an opportunity for me to have it, I want it. "You guys heard Cap. Get her the ball," Mik says, backing me up.

Mik and Lauren stay back with me as the other three get onto the court. "Are you okay?"

I shrug, "We'll see. I just want to win tonight. That's all."

"We'll get you the ball. We'll get you out of here as fast as we can."

I nod, going up to the net. The faster we play, the faster we get out of here.