I read this thing from tumblr by artemxmendacium, runnerfivestillalive, and secretsaway and needed to make a story out of it... It's highly illogical that anything like this would ever happen, but this is fanfiction - anything is possible! *insert Spongebob meme*

Post Infinity War

Once everything had slowed down after Thanos, after the dust had settled (no pun intended) and everything was starting to go back to normal, Peter realized that he had been staying in the same building as Earth's first evil alien invader. But Loki wasn't trying to take over Earth again it seemed? At least not openly. Mr. Thor seemed to think pretty highly of his brother, so maybe he turned good?

Upon closer look, Loki seemed pretty cool. He was quiet and almost shy around the Avengers and other heroes that were staying in the compound, but Peter could hear Thor laughing at some of the jokes the trickster told in private. The boy found himself wanting to meet Loki more and more...

It wasn't until a week later that fate saw fit to let the two together. Peter had been working with Tony in the labs when he'd gotten hungry. Tony sent him on a food run while the man went to get some blueprints he left in his car.

Entering the kitchen area, Peter hesitated slightly at seeing Loki leaning against a counter and drinking coffee. Loki seemed to be at peace with his eyes closed and mug held with both hands, Peter really didn't want to disturb him... but his stomach was growling and he couldn't resist the calling for food.

"H-Hi, Mr. god Loki sir," Peter greeted as he walked in. Loki's eyes opened, green orbs following the youth around.

"Greetings, boy," Was the somewhat cold reply.

Peter frowned. "Man. I'm Spider-Man, so I'm not a kid anymore."

Loki looked him up and down, holding his mug higher as he failed to hide a smirk. "If you say so."

The not-child nodded determinedly as he made his way over to the cabinets, starting to pull out chips and other junk foods. Silence filled the kitchen as the two minded their own business, though Peter still had something on his mind.

"So... aren't you like... a bad guy?" Peter asked warily, not wanting to offend the god as he balanced the overloaded bags in his arms.

Loki simply shrugged as he drank his coffee, "It varies from moment to moment."

The enhanced boy nodded slowly in thought, "So like... on a scale from one to ten -ten being the worst evil imaginable, like... killing puppies, and one being 'I'll spit on your hot dog'; Where are you right now?"

Loki's eyebrows pushed together in slight confusion and wonderment, having never thought of things like this before. "Maybe a three?"

Peter gave a smile and nodded again. "Cool. Lemme know if it gets above a six."

"Peter!" Tony called, waving some blue papers in the air from the doorway, "Do you want to work on these designs or not? If you don't hurry, I'll do it without you...!"

The boy's eyes brightened as he started running to his mentor. "Yeah! I'll be right there!" He looked over his shoulder and smiled at Loki, "It was nice meeting you!"

Loki watched him leave, his expression giving away nothing until he was sure that he was alone in the room once again. A smirk slowly made its way on his face as he chuckled, "I like him."

It was a joke, Loki knew that. He wasn't meant to take the boy up on it. But living around such creatures as Midgardians was very stressful for him and his inability to do what he wanted. He tried to control himself, to be good around the weak humans, but it was too much sometimes.

And one day, at a party filled with idiotic people, Loki had sought out a small brunette that was by the food table.

"Six," He muttered, swiping a shrimp away from the youth. Peter looked up at him, his eyes shining in understanding as he set his plate down and pulled Loki away from the crowd.

Loki didn't talk, even when Peter offered to listen to his problems. They sat on the roof of the Compound for a while before Peter started to tell tales of his school life.

It was boring. Absolutely dreadful; Loki was worried that his ears would bleed halfway through Peters's speech. But, against all odds, it worked. Loki was calmer than before and no longer felt like stabbing the flirtatious blonde from the party.

It continued for a while, Loki would mutter six or seven on some of his bad days and Peter would take him somewhere to clear his mind. It started out as the roof for the longest time, but they both grew bored of that pretty quickly. So Peter decided to pick a new spot around NYC for each new 'therapy session'.

"This looks vile..."

Peter laughed as he took a bite from his hot dog, "it's the New Yorker way! You can't stay in New York anymore if you don't try it!"

"Do you promise?" Loki smirked at the boy, then scowled and turned away. "Please don't talk with food in your mouth, that's even worse than this smell."

The boy lunged his arm out, attempting to stuff the food into Loki's face, but the god quickly moved away and took a bite from his own free will.

"Well?"

"This is horrible...!" Loki squinted down at the hot dog in his hands, his nose crinkled in disgust. "How can you eat this?"

"Hey, don't hate it just because you don't like it! This is the food of my people!"

Loki rolled his eyes as he stared out over the skyline of New York. Him and Peter sat in silence for a while simply enjoying the quiet presence of the other, the comfort they offered each other.

There was a rustling of paper as Loki took another bite of his food. Peter turned to smirk at him, meeting a cold glare from Loki.

"Don't even start. I hadn't eaten all day, the risk of poisoning is better than starvation."

"Whatever you say, Mr. Loki," The kid teased, knowing for a fact that Loki had eaten earlier.

Loki, against his will, found himself getting attached to the boy. It was like he had a younger brother now, though some could argue that Thor acted like a child at times too. But Loki didn't feel the need to stab this brother, not even to slightly mime him. Which was weird.

Peter helped the Asgardian a lot in coping with his new 'good guy' habits. He gave Loki reasons why it was good to help people, why it was better to have people singing your praises of their free will than by force. Loki had to admit... it did sound nice.

Though, there were times when his temper really struggled to comply with the laws...

"She just hit the child again, even after I told her to stop!" Loki yelled, glaring down into the streets as his mind replayed the days events.

"Yeah... it's against the law to abuse children here, but a lot of adults still do it," Peter sighed. "The world would definitely be better off without them."

"I'm actually glad you said that, because-"

A loud crash cut Loki off, the two males turned to look at the door of the abandoned building they were in, Peter quickly pulling his mask back down. "Well look what we have here!" Someone shouted, his voice rough and filled with malice.

Peter felt his senses go off, the shadows in the building now alive with movement. They were surrounded.

"A spider and snake hanging out in our building!" Another voice chimed in, sounding much like the first.

"Your building?" Loki asked, glancing around, "your name isn't on it. But my, you really outdid yourselves in decorating."

Peter snorted, trying to cover it up with a cough. He really loved this side of Mr. Loki.

"You think that's funny, Spider-Boy?"

"Just a bit, yeah," Peter grinned behind his mask, tilting his head to the side with his hands on his hips. "I could recommend a few things though, this place is really dreary. Maybe set up a TV area, some furniture- ooh! A fireplace would be perfect!"

There was suddenly a loud bang filling the air and assaulting Peter's sensitive ears. He flinched back slightly but realized a second too late that he was just shot at and should have moved completely out of the way.

The bullet pierced his shoulder, sending him onto his back on the dirty floor. Oh, that hurt even more...

"Peter!"

Loki looked back at the young boy that was whimpering on the ground while clutching his shoulder, blood already starting to pool around him. He looked back at the men that pointlessly tried hiding in the shadows, frowning deeply as they laughed at Peter's weak form.

Loki's already bad day just took a turn for the worse, but he wasn't even going to try and stop it this time. He sent a quick glance to Peter as he shouted, "Child, it's a ten!"

Peter lifted his head up slightly, his eyes widening as he started to get up. "Oh sh- Evacuate the city! Mayday! Mayday! Get the civilians to safety!"

The bad guys all seemed confused as they glanced to each other, none of them expecting the sudden attack from a very angry god of mischief. Peter watched, flinching now and then as he imagined the pain those men must be going through. They shot him, but he still felt sorry for them...

They were all on the floor in a matter of seconds, various groans of pain leaving them as they tried to crawl away only to be met with Loki's foot on their backs.

"Geez, Mr. Loki, I didn't know you cared so much about me," Peter smirked, overcoming his initial shock of the beat down while trying to ignore the burning pain in his shoulder.

"Be quiet, child," Loki murmured as he knelt next to the boy. "Let me see your shoulder, I have to make sure it didn't hit anything."

Peter stayed silent, a weak smirk on his lips as Loki felt around his shoulder. When the trickster saw the expression, he quickly looked back down at the wound, "Don't give me that look. We both know that Stark won't be happy with either of us if you bleed out."

Peter suddenly remembered about Mr. Stark's rule of 'no getting shot' and groaned, letting his head fall back against the ground. "Dammit... And Karen will probably upload this into his data."

Loki, even without seeing the boy's face, felt his distress. Stark was rather prone to panicking when Peter was hurt, especially after the Snap. He didn't blame the child for wanting to hide this information. Though, Loki knew that humans were weak and couldn't handle as much as one might think they could.

"Come, we should bring you back." Loki helped Peter stand and started their slow pace back to the compound. Imagine the cabby's surprise when the god of mischief and Spider-Man stepped inside; Peter actually laughed as the man offered to take them to the hospital or to get something to eat. Loki, having just started to come down from his earlier rage, felt his annoyance building again.

"Five..." Loki whispered as the cab driver tried taking a picture while still driving.

Peter chuckled as he raised his not-bloodstained hand up to gain the excited driver's attention, "Sorry, but could you let us off here? Someone's coming to take us the rest of the way."

Lots of convincing later, the taxi driver was still alive and on his way.

"I can't believe you almost pulled a knife on him." Peter scowled as he leaned against a tree, his hand holding his wound.

"He wouldn't leave us, I had to find some way to make him go away," Loki shrugged, putting his knife back in his sleeve.

"Yeah, but-"

"What's more, why are you sitting on the ground? We should be moving, it's still a long walk."

Peter blinked up at him and tilted his head, "Mr. Stark's bringing the car to get us."

Loki felt the urge to groan as he looked down the road, already hearing the roar of an engine. He would have hoped to have a little more time to collect himself...

"Hey, Mr. Loki?"

"What is it?"

It was silent for a while, Loki raising an eyebrow as he turned to look at the kid. His head was down, eyes cast on his lap as he let his hands drop. "Thank you for earlier, it meant a lot to know that you care."

Loki opened his mouth, the words stuck in his throat as he tried to think of what to say. He closed his mouth and looked around, seeing Tony's car almost there. He went to help Peter stand once again, finally giving his answer just as the car pulled up.

"Anytime, Peter."