Keith sat next to him. "Why did you stay up all night training?"

"I felt-" Lance shifted awkwardly he closeness suddenly feeling suffocating. "I felt weak. Like I let the team down. Like I wasn't enough," his voice trailed off as he blinked away his father's snarl. Matt flinched reaching out to hold pidges hand.

"Why do you still feel that way?" Pidge asked placing a small clamp on his finger.

"What is that?" Hunk asked tapping it as he sat across from his best friend.

"A lie detector. To tell us if he's hiding something," tiny shiro cooed in awe of the piece of machinery.

"You don't trust me?" lances voice cracked. Hurt flooded his eyes.

"Lance I trust you with my life. I just want the whole truth. You have a slight, tendency to tell the lighter sides of things." she told him softly.

He nodded, "Ok. I understand."

"Why do you still feel that way? Is it us?"she prodded again.

"It's not you guys. I just see that all of you are so special and unique. Valuable to the team. Then there's me..." a red light clicked to life on his finger tip.

"That's not the whole truth." Shiro breathed.

Double coughed giving Lance a pointed look. "Shiro should know. Tell him like you told me."

"At the garrison everybody told me that i wasn't going to be a pilot. That i needed to be like Keith. After we came up here and we were able to form voltron Lance still wasn't enough." he took a deep breath running his fingers through his drying curls.

"Every training period, after every mission in some way i was compared to Keith. Shiro you were my idol when we first got up here all you did was spend time with Keith and the others. I felt alone because you paid me no mind unless i was doing something wrong."

"Lance I'm sorry. I never meant for you to-" Shiro uncrossed his arms in shock. His apology cut off immediantly.

"Please dont apologize it's alright really. Who's up next? Pidge and Keith asked theirs already."

Hunk held up his hand, "Yesterday. Double said that you were afraid of yourself. What did he mean?" he kept his voice soft as he looked at his best friend.

"In my head i was always told I'd never be good enough. I had grown up hearing it from everyone. My dad, my teachers, someone i had trusted." he rubbed his eyes.

"My heart absorbed every word. Then to uhm... Get up here and have jokes being made when i mess up. My heart took that in too. My notebook, the one you destroyed. The "empty pages," it's invisible ink. I have a black light pen in my jacket pocket. Those pages were filled with logs of every time i had messed up. Of when those close to me left me." he let out a long heavy sigh pulling away from those near him.

"As for being afraid. Double can you uh help me out here."

Double sat forward and cleared his throat rolling up his sleeves to clean his glasses. "I- we used to have our father carve his words into our bodies. Eventually we learned to not be phased by our own blood. One night after another day of the usual hate mail and teasing I thought about ending it but I chose to seek help instead. My guess is that your lance was the reality where we decided to end it."

"Seeing him again may have brought up the things we've done in the past. The memories," both boys had distant eyes as the scenes flashed over their brains.

"I stopped you that day," Hunk whispered realization dawning his face.

"What did he try to do?" Little Shiro piped.

"One night i notcied Lance wasn't in our room. He never had left with out telling me first. So i went to look for him, he was on the roof crying. I just remember coming up and calling his name. It was pooring outside, the rain was slowing turning to snow. He dropped something over the edge of the building before i dragged him back inside."

Double reached over to touch lance a gasp sounding as his fingers connected with Lances shoulder. His memories became a sick and twisted movie for them both to watch.

"Lance!" Keiths looked over at his boyfriend in shock."What we're you holding?" But they both still had blank stares.

Double let out a wheeze tears welling up in his blue eyes. "Lance?" D. Keith called again tugging on his sleeve gently separating the two. The glasses fell to the floor as the room filled with the uneven breathing of the tan boys.

"I saw it." Double whispered. "I saw that night."

Lance whimpered his arms wrapping protectively around his sides.

"What was he holding." Keith asked again.

"He-" double couldn't say it. His hands signed slowly. "He had a bottle of pills. His last wish was to be forgotten..."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." he mumbled over and over his hands snaking their way into the curls on his shaking head. The others sat stunned as the Lances came to their senses standing quickly.

"I'm so-"

"Don't finish that sentence," his friends told him softly sitting them both back down.

"Thats enough questions for today. Lets try and get home," Shiro pulled Lance into a hug before allowing both sets of red and blue paladins to move somewhere private.

------

Lance refused to look up from the ground. Double sniffled into his keiths jacket.

"Lance, look at me." Keith reached for his boyfriends hands and turned his chin up.

"Keith, I-"

"If you say you're sorry i Will tell dad. Just please promise me you wont leave me."

"I promise." they pulled each other into a hug as Lance allowed his breathing to level out. The four paladins then returned to the common area when a portal sat waiting.

Coran handed Lance a small gray box. "Just turn the dial a tick and it changes the location. I wish you luck paladins," with that they said their good byes and stumbled through.

"Let's go home guys, Let's go home."