JJ was fine. JJ was always fine. Going through abuse as a child? She was over that now, it was the past. Seeing her Dad crushed by a fire truck? As soon as she saw him walking again she was okay. Surviving a tsunami? She lived. It was fine.

But was it? Or was the tsunami the final straw leading to a breakdown?

Because the girl that woke up covered in sweat and tears wasn't JJ. The one who had a panic attack whenever she was in the shower too long. That wasn't JJ. It was Juniper. The lonely traumatised Juniper.

But she was fine. She definitely wasn't having a mini breakdown in front of her boyfriend.

"I can't sleep, because if I sleep then I'll think of the tsunami and I'm sick of thinking about the fucking tsunami." She paced the room, tugging on her hair.

"JJ, you need to sleep." Ashton walked up to her slowly, taking her hands away from her hair. "No. I need to stay awake, I need to stay awake." She whispered to herself.

"And I can't go to my Dad, because he has so much to worry about right now. And I can't go to Sophia because she'll go to my Dad and Eddie. And I can't go to any of the team because they'll think I'm crazy."

She wasn't talking to Ashton anymore, she was talking to herself. "And I'm not crazy."

Ashton stared at her for a moment. He didn't know what to do. They were sixteen for god sake! Did he call Buck? Sophia? 911?

He didn't know how to help the girl in front of him. She'd been through so much in her short time on earth. And it was too much for him.

He didn't think he wanted to help her. It sounded cruel, but he was her boyfriend. Not her therapist. And that's clearly what she needed in this situation. "JJ-"

"I'm fine, Ash. Really, I am. I just need something to stay awake." Now that. That was something he could help with.

"I know what can help you."

"Dad! I'm home!" JJ walked through the front door, kicking her shoes off before hanging her jacket up.

She quickly rushed up the stairs and threw her bag in her room, as she didn't want her Dad seeing what was inside of it.

A bottle of pills rolled out of her bag as it hit her bed, almost mocking her. If they could talk, she'd think they'd say something like "Ha! You're so low in your life that you've resorted to using me!"

She quickly shut her door, heading into the kitchen where she could hear her father. "Hey." She sat on the stool in front of him while he mixed up the pasta sauce.

"Hi, sweetheart." He smiled at her, but it didn't reach his eyes, and neither did hers.

Buck and JJ were at opposite ends of a sinking ship. They were both dealing with so much, that they couldn't reach out and save each other.

Which is why Buck knew this conversation wasn't going to end well. JJ had been short-tempered lately, and he was mentally preparing himself for the argument they were about to have.

"So.. did you talk to the chief? Are you allowed back?" She took a can of lemonade out of the fridge before sitting back down. "About that.." He sighed.

"I need to tell you something." She waved her hand, signalling for him to continue as she sipped on her drink.

"I..." He took a deep breath. "I filed a lawsuit. I'm suing the city. The department. And... And Bobby."

JJ choked on her drink, coughing slightly before looking up at her father. "What the fuck do you mean you filed a lawsuit!?"

JJ's breath got caught in her throat. He's what? She knew her father wanted his job back, and she would support him. But a lawsuit? Would the team forgive him for that? Would Eddie forgive him?

"I need my job back." He emphasised his words, desperately wanting someone to understand. "I know, Dad." She sighed. "But a fucking lawsuit?" She tried not to snap at him.

"I did what I had to do. Firefighting is my life. Apart from you, it's all I have." He got quieter with his words.

But that was when JJ lost it.

"No, it's not!" She yelled, standing up quickly, the stool falling on the ground from the force. "You have the team! They'd never leave you. You have Maddie!" Buck shook his head.

"You have Eddie, Chris and Sophia!" Hearing those names made tears gather in Buck's eyes.

JJ shook her head as she took a step back, waving her arms around frantically. If Buck thought that she was all he had, then he was being ridiculous.

The 118 wouldn't function properly without Buck. Maddie would be lost if she didn't have her brother by her side. The Diaz's couldn't survive without Buck. They were a family.

So JJ was angry to hear that he thought that being a firefighter was all he had.

"Don't yell at me!" He yelled back, but this time, she didn't flinch like she did in the hospital, she yelled right back. "It's the only way you'll listen! If you think that you have nothing without firefighting then you're delusional." She let out a heavy breath.

"I need to call Sophia." JJ picked up the stool, getting ready to walk away. "You... You can't." She stopped in her place. "What?" She spun around quickly, her eyes going cold.

"Why?" Her arms fell at her side. "While the lawsuit is in progress, we can't talk to any members of the 118 and their families."

Buck waited a good minute for her reaction, but she just stood there. Anger crawled its way into her chest, and that was when she snapped.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Buck didn't think he'd ever heard his daughter scream so loudly. Her voice was raw as tears gathered in her eyes.

JJ was prepared to have her father's back when it came to getting her job back. But this? This was too much.

"You're joking." Buck shook his head.

JJ let out a frustrated scream, pulling on her hair the way she had earlier. "JJ..." He took a step forward, reaching out to touch her arm. "Don't! Don't touch me." She shrunk back.

"You.." She choked out a sob. "Do you realise what you've done?"

Buck was just realising how much this would affect everyone. He was so angry when he had spoken to that lawyer, and he filed the lawsuit with only his job in mind. He didn't think about the family he had.

He didn't think about JJ.

He didn't realise that he'd just taken her family away by signing a piece of paper. He'd separated JJ from her best friend. The girl who had saved his daughter's life.

God. What had he done?

"You took my family away." She whispered, but he heard her, and he swore he heard his heartbreak in the process. "Do they know?"

"Yes." She laughed, but it sounded more like a sob. "I'm the last to know! That's funny." The sarcasm stung.

"JJ.." He tried to step forward again, but she held her hand out. "I can't. Just leave me alone."

JJ ran up to her room, slamming the door behind her. She grabbed her phone out of her pocket and pulled open her messages. As expected, she had none.

She knew she shouldn't, but she opened Sophia's chat and typed out a message.

'I love you, and I'm sorry. Tell Chris the same.'

She sent. Sophia's text came back seconds later.

'You have no reason to be sorry, and we love you too.'

Knowing there was a chance she wouldn't be able to talk to her best friend for a while was enough for her to throw her phone across the room in a fit of rage.

It hit the wall and fell to the floor with a thud, surprisingly not breaking, which just angered her more.

She didn't know how long this stupid lawsuit would last. But even if Buck got his job back next week, or in a month. There's a chance that nobody would forgive him.

And then they'd both lose their family. JJ would lose everyone she'd ever loved.

At that moment, she wasn't JJ. She was Juniper all over again. And she didn't know if anything would ever be the same again. 

LUCE SPEAKS //

this chapter honestly wasn't as long as i wanted it to be, but im also kind of proud of it.

ashton.. what did you give her?????

also, before anyone comes at me, this is not buck hate!!!!!!! i 100% understood why he sued in the show, but for the fic and with what jj is dealing with right now, the only emotions she's letting herself feel is anger. and wouldn't you be upset if ur dad took ur family from you???

i'd apologise for the angst but im not sorry

enjoy 🙏🏼