Ch 13: Insomnia

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Levi watched the entire scene from the distance. It was one of these times when he didn't know what to do. He didn't even know whether he should intervene. So he just stood there, watching Hanji losing control over herself. I must help her.

But he couldn't move. Something was making him stay there to see how will she act. It was her decision, rational or irrational. He knew that.

Levi knew about her rage, something she was holding inside herself and couldn't get rid off it. Her mind was often full of rage so devious it couldn't match thousands of wild and starving titans.

But most importantly, she suffered. He knew she suffered because of that. He never find out what caused such aggressive cluster inside her or was it just in her nature. Whatever was the reason, it was destroying her. And that was hard to watch.

When Hanji started laughing, she calmed down and Levi went toward her. He was soon standing behind her. She didn't have to look to know it was him.

"I can't believe I forgot this feeling..."

She spoke with tired and exhausted voice, gazing at her legs. Levi was silent.

"I haven't felt like this since my first time outside the walls."

She continued and stopped for a few seconds before she let out a mere whisper whose shadow was fear.

"It's pretty scary..."

Levi now sat next to her, letting his legs hang. His blue-grey eyes lowered at the cloth that covered the titan.

"I feel it too."

Levi said finally, breaking the silence. He did feel that, the fear of what they might find out. He felt it in his bones, that they don't know anything.

"We keep on listing the incomprehensible events without solving them...We will lose ourselves. Humanity will be lost because we weren't able to even find out why is all of this happening."

Hanji said, slightly terrified of the truth that fell off her tongue. It made even Levi sweat and feel the agony caused by fear of both truth and ignorance.

"What makes you think we won't discover the truth?"

"Each time we make one step, our enemies are two steps foward."

Hanji said, slowly hitting the wall with her heels. Levi looked at her and saw her sweaty and nervous figure.

"But we are still moving. Because of people like you, not me. As I am Humanity's Strongest, so you are Humanity's Smartest. You are the one who is pushing us foward."

Levi said, not trying to comfort her, but to open her eyes. But she didn't saw herself the way Levi wanted her to do so. She saw only darkness.

"Levi..."

She whispered, her voice weak and tired. She sounded as if she will collapse any moment.

"You saw me. You saw how my demon overtook me. I almost killed a human. I am aware of the rage I carry...but I was never so close to losing control as I was today..."

He did. But he didn't know what was happening inside her mind. He was glad he didn't.

"Am I a bad person?"

She asked, eventually. Before answering, Levi glanced over at her. He scooted closer, giving her a hug, surprising Hanji by this act.

"No, you're not. Not to me."

Hanji felt the power of his comfort overruning her heart. She grabbed Levi, hugging him tightly. Her brown eyes were filled with tears she tried to swallow, making her throat ache. In the end, she let them flow and stain Levi's black suit jacket.

○○○

After a long and hard they, Survey Corps returned to their HQ, storing Annie in the basement in safe place after being unable to breach the crsytal.

By the two in the morning, almost everyone were sleeping. Everyone but two people who were sitting in the mess hall, drinking black tea made by Levi.

Hanji tried to sleep, but she couldn't so she went downstairs only to find Levi in the half dark with only one candle lit.

"Why aren't you in bed?"

He asked her, bringing her a cup of well-made tea. Her hair was a mess, her glasses tangled in that nest. Levi felt the urge to go and grab a brush.

"I couldn't sleep."

She said and sipped the tea. Levi followed her doings holding the cup in his weird way.

"I guess you're up because of your insomnia."

She said, Levi only nodded. His sleeping problem has developed so much he didn't even bother anymore to change in sleepwear. He rarely even used bed, falling asleep in chairs mostly.

"Have you tried doing anything about it?"

She asked. Levi shrugged, pouring himself another cup of tea.

"It's uncurable."

"Maybe it's not."

Hanji said, earning a look from Levi. He was tired, she could see that by the dark bags below his eyes. He desperately needed sleep.

The brown-haired woman got up and went over toward Levi, grabbing him by his hands and lifting him on his feet. He gave her a confused look when she started leading him toward hallway.

"What are you doing? Where are we going?"

He asked. They were walking through pitch black hallway, struggling to avoid bumping into eachother or standing on eachother's feet.

"I am taking you to your room. I will help you to fall asleep."

Levi smiled at her will to help him, but he didn't believe she would make that happen. Even so, he let her lead him, somehow liking to feel her fingers wrapping his hand.

When they finally reached his bedroom, Hanji pushed Levi on the bed. Not too long after, she jumped next to him.

"What the hell you think you're doing?"

Levi asked coldly. Hanji frowned when she looked in his tired eyes, laying her head on the pillow next to him.

"I read in one book that insomnia is often caused by emotinal stress, depression or trauma. One way to cure it is to feel comfortable and safe. That's why you need to hug me."

Hanji said, thankful that the room was too dark so Levi wasn't able to see her red cheeks. Why am I doing this?

"How come logic is not your strength? I don't feel safe with you. In fact I often feel my life's in danger when I'm around you. That's because you constantly fall into situations where you could get yourself killed."

"It's not my fault! I am trying to be positive and good to titans, but they just keep wanting to bite my head off!"

Hanji said, suddenly freezing as she felt Levi's hands gently grazing her hair.

"Hmph...How odd."

He commented sarcastically and pulled Hanji into a tight hug, rolling on the other side so fast she didn't even realised what happend. Levi just continued pulling her closer to him, until tip of her nose touched his sharp jawline.

"Levi..."

She tried to say something but was soon interrupted by strange and funny sound he let out. She giggled.

"What the hell was that?"

She asked, letting her breath tickle his neck. He shifted slightly, facing her with closed eyes.

"Shut up, Four Eyes. I am trying to sleep."

He grunted, Hanji nuzzled closer and wrapped her arms around him, pulling the raven-haired man closer, warmth radiating from him.

"Then sleep, my soldier..."

She whispered gently, causing Levi to murmur something.

"What did you say?"

Hanji asked playfully, Levi repeated his words, but they were still incomprehensible.

"Speak up."

She chuckled and immediatley stopped when she heard what Levi said.

"My Hanji.."

Her heart started beating faster, making everything tingle inside her. She closed her eyes and inhaled his scent, memorising him for forever.

And so, both of those lonely souls stopped feeling so lonely. Their dreams coliding, creating various stories. They felt happiness.

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