Meggy: *humming*

???: Meggy! Hey, Meggy!

Auri turned up.

Meggy: Oh, hi Auri.

Auri: You are not gonna believe what I did today!

Meggy: Go on.

Auri: I am now an official Mushroom Kingdom Police Officer!!!

Meggy: OMG, Really?!

Mr. Monitor: Yep, his police exams and training was a complete success. His crime-fighting dreams has become a reality.

Meggy: Wow that's awesome, Auri!!!

Auri: I now get to fight crimes all over town, I'm very proud of myself.

Meggy: So, did Mr. Monitor teach you call signs and the police alphabet?

Mr. Monitor: I sure did, he now knows how to spell his name in Police language.

Meggy: How do you spell it?

Auri: Alpha Uniform Romeo India.

Meggy: Wow, what's my name?

Auri: That's easy, it's Mike Echo Golf Golf Yankee.

Mr. Monitor: He even knows radio communication.

Meggy: That's good to know.

Radio: All units from Sierra Oscar... reports of an IC-3 Inkling Female, early-20's with head injuries. She's unconscious.

Auri: One second, Meggy.

Auri grabs his radio.

Auri: Sierra Oscar from 30, show us attending! ETA 7 minutes. Over.

Radio: Received.

Auri: Right, we gotta go!

Meggy: OK, good luck.

Auri: Come on, Mr. Monitor! Take us to Inkopolis!

Mr. Monitor: I'm right behind you!

Meggy: See you later, Officer Auri.

Auri and Mr. Monitor drove off.

*POLICE SIREN*

Meggy: Ah... well done, Auri.

Meanwhile...

Mario: Give me a drink, Bar-Tender.

Bar-Tender: You got it, Mario.

The bar-tender makes Mario's drink.

Mario: Thank you, Bar-Tender. Here's £10 and keep the change.

Bar-Tender: Cheers.

Mario was on his way to his usual seat when he saw an Inkling.

Mario: Oh um... hello.

Inkling Boy: Oh, hi.

Mario: You're an inkling.

Inkling: And you're a human.

Mario: Mind if I...

Inkling: Yeah, of course.

Mario sat down next to the Inkling.

Inkling: Wait a sec, you're one of those humans who won Splat-fest about 18 months ago!

Mario: I am, are you a fan?

Inkling: Well, sort of. I was surprised how humans actually did better than any other Inkling or Octoling.

Mario: Well, you're looking at the 2020 Champion right now.

Inkling: My name is Dylan Cumber, BTW.

Mario: Hi Dylan, It's-A-Me, Mario.

They shook hands.

Mario: So, what brings you here in the Mushroom Kingdom?

Dylan: Just having a day out, I came by Train.

Mario: I used to come to Inkopolis by Train, as well. Well, actually the 1st time I went, I fell in a Warp Pipe or a Portal.

Dylan: How was life as a Champion?

Mario: It actually felt great. In fact, it was so great, I found love.

Dylan: Did you?! Who with?!

Mario: Meggy Spletzer.

Dylan: What?!

Mario: Yep.

Dylan: 'THE' Meggy Spletzer?!

Mario: Absolutely.

Dylan: Wow, that's... um... amazing?

Mario: Why confusion?

Dylan: Nothing. But I actually know her, we used to be best mates at school!

Mario: Oh, wow.

Dylan: It's true.

Mario: Yep, the poor girl went through a lot when she was a child. Parents died, beaten up a lot, and even got raped by her own boyfriend.

Dylan: Oh... um... did she?!

Mario: And when I met her, I changed her life by making her dreams a reality.

Dylan: Okay.

Mario: And then, a year later... we are a happily married couple.

Dylan: NO WAY!!! You got married to 'THE' Meggy Spletzer?!?!?!

Mario: I sure did.

Dylan: You're so... lucky...

Mario: Wow, you should see Meggy right now and you could surprise the hell out of her!

Dylan: Yeah, I should. Shall we drink together?

Mario: OK, then.

Mario/Dylan: Cheers.

*CLINK*

Later... Meggy arrived at the pub.

Meggy: I can't wait to see my hus...band...

But then... she saw the Inkling.

Meggy: Wait a minute... is that...

She realised who it was.

Meggy: *GASP* OH NO!!!!!

Meggy rushed out of the pub.

Mario and Dylan turned around.

Dylan: What was those loud foot-steps?

Mario: I don't know.

Meanwhile, at Peach's Castle...

SMG4: Why are you sucking on a lemon?

Bob: I'm not gonna be a weak man, I need to impress the ladies.

SMG4: Weirdo.

Meggy rushed in.

Meggy: *heavy breathing* OMG, OMG, OMG!!!

Tari: What the... Meggy, what's wrong?!

Meggy: I need a Gin & Tonic!!!

Tari: Um...

Meggy: With No Tonic!!!

Meggy rushed to the kitchen.

SMG4: What's up with her?

Tari: I don't know. Meggy, wait up!

SMG4 and Tari also rushed to the kitchen.

Bob: Guys? GUYS, MY TONGUE'S BURNING!!! AHH!!!

At the kitchen...

SMG4: What happened? Did you break an nail?

Meggy: Shut up!

Tari: Oh come on Meggy, don't be drinking half a bottle of Gin & Tonic. Tell us what's wrong?

Meggy: There's something I need to get off my chest.

Tari: Okay?

Meggy: I saw Mario with...

SMG4: Another woman?! Aw, that's married life for you.

*SMACK*

SMG4: Ow...

Meggy: I saw Mario with an Inkling Boy.

Tari: And?

Meggy: That man is Dylan Cumber!!!

SMG4: Okay?

Meggy: That's my ex!!!

Tari: What?!

Meggy: That's the guy who raped me about 5 years ago when I was an inkling!!!

SMG4: Then, what the hell is he doing here?

Meggy: I don't know, but whatever he's doing. He's having a drink with my husband! And I'm not gonna let that whiny little creep be friends with my husband!

SMG4: Well if he's your ex, what does he look like?

Meggy: He's got blue hair and a ponytail.

Tari: Are you sure it's him?

Meggy: Yes!!!

SMG4: When I played Splatoon, there a bunch of clones of this Inkling you're describing.

Meggy: Well, this one actually took pictures of my naked body when I passed out.

Tari: I think SMG4 has got a point.

SMG4: As Dhar Mann always says; 'Never Judge a Book by it's Cover.'

Meggy: But guys, it's him!!!

Tari: Come on baby, let's watch Bob destroy his own tongue.

SMG4: Okie-dokie.

SMG4 and Tari left.

Meggy: Fine, I'm gonna take care of this myself.