Skye

     "I'm hungry, Mommy!" Elliot said.

     "Too bad, go tell brother to warm you up some rice. We ain't got shit else."

     I could tell my baby brother was starving, because so was I, my mother didn't have to yell at him like that. Ain't enough stress in the world that would cause me to treat my kids that way! Everything we had in our fridge was gone in weeks, without her being much of a cook, all we had at the time was microwaveable food anyway. Only thing we can do is wait 'til the 15th to have our food stamp card replenished.

     "Elliot, Jace! Let's go!" I shouted.

     "Where the fuck you going?"

     "Out," I simply said. Long as I took my brothers, I knew I didn't have to go into details.

     "Yeah, get out my damn face for a while and let me breathe." My mother angrily said, as we made our way out.

     "Both y'all hold my hand when we get down to the street." I said, as we walked down the stairs to the first floor.

     The weather was still cool, finally winding down, as winter was bearing for a close. I held tight to my little brother's hands. Walking out here, you never know what can happen. I spent my last twenty so all of us could eat. This money was mine, aside from the bags my mother and uncle want me to sell. Just so she wouldn't bitch, I even got something for her, but after how she's been coming at us, I really didn't want to.

     You chose to be with a drug dealer. No disrespect to my father, but don't take your shit out on us because without him you know you ain't ever going to amount to shit! So you thrive off the success and wealth of others. It's been six months, quit dragging your ass and get your shit together. I'm over here stressing because I'm being more of a mother to your kids than you are.

     "Come on, it's getting dark. Grab her food."

The moment we stepped out, our uncle was standing out by the doorway of the Chinese restaurant.

     "You have any grams left?"

"No, I sold it all. My mother has the money."

"Tell her I'll be by later."

Scurrying along, I took my brothers back home. Recently, my mother has picked up a nasty habit of smoking cigarettes, it was nasty smelling cloud around her as she sat at the kitchen table. Passing her the food I bought, she went into an uproar about how I was spending her money. When in actuality, it was mine.

After sitting down and finishing up on my homework, my mother sat through a stack of bills and letters from the child services about our case. I spaced out, thinking about my father.

"Don't tell your mother I'm showing you this, you're getting older, and it's no surprise that your body is filling out. You need to know how to defend yourself. Here's my favorite piece, it's small, and just right for you. The Glock 42, small, but packs power. Tell me, are you a virgin? You can tell me, I'm not going to judge." He insisted, cocking his weapon.

"I'm not about to talk about my sex life with you in a room full of guns." I assured. I picked up the glock, its cold steel sent chills through my body. But at the same time, I enjoyed the feeling. Something I could get used to.

"Smart girl, I think you should know about the birds and the bees. That shit they teaching you at your school ain't enough to go off of. They can't explain it with real insight like I can. I'm just going to say, no matter how good it feels, never let a nigga hit it raw."

"Daddy, please, chill!"

"I'm just saying, who better to hear it from than your own father? You wanna be a nasty hoe with infections and disease, that's on you."

"Can we get back to the guns please?" Laughing, embarrassed by his remark. I like sex as much as the next person, but I'm not stupid.

"All these guns are registered, so you shouldn't have much of a problem. We need to get you a license to carry. Even though I didn't make the best decisions with my life, I'm at least going to teach you right."

"Nobody else can show me the ropes better than you." I aimed at the target.

"Skye, if I leave this world tomorrow, I don't want you to follow behind. I keep you on your school work for a reason, nobody likes a dumb bitch. Be the person with brains that everybody fears, don't be the pussy that everybody fucks over."

"I bet if I was a boy, Daddy, you would be proud I took over."

"You'll easily be manipulated and I can't have that for you. I don't doubt that you'll be a leader, I doubt that you'll live past twenty-five, and if you do, you'll be in jail. That's not what I want for you. God willing, if I get the chance, I want to see my baby girl walk down the aisle and give me grandkids. If I can't be allowed that chance, then I bless your brother to take my place. I love y'all with all my heart, but I seriously feel death calling me. I'm not going to sugar coat shit, it's going to happen soon, just a matter of how soon."

"You're not going anywhere, who would be crazy to take your streets?" I said, offering reassurance.

"You would be surprised, I'm leaving everything I can to you. It's a locker at the Port Authority Bus Terminal, it has some special items in there. Please only use this key for when you're damn near about to get kicked on the streets. I was safe and put it under your name, don't go there unless you are really down on your luck."

""What's in --"

He cut me off. "You not listening. Don't question me about it, just don't go there unless you are absolutely in trouble. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

"I don't trust your mother, she wouldn't know what to do with what's inside there. I know she married me for my money. Shit, I won't lie, I married her for her body. Damn near fifteen years together, and your mother never once picked up a damn pan and started cooking. Don't get me wrong, I love her, but I know she's got ulterior motives. If it wasn't for me, y'all three probably wouldn't be here. Do not let her know anything about the key, I painted the key so she'll think a boyfriend or something gave it to you. Locker number 44, don't forget!" He said, after handing me the key. The touch of his hand was cold, and the tone of his voice didn't match his usual manner.

"Okay, okay."

"Now, fire off a few rounds so I can see what you're made of."

Twirling my purple pen in my hand, I stopped to lift the key from my shirt. I held it tight, besides our memories, it's the only thing I have left of his. I don't know what's in the locker, but I promised I wouldn't go near it unless times are really hard. As for what he said about my mother, it came as a bit of a shock. Everybody can see my mother is picture perfect, I'm talking Victoria Secret perfect, beauty is on a 100!

But she has no skills of her own, growing up, she didn't have it all, but everything was handed down to her. I believe my father is wrong though, she can improve, she's doing okay without him. We're all stressed, I know inside she's a strong individual who will do anything for her kid. Even if she only cooks struggle meals. Mentally, my mother is just stuck on the past and won't let go. As I was observing her at the table, a loud outburst came from my mother as she smacked the bills on to the floor. "Fuck this, I can't do this anymore!"

"What's wrong?" I asked, as she interrupted my thoughts.

"I can't live like this no more, I mean, how could they do this to us? Your father built these streets! They paint us like we some fucking monsters. Your father gave back plenty of times to those unforgivable lowlifes, had some of them motherfuckers on the squad on payroll and this is how they do us? Nah, fuck that shit. We above them. I need my damn money, Givenchy, and Dom Pérignon."

"Ma, where you going?" My mother began to fix herself up, walking from the back and out again to the living room.

Before answering, she rushed into the bathroom, throwing on makeup and some cute clothes, fixed up her hair, and damn near ran out the door.

"To find you a new daddy!" She stated, slammed the door behind her.

Fucking some dude out their pockets isn't going to put you back at the top. I'm disgusted that she just said that! It won't even be a challenge for her either to complete. Not even ten minutes went by since she left, and my uncle was already knocking at the door for her.

"Where's your mother?"

"I'm not her keeper, I don't know."

"Where the money you made?"

"Deep in her pockets with a cryptic lock. I doubt she's giving it up, it's only $250."

"$250? Off all those variety bags?"

"It ain't like you gave me a lot in the first place, if you don't like what I'm making, then you sell that shit yourself. Y'all making me do this in the first place, I don't owe you any explanation of what I make off it."

In an instant, he grabbed me by my neck, applying minimal pressure, but just enough that constricted my airways. "Don't get smart with me, I'll break you right here. Long as your mother is sucking this dick, you'll do whatever I say!"

I struggled a bit getting my words out, due to his hand wrapped around my neck, but I spoke with rage. "Don't fucking disrespect my mother, she would never stoop low to fucking with a sleeze like you!"

He laughed, easing up a bit "Is that what you think? You'll learn real soon, shit don't come free in this world, how you think she getting the supplies?"

I spit in his face. "Fuck you!"

Without releasing his grip, in a single swing, he slapped me across my face. "Fuck you too, little bitch, I'm not playing around here anymore. You think I give a fuck about y'all? My brother is dead, I don't owe y'all shit! Blood don't mean a damn thing to me. You just tell your mother I want my cut, I don't want to leave here empty handed again."

Soon as he left, I put every lock on that door. Fuck him, I ain't never liked his fake ass from the jump. That's your brother's wife, relation or not, we blood 'til the day we die! Deadass, my father would do the unthinkable to his own brother if he knew what was going on. I'm not even going to believe this shit. My mother wouldn't cross the line like that over a lifestyle.