That song. That annoying but relatable song!

I heard it stop but even though it was annoying, I kept listening to it and the words kept repeating without the music even playing.

James must have turned it off after listening to it repeatedly, day after day. But can you blame me? Watching her become a different person, from that quirky and loving girl to that, and seeing how he makes her smile, knowing she is ... his.

I screwed up with her. I really did.

" He's just being so sappy all the time." Moony told him, hearing Prongs snort in return.

" Knowing how many times he listened to the same song, over and over again, I think I might be sappy too."

My gaze fell to the corner of my eye, quirking an eyebrow at them.

" Do you think it's about her? "

" Who? (y/n) ? Definitely. "

" I mean he did really screw it up."

" OKAY! " I finally sat up from my bed, glaring at their smug expressions. " You know I am right here. "

James' mouth curved into his perpetual smirk as his eyes met mine. He walked over to me and put a hand on my shoulder. " Hope you heard us loud and clear then. "

And I did. I know I screwed up and I know they want me to talk to her but as they walked out of the room, they were burden free and I was stuck in eternal guilt and anger only by thinking of her.

She was not the same as others. I might have thought of her before but now, everything is different. I always ended the relationship when things got too serious. I wasn't ready for commitment and I am still not.

But just thinking of her with him; holding her, kissing her and having something that used to be mine... I just can't let it go.

Wait. What time is it?

I turned to my clock only to see my next class will start in six minutes.

" Maybe I should ditch Transfiguration? " I spoke out loud, pondering the thought over and over in my head until finally deciding.

If I don't ditch, I'll be stuck in eternal boredom and suffer but if I do ditch than I'll be facing angry McGonagall and I don't think I'm ready for that.

So, instead of ditching I grabbed my books and ran through the door.

Thinking my decision for the last time before making sure, I remember about her again. Her and 27th of May last year.

* flashback *

" I am gonna be so late. " I HEARD MY VOICE ECHO THROUGH THE HALL AS I sang it loud and joy in my heart. I hopped and I laughed because it was funny.

I know she will kill me but Minnie is a great professor and my charm always wins her over.

You know what the funny thing is? That even though the corridor was completely empty as I ran to McGonagall's class, I was dumb enough to crash into someone.

The pain wasn't big but I couldn't help myself to groan at how hard I landed on the floor.

" Watch where you're going, you dimwit! " the girl, who I crashed into, growled at me. Not even bothering to look at me, she stood up from the ground and grabbed the books. But when her eyes finally locked with mine, her mouth turned into a playful smirk and she offered a hand. " Sirius Black. Who else? "

I quirked an eyebrow at the (y/h/c) girl. " I see you're not surprised. " I grinned, taking a hold of her hand and pulling myself up.

"Well, if I had a bronze knut for every time we crashed, I'd be able to afford a mansion by now. " she laughed, patting her robes and smiling at me.

" You're telling me that we crashed into each other before? "

" Since the day Hufflepuffs have Potions and Gryffindors have Transfiguration and other times you decided not to look where you're going. " she joked around, walking beside me with a foolish smile.

" And how come this is the only time I've seen you? "

If we bumped into each other that many times, how come I never remembered her.

" Have you met yourself?! " she scoffed, standing on her tiptoes and puffing out her chest. " Too proud and self-observed to even turn around and see who I have knocked down as I continue to walk further with my friends."

That can't be true.

" You're lying. " I smiled, slightly embarrassed at the situation. " And I am not like that." I added for her mocking impersonation of me.

" Yes, well now you know and I... " she smiled, looking at her watch and widening her eyes. "... Am going to be late as ever. See you around, Black! "

* end of flashback *

We always were best off being late to class. To be honest, since that day, every time I bumped into someone, it always seemed to be her. She was late to her potions while I was late for my Transfiguration class with McGonagall.

I got more detention than I can count but it was all worth it. I had to spend time with her and it was okay, she was okay...

No, she really wasn't. She was amazing and I didn't see that. And I spend hours thinking, regretting, why I hadn't seen that sooner. That adorable laugh of hers. The way she snorts out loud whenever she tries to hide it but it only ends up being cuter.

" God, why!? " I shouted out loud, finally stopping and putting my hands on my knees.

Why am I regretting this! Why am I thinking of her! Why! Why can't I just move on like I did for the first month after our break up! Why is she in my head! Why did I ev-

" Bollocks. " I groaned in pain once again as I fell on the ground. I couldn't see the person who crashed into me but somehow, I knew it was her.

" Watch where you're standing, you dimwit! " she growled at me, sitting on the floor with her legs intertwined with mine and untangling to stand up. As soon as her eyes locked with mine, her expression softened and she smiled. " Sirius Black. Who else? " she smirked, a corner of her mouth lifting up as it did the first time we met.

" I see you're not surprised. " I smirked, getting on my feet as well and patting my robes.

" Like I said before, if I had a bronze knut for every time we crashed into each other, I'd be able to afford a mansion. " she smiled and we both started laughing.

It was just like the first day. The first day we met each other and the first day it all changed for both of us.

" How are you, Sirius? " she smiled, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.

" Better now. " I returned a smile and grabbed the books. " Still being the last to show up for class? "

" I'd ask you the same thing. " she quirked an eyebrow at me, something that always looked so seducing on her.

" Have to keep up my reputation, love. " I winked as I passed her down her books.

" Love? Haven't heard you say that in months." her smile turned into a simper and I couldn't help myself but be wanting to tell her everything right now.

Except she did. She stopped me because I noticed the dark circles under her eyes and the way her eyelids tried to stay up but kept weighing down. She mustn't have slept since she had a fight with Mulciber. He must have been on her mind -

Wait.

Did I do that to her too?

" Sirius? "

How she have must felt the day she found out and the day I broke it off. Right before spring break.

" Sirius? "

What the hell is wrong with me? Why did-

" Sirius. " her soft voice broke me out from my thoughts as her hand took a hold of mine. " What's wrong? "

And now she is caring for me. For the guy who broke her heart and forced her to fall into another's arms.

" I'm sorry. " I blurted out, brushing my thumb across her hand.

How I remember holding them. How her soft fingertips traced my neck and fingers ran through my black locks. How her hand fitted so well with mine and how it never did anything more but send tingles in my body.

Her eyes turned upwards and an adorable snort of laughter escaped her mouth. " So he apologizes. " she shook her head, glancing at her feet before back into my eyes. " Took you seven years. God, knows how many times I hurt my elbows for the falls."

" Not for that. " I laughed, removing my hand from hers and running it through my hair.

She chuckled once again, crossing her arms in front of her and smiling at me. " Then for wha-" she stopped, her eyes turning dark and her beautiful smile disappearing from her lips. " Oh. " Turning around, she forced a laugh. " Yeah, well. You really did hurt me. "

And I regret that decision since the day I noticed what caused you to do. How I hurt you. It doesn't describe how sorry I am for it.

" I know. "

What a dimwit! Tell her the truth!

" I beat myself for it. Loads of times because how you chose to end things with us. It made me believe that I wasn't enough for you. Enough for us but I really tried, Sirius. I really did. "

She kept looking at me, wanting something to come out my mouth but nothing did. Why did nothing come out? Same something you moron, don't just stand there!

" I want to tell you the truth."

Okay, there is a start.

" I know the truth, Sirius. I know you didn't sleep with my best friend and I hell the sure know you didn't sleep with me. Or can you prove me otherwise? " she started to get furious, placing her hands on her hips.

" No, no. Of course-"

" Than why did you say it? "

Because I'm a prick! A self-observed, arrogant prick!

" I don't know. "

Correction: I am still a prick who apparently can't tell the girl the deserved truth.

" You know what? It's in the past and I'm with Mulciber now. "

" You shouldn't be with him! " I yelled all of a sudden, causing her eyes to shot up at mine and build up the anger. " He doesn't deserve you, "

" Oh, and you do! " she scoffed, storming to me and stopping only an inch away. " I was perfect Sirius! I was a bloody perfect girlfriend to you and you took it for granted! "

I stood there silent because I couldn't really deny the truth.

" You know for so long I wondered what did I do so wrong by you! And I knew your reputation and I knew that I could probably just be one of many that you dated! "

" But you're not! " I cut her off and her brows furrowed in confusion.

" No, you-"

" You're not! " I shouted once again, this time convincing myself at what I spoke. " You're not one of the many that I dated. I noticed this -"

" Don't you-"

" No. Let me tell you this. Please. " I looked at her eyes and she softened her expression, nodding in agreement. " At first I did think of you just as one of many that I dated but you really weren't. You weren't obsessed with my beauty or my bad boy reputation. You cared and it confused me. You listened and you were there for me, trying to cheer me up when all I wanted was to be was left alone. You never asked me about my home life and you never judged me because of it. You were patient with me..."

" Sirius..." she sighed, leaning on the wall and sitting down. " The last thing I was with you, was patient. I wanted you to tell me so badly and it drove me mad not knowing but then I realized that in order for you to tell me, you'd have to trust me. And you didn't."

" I don't know what that means." I furrowed my eyebrows at her and she sent me back a simper.

I knelt down in front of her and stared at her for a moment.

Her eyes were looking back at mine and after a long time, she was back. Her eyes were smiling at mine and I know it took me a moment to realize that that smile was for me, what really shook me was that her hands were holding mine again.

And it felt different because I never felt emotions that I do right now. For her, I never saw her like this... like that she is the only thing that matters to me right now. To see her smile every day and to know that it's directed at me. I want to see her smile every day.

Look at her...

...look at me... look what I did.

" Sirius? " her voice was soft and confused. Our eyes met and I saw that we were a few feet away from each other by now.

I must have backed away.

" Sirius? " she stood back to her feet and tried to walk towards me but I stopped her before she could. " What's wrong? "

'...but then I realized that in order for you to tell me, you'd have to trust me. And you didn't.'

" I did trust you. I just chose not to tell you. " I finally spoke, causing her to stay quiet. " I liked you, (y/n). I really did. " I sighed and ran my hand through my black locks.

" Then what happened? "

" I got scared. Of you, of me...of us. "

" Us? " she giggled, causing me to show a small smile. " You were scared of us? "

*flashback*

" Do you like me? " she smiled, brushing her thumb against my stubble as she was laying on my chest.

I chuckled at her question and looked down at her. " I do or I wouldn't be taking a nap with you like this."

" You would take a nap with James like this."

" True. " I smiled and quickly rolled on top of her, grabbing her wrists and moving them above her head. " But you're not James, are you? " I kissed her on the lips, softly and slowly, causing her to let out a hum of pleasure.

I loved when she did that.

I love h-

" Sirius? " she spoke confusedly yet calm, staring at me with those innocent (y/e/c) eyes.

" Umm.." I moved away from her, getting on my feet and putting on my shoes. " -I need to go."

" And here I thought we were getting comfy. " she winked at me, causing my heart to flutter.

Why is my heart fluttering? Stop fluttering!

" I- I can't do this."

* end of flashback*

I said too much.

" You know what. It doesn't matter. " I laughed awkwardly, running my hand down my neck. " We- you- I'm gonna be late." I tried to leave but she only grabbed me by the arm.

" You're doing the thing again."

" I don't have a thing. " I scoffed, smiling at her but she only chuckled.

" You have a thing. I dated you, you moron. Now stop avoiding the subject and tell me what did you mean by us? "

" I told you it doesn't matter. " I snapped even though I didn't want to.

" Fine than answer me this. If you liked me then why did you break up with me? Were we becoming too serious? Weren't you ready for that?"

" No, of course not. "

" I mean we could have just told me that not just-"

" (y/n). " I tried to cut her off but she kept talking.

Wow. She made have changed herself but the rambling can never stop. So while she kept rambling at me what else could I do but to listen. Well, pretend to listen because I am completely sidetracked by her lips. They look so perfect. So soft and blush.

I remember kissing them. From the first time to our break up. I never said last because now, seeing her ramble, chuckling, scoffing, changing moods as she continued to yell at me, maybe it's time for our last kiss.

I grabbed her by the neck with my thumb resting on her jaw and in a flash I pulled her into a kiss. Our lips crashed and kissed her deeply. For the first time, I can say that I feel the sparks. The sparks everybody keeps talking about. You would think they were just another lie to describe those sappy couples but they are there. The burning flame in my chest and the emotions, all sorts of those.

When she kissed me back, once and twice and never stopping, I was too afraid to pull away. Too afraid because I wanted her. I wanted her now more than ever and I know if I pulled away now than it's the last time. I just knew.

But she did. She pulled away from the kiss and pushed me away. She shoved me once and twice, shouting furiously at me but I just pulled her in another kiss. It shut her up for a moment and as much as I felt she wanted to kiss me back, she shoved me back again.

" Sirius, stop! I have a boyfriend. " she stepped back a few steps, keeping her arm up.

" Fuck Mulciber! He's not worth you. He never was."

" Don't you bloody dare tell me you understand! In our whole relationship, you haven't even bothered to get to know me! " she argued.

But she was wrong. I did know her.

" Your favorite color is (y/f/c) and you're a geek for Herbology. You don't know why but you have always found magical plants interesting. Your birthday is (y/b/d) and you always wanted to have a little baby monkey. I thought it was funny and childish but it always made your eyes glow when you started talking about having one. They glowed every time you talked about the future. Sometimes when you were sad you didn't talk to anybody. You just kept holding to yourself and I was such a prick of a boyfriend not to notice these things. I did but I never bothered to care. I thought of you as another of those girls but you're not. You can't be because I love y-"

" No." she cut me off. " You don't get to tell me you love me. You had two months and more to tell me that but instead, you decided to break it off. If you loved me, you wouldn't throw it away when you had it."

" I didn't know back then."

" Bullshit, Sirius! " she glared at me, keeping the distance. " You're too late. You had your chance and now someone else has it."

" Fuck him! He's-he-s-"

" Oh, I did." She cut me off. " The same night we met after our breakup. Remember, after that spring break. " her lip twitched into a smirk and she took a step closer. " And it was fantastic. " she grinned, leaning her head above my shoulder with her eyes kept on mine.

I knew she knew. She only smiled as she saw the jealousy burst through. I gritted my teeth so hard. So hard because I couldn't do anything else. All I wanted to do was shout and scream, punch and kick but all I did was grit my teeth so hard I thought they might break. And I did it for her but what made me even more furious was that she reminded me of them.

" Have a nice life, Black. "