A/N :

for anybody who may be confused, I am just adding some quick little "pasts" of Shawn and Elyssa.

the next chapter will surely be about them being around 15/16.

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This is the first time Elyssa is having Thanksgiving with cancer and everybody else is taking it as a normal thing. I'm not.

I found it weird how the cancer hasn't gone away. But I don't really know what cancer even is. How long people have it. What caused people to have it. Nothing.

When my mom called us to the dinner table, I pulled her aside to talk.

"Is it okay if I can say grace this time?"

Her expression changed and she looked surprised. Instead of asking me why, she just nodded.

"Thank you " I give a small smile and skip my way to the table. My seat was the same as last year, right by Elyssa.

"Hold hands and bow heads... please." I instructed and they obliged.

It took a moment for me to begin. "Lord, we all gather here today to thank you for everything that you have done. Giving us food and shelter and protecting my family and Elyssa's family. We pray that you still help us throughout our lives..." I opened one eye and looked at Elyssa. She still had her eyes closed.

"I pray, to you, that you can help take away the cancer that Elyssa has. I don't want you to take away my... friend." I smiled. "Amen."

"Amen?" They sounded unsure.

After we had let go of eachother's hands, Elyssa kept on looking at me. Her brows knotted together and her brown eyes trailed down at every move I made.

She's acting weird now.

*******

"Merry Christmas, Karen!" My mother squeaked and passed a present to her.

I ran to Elyssa, who had her father carrying her. Her eyes were closed shut and she gave little snores. She was kind of drooling, too.

"Sorry, Shawn." He smiled and walked up the stairs to my room, I figured.

"Merry Christmas guys!" Karen hugged me tightly and walked her way to Aaliyah, who was playing with her doll. She just kept on throwing it and shoving it in her mouth, giggling for no apparent reason.

"Hi." I said, distracted. It was no fun anymore since Elyssa was asleep. I just hope she wakes before we actually open presents. I want her to open my present I got for her.

It took everything in my piggybank to buy that bear and she better love it.

Hours passed and it was time to open the presents. Elyssa was still asleep so I ran up the stairs and woke her up by jumping on the bed.

"Wake uuuuuuuuup!" I shook her and made a loud noise on the bedside table to wake her.

She groaned and tossed the pillow, aiming for my face.

I giggled and covered my mouth to not cackle like a witch, if thats possible.

"Come ooooon!" I whined. "We're opening up presents now!"

"I don't want to." She covers her face with the blanket.

I puff out air and sit at the edge of the bed. A thought came to mind and I smiled.

"I hate you."

Just like I thought would happen, she sat up and pouted. "No you don't. You're lying."

I stood up and kept my back facing her.

"Shawn," She whined. "You don't hate me."

The minute a sniffle was heard, I quickly turned around and charged at her for a hug. "I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding. I'm. Just. Kidding!"

Her head rested on my shoulder, and her arms wrapped around my neck. I rubbed her back and lay my head on hers.

"I was just kidding. " I repeat.

"I was hoping." She sniffled. "I'm just tired, Shawn."

"I know. It's just because I really want you to open the present I got for you.."

Her head shot up, hitting my chin. "A present for me?" Her smiled grew wide and she stumbled off the bed and towards the door. "Come on, Shawn!"

By the time I got out of the room, she was sprinting down the stairs. I smiled and followed her down to the livingroom where our parents were waiting for us.

Elyssa avoided all presents and searched for the one I got for her. I watched in amusement as she searched and searched but failed.

It made me laugh and she shot her head up at me. "Where is it?"

"Open your other presents first!" I laugh.

She obliged and opened the present that her parents and my parents gave to her, not at all excited. But she tried.

I opened my presents as well. My parents gave me games for my Nintendo DS. Elyssa's parents gave me a Nerf Gun. I thanked them and looked over at Elyssa, who looked at me, looking a little impatient.

"O-Kay." I sighed, chuckling afterwards. I stood up and ran to the little closet that we have under the stairs and pulled out the present. It was wrapped by me so there was alot of tape around and it's wrinkled.

When I walked back to where everybody was, Elyssa jumped up and watched me, in amazement. She came to grab it herself and I glanced at my mom, who was smiling widely.

"Aww that is so sweet!" Karen claps her hands together. "Shawn got you a present, baby!"

Elyssa slumped down and tore the present everywhere and ripped the box to reveal a Panda Bear. I found out that she's obsessed with pandas so I asked my mommy if she can help me look for a panda bear to buy.

The way Elyssa's eyes grew wide and her jaw dropped gave me a mental panick attack. I watched every move she made until her eyes met mine and they began to water.

She crawled over to hug me. Her lips were very close to my ear that I can feel them curl into a smile. "Thank you." She whispered.

I smiled and felt that warm feeling in my stomach. All I did was nod and hug her tightly. The little hair that she has left smells like the strawberry shampoo that she loves so much.

******

It was January 1, 2007. Oh, how this day will forever be the worst, along with the day Elyssa got cancer. January 1 was the day that my father died. He was coming late from work and my mommy said that these people shot him.

It broke me.

His funeral is next week and I am afraid to go.

That night I stayed in my room and avoided everybody. When Aaliyah began to whine, I yelled out for her to shut up. My mom yelled at me to not be mean and she walked back to her room to cry some more.

Elyssa came over and walked in my room without knocking. I guess I can be mad, but I wasnt. I laid on my stomach, having my pillow soak up all my tears.

"Shawn?" I feel her weight on the bed and I turn my head a little to look at her. She hesitated to speak. "I'm..I'm sorry."

I sit up and rub my eyes to clear my vision.

"S-So this is wh-what it f-feels like?" I take in multiple breaths.

She frowned and I explain. "To loose someone you care about."

Elyssa just breaks our gaze and look at the trophy that my dad won. His team won a baseball game and he let me keep it for myself.

I grab Elyssa's hand and her eyes dart to our hands. "Elyssa," I began and waited until her eyes locked with mine. "Please don't die."

She nodded but didn't seem so sure. Even her eyes began to water and she hugged me. It comforted me a little.

"I don't want to feel this way again."

We break away our embrace and sit there in silence for a few minutes.

"So I have to promise, too, huh?"

I looked at her, fiddling with her fingers. "I have to promise that I can't be mean to you either?"

I was confused.

"It'll be mean to do that when you're... like that." She gestured on my wet eyes and red nose.

"But you don't hate me already." I give a weak smile.

She shrugged and gave a small smile, too. "I know, but it's better to promise something than just saying things without them. It gives me like a sense of security. "

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A/N :

hope you guys liked this ! :)

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