Sejun's POV

I dove for the couch as soon as we arrived at our condo. I was tired. Our flight back home had arrived at the crack of dawn and I was beat.

"Goodnight boys. See you later in the morning," Cha told us as she exited our condo.

"I'm so tired," Justin said. He stretched and yawned. "But this trip to Korea was so memorable."

I had to agree.

"Indeed," I replied.

"Are you happy, Sejun?" Justin asked.

I lifted my head and sat up straight. All their sleepy eyes were on me.

"Why do you ask?" I ask Justin back.

He shrugged. "You just seem really happy," he answered.

I stared at Justin. If there was one thing that Justin knew, it was the feeling of longing. He was very much acquainted to the feeling of longing for the person that you cherish most in the world.

"I am happy, Jah," I answered.

No matter how I wish things were different, I was happy being in Korea with Gab. No matter how short lived that happiness was.

"Really, Sejun? You're happy? Why? You have no right to be happy!" Josh exclaimed. Josh stood up. He was fuming mad.

My brows knitted. "Is there a problem?"

"There is no problem! At least not on your point of view!"

"Josh!" I stood up from the couch. "What is your problem?"

Josh faced me and looked at me straight in the eye.

"Do you really feel happy? After what you did? After what you and Gab did? Did you think that was honorable?"

I was at a loss for words.

"Gab is married. You know that. Gab has a family. You know that! Gab has a daughter!"

Every word that came out of Josh's mouth felt like a stabbing wound on my chest.

Josh was right. It was not honorable.

And I chose to ignore it.

"You don't have the right to be happy now, Sejun!" Josh screamed. "Do you not feel pity towards Gab's daughter? You're lucky you never grew up in a broken family."

Josh looked at each of us. I felt guilty. I never had that feeling of growing up with separate parents. Mama and Papa had sheltered us from that.

But some of us did not grow up in the Nase household.

"You have no idea what it feels like to live with only 1 parent," Josh continued. He was crying now.

"I don't want Dani growing up with a broken family. No child ever deserves that, Sejun. Please. Please don't let Dani be like me," he said before leaving the room in tears.

"Josh," Stell called, running after his friend.

I stood there on the living room, dumbfounded, ashamed, hurt- all rolled into one emotional mess.

"Sej-" Justin started to say.

"Not now, Jah," I replied, lugging my backpack and heading towards my bedroom.

"Sejun!" Justin called behind me but I ignored him, slamming the door behind me shut.

I sighed. I know Josh was right. His anger was justifiable. I had been selfish, thinking only of myself, of my own feelings. I was not thinking of the consequences of my actions.

I sobbed on the floor, my sins hitting me full on the face.

I could remember Dani, sweet little Dani, peering at me when I went to her mother's clinic. Such innocence.

Unknowingly, because of my selfishness, I would cause a child's dreams of a happy home to be shattered.

I love Gab. But Josh was right, I was not being honorable.

I wiped my tears, resigned. This was it. This was where I stopped being selfish and start thinking of others.

Korea will be a beautiful memory.

Sadly, that's all it ever was going to be.

A memory.

•

Later that morning, while Josh was sipping on hot Milo, I gathered up my courage to face him.

"Josh," I began.

"Hmmmm?"

All my life, I was proud of my choices. I was proud of the fact that no matter how hard it was to choose, it ends up being the right choice, because it was the right thing to do.

Except now.

I was wrong. I chose wrong. And I should not have done what I did with Gab in Korea.

"I'm sorry," I told Josh.

"Don't apologize to me, Sejun," Josh replied, getting up from his seat. "Apologize to Dani. It's her future that is at stake here."

I sighed. Oh, how I've messed up.

•

Gab's POV

The days pass by and Sejun was becoming more and more distant, like Korea did not happen. His persona has changed. He went from doting boyfriend to stranger in a snap of a finger.

I thought things would be better after Korea. I understand the dating ban. But I never understood the chill that exuded from him. It was like I never existed.

Sejun had grown cold.

I sipped on my coffee cup, my thoughts haphazardly disarrayed in my mind. I was confused.

"Ate," a voice sounded from beside me.

I warily turned my head. And I almost shrieked in disbelief.

"Oh my goodness! Jillian! What a surprise!" I cried out, hugging the lady who just sat down beside me.

I looked at her, taking her full in. I had met Jillian while I was living in Singapore. She was all shy back then, a lady who did not know how to make friends. Somehow, she had changed. She was sure and confident now.

"I can't believe that I'd run into you." Jillian said. She placed her orders on the table- a banana muffin and a frappe.

"I know. What a coincidence indeed." I sipped on my coffee. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm visiting my man," Jillian replied.

"J man?" I asked. Jillian had fallen head over heels in love with a Filipino she had met in Singapore. I don't know how they made their relationship work. Long distance sucks.

Jillian chuckled. I always called her guy J man. I never even knew his real name. "Yes, Ate. I'm visiting J man. He just came home from a trip to Korea."

My ears tingled. The infamous Korea. "I just came from a visit in Korea, too."

"Really? How was it?"

I shrugged. "It was nice."

"Nice? No other adjective for that?"

I did not say anything. I had loved that trip. It was one of the best trips of my life.

But Sejun being cold and all had to go and ruin that.

I sighed. "Let's just say that some things did not work out as I hoped it would."

Jillian looked at me sympathetically. "Ate, things will work out in time," she said.

And I wanted to believe her so badly.

"Believe me, Ate. I never thought that things would turn out okay after I rejected Justin," Jillian continued. "But some things just take time. No matter how long it takes, at the right time, things will just fall into place."

Jillian was right about that, though.

I sighed. "You're right, Ji." I told her. "Though you never told me your boyfriend's name was Justin."

Jillian blushed. She turned red as an apple. "I know I never told you about this. But, you know this Justin."

My brow furrowed. "Huh? The only Justin I know is Justin de Dios and he's......" I trailed off, seeing the expectant look on Jillian's face.

Her boyfriend's name was Justin. And her boyfriend just went on a trip to Korea.

My mind was whirring. "You're Justin's girlfriend?" I asked in disbelief.

Jillian nodded eagerly.

"But...but.." I spluttered. "That's impossible. SB19 is not allowed to date," I said.

Jillian shook her head. "Well they used to. But their dating ban has been lifted, Ate."

Whaaaaaaat?!

"What?!" I exclaimed, the table rattled. Jillian looked take aback.

"Lifted?" I exclaimed. "Since when?"

"Uhhhhh. Last year? After the earthquake in Singapore, Justin came unexpectedly and that's when he told me the ban has been lifted."

I wanted to disappear.

Their dating ban has been lifted, their dating ban has been lifted, my mind chanted like a fool.

"Justin's the only one who has a girlfriend though. The others aren't dating at the moment. Sejun's waiting for his ex though."

My head whipped up. "Really? If he's waiting, how come he never said about the dating ban being lifted?"

Jillian looked so confused staring at me.

"I'm the ex, Jillian. I'm Sejun's ex," I declared.

I think Jillian's jaw just hit the floor.

"You're Doc Gab? But your name is Ate G Anne," Jillian asked, her mind was probably becoming more confused at the moment.

"There were two Gab's in the hospital so I changed my name but that's beside the point. How come Sejun never told me he can date now?"

Jillian just stared.

"All this time I thought he was acting all distant because of a dating ban, to avoid any issue but their ban has been lifted since last year?!"

I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. How foolish of me. I had thought that we could never be together. But that obstacle has been removed. Since last year!

Then reality hit me.

"Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh," I chanted, my tears falling.

I was beginning to feel hysterical.

"He does not love me," I said, the realization hitting me like a brick wall- strong and solid. And it hurt.

"That's not true," Jillian protested. "I've heard of how much he loves you."

"He's never shown it," I said. I wiped my palms on my face, the tears continuing to fall. "What if I was not the ex? I thought I was but it's not me. There's another ex and he's waiting for her. And it's not me," I blubbered, my face now a sobbing mess.

"Ate G Anne, please don't say that."

"If he really does love me, Ji, then he'd say that to my face. He'd say that he can date me. Why keep it a secret? I'm here. I'm available. And I love him."

All this time, I thought wrong. All this time, I had hoped that Korea would offer that glimmer of hope, that rare chance that something could spark off what Sejun and I used to have.

But I was wrong. Because he had no dating ban all this time.

He just did not want me. Plain and simple.

"I thought the contract was the problem, but I was wrong," I bitterly scoffed. "He does not love me. It's all a sham."

I stood up. I had vowed that I'd never have my heart broken by Sejun again.

And yet, history repeated itself.

I gathered my things. I need to talk to Sejun and settle things once and for all.

"Ate, where are you going?" Jillian asked me.

"I'll see you later, Jillian," I told her and went on my way.

My breathing was erratic as I stepped out of that coffee shop. My lungs were threatening to give up.

Not now, I told them, breathing as much as I can, trying to let oxygen enter my lungs.

Oh how it hurt. How everything hurts. Why did loving someone had to hurt this much?