Louis approached smiling and hugged him tightly. Harry had not yet processed too many words, and that was why he halfheartedly reciprocated. Last time?

“Wait, Lou” he wanted to break the hug, but Louis drew him back.

“No, Harry, no, no. No need to say anything else, really. I'm fine, seriously, don't worry.”

“No, Louis, but ...“

"Harry ... don't say anything."

Harry kept silent about what he was thinking about all that time they made love, because they both made love, and he didn't know it was going to be the last time, not until now.

He hated himself for being a coward who didn't even face his own feelings. Then he took courage. “Louis, I need to tell-I need that -"

“Harry, don't screw up again, okay?”

Harry closed his mouth, pressing his lips tightly. And yes, Louis was probably right, as always, because he was the mind, the one who thought of the two of them. If he say something it was to shit everything, because he was an expert in that, for something with Liam they were like soul mates, the two are equally stupid who did not know how to value what they had until they lost it.

At that moment he realised that he lost Louis, he lost him as a friend two years ago and now he lost him like everything and forever.

He jerks out of bed in a sudden movement, lifting his clothes off the floor to put them on quickly. Louis almost asked him to stay, but then he recorded that Liam was at home, and even if he wasn't, it would be worse if they slept together.

This was the last time, the last of all because they couldn't be friends again, or whatever they were. It was a farewell.

Harry was finishing putting on the slippers, and stood up to leave the room without even turning to see him. Louis jumped out of bed and ran to hug him from behind.

He wanted to cry, shit, he wanted to cry so much, but he wasn't going to do it in front of him. He turned around and hugged him tight, almost digging his nails into his back. His nose was pressed to Louis’ neck, smelling his scent, their sweat. His favourite scent in the world.

They broke the hug slowly, and Harry approached, surprising him with a soft and fleeting kiss on the lips. It was so short that Louis didn't even have a chance to reciprocate.

Harry left.

Louis lay back on his bed, and there he cried a little when he remembered. Harry was being a coward right now, was acting the same way he acted the next morning when they had their first time.

[...]

When he opened his eyes the next morning the first thing he realised was the fact that he was alone in Harry’s bed. For a moment he was confused, because he couldn't remember why he was there. He didn't know if it was true or not, he thought he had dreamed it, until the memories began to come back to his mind. Intermittent images running through his thoughts like a movie from his first time. Their bodies colliding and then he remembered falling asleep next to him.

He shook his head a little, sat on the bed, leaning on the back. He was naked under Harry’s duvet after having sex with him all night. He couldn't call it making love, he scolded himself, although that had been it for him.

It was fucking beautiful, now that he remembered, he was bottom once, and that's why he felt a bit of discomfort and burning, but he smiled remembering that Harry must have hurt more, because Louis was top many times at night. He had always imagined the after his first time, and it was supposed to be perfect.

Instead he had fallen asleep hugging Harry and woke up alone. That was unfortunate. No, it wasn't really unfortunate, he didn't regret it in the least, in fact, what they did had been perfect, but now he felt just ... strange.

He got up from Harry’s bed and made his bed as tidy as possible. He was completely naked, and he couldn't find his boxer shorts. Without thinking about what he was doing, he walked to the dresser and pulled out a Spider-Man boxer. He put it on and at that moment Harry entered the room, completely naked too, and eating cereal from the box.

“That’s mine?” He pointed to the boxer shorts Louis was wearing.

Louis shrugged shyly. He wanted to run away, he didn't know how to act with Harry from now on. Still without saying anything, he just nodded and crossed the room while putting his pants and sneakers on the way.

He was escaping, he was escaping because he was afraid that he would not be able to look Harry in the eye without being able to confess that he was deeply in love with him.

[...]
•
•

“So ... it’s over?" Liam asked when he saw him arrive. He had woken up and couldn't find him. He assumed he had gone to see Louis.

"Yes," Harry replied, still not looking up.

They were both lying down now, even though it was almost noon. Liam in Harry’s bed, and Harry on a mattress on the floor.

"And how do you feel about it?"

Harry said nothing, kept quiet, hiding his feelings because he was good at it, being a coward and not facing what was happening to him. Liam understood anyway, because he knew him, and knew what he was feeling.

•
•

•
•

That weekend was not a good thing for both of them, and it didn't improve as the week went on. Liam and Harry were late for sports class, even though they had decided not to go at first.

As expected, Louis, Niall and Zayn were together. They began to jog and they kept clear enough of that trio. They handled to ignore the situation well, until the teacher decided to separate into groups of three to do some exercises.

“Payne! You will go with ... well, I'll do you a favor, with Malik and ... Elgort.”

Logically, the teacher had no idea that they were no longer together, and that is why he grouped them in that way. Liam wanted to smile, but concealed it quite well. He was happy to have to interact with Zayn, although he had to share it with the idiot of his nerdy science buddy, who was a year younger, but too smart to be transferred to the next level in some subjects.

"Tomlinson, Styles, and Horan," the professor announced.

The slogan was basic, two had to do certain resistance and speed exercises, abdominals, etc. and the other controlled time, they had to rotate between them. Niall was in the middle of Louis and Harry, noticing the obvious discomfort, but having a little fun because he knew everything that had happened, Zayn and Louis were in charge of keeping him informed of the situation.

The problem was when Liam had to control Zayn and Ansel. From the first moment, his attention was drawn to the muttering under his breath and the sudden trust between the two was strange. He was supposed to mark the time when they both ran away, going through a few obstacles until they started the lap again, but ... all he did was fold his arms, frowning and keeping his eyes on them.

Zayn and that nerd were flirting. There was no question for Liam, because he knew Zayn too well to notice certain gestures he made when he was told a compliment or when he was blushing. Ansel spoke to him from time to time and Zayn only smiled.

When they finished their exercises and went to Liam, to report the chronometer data, the only thing the brown-haired man did was to prop the clock tightly on Ansel's chest while glaring at Zayn.

He ran to where Louis and Harry were, and once he reached them, he spoke to the one who was supposed to be his friend. “That nerd was Zayn’s date, Tommo?” Louis didn't say anything, just looked down, and when Liam saw that he wasn't going to answer, he addressed the blonde this time. "Is it him or not?"

Niall began to stutter while answering. "Em- Li. Liam, I-no ... I don't know if I should be the one-"

“Shut up, Horan, and you, Tomlinson ..." He glared at Louis. "I thought you were my friend, and the fact you were in whatever that fucking meeting with Zayn and someone else was, you made it very clear to me. Don't ever speak to me again, don't even look at me. Traitor.”

Liam left the class, and Harry followed him.

“Payne, Styles! The hour is not over yet,” the professor shouted, but both ignored him.

"Payno, hey, Liam." Harry tried to walk fast to keep up with Liam, but his friend didn't slow down. He was running, running away. He came to him, and turned him abruptly. Harry found Liam’s face soaked with tears. "Oh Li no, no. Do you want me to hit him? That nerd guy? I can hit him!”

Liam wiped away his tears, lifting his shirt. "I can hit him, but Zayn is going to hate me worse. I can disfigure him, make him uglier than it is! It's ugly! It is, isn't it? No... I don't understand what he saw in him. Did you see how beautiful Zayn is? It Did you see his eyes, his smile. Ansel cannot. It's ugly! It's ugly to him, no, I don't want to.”

Harry hid a smile pressing his lips. He wanted to laugh at how tender Liam was when he was jealous, saying that Zayn’s new date is ugly. He felt terrible at the moment for not having accepted Zayn. Liam smiled when he was with him, and he was genuinely happy. Now his eyes radiate sadness, there was nothing more than that.

He kissed his forehead and patted him back in a hug. "Let's get down to business and conquer Zayn again! Do you want that, Liam? I will help you, I promise!”

Liam denied, as he kept walking towards the exit and once he got to his car he turned around. “Zayn doesn't want to come back to me, and he's evidently already found my replacement. That nerd is a good boy, he's smart, he does community activities, he has the best grades and ... he's more handsome than me.” Liam said that last in a low voice.

“That’s bullshit! And what does it matter if he have better grades? Zayn loves you.”

"I am a mess, Harry, I became what I was again. I smoke, I drink, I take drugs, I'm shit, I cheated on him. If I hurt the person I love the most in life, then what remains? I ... don't deserve him. I don't deserve Zayn, he deserves someone better, someone like the perfect nerd that Ansel is.”

•
•

Louis felt terrible at what Liam said. He wanted to cry, because now he really lost them forever. He no longer had either Harry or Liam for comfort, he was friendless. Well, there was Niall and Zayn, but it wasn't the same.

He kept blinking his eyes, watching as Harry walked away, turning several times in his direction. He was exhausted but could not fall again because he was aware that Harry was not on the same page.

He smiled to himself, couldn't help feeling something happy? because they had at least one goodbye, and it was beautiful.

He hated having to go out with each girl who crossed him for so long just to appear, so that Harry slept with the friend and that the two came out ahead of the situation. He wasn't gaining anything from that, he just suppressed his feelings. That was no longer going to be the case, now he was seeing Mia and she really liked him. Next weekend he was going to introduce her to his parents, because he wanted her to be his girlfriend soon.

.
.
.

Liam came home and under the shower, he cried. Images of Zayn kissing another guy came to his mind like damn video clips. He remembering that first date he had with him, where everything went so, so badly that Liam still did not understand how it was that Zayn agreed to be his boyfriend after that.

[...]

The week had passed very slowly for him. He was eager to finally have that date with Zayn, the one he begged to have for so long and wished with all his might that everything go as he had planned.

It was Friday afternoon, he got out of the shower and dressed in the new clothes he bought for the occasion. He bathed in perfume and went out in his car in search of that boy who stole all his sighs. It was practically the first time he did this, because he never had a real date, he never had a girlfriend, the girls he slept with were just that, one more dust.

He arrived at Zayn’s house at eight o'clock, super punctual. Zayn’s mother opened the door, to make sure who was that boy with whom his 15-year-old son was going to have his first date. She smiled when he saw that it was very cute, as his son described it. Zayn wasn't ready yet, that's why it took him a few minutes to get down from his room.

“Tell me, Liam. What time do you plan to bring Zayn? It is the first time he have a date, I need to know if I can trust you. You are older than him.”

"Oh ma'am, don't worry. I will take him to the movies, then to dinner, and I will bring him home immediately, you can trust me. I will take care of Zayn.”

“I know your mother from the gym, she is very nice. Okay, I will trust you, don't let me down young man”

Zayn went down the stairs and Liam could have sworn he stopped breathing at the moment he saw him. Zayn was always beautiful, but arranged for a date, it was a thousand times, what a thousand times! A million times more beautiful!

They got into the car, and quietly drove for a few minutes. Liam was nervous, he didn't say anything, he just breathed hard and Zayn got a little uncomfortable, so he wanted to break the ice.

"Where we will go? You haven’t told me.”

Liam settled into the car nervously and turned to see him. Zayn’s cheeks were extremely red. His eyes focused on the boy's lips. Those were ajar, and parched from others. He unconsciously licked his upper lip. He looked back at the front for a second and back to him.

“What?”

“I said: where we will go, because you have not told me. Is that smoke?“ Zayn said, pointing to the hood of the car.

The engine was turned off in the middle of the street when he said that. Liam got out of the car taking both hands to his head, Zayn got out seconds later, when Liam opened the hood of the car to verify what was wrong. It was the same as always, the car turned off but after a couple of hours it started again without problems.

The older one closed the hood of the car in fury, cursing countless things. Zayn took a few steps back instantly, because he was afraid. He regretted so much that he had accepted that date, since he had been warned that Liam was like that.

< “Liam is too aggressive, he hits everyone, you should not trust him. He sleeps with everyone and then leaves them crying. He promises you love to take you to bed. He is violent, he is a bad person, be careful" >

That was some of the warnings he received from his classmate Claire when he confessed to her that he had met Liam Payne and that he liked him.

Liam watched him walk away, and noticed a disappointed face on Zayn as he looked at him. He approached him slowly.

“Zayn, I’m so sorry, I got nervous. Can we take a taxi? We will lose the movie, shall we?”

His soft tone of voice reassured Zayn. How could someone with that beautiful little voice be all those horrible things? Surely they talked about him that way because they didn't know him.

"Yes, Li, come on."

Liam smiled and timidly extended his hand. Zayn felt himself blush and extended his as well. It was a magical moment when both hands intertwined for the first time, because they fit together perfectly as if they were made for each other.

They walked to a corner to wait for a taxi, and when they got to the cinema, Liam made a move to take the wallet out of his pants pocket, but instantly noticed that he wasn't bringing it, he forgot it in the car. It was too late to look for it again, because they would lose the movie, but when he wanted to realise, the tickets were also in his wallet. Zayn noticed Liam’s pale face when the taxi driver demanded his money.

"Li... you have to pay the drive”

Liam shook his head, staring at the ground, speaking in a low voice, out of shame. “Zaynie, Zayn, I forgot my wallet in the car, I have no money and neither do I have movie tickets. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I ruined everything, I'm a mess. This is the only chance to have a date with you and-“

Zayn pulled out his wallet to pay, Liam looked up in embarrassment and continued to stare at the ground. He wanted to die, and to be buried a thousand meters underground. Zayn got out of the car and he followed.

“We can see a movie if you want, go to Bowling, or have dinner directly, I don't know. You tell me. What do you prefer, Li?”

Liam watched him for eternal moments, still unable to understand how it was that Zayn agreed to go out with him from the first place. Nervousness pushed him to open up and he needed to tell him everything he felt.

“I insisted a long time with you because I really like you, well more than that, I feel that together we can dominate the world, although it sounds very self-centered on my part, but it is the truth. I fell in love with you the instant my eyes saw you, I know that we should know each other and in that way really check whether we fit together or not, but I feel–“

“Li”

“Zayn, do you really still want to do this? After I screwed up everything? I'm a mess, I don't do anything right. I have vices, my behavior is not the best, my grades are very low ...”

“Liam”

“... my car sucks, I don't have a penny right now and we missed a movie because of me. Surely you're doing this out of pity, because I begged you for a long time. That's why you accepted, right? Will you send me to hell after tonight? If so, I'd rather we do nothing, and I'm leaving right now, I don't want you to have me pi-“

Zayn rolled his eyes, crossing his arms. "Let's see, Liam” he paused when he noticed that he was watching him intently. "Yes, your car broke down, you didn't do it on purpose, it's not your fault. You forgot your wallet, and with it the tickets, you didn't do it on purpose either, but it's your fault for being clueless” Liam laughed. “If you do poorly in school and want to improve, I can help you, I have excellent grades. And about the vices, you say it for the cigarette, right?” Liam nodded, but his face assured that he spoke of something worse than that. Zayn understood that he didn't want to say it so bluntly, but he knew too. "I can help you leave those things if that's what you want. I- ... I like you, Liam, and I want this date as much as you do. Can we forget all this and try to have fun? If I will send you to hell or not, I'll decide after checking something.”

“Check what?”

"Whether we are worthy together or not"

Liam pressed his lips together, hiding a smile. He took Zayn’s hand and kissed it. “I am a disaster and you will know all my defects, but I swear to you that I will change for you. I will be what you expect, Zayn. I'll do things right, I swear.”

[...]

He cried remembering in detail that night, it was as if it had been yesterday. Zayn helped him become a better person, because he was the best person in the world. He regretted not taking care of him as he deserved. He did not want to continue being that disaster that was before being with him. He was going to change, he was going to be what it was when he was with Zayn, even if he wasn't. He would do it for himself, because he loved that version of himself. He was going to change, yes. It would no longer be what they said it was before meeting Zayn. And to begin with that change, he had to end with Madison. She was an extra in his life, she was nothing and he wouldn't give her