She's standing against the wall, her backpack on the floor and the contents spilling out from it, back issues of Cosmopolitan and a bunch of makeup stuff.

Standing against her, pressing into her body is Puck, and I can see his erection from where I'm standing and they're making out right there in front of everyone, which is surprising because Puck has a hand down the front of her shirt and his crotch is aligned with her skirt.

She sees me.

And I expect her to at least stop now and come after me but she does nothing of the sort. Just goes back to making out with Puck and turns her back on me as though I don't even exist.

I run.

I run all the way to my apartment building and then I run up the four flights of stairs because I can't wait for the elevator and then I fumble with my keys for a while before I run right through the foyer and the kitchen to get to my room. Matt is still there, I didn't even ask why he was home, I was so excited about this whole thing with Heather. He calls after me as I run through the house but I don't answer him. I just storm towards my room and close the door, put Exiled in Flesh on full volume.

"Awaken again into my daymare.

Location unknown, memory zero,

Vision distorted, sound muted, mind lost.

Slowly stabilizing, removing self-paranoia.

Reconstructing reality from pieces."

I stand there for a few beats, and then I take out my wallet.

"Acidic air fills my lungs.

Awakened senses assault!

These living shapes, noises from the world outside."

The same frayed edges of the razor-blade, I drive it through the skin on my wrist.

"Exiled inside myself again, ready to wake up!"

Matt barges in through the door and turns off the music, sees what I'm doing and tries to get hold of the blade but I won't let him. All the anger, all the rage that I have pent up because of Heather, I let it loose on my brother and the scuffle turns into a full-on fist fight. We're both trying to hurt each other, struggling to come on top and Matt manages to knock the blade off of my hand and he's now on top of me and grabs my shirt.

"Adam!" he yells. "Stop this!"

"Let me go!"

"Adam, listen to me. Tell me what this is about, please."

"I said let go!"

"You can't overpower me," Matt says. "You know that. So please. Just tell me what happened. Is it about Heather? Did she do something? Is that why you're angry?"

I start to cry.

I'm a big fucking loser and I can't stop crying.

Matt gets off me and pulls me up off the floor along with himself. He almost forces me into a hug and I can't help but admit that I need it more than I care to admit. "Calm down, okay?" Matt says, run a hand over my head. "You need to calm down, Adam."

"I don't understand," I sob. "How can she be so cruel?"

"What did she do?"

"She...oh god...she was...she was making out with Puck!"

"That bully?"

"He's a jerk, Matt! He even pushes her around! So why? Why would she chose him over me, I don't get it!"

"Adam," Matt says. "I wish I could tell you that this is only happening because you're sixteen. That it will get better when you leave high school. But the truth is, you're always going to find people like that. People who will try to walk all over you. That's life. And you can try to fight the bullies, you can get the training and the money but they'll find a way to get to you."

"So what?" I ask. "Keep living this lie?"

"Why not?" Matt says. "Everyone else is doing it. I mean, you do what you can. But there's always going to be something that will bring you down. You have to be prepared for it. And Adam, you're not alone! I'm right here. I'll never let anything bad happen to you."

Once I've calmed down a little more and I'm able to think, I break away from Matt.

"I'm sorry I hit you, Matt."

"I'm sorry I got angry," Matt says. "I should have been more in control of myself."

I see the blade on the floor, between piles of broken glass toys.

It still has both our blood on it.

I could keep it, as a trophy like I always do.

Or, I can let go of it.

"Matt?" I say. "Do you remember that one time when you caught me cutting myself, up in the attic?"

"Yes."

"You wanted to save me that day."

"Yes," Matt admits. "But I had no idea what to do when I saw that."

"I don't blame you. Anyone would have freaked out."

"I wanted to save you, Adam. That's all I want, even now."

"Well," I say. "You've saved me."