I've decided. But I didn't contact him. I don't think I can face him.

My friends came back from their one week trip in Jeju.

"Elle!" Judy hugged me tight. I hugged her. "Hi, Judes!"

"So... ?" Ruth gave me a sharp look.

"I've decided. Despite thinking about the possibilities of what we could have been, I'm too terrified to commit." I forced a smile.

"Did you talk to him?" Ruth asked carefully.

"I'll do it on the day before our flight back home. I can't face him now."

Ruth smiled at me and hugged me. Judy joined in the hug too.

We toured around Seoul and visited different provinces in our last remaining weeks in South Korea. We had fun. I almost forgot about him.

It's the day before our flight. I procrastinated calling him. Night came. This is my last chance before my flight early in the morning. I called him.

Why isn't he answering me back? Is he asleep already? It's still 8 pm. I decided to come to his house. I need to do this or else I'll regret it.

I'm outside his door. I called him. He picked up.

"Yah! Why did you answer just now?"

He didn't reply. I was getting anxious.

"I... ummmm... currently outside your house now, will you let me in?"

I heard him walking. Yes!

He opened the door. My heart suddenly started beating fast when I saw him. I tried to stay calm.

"Hi." I gathered all my strength to look at him. I wanted to look away but I know this will be the last time.

He smiled. I felt at ease.

We are in his living room.

He looks at me but doesn't say anything.

"You must be waiting for my answer."

He didn't respond.

"I'm sorry that I went hostile to you that day. You must have been surprised. My parents broke up just last year. My dad is younger than my mom by 8 years. They kept hurting each other and I was caught in the middle. Since that day, I promised myself not to be like them.

No response from him.

"I know. It still doesn't answer why I acted that way. I was angry at myself because I like you too. I was frustratedly that I couldn't commit to you because of my fear. I don't know if i'll ever get over my trauma." I waited for him to say something, anything but he didn't.

I took one last look at him and walked away. As soon as I turned back, tears slowly flowed down my face. I didn't make a sound. He suddenly back-hugged me.

"I'm sorry." He said in a melancholy way.

"Yah. For sure, you can find someone better than me." I tried to comfort him. I pretended to be happy for him. "You'll forget me in no time!" I pretended to laugh.

He stayed silent. We stayed like that for a while. I wanted the hug to last longer but I had to leave or else it would only get harder for me to move on. I broke away from his embrace and looked at him one last time.

"My flight is tomorrow so I should get going. Bye, babo." I held back my tears.

I quickly turned and walked away. I didn't wait for his reply.