Mitch's POV
I wake up and instantly cuddle closer to Scott, nudging my head into his chest. My dreams had been pleasant and I feel very content at the moment.

I pull the blanket up to cover myself up more in this weirdly cold atmosphere. It's usually very warm in his room.. wait.. Maybe it's my room?

I can't recall what happened the night before but I know one thing and that is that the mattress I'm laying on isn't either of the ones we retreat to at the end of our days..

I don't open my eyes until I realize that the breathing next to me is much louder than Scotts is. The breathing is heavy and Scott's is so quiet, sometimes so quiet that I don't even think he is breathing.

When my eyes shoot open everything comes back to me full force and I instantly feel so disgusted with myself. A layer of regret covers every inch of my skin and I feel sick.

I sit up, not bothering to be quiet for Paul as he sleeps ever so peacefully while I'm full on panicking. I stumble from my grogginess but begin making my way to the doorway.

"M,Mitch what's wrong? Where are you-"

I get into the hallway and see a few nurses, then I turn madly into my room. Why didn't a nurse kick me out of there? They obviously knew I wasn't in my room..

I glance at my clock and see that it's two hours before I usually have to wake up, so I grab some clothes because I need to shower. I feel so grimy, fingertips foreign to my body have been on it for the entire night and I am not happy about that.

I don't even care about the door issue at this point, I just start stripping of my clothing. As I'm about to unbutton the pants that I had slept in, he begins to talk.

"Mitch, I'm really sorry if I did something, but I don't really know what that something is. What's wrong?"

I hadn't even heard him come in, but am too flustered with my previous situation to care. I'm about to pull my pants down because at this point I just don't care, but then I realize I've already hurt Scott enough without his knowing. My body is only for Scott to see, not this guy that has already made me feel sick.

"Please talk to me.."

I turn around and see his messed up hair and comfy stature and for a second my mind tells me to fall into his arms, and that's my breaking point.

"Get out."
"Mi-"
"Now."

He takes a few steps back so that he's in the hallway and puts both his hands up by his shoulders.

"Please just tell me what I did wrong so I can fix it. I never intended to hurt you."
"It's not what you did, it's what I allowed you to do, and I won't be allowing it any longer so if you could please just stay away from me for a while.."

His face falls and he nods before speaking

"Gotcha.."

Then he turns back into his room and more guilt floods over me.

-

I took an extra long shower, and get out with my skin feeling cleaner but inside I still feel so wrong.

As I get dressed I wonder why the nurses didn't take me out, again. It angers me that they wouldn't do that, even though I still would've felt the way I do now, but why would they permit this?

I also think about what I'm gonna tell Scott. Am I gonna tell Scott? Of course I'm going to.. But, I don't want this to be another sad phone call. This is serious and I don't want to tell him over the phone, but if I tell him when he visits I don't know how I'd be able to handle his reaction in person..

And what is he gonna say or do when I tell him? Am I gonna get out of here and come home to a half empty house? I mean, it was just a one night thing, nothing even happened, we just cuddled.. But that doesn't change the fact that it'll make Scott sad and that makes me sad.

As I walk out of the bathroom fully dressed and ready for the day I contemplate going to Paul and apologizing. I mean, it's not his fault. He might've not even known I have a boyfriend, so he was just being a friend and I totally freaked out.. Maybe I'll talk to him later, but right now I think I should probably stay away because I might blow up again. And whether that be in his face or in my head and into the bathroom, I want neither.

I also wonder if I'm actually ready for the day. I'm going to stay away from Paul, which means staying away from Chloe. If she knows about my little sleepover she also knows about Scott which could end up bad.. I don't want to deal with all of that today either. And then there's Scott. If he calls I'm gonna freak out and either tell him with no thought put behind it, or I'm gonna freak out, not speak and instead, cry. But if I don't call him I'll feel bad. And on top of all that I get to stuff unwanted food in my mouth and try my best not to do anything else with it with all this stress on my plate.

I chuckle at the irony of that 'plate' thought and slam myself face down onto my bed, immediately craving a hug. The second my hands hit the sheets my fingers bunch them up in my palm and squeeze as tightly as possible.

Don't you think you've gotten enough hugs for a while, Mitchy?

I don't cry, I don't get angry, I simply stare at the shadow of a pillow five centimeters from my eyes. For some reason the voice, the monster, doesn't affect me as it usually does. Instead of making me break down it makes me lock down. I feel paralyzed, knowing that this time...this time it's right.

-

I sit down next to Pam at the small table, not having to tell a nurse what I'd like to eat now that they already know. I can see Chloe giving me a questioning look out of the corner of my eyes, but avoid her in fear of my own mental stability. There's another guy at the table I remember Chloe telling me about, but I can't place a name.

"Hi Mitch, you're up earlier than usual." Pam states as she looks over her shoulder for the fourth time in the past two minutes.

"Hey Pam, and.."

The guy fumbles with his cuticles before looking up at me over his glasses.

"Steven."

He looks back down without moving his head and goes back to his self manicure.

"Steven. I don't think we've ever talked, have w-"

"We talked in Art when I was looking for the light blue colored pencil and you handed me one. I didn't say anything, by the time I could thank you you and Chloe started chatting about that TV show Transparent, specifically the Pilot episode. Thank you, by the way."

He pushed his glasses up and gave a quick grin before turning back to his nails. I looked over to Pam, surprised, and she looked as normal as she usually did. How...Why..Did he remember all that so clearly?

"Uh, y, you're welcome."

The nurses brought over our breakfast, we thanked them, and began eating. Stephen ate like a squirrel, little bits of pancake one by one, Pam tried eating but was too occupied with scoping the room. For once I was the quickest one eating, at a whopping bite of omelet every three minutes.

"No, I already told you." Pam whispered behind her shoulder.

I turned slowly, a little confused, and saw no one behind her. All the other tables were around us, but behind us by a couple feet was a wall.

"Pam? Are you alright?"

She chuckled quietly, "Why would that.. You're not making sense again."

She turned around and took a couple bites of food, giggling occasionally and nodding. Even Stephen looked up at her a little surprised. I know she's schizophrenic, but she hasn't had any conversations or at least I haven't seen her have one. Just little phrases and the constant looking around, which I guess has gotten worse lately.

"What?"

She now had a look of horror on her face but didn't turn around to whoever she was talking to. I eyed a nurse that wasn't looking our way, none of them were. I kept my eyes on the closest one, willing her to turn around, not really knowing what else to do.

"You're gonna what?! NO!"

Now that Pam was full on yelling the nurse along with everyone else in the room looked over, and some of the nurses ran over. Pam was shaking her head left to right, apparently very angry at whatever her acquaintance had said, and the nurses were holding her hands, cooing reassuring phrases into her ears.

Eventually they escorted her to her room, and the rest of us finished our meals in silence.

-

"Okay everyone, instead of our normal group talk session we have an awesome surprise for you!"

I'm sitting at a table with a few people I haven't met yet when they make this announcement in our counseling group. I actually get kind of excited, hoping it'll get my mind off of everything that's happened this morning.

"You all are gonna get to have a forty-five minute Skype call with someone you love! We called each of your #1 emergency contacts and you each get to talk to them privately!!"

Everyone started squirming excitedly in their seats, and normally I'd be doing the same thing, but right now I know who my #1 contact was and he will not be getting my mind off of anything considering he's what I'm most worried about.

"Some weren't able to talk at the time designated, so for some it'll be their second contact on the list. Either way, you'll have forty-five minutes in one of the conference rooms to talk to them and catch up on everything!"

I know for a fact Scott wouldn't miss a call from this hospital, and that he's probably been waiting at his laptop for a couple hours just as I would be if I were him.

"Make sure you tell them about how you're doing, what's improved, what hasn't, all that jazz. And of course all the wonderful details of the hospital life."

Everyone starts chuckling but I turn cold.

They lead each of us individually to little rooms almost identical to the one I meet in with my doctor. There's a little computer on the table and I can hear everyone else talking excitedly about what they're gonna tell their spouse or how excited they are to see their best friend. I'm excited. I'm excited to see his face after what feels like forever. I'm excited to tell him I've kept everything down since the incident last week. I'm excited to hear what he's been doing since the last time we called.

A smile makes it's way onto my face for a second but I'm quickly reminded of what else I get to tell him, and it vanishes.

"Alright Mitch, I'll be right outside if you need anything. The computer is already set to Skype, no other tabs will be available and I'm sure you understand why. There'll be a little timer in the corner to let you know how much time is left, okay?"

I nod and she closes the door behind me. I sit down at the small table and see the Skype menu already pulled up to Scott, the small profile picture of him making my heart skip a beat.

I breath in and out a few times before putting the headphones in and slowly sliding the mouse over the small Video Camera icon.

Calling.

Calling.

Calling.

Loading.

Loadi-

"Mitch!! I can see you!!"

I smile, tears forming from the overwhelming emotions that have been stirring, along with seeing his face combined with his voice.

"Hi Scotty."