Mood: I don't know. Somewhere inbetween half-awake, dehydrated and burning this whole place to the fucking ground.

"Taehyung-ah, where have you been so long?"

Mum's voice immediately greets me as soon as I close the wooden entrance door behind me, making sure that the mirror on it doesn't fall and shatter like it almost did on my way out a couple of hours ago.

I don't know how late it is but seeing the look on Mum's and Dad's face that are both sitting on the dinner table with already finished plates, I must have been out for quite some time.

"Why, I was just looking around."

"It's fine, sweetie", Mum says immediately, her voice careful and her smile a little too heavy at my passive way of speaking.

And again, I don't mean to.

"We were just wondering." Dad sips from his coffee, an old but pretty yellow painted cup. The look in his eyes, other than Mum's that try to conceal it, tells me everything.

I shift uncomfortably.

"Sit down and you'll get something to eat." Mum gestures to the chair infront of her and I do so, trying not to let her see the notebook that I'm quickly hiding in the pockets of my pants.

In that moment Ms. Kim comes in and she immediately, without a word but with a lifted finger rushes to the kitchen and rumages in it.

"So I heard you were up early? Ms. Kim said so."

"Yeah... I was."

She nods and Dad goes back to sipping on his coffee. I cross my arms on the table.

"Where did you go?"

"Nowhere... Just looking around." And if it isn't enough, I hesitantly open my mouth again.

Everything is hesitant. "Just thinking."

"Thinking? About what?", Her eyes immediately gleam up and I sink back into myself almost at the same time, regretting that I've mentioned it.

"About your friends?"

Ouch.

The silence that's settling is uncomfortable and my eyes are fixed onto the wooden table beneath me.

"Sorry", she whispers. I bite my tongue.

"What do you want from me?", my eyes shoot up to hers. Again, silence.

Her eyes have turned strict when I stand up and once more open the door to outside, calmly turning away.

"Taehyung", she says lowly.

I close the door behind me.

I feel bad for her, for both of them. My parents. My parents are loving and caring, sometimes a little too carefree, a trait that I've inherited but that's slowly passing from me over the time. Or- I don't know. Maybe I'm just too carefree.

I care about them a lot but it just makes me angry. She is just too curious, she's just being the psychiatrist that she is. I'm not one of her patients, I'm her son. I don't want every of my moves to be watched. I don't wanna talk about it with her. Everything makes me angry and everytime Mum says something nice or does a sweet gesture it doesn't feel real anymore, more like a memory from long time ago, more like therapy. As if I was crazy. As if I was losing my mind.

I feel as if I don't deserve it anymore. I'm drifting away, I slowly notice. I come to the conclusion that they're also far better off without me.

(Even though I know that it's not true at all. All I want is it to be normal and fun between us again but it just doesn't work at the moment and it makes me mad. More mad than I already am.)

I once again hastily walk down the path to the sea, wide empty grass and stone-covered surface. The scene has gone a little darker and even a few clouds are forming. I think it looks even more breathtaking that way. The sounds of seagulls and ravens mix over my head, creating a different atmosphere than expected. It feels calm but at the same time boiling as if something is about to happen.

Walking so fast that I'm close to tripping, looking in my pocket pants for my notebook, I put the pencil inbetween my teeth for a second as I turn it open to a white page. I take the pen between my fingers and write something down. A thought.

I have started this habit a few weeks ago. I don't know how long ago. I need to do something when I'm all riled up and my head is in the clouds so I just turn to the little black book.

I used to do this a lot when I was smaller, scribbling down little figures and dreamlands and crushes I had back then and wishes for my birthday list. I had stopped when Mum accidentally told a girl that I liked exactly that and when I asked her where my notebook was, she had hesitantly given it back to me, trying not to lecture me upon what's written in there. I had sulked for about a week after that incident.

Still, after all this time, as soon as I'm writing it down now, I feel how the anger is fading slowly and I breathe clearer. Leaving out a breath and a heavy sigh, I point my gaze upwards and immediately freeze.

I hadn't even noticed her sitting right there in front of me, just a few footsteps away from me.

Her legs hang from the cliff as she looks out to the sea, deep in thoughts, her head tilted to the right side. I don't even need to see her face to know that it's her. Serena.

It was her this morning and it was her yesterday evening when I arrived. I wonder how she didn't hear me.

I trampled all the way down here.

I furrow my brows at her but with another look at her face, I notice that she's completely still.

Her eyes are closed and it looks like she's in deep thoughts.

Her lips move.

I can't hear the exact words but I watch her as the wind pushes her brown wavy hair to the side. I can see her face clearer now, light freckles covering her cheeks. It's still and I don't even care that I'm staring at her for quite a while now.

She flinches together at the same moment an especially big wave hits the cliff. Whipping her head around for her dark eyes to meet mine, my mouth escapes in surprise.

I freeze and stutter something but nothing comes out.

"Taehyung?", she whispers. I stare back into her eyes that are sparkling wetly.

Eyes widening she quickly stands up, brushing something from her shorts that isn't there.

I look away quickly, noticing that I'm staring for too long, blushing as I rub my neck in thoughts. "Um... sorry."

 It's quiet for a while and when I turn back to her, her eyes are adverted to the floor in deep thoughts again.

"Is something wrong?", the words stumble over my lips and I'm surprised at my old self showing in that moment. The old carefree, can't be bothered, borderless Taehyung with the overflowing curiosity. (The one that asks too much anywhere, anywho, all the time. Just in the wrong moments.)

I bite my lip immediately after I say it, hand rubbing at my neck again.

"Uhh..."

"Nothing", she mumbles quickly and I almost can't understand it. The waves are louder than her.

"Sorry?"

She's behaving different than the times before. She's fidgety, her eyes seem sad, she looks troubled.

Isn't she the girl that nearly screamed at my still half-asleep self this morning?

"Nothing. I'll go." And with that she turns around on her heels and walks past me, a breeze floating by me and me flinching together when she lightly bumps my shoulder.

I stand there for a few seconds before tilting my head. Weird.

Still thoughts in my head, I myself sit down onto the cliff that Serena just sat upon. My chosen spot as from this morning on. You have perfect, unbothered view of the waters from here and that's all I could need.

I turn the notebook in my head, fingers gliding over the dark red spine before hesitantly turning it open. The paper feels sharp in my dry, salt-covered hands and I look through all the messy handwriting in there yet. I breathe the salty fresh air in as the wind tousles my hair and take the pen until the pen is coloring a new page of paper with black ink, with memories.

A/N: Yayy so many updates today ^^ I hope you'll enjoy this story. Leave your thoughts behind- it means the world to me :)

Good night~
Laura