Sʜᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs ʙᴇ ᴍʏ ʙɪɢɢᴇsᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪғ.

«🇵 🇪 🇷 🇨 🇾 »

I headed straight to my cabin and had a panic attack. What should I tell them? The truth? Continue to lie?

The panic attcack lasted a couple of minutes before I was sucked into a flashback.

Fʟᴀsʜʙᴀᴄᴋ~

It was the night I ran away.

A small child was visible. Approximately 10 years old. The child had raven black hair, wild and untamed. Eyes so bright, it could be seen from 10 meters away. It was a swirling mess. A whirlpool of turquoise, teal, cyan and sea-green. His eyes were supposed to be filled with innocence, playfulness, hope, happiness and ever-lasting questions but instead it was filled with pain, grief, suffering, lost and hopelessness.

Me.

That child was me.

I saw myself running away from the house. The cursed house. Full of blood. Murder. Memories of screams. Ever-lasting sounds of desperate pleads.

From the corner of my eyes, as I was running, I saw a body. I stopped. My eyes stared at the body that was carelessly thrown at dumpster. A fraction of it's legs were visible. I stepped forward to get a better look.

They figure was lifeless. Long brown hair was tangled and in a mess. Upon closer inspection, you could see the glassy eyes. It was still a light shade of brown but the warmth was gone. The corpse was no one other than the child's mother.

Sally Jackson.

I froze. No. It can't be. Even though I doubted it, I was still not ready for this. The one person I admired the most. I was now witnessing my own mother's corpse.

I sank to my knees. Silent tears poured down cheeks. I didn't sob. Nor did I weep. I just igored the absence her heartbeat and breath. I just clutched her arms with my hands like it was a life line, which it was, and tried to convinceyself that she was alive.

I spoke in low whipers.

"Hey mom, it's been a long time. I don't even know when I last saw you. But now we're fine. I ran away frowm Gabe. I'm safe. You're safe. We can start all over again." I whispered. "Remember when you told me that we'll leave Gabe when I'm old enough and behave good enough? Well I'm ready to be good. I don't know how old you expected but it's now or never, mom. Please wake up. For me?"

I waited. I waited for her to show any sign of life. Any movement.

Nothing.

"I'll be good, mom. I'll always put on a brave smile, even when I'm hurting inside. I won't ever let them see my tears. I'll act happy so others can be happy. They won't have to bother to numb my pain. I'll be brave. I'll accept. I'll smile till my last breath. I swear to keep others happy.... please wake up." I tried again.

I sat there for a few minutes. Waiting for her to wake up and hug me. But she never did. I breathing hitched. Tears streamed down my chin. I collapsed. My last hope was gone. There was nothing to keep me going now.

I gave up.

Fʟᴀsʜʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴇɴᴅ~

I was snapped back to reality by a burning pain at my thigh. I looked down to see Anaklusmos pressed against my skin. Even though it was on it's flat side, it was still painfull as it was celestial bronze.

I felt warm liquid slide down my left cheek as a vision of that corpse invaded my mind. It had left me traumatised.

I remember it vividly. Blood was smeared on her white sweater. Her jeans were tattered with faint marks of dried-blood. Every inch of her body was covered in bruises and sores. There was a large gash on her forehead.

I saw my mother after 10 like that.

It brought me to the problem at hand: How was I supposed to tell them about my childhood?

I remembered others telling stories about their childhood.

Everyone had a worse childhood than mine. Some were left. Some ran. Leo was forced to believe he killed his own mother. Thalia was ignored and she had to sacrifice herself for Annabeth and Luke. Grover had a dream which was almost hopeless. Jason was abandoned. Piper, Will, Connor, Travis, etc.....

All of them had bitter childhood and here I am being suicidal. I ran away willingly. They have worse childhood so why am I like this?

I suddenly heard a voice in my mind.

"But that isn't the only reason you are like this, is it?" The voice was raspy like it hadn't spoken for centuries so it was craving every word it could utter right now.

"What about the other reason you are depressed?"

"The memory that made you different and suicidal?"

"The memory that you won't resurface under any circumstances?"

"Think about those memories."

"Have you forgotten them?"

"You know, you can't"

"Stop being a coward and face them, Percy."

"How long will you hide?"

"How long will you keep it covered?"

I tried to block away the voice. It didn't work. It kept whispering things that could trigger my PTSD. I was desperate. Anything to block it. Anything.

I quickly used Riptide to cut some wounds on my upper arm. The pain distracted me from the voice. I focused on the cut. Blood trickled down it. Being made of celestial bronze, Anaklusmos multipled the pain.

I gritted my teeth and clenched my jaw from the effort to stop some flashbacks.

The voice spoke again as my pain subsided.

"You killed them, Percy. You are nothing but a selfish brat. Dishonest. Liar. Useless. Ungrateful. Murderer. Thief."

"Luke"

"Bianca"

"Zoë"

"Bob"

"Damasen"

"Beckendorf"

"Silena"

"Ethan"

"Michael"

"Lee"

"Leneus"

"Pan"

"Castor"

"You killed them"

"You didn't even apologize"

"You even manage to ruin the lives of those are alive. You always take the spotlight. If it weren't for you, Annabeth would have more recognition. Jason would be more credited. Instead you just sit and take all the praise. Selfish. Ungrateful."

"Dishonest. Liar. Thief. Ungrateful. Selfish. Over-confident. Aggresive. Deciever. Secretive. Dissapointment. Narcissistic. Coward. Greedy. Egoistic. Helpless. Jealous. Judgmental. Faker. S-"

I was desparate to kill the voice. I closed my eyes and focused. Soon there was a slight tug at my gut. Focusing harder I imagined a place. Anywhere outside anyone's hearing rang. Somewhere alone.

I slowly opened my eyes to find myself in a river. I swam up. As I looked around, I realized where I was. That river near Triple G Ranch. The same river's nymph had once helped me to clean the stables.

I remember. She was killed during the second titan war. This river was supposed to be dry as it was tied to her life force so I don't know what it is still doing here.

The naiad's name was.... Azura. I was disgusted myself because I had to think for a while to remember her name. How could I forget someone who helped me so much?

I quickly swam under. Deep. When I was finally deep enough, I let it out.

18 years of pain.

First I made a compact wall around myself so it was sound-proof. Then, it happened.

I screamed. I let out heart-wrenching wails. I sobbed. I weeped.

Tears spilled. All the pain I was bearing, all the grief I was keeping, I let those escape.

I was careful not to unleash my anger. Or I'm pretty sure I would've flooded this area or more. I just let out misery, sadness, suffering and pain. Not anger.

I cried and screamed and wailed and weeped and sobbed and grieved.

Finally when I was ready, I went back to my cabin. I opened the door and grinned. I greeted everyone.

Nope. Nothing happened. Nothing at all. I slept. I had peaceful dreams. I didn't cry all night. Not at all.

𝙰/𝙽 𝚂𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝚒𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚜 𝚌𝚛𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚢. 𝙸 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚗𝚊𝚒𝚊𝚍 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍. 𝚂𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍𝚜 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚝𝚜.

𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐!

𝙱𝚢𝚎...