"Why is this Duke flyer so damn long?" Farrah questioned aloud, flipping through one of the many college pamphlets Ramona had spread on the kitchen table

Ramona ignored her question and focused more on Jackson's spot in front of her laptop, as he attempted to fix her frozen screen.

"You're wasting your time. I've been trying to get that screen unfrozen for a day. And if I can't you certainly-"

"And unfrozen." He interrupted with an accomplished smile

Farrah laughed at the teen, thinking about his weird combination of talents, "Really good at kicking a football, can sing like an angel, and is somehow good with technology. Weird mix, dude."

"How did you do that?" Ramona questioned, rushing over to where he sat

He smirked at her expression, "I just updated your operating system and cleaned out your browsing history. By the way, shame on you. Bachelor In Paradise?"

"It's a guilty please, but I can quit at any time." She argued, before quickly caving, "No, I can't."

Farrah sifted through some more of the pamphlets, creating a pile of places she was interested in including Duke, NYU, Tulane, Georgetown, UCLA, Berkeley.

She used to be so attached to the idea of attending Duke because of her Dad, but since their long standing absence in most of her childhood has placed a lot of strain on their relationship, Farrah began to expand her options.

Kimmy and Dj interrupted her thoughts as they walked down the kitchen stairs, greeting the three.

"What's all of this?" Kimmy asked, looking at the array of pamphlets Ramona and Farrah were studying

"Brochures from every highly selective college in America, including all eight Ivies." Ramona smiled

Jackson began to tell DJ about the "pamphlet" he received in the mail, while Kimmy continued their conversation.

"Duke still high on your list?"

"I don't know, anymore. Don't really know if I want to be associated with a college that breeds absent parents." Farrah shrugged

"How bout I make you a cupcake?" Kimmy smiled, having no clue how to respond to her previous answer

"Thanks, but I'll be okay. Just have to research some of these schools. Who knows, maybe I'll party it up in NOLA at Tulane or journey to the Big Apple." Farrah suggested, moving to the fridge, where Jackson was, while DJ moved close to the other two girls

Kimmy caught sight of the fact that most of the colleges Ramona had saved were far off on the East Coast, much too far for her comfort. Farrah was not about to get stuck on that conversation

"New Orleans, huh? Does that mean you're gonna spend your days in the French quarter, dreaming of Mardi Gras?" Jackson joked

"Well, New Orleans has beautiful architecture, history, voodoo, street art, food, music. I mean there's a lot to love." Farrah added, although she knew he was a bit worried by the idea of being far away from each other for college

"As long as you're happy there for four years, and bring me back a voodoo doll shaped like Max, we're good." He smiled, leaning his arms on the counter to see her at eye level

"Still no clue where you want to go?" Farrah asked, whispering so DJ wouldn't worry

"No clue."

Dj interrupted their conversation by dragging Jackson into her own, "Kimmy, our kids are growing up. It's important that we support them and respect their life decisions."

"Well, I'm glad you feel that way because...I'm not sure I want to go to college." Jackson admitted, dropping a huge load of shock onto DJ

"Oh, you're going to college."

"And that's our cue to go. Important stuff to research." Farrah coughed, dragging Ramona and her pamphlets upstairs with her

__________

DJ and Kimmy came up with the amazing idea to drag the three teens on a tour of California University, DJ's old college, despite the fact none of them had any interest in the school.

They started with an official campus tour guide, where Jackson and Farrah spent the whole time bored out of their minds, making a game out of pointing out different spots they thought college kids made out...or where they could.

Again, not that any of them had a slight interest in this college.

The official guide gave everyone a chance to walk around and ask questions. Kimmy and Dj went to talk to their kids, while Farrah bothered the guide with questions about dorms, acceptance rates, and essays.

"Please let me leave." She quietly begged, like she was about to cry

"Oh my god, it's that bad?" Farrah asked, as she ran off to another family

"Also, oh, Greek life is amazing!" Dj cheered, pulling Farrah away from the tour guide and over to her and Jackson

"When I attended CU, I was the president of my sorority, Delta Upsilon Delta."

"Isn't a sorority basically just paying a lot of money for friends?" Farrah asked, taking the spot beside Jackson on the bench

Dj gave her an odd look, about to add her thoughts, when the tour guide interrupted her, "You were a DUD? I'm a DUD!"

"Seriously, you call yourselves DUDs?" Ramona asked, amused by the nickname

"It was the best sorority at CU. Every girl was practically beating down our door to rush DUD." Dj defended

"Well, things have kind of changed since you graduated. No one wants to join DUD anymore. We only have four members." The tour guide admitted

"Ouch! What happened?" Dj asked

"Now, everyone wants to join Zeta Beta Gamma, or as they call it, Zeta Beta Glamma."

"That's kinda cute." Farrah shrugged, stealing one of Jackson's animal crackers

"ZBG? They were out fiercest rivals!" Dj snapped

"But ever since they stole the Bronze Cap— "

"They stole the Bronze Cap?" Kimmy gasped before turning to DJ, "What's the Bronze Cap?"

"The Bronze Cap is the mortar board of CU's first female graduate." Dj explained

"We haven't had it in our possession since your senior year, Mrs. Fuller." The guide admitted

"Wow, that is a long time ago." Jackson said, "Like a really, really, long time ago."

"Ha, burn." Farrah laughed, quickly giving him a high five while Ramona glared at them

"Well, this isn't right. We need to revive the DUD spirit." Dj declared, "We need to sneak in the Zeta house and steal back the cap."

"I thought we were just here for a college tour." Farrah whispered to Jackson, who shrugged his shoulders

"You know what movie this reminds me of?" Jackson whispered

"The House Bunny?" Farrah responded, excited that we were possibly thinking about the same thing

"100%. One of the greatest movies ever." He agreed, resulting in another high five

___________

They ended up in the Zeta sorority house, where they were throwing some kind of small party. The rest of the DUD girls had joined them, giggling behind DJ

"Okay, sisters of Delta Upsilon Delta, and occupants of the Fuller House, today, we are here to rediscover our inner DUD spirit. Today, we reclaim the Bronze Cap." Dj quietly cheered

"See, Jackson? This is the perfect opportunity for you to experience the best of college tomfoolery firsthand."

"Tomfoolery? I liked it better when you said lit." He groaned, separating from the group while DJ and the girls put their plan into action

Kimmy forced Ramona to help out in their limbo distraction, while Farrah looked around the house before turning back to Jackson, "Wanna go put one of those make out spots to use?"

"Please." He agreed

"No way. You two are helping me." Dj interrupted, before pointing at a bronze hat statue in a glass case, across the room and began to shimmy towards it, "That's the Bronze Cap, waiting for me to nab it."

"Nab it? Lit? Pick a generation!" Jackson scolded

"I'd be angry at your snarkiness, but you sound like a college student." She shrugged, moving towards Kimmy to ask her to clear the room

Ramona distracted the ZBG President, before Kimmy told all of the students that Billie Eillish was performing a concert on the courtyard.

Dj held Jackson and Farrah back, before they could make their escape with everyone else, "I need you guys help standing guard so I can get the cap."

"And miss Billie Eillish?" Jackson scolded

"Oh, Jackson." Farrah sighed, "There's no Billie Eillish."

Dj nodded, "You really should consider college."

She nodded at the couple, before making her way to the cap and gently lifted the glass cover off of it.

She hesitated for a moment, before reaching with one hand to grip the old hat, immediately setting off some kind of security lasers.

She was trapped by the hat, while Jackson and Farrah were across the room by the entrance, separated by an unnecessary amount of security for a sorority

"Oh, my lasers!" Dj cried, "This room is lit."

"Mom, that's technically correct, but don't move." Jackson warned her

"What's happening? Are we playing laser tag?" Farrah asked

"It's a highly sensitive security system. If you move and trip any of these lasers, you'll set off the alarm." Jackson explained, looking around the room

"Well, how am I gonna get the cap out of here?" She questioned, shaking the old stature gently in her hands, "And how do you know all of that stuff?"

"I set up the same security system in my room to stop Max from organizing my sock drawer." Jackson nodded

"I'm kidding. It's simple, it has a similar operating system to your basic cell phone. It has an intuitive user interface."

"I didn't understand a single word you said, which must mean you know what you're talking about." Dj shrugged, nervously looking around as he moved closer to the security pad

He stopped in front of it, quickly facing Farrah, "You gonna help?"

"I've dropped my phone in the toilet twice this month. Do you really think I'm your best hope?" Farrah asked, making him nod in agreement as he went to work

A little beep sounded from his phone, "Okay, I'm in. I think I see a way out of this. I'm gonna talk you through the maze of lasers so you can get out of here safely."

He began to give her directions to help lead her out of the maze, which quickly turned into an odd form of spy movie meets gymnastics.

She met them, successfully, on the the other side with the hat, breathing out in relief.

"Mom, you were amazing!" Jackson complimented

"Me? What about you?" Dj smiled

"I was pretty good, wasn't I? And despite the great risk of near-certain blindness, I really enjoyed it." Jackson admitted

"Near-certain blindness?"

"The point is you got out and you still have all six senses." He defended, quickly dragging Farrah out of the house before she could yell at him

___________

Dj finally let all of them go home, keeping Jackson downstairs so she could talk to him about his future and college.

Farrah sat in Ramona and her joint room, staring at the Duke pamphlet in her hand, glancing at some of their offered clubs.

Even if she didn't get along with her parents, Farrah still had this odd compulsion that it was her job to go to Duke and continue what her dad started, and she hated that feeling more than anything.

Farrah groaned into her hands, flopping back onto her bed to close her eyes and ignore all of her responsibilities.

A soft knock on the door interrupted Farrah's thoughts, as she quickly leaned on her elbows, waiting for someone to walk in.

Farrah was slightly shocked to see Jackson, DJ, and Kimmy, "Uh, hi."

"Hey, sweetie. We just wanted to see how your college research is going." Dj smiled, sitting down with Kimmy on the end of her bed, while Jackson made himself comfortable beside her

"It's not." Farrah sighed, handing DJ the Duke pamphlet, "Why do I feel like it's my job to go to Duke. I mean, I shouldn't feel this kind of attachment to a place that only reminds me of my parents."

"Maybe it's because you wish you could connect with them more then you do?" Jackson questioned

"Woah, dude. That was smart." Kimmy nodded

"If you're only looking at Duke because you think you have an obligation to go, maybe it's not the college for you. You need to find a college that's really going to make you happy. Maybe college isn't even your thing, I mean Jackson is looking at a computer coding school in San Fran." Dj smiled, patting Jackson's knee

"Seriously?" Farrah smiled, sitting up to face him, "That's amazing, Jackson."

Farrah pulled him into a hug, glad he had finally found something he was passionate about doing for the rest of his life.

"I guess if Jackson can figure out his life, I can too." Farrah joked

"Dj's right, Farrah. Sometimes I think I owe a lot to my parents, even though they weren't around all of the time, either. I never got the chance to get away from that feeling at your age, but I really hope you do." Kimmy offered

"Maybe you're right. I mean there's colleges all over the county, New Orleans, New York, Washington, even other spots in California. Who wants to live in North Carolina anyways?" Farrah decided, trying to convince herself

Farrah pushed herself up from her spot on the bed, gripping the Duke pamphlet in one hand, while opening the bedroom window with the other.

She gave the group one more smile, before crumpling up the pamphlet and chucking it out the window.

Farrah paused for a minute, before turning back to the group, "I should probably go pick that up."

"And then we can get you started on sending in applications and essays to colleges besides Duke. Can't let my girl get behind." Jackson encouraged, leading her out of the room by her shoulders while the older women laughed behind them.

______________

Yes, I'm not dead. Sorry it took so long, but as I explained earlier, my grades really needed all of my attention. Ended with all A's tho ayeeeeeee. Anyways, since most of us are on break, I'm gonna try and finish this story before it ends. YES MAAM u heard right. (Also, I didn't read through this chapter so feel free to point out mistakes)