The same thought kept running through your head, over and over again.

I'm not losing her. I'm not losing her. I'm not losing her.

Everything was going fine until that Crank came out of nowhere. Now you were chasing after them, River in the Cranks arms and screaming, crying.

It's not fair, You thought. She didn't do anything. Unless. . .

Ah. That made sense. But a five year old girl, helpless and vulnerable, taken from you like a old toy. River is like a sister. You had your moments when she made you want to chew your fingers off, but she would never annoy you to the point of you leaving her. That's just not how you are.

The Cranks back seemed to be getting closer, but so did the door. The door screeched, metal against metal, and kept a steady pace as it closed, much unlike you. You were panicking, sprinting, and probably crying, but that didn't matter. All that mattered was getting River back.

You heard your name being called. It sounded distant. Maybe it was the wind and blood rushing in your ears, or your mad focus on throwing this Crank and what was left of your mother - after you were finished with her - over the Cliff.

My mother. . . You thought. You no longer loathed that phrase. It's what she was. You can't pick your family, and your family can't pick you. You have to live with what you get. Whether they're terrible or they're the greatest thing that had happened to you. You never meant to hurt your mother, not until later in your life. You always wondered why she hated you so much after your fathers death. Now you were starting to understand it. She loved him. You remember the way she looked at him; the way he looked at her. And it was torn away from her like a band aid from a cut. She was looking for someone to blame, but she couldn't just blame anybody, it had to make sense. Maybe she loved you, too. Maybe everything was just an act to convince herself that she wasn't at fault, or maybe a relief from the pain of losing a loved one so dear to her. You pity her now, thinking back on it. She chose him, and he chose her. Then death was cruel enough to rip what life had made to shreds and laugh in its face.

Now you had these guys; the ones trailing behind you, begging you to stop before you ran straight into the Maze, and the one being stolen from you, right in front of your eyes. If you were alone, you'd have to fend for yourself, but never would have made it without the moral support of your friends - no - family. That's what they are to you. A small group of kids, none over twenty, fending for each other, helping each other, surviving together. That's what you called a family. You had one for a few years, you caught glimpses of one of your own in the past. But you watched it slowly crumble around you, the roof on fire and walls caving in, a small house. You watched until there was nothing; but you stayed. Hoping, praying, you could slowly build another one. But, this time, a mansion, with gold floors and tile ceilings. And you had. With the people surrounding you. As time passed, it slowly built up again. From a singular wall; Teresa. To another; Thomas. Then another; Minho. And one more; Newt. Slowly, but surely, your mansion was built. One wall at a time. One person at a time. Until finally, your mansion was big enough for you and all the people in your life to live in. But one thing was missing. A roof.

That one day, when you were twelve, passed through your mind, one more time. The one day that finished off your perfect mansion. The one missing piece that held you all together.

A roof; River.

There was not a doubt in your mind that told you it wasn't her. If it wasn't for her, you and Gabi would have killed each other a long time ago. The thing was, even Gabi had a part to play in the mansion. She was what made up the doors. The doors represented the secrets passed between all of you. Friends, family, enemies, or whatever you were, secrets have always passed around, starting from when you first met Teresa, your first friendship your mother didn't force you into. Gabi had told Minho that Thomas and Teresa were dating, and that was when the first door opened, from Teresa's room to Thomas' room. And from then on, more and more doors opened up with every secret told, until all the doors were open and being used. And with that, the mansion was finished. Everybody you needed and wanted in your small friend group was there. They had friends outside of your group, you were sure. But as long as they always stuck by you, everything was okay.

Now, the biggest part of your mansion was burning again. You absolutely, positively could not let that happen. You did not want to see what took all of you so long to build come crumbling down again.

The way you though about families was usually that. When your born into a family, there's already a house built. But when that house falls apart, you need to be strong enough and patient enough to build one yourself, even if you have no help from anyone. But you were lucky enough to have people who helped all the way through. You could tell by the way their eyes would shine when someone new came knocking on the door that they wanted this as much as you did.

"I'm not letting that happen," You whispered to yourself, pushing yourself to run just a little faster.

I'm not going to lose her. They're not going to lose her. We're not going to lose her.

There was nothing holding you back. Nothing. You were going to save your roof. You were going to save her for all of you.

For us, You thought, letting everybody with the ability to hear it, hear it.

You were closer now. Close enough for you to grab a lock of very thin black hair. As soon as your fingers wrapped around the greasy gross strands, you yanked it. As hard as you could. Sending the Crank tumbling, River went with it. You followed. You quickly recovered and grabbed the knife Minho gave you from its sheath at your hip and shoved it directly into the Cranks throat. It stilled. As soon as you were sure it was dead, you spun around, frantically looking for River. She was already up and throwing her arms around you, crying. You sat there with her, letting her tears soak through your sweatshirt.

Never, You thought, keeping it to yourself this time, Never am I losing her.