A Couple of Trials (ZeLink)

A Couple of Trials (ZeLink)

194,043 3,233 93

๐๐จ๐จ๐ค 2: ๐“๐ก๐ž ๐‚๐จ๐ฎ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ž ๐’๐ž๐ซ๐ข๐ž๐ฌ**๐™Ž๐™ก๐™ž๐™œ๐™๐™ฉ๐™ก๐™ฎ ๐™ˆ๐™ค๐™ง๐™š ๐™ˆ๐™–๐™ฉ๐™ช๐™ง๐™š**After sealing the Calamity Ganon and reliving the harsh realities of their past thanks to Maz Koshia and his trials through the Champion's Ballad, Zelda demands that Link returns to their home in Hateno to rest their minds and bodies. Though Link reluctantly agrees, he can't shake the feeling that he has something to do, and he knows the Master Sword has something to do with it. With winter upon them and even more trials in their near future, can Link bring himself to rest and heal before his journey? And can Zelda keep him at bay while also keeping their finances and lifestyle in Hateno normal?A sequel to Couple of the Wild. ๐‘ฌ๐’…๐’Š๐’•๐’๐’“๐’Š๐’‚๐’@CaptnMoss (Twitter)@Mmmm___Vegany (Twitter)@spices28 (Wattpad)๐‘จ๐’“๐’•๐’Š๐’”๐’•๐’”@Between_star (Twitter)@CaptnMoss (Tumblr)@flutefemme (Twitter)@Lunarartistry13 (Instagram)@Lemmeurs (Instagram)โ€ฆ

๐†๐Ž๐Ž๐ƒ ๐…๐Ž๐‘ ๐˜๐Ž๐”๏ผŒElijah Mikaelsonใ€๐‚๐Ž๐Œ๐ˆ๐๐† ๐’๐Ž๐Ž๐ใ€‘

๐†๐Ž๐Ž๐ƒ ๐…๐Ž๐‘ ๐˜๐Ž๐”๏ผŒElijah Mikaelsonใ€๐‚๐Ž๐Œ๐ˆ๐๐† ๐’๐Ž๐Ž๐ใ€‘

1,574 107 7

โธข๐๐จ๐ฐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฌ๐š๐ฒ ๐ˆ ๐ ๐จ๐ญ ๐š ๐ญ๐จ๐ฎ๐œ๐ก. ๐Œ๐š๐ค๐ž ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ง๐ž๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ ๐ฐ๐š๐ง๐ง๐š ๐ฅ๐ž๐š๐ฏ๐ž.โธฅSirens have always been needy.Craving love, attention, adoration.But not Anastasia.Last of her kind. The last siren.Then there's Elijah-one of the first vampires, one of the Originals. A man who never lets a woman linger in his thoughts for long.Until her.Anastasia changed that.Ever since what he assumed was a modern one-night stand, she's been stuck in the back of his mind like a catchy song ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ง๐˜ช๐˜ณ๐˜ด๐˜ต ๐˜ฑ๐˜ญ๐˜ข๐˜ค๐˜ฆ. Refusing to leave. A permanent, unwelcome guest.Now, they meet again. Different time, different circumstances.And yet, one thing leaves him ๐˜ข๐˜ฃ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ๐˜ญ๐˜ถ๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜บ ๐˜ง๐˜ญ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ:She doesn't remember him.Not his face. Not his name. Not his ๐˜ถ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ช๐˜ข๐˜ฃ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ค๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ฎ or ๐˜ช๐˜ฎ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฆ๐˜ค๐˜ค๐˜ข๐˜ฃ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ด๐˜ถ๐˜ช๐˜ต๐˜ด. Not even a ๐˜ท๐˜ข๐˜จ๐˜ถ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜ฅรฉ๐˜ซร  ๐˜ท๐˜ถ!Nothing.Like he was some forgettable ๐˜ด๐˜ช๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ค๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ข๐˜ค๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ in her story.Elijah Mikaelson. Forgotten.Frankly, ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ'๐˜ด ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง๐˜ง๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ. ๏ฝข๐˜Œ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ซ๐˜ข๐˜ฉ ๐˜”๐˜ช๐˜ฌ๐˜ข๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ ๐˜น ๐˜–๐˜ณ๐˜ช๐˜จ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ข๐˜ญ ๐˜๐˜ฆ๐˜ฎ๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ ๐˜”๐˜ข๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜Š๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ข๐˜ค๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ.๐˜๐˜ต ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ญ๐˜บ ๐˜ง๐˜ฐ๐˜ญ๐˜ญ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ๐˜ด ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ง๐˜ช๐˜ณ๐˜ด๐˜ต ๐˜ต๐˜ธ๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฑ๐˜ช๐˜ด๐˜ฐ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜š๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ด๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ ๐˜๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ.๐˜ˆ๐˜ง๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต, ๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜บ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ช๐˜จ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ข๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ง๐˜ณ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฎ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ!๏ฝฃโ€ฆ

The Jedi From Earth: A Star Wars Story #Wattys2023

The Jedi From Earth: A Star Wars Story #Wattys2023

34,440 482 200

A Long Time Ago in a galaxy far far away... It has been nearly twenty years since the fall of the Old Republic and the Jedi Order. Both were felled by a plot orchestrated over centuries and culminated in its executioner, the Sith Lord Darth Sidious, who rules over the Galactic Empire As Emperor Palpatine, along with his apprentice and chief enforcer Darth Vader. As large as the galaxy is there are secrets and worlds long forgotten or hidden that come to the attention of the Emperor and his quest for becoming the master of death itself. On one of these worlds is a young man, first of many of this world to be gifted in the ability to use the life-binding energy known as the Force, his name is Shawn Mendes. Even though adored by millions, Shawn's destiny and the worlds is forever changed when Darth Sidious senses him and discovers Earth. After entering the Emperors service, Shawn encounters both dangers and new friends, even love in this alien world that spans across the Stars. The lives of others are changed as well. A relatively unknown politician finds herself at the helm of the most powerful military on Earth, when the Empire begins bearing down. A tyrant finds himself rekindling old alliances. An ordinary girl becomes an asset to the Rebellion. A Queen becomes the very thing she hoped to never be, and a Princess finds herself holding hope in the palm of her hand. Within all of this, Shawn sees, learns and experiences incredible adventures across the galaxy, encounters with relics of bygone eras on Earth and abroad. Some adventures test his good natured character, challenging him to give into the seductive lure of the dark side of the Force. With help from those who came before he yearns to adhere to one principle, to stay true to himself, and to trust only in the Force. I do not own Star Wars, Legend Of Korra or Game Of ThronesAll Star Wars,Legend Of Korra and Game Of Thrones character names are property of their respective ownersโ€ฆ

Siva (Volume 5) The Eyes of Origins

Siva (Volume 5) The Eyes of Origins

291,419 26,596 111

[#1 in Virtual Reality]Fantasy and Magic meets Science and Technology. In this epic story of brotherly love, friendship, struggle, and conspiracy, come join in on an adventure that will take you on the journey behind the legend of one of the most beloved stories ever told! Volume 5 of the Siva Light Novel SeriesTHE VIOLENT QUEST CONTINUES!The world had witnessed the Battle of Dragona and many believed that Siva was connected to a very big event concerning the main story of the game. Chased, he once again embarks on an escape odyssey with an old and new friend, fight against a new plethora of monsters and nemeses, meet old and new allies, settle unpaid debts, and unfurl the curtain that hides the shadows pulling the strings from behind the scenes -while helplessly watching the rise of an array of the most dangerous enemies to his new found identity! To destroy or not to destroy, this is the question in this Fifth Installment of the story of a lifetime, told in a new light, seen from the eyes of the one that created... The Legend of The Destroyer. ***Here's the currently existing contributors to our cause in Patreon...-----------Trinity God-----------(Tier not yet released - max 3) -----------Primordial Gods-----------(Tier not yet released - max 26)-----------Elder Gods-----------(max 100)Raghu Ram-----------Chaos Gods-----------mark m mageeJoshEli Calabria-----------Acolytes-----------Ajay ThapaJayCharles T Martinโ€ฆ

Anime Oneshots!

Anime Oneshots!

120,411 1,003 91

This book is an assortment of anime oneshots of animes I have watched. This story contains ships I ship along with character x reader. This is a romantic book and will not contain anything dirty.List of animes for ships: {My Hero Academia, Attack on Titan, Assassination Classroom, Haikyuu, Free!, Kuroko no Basket, Seraph Of The End, Given, Hunter X Hunter}List of animes for Character x reader: {My Hero Academia, Attack on Titan, Assassination Classroom, Haikyuu, Tokyo Ghoul, Blue Exorcist, Demon Slayer, Howl's Moving Castle, Hunter X Hunter, Servamp, Jujutsu Kaisen, Avatar: The Last Airbender (I know it's not technically anime), Obey Me!}New! As of June 22, 2020:Boyfriend and girlfriend scenarios! (Character X reader only!)List of animes for scenarios:{My Hero Academia, Attack On Titan, Assassination Classroom, Haikyuu, Tokyo Ghoul, Demon Slayer, Fire Force, Hunter X Hunter, maybe Bungou Stray Dogs, maybe Seraph Of The End, and maybe Blue Exorcist.}#5 in Animeships โœŒ๏ธŽ 01-12-22#7 in Animeoneshots โœŒ๏ธŽ 10-15-20I have a MyAnimeList account under the username: Virgo_100_ if you want to see what animes I've seen. If you haven't watched any of these animes I highly recommend you watch them, they are really good!If I have any errors in grammar or information don't be afraid to point it out. I'm a perfectionist so it bothers me, but if it doesn't bother you that's fine. I'm openminded to any opinions as well!โ€ฆ

[201-400] LORD OF THE WORLD: I BECOME THE LORD OF THE DESERT FROM THE START

[201-400] LORD OF THE WORLD: I BECOME THE LORD OF THE DESERT FROM THE START

59,405 2,064 200

Author:Carp Blowing BubblesAlternative names:Global Lords: Start As a Desert Lord, ๅ…จ็ƒ้ข†ไธป๏ผšๅผ€ๅฑ€ๆˆไธบๆฒ™ๆผ ้ข†ไธปGenre:Sci-fi, Action, FantasySource:WebnovelStatus:OngoingBillions of people around the world were transmigrated to the game world of "Shining Era." Everyone became lords and possessed their own land.They recruited troops, gathered resources, occupied mines, attacked cities and built up their empires.In this world of lords, the most important resource was the troop lairs where they could recruit troops.However, the potential of these lairs was fixed. If anyone wanted to obtain a top-level troop, they could only do so by defeating powerful wild troops and occupying their lairs.However, Richard discovered that he could actually improve the level of troop lairs directly.From then on, various powerful troops were groomed by him.When the other players were still leaping with joy from obtaining a high-level troop, behind Richard were a Desert Pharoah, a Demonic Scorpion King, a Mechanical Giant, a Demon Baron, a Blood Archduke, a Five-colored Evil Dragon, and a Fallen Angel.From that day on, a prosperous and dazzling oasis city was established in the desert. As for Richard, he became the ruler of the desert.โ€ฆ

One Stop Yaoi, The First Stop (Editing)

One Stop Yaoi, The First Stop (Editing)

212,908 2,405 410

Hey guys! Just like what the title says, this is a one stop list of yaoi.. be it anime, manga, live action, or bl games. I also added android app games.The mangas in this list are highly recommended, I already read them and I really enjoyed them and hoping that someday it will turn into anime.There are also animes that I enjoyed and most of them are my personal favorites, they are on the top list.So I hope you'll check them out and enjoyed them as much as I do.Thank you for visiting.Love lots, Rainbhel.โ€ฆ

My Drawings

My Drawings

301,163 23,879 168

Yup.Just a collection of my drawings.They're both digital and penciled.Have Fun XDNote : Please do not take my art unless you have asked for my permission first, ok? Also, requests are closed. I repeat, they are closed.[COMPLETED]โ€ฆ

the cute guy next door (might be a villain) // ShinZuku

the cute guy next door (might be a villain) // ShinZuku

798 123 30

[BNHA/MHA] [M/M] Quirkless, young adult Midoriya Izuku has a problem. Namely, he has a crush on his purple haired, tired-looking neighbor. They keep running into each other and the guy is actually pretty nice under that deadpan faรงade, has a sense of humor, doesn't seem to judge anyone for their quirk status, and is constantly spoiling any cat in the building that finds him. (He's also a shameless flirt.)But Izuku has concerns. About the strange bruises and bloodied knuckles. About the weapons he's seen when stopping by for a cup of sugar. About the shady-looking figures he's accidentally spotted his neighbor meeting with. About the fact that right after the news reported a big crime bust, his neighbor came home beat all to hell and looking haunted.Izuku has a problem. Namely, he has a crush on his neighbor, who he's pretty sure is secretly a villain. And he has no idea what to do with that.(or: Adult!ShinZuku AU where Shinsou Hitoshi is an underground, undercover pro hero trying to find a lead on a case that may or may not involve the socially awkward guy living next door. Misunderstandings abound.)(Rated T for bad language and thirsty thoughts.)(Thirty Chapters. Completed Fic. Also available as a podfic read by the author.)โ€ฆ

Games Of Thrones: The Lost Hero

Games Of Thrones: The Lost Hero

58,475 1,700 70

a reincarnated young man with a system that allows him to develop his abilities, with the condition of fulfilling missions from which he will be able to choose three options or he will have a punishment if he does not comply with the chosen option.Before the final era of the Targaryen dynasty an illegitimate son was born to the lord of the house Dayne. The young man reincarnated after his death in a SWAT operation, at the hands of criminals while trying to rescue a young woman they were trying to kidnap, in this encounter he ended up being stabbed in the heart.---โ€------------โ€------------โ€------------โ€----------------------[[[[ IF YOU WANT TO SUPPORT ME DO IT AT: https://www.paypal.me/BlackHouse97 ]]]]----โ€------------โ€------------โ€----------------------------------(excuse my poor english and grammar (2/10), it's not my native language)โ€ฆ

Memes To Cure Your Boredom: Volume #2

Memes To Cure Your Boredom: Volume #2

14,882 352 200

Volume #2!!!! If you haven't seen Volume #1 of our memes, I highly recommend that you do as the memes are just as good as the ones in this book.Once again, I am not responsible for any loss of brain cells whilst reading this book.All memes here are my very good friends creations, based on his interests. Splatoon, SCP, Alton Towers, Animal Crossing, Among us, plus much more. Please enjoy!โ€ฆ

Fusion Online

Fusion Online

4,943 228 28

(Beta story)In the distant future, scientist have created a way to form separate artificial reality dimensions to test many experiments that they could not do in real life. As ground breaking as this technology is, multiple video game companies quickly figure out that they can program games using this form of technology. Ian Stalk, an alpha designer and beta tester, manages to get the game Fusion, the first of the artificial series games. This game blends two great franchise, the mind blowing cinematic Star Wars series, and the hardcore, well developed Microsoft Xbox exclusive Halo trilogy, to create the well balanced game Fusion. This AR-MMO-RPG-FPS lets players explore the new universe. Players can travel from the rainy planet of Kamino, to the glassed planet of Reach. Or perhaps a trip to the infamous desert world of Tatooine to the large home world of the Sangheli. Each player can chose their destiny But luck is not on their side. Quickly realizing that the game was rigged by one of the programmers, Ian Stalk, or better known as Caliber, must find a way to eliminate the Sinister Six. This team is formed by the Sith Lords Emperor Palpatine, Count Dooku and his apprentice Asaj Ventress, the cunning General Grievous, forerunner protector Warden Eternal, and the fallen Chosen One, Darth Vader.Every day, the Spartan Republic, alongside other large alliances or Spartan companies, jump feet first into the line of fire to free themselves from this horrid genocide.Inspired by SAO, Log Horizon, Star Wars Battlefront I, II, and EA, Halo 5 Guardians, and, of course, ME WANTING TO BE IN A VIDEO GAME!!โ€ฆ

Fate (Boku No Hero Academia x Reader) (DISCONTINUED)

Fate (Boku No Hero Academia x Reader) (DISCONTINUED)

374,300 9,748 108

All Kusanagi (Y/n) wanted to do was live out the rest of her life in peace with her family after saving the world twice. But it seems that Nezu has other plans for her. I do not own Boku No Hero Academia and the images that I use!โ€ฆ

The Way of the Future: Age of Machines(Completed)

The Way of the Future: Age of Machines(Completed)

114,850 4,778 181

Artemis woke with amnesia underneath the shattered remains of a once prosperous human civilization. He remembered nothing, his past or the events that happened that caused the world to become as it was. He was no longer purely human, he woke to find himself as a nearly destroyed Android. But amid the radioactive dunes and lifeless expanse of the Earth, a lone machine network survived the disaster. After discovering that he controlled them, he set out on one goal: Rebuild. But how can he fully rebuild? For the Earth once had life but now was barren, not even bacteria survived.But he was not alone, when he awoke, a voice rang in his head, who was it? It was his long friend, a friend from the past with unknown relationship. Although he does not remember her name, he still felt how important she was before even if he has lost all his humanity and memories, her name was Caitlyn. Follow her as she guides Artemis for centuries after he awakes, the both of them will form the most powerful machine leaders who will ever walk in the face of the world.Their story will start 1000 years into Artemis' rebuilding, he now controlled a vast network of machines around the planet Earth, all focused in the effort of rebuilding the world towards its former glory, there was only one thing missing, an essential attribute which differentiated Earth from all other known planets: Life.But everything changed when a wormhole opened, a breach within the fabric of space and time, opening a pathway between Earth and a world of fantasy! Follow Artemis as he and his Empire explores this new mystical world full of elves, goblins, orcs, dwarves, ogres, humans, kingdoms, Empires and magic! His goal of restoring life may be within his grasps.Note: This story has an original story somewhere in Webnovel. The original author probably retires on writing so I try to finish it and put some changes for my own. Please, I hope its not copyrighted!โ€ฆ

Second Nature

Second Nature

89,686 2,221 66

2012 SILVER MEDAL WINNER in the Indie Awards (from the Independent Publishers Association).When the heart sees more keenly than the eye, beauty is unexpectedly found. Gen is a teen-age woman. She is also a bio-warfare research project, designed by Col. Jack Eberhard. Born at Redstone Military Laboratories inside a quarantine unit rated Biohazard Level Four, Genโ€™s body harbors billions of microscopic organisms that have mutated from her genetically altered cells. The tiny entities in Genโ€™s tissues control life at the molecular level and Eberhard weekly tests their ability to heal the simulated combat wounds he inflicts on her. When a deadly threat forces Gen to escape the lab, she discovers that her marvelous power to reconstruct living tissue, from proteins to cells to whole organs, enables her to transform herself bodily into any animal whose DNA she collects through a simple touch. While in the form of a dolphin, Gen saves dolphin researcher Cade Seaborne from drowning. Her heartfelt attraction to him compels her to spontaneously shape-shift back into human form; but the morphing is incomplete and Cade encounters Gen as a woman with her head and face hideously deformed.As Gen struggles with her dilemma of falling in love with a kind-hearted man who nonetheless regards her as pitifully ugly, the evolving microscopic life-forms inside her compel her to complete a frightening journey to fulfill their mysterious mission. Meanwhile, Eberhard has tracked down Gen and heโ€™s sending in Special Forces to carry out a priority-one Executive Order: capture and destroy his dangerous experiment. When Cade at last recognizes beauty behind the mask of a beast, heโ€™ll give his life to protect the unusual woman he cherishes. And he learns that love has its own transformative power. Michael Crichton meets Hans Christian Anderson in this romantic thriller with the brains of science fiction and the heart of a fairy tale.โ€ฆ

Reincarnated as a random race, of course I got goblin.

Reincarnated as a random race, of course I got goblin.

193,715 11,160 139

After falling to my death due to poor maintenance on a viewing platform over a ravine, I find myself having an audience with God. In return for my untimely demise (that ended up saving the lives of a huge group of tourists) I am reincarnated into a world of magic and monsters! Due to the laws of divinity, God cant actually give me a choice in what I reincarnate as, but whats the worst I can be reborn as? Goblin? Hmm...โ€ฆ

Moringmark TOH comics - - - Book 3

Moringmark TOH comics - - - Book 3

19,457 750 200

Title - All credit goes to Moringmark on Tumblr - If you like it, vote and comment and I will update more!! - Book 3โ€ฆ

Teen Fortress (Old Version)

Teen Fortress (Old Version)

8,633 277 43

Ten teenage girls from all over the world will come together in the RED base calling them selves team RED like the nine mercenaries who just so happen to be their fathers. They came here because the Rixon International Military University, or RIMU for short, sent them here to fight a war with very little reason to be fought.The war they are fighting against a team of teenage boys who call themselves team BLU. It all spins out of control when rebellion rises within the teams, teams who were already there and hiding start showing their faces again to join the fight and members of two different teams fall in love. The true war is the war of team members being able to trust and befriend each other because with out that, the war is already lost. Feel free to do fan art, fanfictions, ect of my work. It is enjoyed as long as you give me credit! *Disclamer: I do not own Team Fortress 2. All rightful credit to rightful owners.* *Another Disclaimer- (kinda important)I also do not own the picture used in the cover, as it belongs to psychoaccess on Deviant art (link: http://psychoaccess.deviantart.com)*โ€ฆ

SuperNatural

SuperNatural

2,552 93 52

Keylina an 17 years old send to the prison world with her sister for murder after several years by their mother. Tanya a powerful hybrid hide her powers with the advantage of siphoners. Keylina weak hybrid witch-vampire and tribrid if siphoning added doesn't hide what she is. In prison world they will meet unexpectedly their cousin, Bonnie Bennett, with her friend Damon Salvatore. Relationship with Damon and the sister won't be good but with secretly better with Keylina. A mysterious man name Kai will be getting in the group. Keylina didn't had great relationship with him but the relationship between Kai and Tanya will be worst. Reason that will be known when you read my story. Find secrets and past stories.โ€ฆ

(COMPLETED)Various X F!Reader One Shots

(COMPLETED)Various X F!Reader One Shots

44,758 876 200

Being a self shipper and a writer comes with the urge to share my creations. I don't accept requests as the one shots I post are one shots I've written for myself and I'm just changing the format a little to make them reader inserts. Hope you understand and enjoy the stories.All characters written(besides you) belong to their respective owners.DISCLAIMER: quite some cursing because I swear like a sailor and certain curse words are used to add emphasis.โ€ฆ