The Firebird

They agreed to split into two groups. Tamar Nadia and Adrik would travel with Genya, David, and Misha at the southeast edge of the valley. Tolya, Mal, Jake, Zoya, Kaida, Harshaw and Aline would go to find the firebird.

When they landed in Dva Stolba Kaida was surprised to see all the colors and lights on the valley; she expected something like a graveryward, but instead there was a beautiful valley full of life. And something that called everyone's attention was the cemetery. In most Ravka the cemeteries were bigger than the towns.

Kaida could feel Alina and Mal's pain, that was the place where their families died. The Shu had burned the valley years ago and because no one survived, there was no one to mourn.

They stopped to talk with a woman, asked her how to get to the mountains, at the beginning she just told them to avoid the mountains but then Tolya said something to her and gave them a map with the right direction.

They walked and climbed for days, keeping watch over the nights and resting when they could. One of the days they were attacked by Shu, but Harshaw and Zoya managed to stop them.

Kaida couldn't stop thinking about the fact that the more they traveled inside Shu Han the farther they were from Ravka.

They finally reached The Cera Huo.

"Now what?" Jake asked.

"Up, I think," Mal said.

"We will have to go around. There is no way of scaling the face," Tolya said.

"I think it would be better in the morning, right now it's too dark and too dangerous," Kaida said.

They all agreed and they got ready to camp.

Kaida fell asleep and soon as she closed her eyes, hugging herself waiting for the nightmares to arrive but instead she saw him, it was like a dream but it felt so real.

The moon was big in the sky illuminating Kaida's face. She was standing in front of a destroyed village with a destroyed castle at the end of it. The silence overwhelmed her, but somehow she knew that place.

"My dear Kaida," she turned around to see him, his glasses over his big nose and his gold eyes scanning her.

"No, you are not here," Kaida said. "I ran away from you years ago,"

"Did you?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Yes, I did. You are not part of my life anymore," she said firmly.

"Are you sure about that? Monster," Kaida's confidence flattered.

"I...I...I am not a monster," she said.

"You said that I wasn't part of your life anymore, but you still hear my voice calling you monster. Every step you take you take it thinking about me, trying to show me I wasn't right," Kaida gritted her teeth. "But I've been right this whole time. You are a broke person that fights to save the people you love not to save yourself. You are broken,"

Kaida looked at him, sadness in her eyes. She turned her head towards the ruined village, the village was like her, broken, ruined, not capable of being fixed, but then she realized, the village couldn't be fixed because there wasn't anyone to fix it. But she wasn't broke.

She turned to look at him, fury in her eyes, the village and the castle behind her not ruined anymore, just empty.

"You can't break the unbreakable. I fight for my friends, for my country and for myself, to have a better future. I'm not broke. I'm empty. But I know that I'm not alone. The people break if they let themself crumble, but I won't because my friends need me, he needs me"

"Aren't you tired of fighting?" he asked.

"No,"

"Come on Kaida, you can't lie to yourself," Now the person in front of her was herself. It was herself, unconsciously, she was trying to show herself she wasn't broken.

"Yes, I'm tired of fighting, but I won't stop doing it until this war is over. I won't stop until the world is safe. I won't give up,"

The other Kaida smiled. "That's what we needed to hear,"

Kaida opened her eyes to find all her friends sleeping. She smiled at them, understanding that she would do anything to save them.

🍁🍁🍁

The next day they waited until afternoon to go around the mountain. They walked for a while and then, over the top Jake spotted a cave.

"Okay, Mal and I will go to find the firebird, you stay here and make sure everything it's safe. I hope we don't take long," Alina said.

"Alina, be careful," Kaida said looking into her eyes.

Alina nodded and then the two orphans left. Kaida followed them with her eyes until they were gone.

Kaida walked towards her friends and sat with them on the green grass waiting.

"Kaida, what are you planning to do when the war is over?" Tolya asked her.

Kaida kept quiet for a few seconds. "I don't know, I guess that I will marry Nikolai," If I survive. She wanted to say.

"Ravka's queen," Jake murmured.

"Yes, it's quiet wear. I haven't had something to call mine since I was six and now I might have a whole country to call mine,"

"If you become the queen. You will make a really good queen," Harshaw said.

"Thank you," Kaida said with a small smile. "What would you do? All of you?"

"I—" Zoya didn't finish her phrase when they heard Alina screaming.

They all stood up quickly and started running towards where their two friends were.

When they arrived to where their friends were they saw the Firebird in front of them taking flight.

"That was it!" Zoya exclaimed, raising her hands to prevent the bird flying away.

Kaida looked at Alina and Mal, sadness and anger was all she could feel from them.

"Zoya, stop," Mal said. "Let it go,"

"Why? What happened? Why didn't you kill it?" Zoya asked, confused.

"Alina, what happened?" Kaida asked gently.

"It 's not the amplifier," Kaida frowned.

"How can you know that?"

Neither of them answered.

"What 's going on?" she shouted. Jake took her hand trying to calm her down.

"It's Mal," Alina finally said.

"What 's Mal?" Harshaw asked.

"Mal is the third amplifier," The words came out in a rasp, but solid.

Kaida closed her eyes understanding. She was right, the third amplifier was a person. But Mal?

"What are you talking about?" Zoya's fists were clenched.

"Zoya," Kaida called her sadly.

"We should find cover," Tolya said.

They walked back to their camp in complete silence.

"I'm going to go catch dinner," Mal said.

They didn't replay and Kaida watched him disappear in the woods.

"You must have known," Zoya said sitting next to her and Jake.

Alina didn't say anything. Kaida could understand her, she was in a really similar situation. She had met him years ago, but never realized what he was capable of. But it all made sense. The first time she lost control he wasn't there, but the rest of them... he was always there able to give her control again. He had stopped her small science more than once.

But Alina's situation was different, she needed to kill the love of her life to save Ravka. She needed to kill the only person that had been by her side her whole life.

"You could prevent that," Eleanor voice said.

"I know," Kaida said to herself. But if she was doing that at least she wanted to see Nikolai one more time. She wanted to hug him. It was the first time in her life that she was scared of death. She always thought of her as a friend, someone who would take her away from the world that too much pain caused her. But now she didn't want to leave. She had friends that loved her, she had people that would fight to protect her. She had Nikolai, and she didn't want to leave him, not again.

Kaida couldn't understand how Eleanor and the others accepted that they were going to die, she couldn't understand why they conformed with the word "die" when they could have fought for the word "live".

Kaida wasn't sure if she was going to survive after she let go of her whole power but she was sure that she would do whatever she could to save her friends. She was sure she was going to fight to survive.

Mal arrived with two big fat rabbits and he and Tolya started cleaning them and cooking them. Kaida wasn't really hungry but she forced herself to eat.

"If someone doesn't talk soon I'm going to set fire to the woods," Harshaw said after a long time in silence.

And Alina started telling them all what Baghra told her and Kaida.

"No," Alina corrected herself. "She did die that day. Baghra killed her. And Morozova brought her back."

"No one can-

"He could. It wasn't healing. It was resurrection, the same process he used to create the other amplifiers. It's all in his journals." The means of keeping oxygen in the blood, the method for preventing decay. The power of the Healer and the Fabrikator pushed to their limits and well beyond, taken to a place they were never meant to go.

"Merzost," Tolya whispered. "Power over life and death."

Kaida hated to be right, she had asked Baghra if the firebird could have been a person and she hated that she was right. Mal was a good friend and Kaida couldn't believe he was Morozova's blood.

"But the stang and the sea whip... they were ancient," Zoya said.

"Morozova chose them deliberately. They were sacred creatures—rare, fierce. His child was just an ordinary otkazat'sya girl."

"She must had survive," Kaida said, "to the plunge into the river,"

"And Morozova brought her south to the settlements," Alina continued. "She must have passed her power on to her descendants, built into their bones," she left a bitter laugh. "I thought it was me," she said. "I was so desperate to believe there was some great purpose to all this, that I didn't just...happen. I thought I was the other branch of Morozova's line. But it was you, Mal. It was always you,"

Mal looked at her for a few moments and then stood up, walked towards Alina and offered her his hand. Kaida saw how she hesitated but then took it. Mal guided her to one of the tents.

"Oh, Saints, now I have to listen to Tolya snore all night?" Zoya asked.

"You snore too," Harshaw said and Kaida fought to hide her smile. "And it isn't ladylike,"
"I do not snore," Zoya said angrily.

"Yes you do," Kaida joked.

"You shut up," Zoya said, pointing at her with an accusatory finger. "I don't snore. Do I?" she asked, turning to Jake.

"No, you don't. Don't listen to them," he said with a smile.

Kaida smiled and turned around ready to sleep.

Kaida opened her eyes to see she was in the same place she met the other Grisha.

"Kaida," Kaida rolled her eyes and turned to see her.

"What do you want now, Eleanor?" Kaida asked annoyed. "I think I left really clear what I thought the last time we met,"

"I just wanted to ask you something," Eleanor said. "Days ago you offered yourself as the Firebird if you didn't find it, you were willing to die without doubting. Why are you doing it now?"

Kaida looked at Eleanor. Was she going to tell her the truth? "Because he needs me," Kaida answered.

"He didn't need you before?" Eleanor asked, doubt on her face.

"No, he didn't," she said. "He has been by my side always even when I didn't want him. He has been there, helping me. Now he needs me and I'm not leaving him,"

"So you are letting your friend kill the man she loves,"

"I don't want Alina to kill Mal, of course I don't want to, but why do I have to give up my happiness? Why do I have to put other people's happiness over mine? I deserve to be happy," Kaida said. "Either way, why are you insisting so much to me to set my power free? If I do it I could die, that means that I only have one chance to do it. If I do it now how you are telling me and I die it would be for nothing,"

"Because I know you can survive," Eleanor said. Kaida looked at her unsure.

"It doesn't make sense. You don't know that, unless...unless you don't want us to win this war," Kaida looked at Eleanor with surprise. Eleanor said nothing. "You want him to win. You are with The Darkling,"

"You have no idea what people like the man you love did to me," Eleanor said with anger.

"I don't care," she said. "It was nice meeting you, but it's going to be the last one,"

Kaida opened her eyes, the night sky above her. The stars shining and the moon watching her.

Would she do it? Would she give up her happiness to save Alina from killing Mal?

🍁🍁🍁

The next day they left to go and meet the others.

The trip back felt shorter than Kaida expected but it took a while to find the boardinghouse where Tamar and the others had hid but Kaida was really happy when they finally found it.

Kaida saw Tolya hugging his sister strongly and Zoya giving Nadia and Adrik a small embrace. She had a small smile on her lips.

"We have news. Bad news," Tamar said.

"Tell me," Alina's happiness disappears.

"The Darkling attacked West Ravka,"

"When?"

"Almost immediately after you left. He used the Fold,"

"Did they have time to evacuate?" Kaida asked. Tamar nodded.

"There is more," Tamar's expression sended a chill over Kaida's body.

"The Darkling marched on Keramzin,"