Lost control

It was late at night, all Sturmhond's ship was silent, only the waves breaking on the sea broke that silence, and as usual, when night fell, the nightmares arrived.

It was a quiet night, something really rare in the places she was, she usually could hear the screams of the other children begging for their parents, begging to scape, but Kaida knew it was unworth it, either way, she didn't have anyone to call or anything to call home, her parents were dead and her house burned to the ground.

She was laying on the cold floor staring at the roof when the lock of her cell sounded. She looked at the door quickly, fear covering her eyes. He was there, at the door staring at her.

"Get up," he demanded and Kaida did it. She was just seven years old but she knew what would happen to her if she didn't obey. "Come on," he said and started walking. Kaida stayed in her place for a few seconds before she started following him.

He took her to the training room and made her wait in the middle of the room waiting for orders. Even with the painted glass she could feel how the other scientists and him were staring at her.

After a few minutes, he entered the training room again.

"I know what you are capable of, monster," he said looking at her with disgust but at the same time with curiosity. "I want you to do what you did one year ago,"

"I...I don't know what I did," Kaida said, shaking, because of the cold and fear.

"Liar!"he shouted, hitting her on the back with a whip. Kaida screamed in pain.

"Please, I don't know what I did," she cried. He hit her again on the back. Kaida screamed in pain, tears in her eyes.

"Stop lying, it would be worst for you," he said with no expression on his face.

"I don't know what I did," Kaida said again and again, he hitted her on the back. Kaida fell to the floor crying and he hitted her again. She screamed pain all over her body. She could feel the blood rolling down her back.

"You are an unuseless abomination and a monster," he said with anger. "No one would ever love you," he said, grabbing her by the hair, forcing her to look up. "You will be here for the rest of your miserable life,"

"Please, please, I don't want to go back!" Kaida shouted scared, moving without control on the bed.

Sturmhond got up because of her scream and ran towards Kaida, worrying covering his face.

"Please," Kaida said crying. Sturmhond took her by the shoulders trying to make her stop moving.

"Kaida, wake up," he said worriedly.

"Please! I don't know how I did it," she said, moving her arms uncontrollably. "Please! Stop!"

"Kaida, you need to wake up," Sturmhond said, shaking her, he was really worried.

"I don't want to go back there," she said again.

Sturmhond didn't know what to do, Kaida wasn't weakening up and if she continued like that she would hurt herself and he couldn't allow that.

"Please, I don't want to die," she murmured. Kaida started waking up and the only thing Sturmhond could do was look at her amused and then he pulled her into a strong hug surrounding her shaking body with his strong arms.

Kaida now was completely awake, but she did nothing to get away from him. She usually could control her reaction to her nightmares, she could relax herself but this time she couldn't, remembering how she got those scars on her back was really painful for her.

She pulled away, not wanting him to touch her, not wanting him to see her like that, crying, shaking."Let someone protect you," she remembered the words of the sea whip. She looked at Sturmhond's face which was covered in worry and hid her face in his chest. He hugged her strongly.

The truth was that she wanted to pull away, she wanted to run as far as she could, she did not want him to touch her. She did not want him to see her like that, weak, fragile, shaking but she knew that if she pulled away she would cramble, all her broken pieces would fall apart so she did not pull away this time.

After all she had gone through, someone had already seen how broken she was, and that person didn't pull away, didn't let her, thinking she was useless like he had said years ago. On the contrary, Sturmhond hugged her tighter as her body began to tremble again, with no tears falling down her cheek. "Let someone protect you" she had said and there he was, protecting her from her monsters. She wanted to stay like that for the rest of her life because he made her feel safe, protected. She was so comfortable in his arms, it felt like home. And then she realized, every time that she thought of going back to the sea, to the place she considered her home in the imagen he was always there, every time she thought of going back to the sea he was part of it and that scared her.

🦊🦊🦊

The next day neither Kaida or Sturmhond said a word from what happened at night but Kaida knew that he would want answers, answers he wouldn't get.

While Kaida was talking with Jake about trivial things, Sturmhond had told Tamar and Tolya to talk in his cabin.

"What happened?" Tamar asked, closing the door behind her.

"Last night, Kaida was sleeping and then she started screaming, she was desperate, screaming "I don't want to go back" I have never seen someone so scared. I tried to wake her up but it was impossible, she would continue screaming "I don't want to go back" until she said "I don't want to die," I then just hugged her and then she woke up. Tamar you seared room with her, did something like this happen before?" he asked with concern.

"No, never. She always woke up with fast breathings and sweating but never screaming," Tamar said also worriedly.

"She was terrified," Sturmhond said. "And I don't know why"

"Sturmhond, no one knows anything about her past but we all had seen the scars on her back," Tolya said. "Maybe is time to ask her about it,"

"She would never speak," Sturmhond said.

"Maybe not to you, but to Nikolai," Tamar said.

"No, I can't give up my identity now. We are almost in Ravka. I can't, not right now," Sturmhond said frustrated.

"Then when? When we arrive at Ravka after arriving at the Palace or before?" Tamar asked, annoyed and Sturmhond looked at her amused. "She is suffering and we don't know and you are just going to stay there doing nothing," and with those words Tamar left the cabin.

"Tamar! Do you want to throw the ax?" Kaida asked with a smile.

"Yes, of course," Tamar said, pulling apart her anger with Sturmhond and smiling.

"Jake has never thrown an ax. I thought that you could teach him, the way you teached me," she said, giving an ax to Jake.

"I'm better with guns," he said with a nervous smile.

"You'll be fine," Kaida said with a smile.

Tamar helped Jake to put the correct posture to throw and then he threw, missing the target.

"It wasn't that bad," Kaida said.

"It was pathetic," Jake said with a small smile. "Your turn," he said, giving Kaida the ax. She smiled and got ready to throw. Kaida took a deep breath and threw the ax, hitting the target in the middle.

"Yes!" she said happily. She walked towards the target and took the ax out and handed it to Tamar. "Do you think you can do better?" she asked with a mock.

"Of course," Tamar said with a smile. Tamar was about to throw when Kaida made a thread of her purple mist fly towards Tamar forcing her to get distracted and miss the center of the target. "Cheater!" Tamar said looking at her annoyed.

"Me? Never," Kaida said with a smile. "I win, you lose. Now pay," Kaida said. Tamar looked at her with borrowed eyes but still took from her pocket a bag and handed it to Kaida who smiled wider.

"Is it money?" Jake asked.

"No, better," Kaida said, opening the bag. "Shu Han almonds," she said while eating one.

"Karma will pay you," Tamar said with a smile.

"Darling, I'm Karma," Kaida said walking away with a big smile.

🦊🦊🦊

The night had already fallen when Kaida was in Sturmhond cabin and he entered.

"Good night my lady," he said with a smile taking his coat off.

"Hey clever fox," she said with a smile.

"You are in a good mood," he said, turning to her with a smile.

"I won Tamar in Throw the ax. Now I have Shu Han almonds," she said with a smile. Sturmhond laughed out loud.

"I heard that you cheated," he said walking towards her.

"I will never cheat," she said with a small smile on her face.

"You are really bad at lying," he said, taking another step closer to her.

"I'm not, I can assure you I'm not," she said with a bigger smile. Sturmhond laughed and took a step back shaking his head.

"Listen, I wanted to tell you something," he said.

"Is there something wrong?" Kaida asked with a frown, noting how nervous he was.

"No, no, everything it's okay. I just wanted to tell you..."

"Sturmhond, I'll do it," Alina said entering the cabin without knocking. "I will wear the second amplifier,"

"Didn't someone show you how to knock?" Kaida asked, lifting her brow.

"Sorry. I can come back later," she said ashamed.

"No, don't worry. Let's go," Sturmhond said walking out of the cabin. Kaida rolled her eyes and followed after him.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" the Fabrikator asked Sturmhond, nervous about putting the sea whip scales in Alina's wrist.

"Of course not," said Sturmhond. "Anything worth doing always starts as a bad idea," he answered. Kaida rolled her eyes.

The Fabrikator put the scales on Alina's wrist and nothing happened.

"Huh," Sturmhond murmured. "I thought the end of the world would be more exciting." Kaida smiled at his words.

"Stand back," Alina said.

Alina summoned the light. It came from every direction, from a million stars, from a sun still hidden below the horizon. It came with relentless speed and furious intent.

The light that Alina was summoning became uncontrolled and dangerous. Beginning to crash against the waves of the sea. All the people around them began to back away worried about what would happen.

A beam of light hit Kaida causing a burn to appear on her arm. Kaida screamed from the pain but Alina's light was still totally uncontrolled.

"Alina!" Mal yelled.

The light began to get bigger and more dangerous. Sturmhond without hesitation walked towards Kaida and covered her with his body.

"Alina!" Mal shouted again and this time he was able to wrap his arms around Alina causing the light to fade away.

"Are you okay?" Sturmhond asked Kaida looking at her burned arm.

"I'm fine. Just another scar on my body," she said, lifting her shoulders.

Sturmhond nodded and turned towards Alina and Mal "Well, Summoner," said Sturmhond, a slight wobble to his voice, "you certainly know how to put on a show."

"Yes, that was quite an awesome show of light, but the next time try not to burn me. I already have enough scars on my body," Kaida said with a smile.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't want to hurt you," Alina said.

"Don't worry little sunshine. I'm fine," Kaida said. "Now, if you excuse me. I'm tired and a really comfortable bed is waiting for me,"

"You have a bed?" Alina asked. "I have to sleep in a hammock," she said with a smile.

"Advantages of sleeping in Sturmhond's cabin," With those words Kida left to sleep, but the truth was that she couldn't sleep. Not until Sturmhond got inside the cabin.