what did I say guys, SCP-113 is too powerful

oBJECT cLASS: safe

special containment procedures: 113 is to be kept in standard storage in Site-23. You can touch it, but only with gloves, because 

reasons that are yet to be revealed

no living things should come in contact with 113 without permission

no multi-celled organism may near or touch 113 without the okay from a higher-up

no living creature that has more than one cell and is indeed  deemed a living organism may be geographically near or come into contact by touching or forced contact with the anomalous object known as 'SCP-113' or informally known as the 'Gender-Switcher' without prior approval from an individual or several individuals that are are on a higher level than than the person intending to expose a multi-celled organism that may or may not be sentient to the anomalous object known and logged as 'SCP-113'.

increasingly verbose

personal exposed to 113 are to be kept under medical observation for seven days or a week which is the same thing

if there are people who believe that the earth is flat do they think there are seven days in a week

because if the earth was flat there would be no days in a week

we'd all be dead

simply due to a little thing called gravity, you guys heard of it?

how did you go from increasingly verbose to painfully sarcastic

i don't know man, I'm just trying to finish this so I can go pirate episodes of sherlock online

Description: it's a piece of red jasper 

but it's not made of jasper

okay but if you say that it's a shiny rock but then you say it's not made of rock

it's not a rock

rocks are made of rocks that's why they're rocks

at this point it's 

mineral filled with not mineral

*slow clapping*

yeah you got it, you did it 

you unlocked the secrets of the universe

very good

now this is the part where it gets real funky

when 113 comes into contact with something that has sex  chromosomes

you are not going to have a fun time because 

it changes it 

it fucking changes it

yea

if anyone is wondering, sex  chromosomes determine what sex  you are

genderfluid and non-binary people, or something else I've never heard of: don't go after me; it's just science

whoa there buddy, it's just science

it changes your sex  and physical characteristics associated with gender and biological sex  (including genetics)

the process occurs in four stages:

Stage One: lasts for 0.2 seconds. (which doesn't make it any better but you know. ) 113 bonds with the cells it touches (a fucking rock has more friends than me) and causes a mild burn by calling your mother fat

and it cannot be removed until this process is finished.

Stage Two: lasts 20 seconds. 113 emits a low-intensity  electromagnetic wave which travels through your body and makes you throw up

gee, thanks jesus.

'electromagnetic' 

you know, I know a big word too

antidisestablishmentarianism.

and that's a real word.

Stage Three: this is where everything gets fucked  up

lasts about one minute but it's a painful minute

almost as painful as that one minute unskippable ad hindering your ability to watch a new episode of whatever you watch

fuck  you, league of legends. I just want to watch 'the history of the entire world I guess' for the fifth time in a row

anyway

during the last  ~twenty seconds  everything just starts hurting. A lot.

'cause why not?

"Subjects in poor health may die of shock during this stage"

That implies a lot

At the end of this stage, the subject's  sex  is permanently altered, usually  to the opposite one.

I mean, usually. Sometimes things get fucked up on the way there, but life is like that.

Stage Four: Everything is peachy and 113 becomes inert.

Subjects with weird sex  chromosomes (Like intersex  people) are affected in uNpREdictABLE ways by 113.

With intersex people, it appears to be influenced by gender identity, or they might be unaffected, or they might explode. I don't know. Depends. 

"Whether SCP-113 alters its effect based on the presence of a nonstandard gender identity is under investigation."

So apparently 113 doesn't affect gender identity.

Fun.

In subjects that aren't human, like komodo dragons (big lizards, basically) 113 messes up their chromosomes so that instead of ZZ/ZW 

(Females have ZW/XY; Males have ZZ/XX) 

they have WW, which seriously fucks them up, literally, there's a really long reason why but yeah. They're dead.

For nematodes, exposure lead to no males being produced even though they can totally be dudes naturally. (Although they are rare)

I guess they became feminists.

Subjects that can only be one sex  (Earthworms, for example) aren't affected by 113, it just stops at Stage two. Lucky.

Hey, remember when I said earlier, about it being permanent? Fuck  that, you can totally become exposed to 113 again. 

It's just that you have a higher rate of dying. 

No biggie.

Usually it's death by internal trauma or bleeding. A lot.

like I said, no big deal. Happens all the time.

hey guys look what I've got

gtg, I need to pirate sherlock from the deep web