Fragmented in dolor, Wedged by trauma

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"She is in a coma now"

I froze. Everything around me froze. As if time had stopped ticking it's signal to the clock.

Everyone turned to look at me with a worried expression. I didn't move, I just stared at the doctor with a blank expression, eyes glued, lips parted into a small gap.

My heart fell. Everyone was asking questions, I could feel it but they just sounded faint. My lips started quivering in horror as I came back to reality. I tried to respond but a lump was caught in my throat.

"She is transferred to room 2004" The nurse informed.

I did not bother to look at anybody or respond to their questions and rushed to find the room. As soon as I found the room, I entered

It was the most painful picture I could ever imagine of....

There she was. The girl I constantly neglected, abused, hurt and made her suffer. Not bothering to listen to her, I kept calling her a liar, slut and what not. Yet she continued loving me.

Then again here she was lying down hooked with machines keeping track of her body parts. This all caused because she wanted to save me from getting hit by a car. She was terribly pale and looked lifeless.

But not a single drop of tear fell from my eyes. The guilt had taken over me in such a way that I cannot even shed a tear cause it's my fault at the end of the day.

Shuffling noise was heard front the other side of the door while I stood there looking at her with a mixture of guilt and pain.

The door opened and the girls and boys entered the room. Baekhyun came in at the end while I just stood there with no expression only eyes responding.

Baekhyun's eyes filled with tears at the sight of his sister. He went up to her and kissed her forehead. Jin hyung came up to me and patted my shoulder but I did not avert my eyes from her. Baekhyun sat on the bed beside her and caressed her hair. A sense of nostalgia ran through my veins as a memory came back.

***

I reached Y/N's house. I was missing her bad, so a visit wouldn't mind. I entered the house to be greeted by a smiling middle aged woman. I smiled back at her saying

"Hello aunty!"

"Hello dear, Y/N is upstairs doing God knows what maybe you want to join her" She said giving me a playful grin

My ears turned red as I heard her words and she let out a chuckle. I just nodded and head upstairs. I entered the room with a creaking sound just to be met by silence with light breathing flowing through.

"Y/N?" I said entering

I looked at her bed and saw weight her placed on it with her back facing the door. I went forward to get a better view of the front. My heart instantly fluttered, there she was sleeping peacefully like a baby while getting squeezed up among cushions.

I sat down beside her while I caressed her hair. My heart was fluttering as I kept on admiring the beautiful picture ahead of me. Suddenly, she moved a bit as she slowly opened her eyes slightly rubbing them.

"Oh Jungkook" She said in a sleepy voice

"Yes?" I asked rubbing thumb on her cheek

She gave me the cutest grin I have ever seen. How much more cute can she get!?

"Lay beside me" She requested

I smiled as I took off my shoes and tucked into the bed sheets with her, wrapping my arms around her while she snuggled up into my chest.

She wrapped one arm around me and went back to sleep again. I chuckled at her childish behaviour and tightly held her in my embrace

***

My eyes glossed up the memory. I did not notice Baekhyun had got up already and was looking at me. I saw the nurse standing beside him

"Only one person is allowed to stay and watch over her. Everyone else has to leave as per hospital rules" The nurse informed

"I will stay then, you all go" Baekhyun suggested

I instantly blinked my eyes as I spoke in objection of the suggestion.

"No! I will stay. I am not leaving her"

I went to the beside her and took her small hands in my hands as I tightly squeeze them. I looked at her while pressing the back of her hands against my cheeks. The coldness caused me to shiver.

Everyone heaved a sigh of defeat. Everyone started leaving. The boys left with a heavy heart, the girls left bawling their eyes out. But Baekhyun had a mixture, it had both sadness and worry.

I was too focused on her to listen to anybody as they bid goodbyes to me. After everyone left my tears slowly started to fall at the close physical distance but a very far mental distance.

"I'm sorry" I uttered

Even though she could not hear me but I had to let it out

Guilt, Grief and Desperation. The worst combination of feelings. These are the most destructive emotions a human can experience. Jungkook was feeling all at the same time.

"I'm sorry, I'm really really sorry Y/N, I am extremely sorry" He broke down

He knew she could not hear him, he knew she was lost in the world of dreams balancing between the seesaw of life and death. But the guilt in him was all he could think of at the moment.

"I'm sorry for not trusting you, I'm sorry for hurting you and not treating you well like the way you deserve it"

"You did not deserve any of what you faced, none of it! Only if I didn't be such a selfish jerk then y-you would have been all safe and sound. But here you are facing the consequences of risking your life while saving mine" Jungkook said while crying his heart out.

He constantly kissed her hand as he apologised to the fullest. He knew she would not respond but a little hope in him still existed. He got up as he went near her face. He placed a soft kiss on her forehead. He kissed her cheeks while sobbing uncontrollably, her neck and last stop to her lips. After placing soft kisses all over he attached her forehead with his.

"I love you... I really do, please don't leave. I need you. I can't loose you... please come back...please" He begged

Detaching himself from her, he took back his position.

Y/N was all hooked up in machines. A monitor controlling her pulse rate and heartbeat. The signals from her body being controlled by another monitor. Pipes supplying oxygen to her while her entire body is bandaged to cover the deep wounds. She was a complete disaster.

Jungkook looked at her while crying for almost 2 hours without leaving her hand. Until he could not control anymore, his eyelids went heavy and he fell asleep.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

"Jungkook! Jungkook" A voice said while shaking him

Jungkook's fluttered open as he jumped to look at his side to be met by a peacefully layed down Y/N but that was not it of the panic.

"What happened?! Did something happen to her??! Is she okay??!" He asked in panic while checking her

"She is absolutely fine! It's morning, go freshen up and eat breakfast" The person said

"I am fine Baekhyun hyung, it's okay.." He said and held Y/N's hand a placed a soft kiss on her palms.

Baekhyun let out a frustrated sigh and immediately spat at him

"I am not asking you! I am telling you and it's an order if you want to stay with her! I don't want her to be surrounded with stinky people!" He said

Jungkook looked up at him as he got up and nodded. He went towards the bathroom and opened it to see all his appliances ready. He got in and starting to freshen up.

Baekhyun smiled at the activity of the younger. He looked at his sister and his eyes softened as a lone tear fell from his eyes.

"Hey chubs! Get well soon, it's boring, no one to annoy me. Miss you sis" He said sadly as he kissed her forehead

Jungkook heard it all from the bathroom which made him feel more guilty. But he was not going to give up on her.

After a session of hygienic treatment Jungkook came out only to be greeted by the smell of fresh pancakes. He looked and saw Baekhyun plating up.

"Oh Jungkook your done, lets eat and it's an order again" He said knowing the younger would deny

Jungkook quietly obeyed him and sat on the table of the cabin. He set himself up in a position where he can keep a watch on Y/N.

"So how are you?" Baekhyun asked while pouring a glass of juice

"Guilty" Jungkook uttered honestly

Baekhyun sighed feeling pity for the person before him.

"Not going to lie, you should be. But it was not wholly your fault either. Fate was unfair to my sister and you were it's pawn in the game" He said making an attempt to comfort him.

"It is wholly my fault! Only if I trusted her then none of this would have happened" Jungkook said frustrated

"Whatever! Now eat" Baekhyun ordered

Jungkook's curiousity was killing him. So he decided to ask

"Why at you being so nice to me? I am your sister's culprit"

Baekhyun sighed yet again. He put down his spoon and fork as he looked up at Jungkook to explain his curious eyes.

"My sister loves you and I would never no anything that hurts her. Also even if I do so, there are chances she will beat me up and trust me it's painful" He said laughing

Jungkook was speechless. He looked down to him feet in embarrassment.

"But wanna know something?" Baekhyun said catching attention

His aura was not playful as before. He had turned dark. His eyes were disappointed as a hint of anger cornered them.

The next words he spoke shook Jungkook almost making him choke on air.

"I know you tried to raped her"

(EDITED)

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