Gran and Grandpa left a while ago to get some lunch. It was just me and Jensen, and it was the most awkward thing I've ever experienced. I couldn't even bear to look at him. He may not have known it, but he's still the man that abandoned me. He coughed uneasily to get my attention. I looked at him briefly and then became increasingly interested in the familiarity of my hands.

"I uh... I got you flowers. I don't know what flowers you liked, but I got your mum's favourite. Hyacinths." He said. I gave him a death glare then started looking angrily at the wall. He fumbled about for the flowers and held them out for me. I scoffed, took the flowers, and shoved them in the bin next to me. He looked down sadly and sighed. "Okay, maybe I deserved that."

"Mum always hated those flowers. Now I know why." I pointed out. He rubbed his eyes in defeat.

"You really hate me, don't you?" He asked.

"I looked up to you." I exhaled in disbelief, now looking at him. "Now all I can see is the man that didn't give my mum the benefit of the doubt. All I can see is some dick who abandoned my mum when she was at the most vulnerable."

"I get that. I do. But she was the one who walked out on me. Not the other way around. You should've been there for the last time we saw each other. All those times she called, I thought she was going to scream at me for something that I didn't even do." He said calmly.

"But you could've heard her out." I told him, as if I were begging for him to understand.

"I know." He admitted.

"And the worst part is that she couldn't have meant that much to you. You seemed to move on really easily with your career, and now you're married and have a kid you love. You don't even need me." I said, with tears cascading down my cheeks.

"That's where you're completely one hundred percent wrong. I didn't move on easily. It killed me. I thought I would never get better. I had to act because it was the only thing that kept me sane. It's the only thing where I could pretend to be someone I'm not, even if it was for a second. And yes, maybe I have a wife who I love just as much as your mother, and yes, maybe I have a beautiful little girl with her, but I had one with your mother too. I just didn't know that. Luna, you can be in love with more than one person in your lifetime. As long as they don't overlap, that's okay. Please don't think for one second that I don't need you in my life. I've already lost 17 years of it. I can't lose any more." He said. I wiped some tears away and sniffed.

"How the hell am I supposed to believe you?" I mumbled.

"I don't know. But if you give me a shot I'm sure you'll believe me eventually. Luna, I would never in a million years hurt you intentionally. You gotta believe that." He said. I subtly shrugged and looked away again. It was uncomfortably quiet until the doctor walked in about half an hour later.

"Miss Fox, you're free to go." He said. I nodded my head. I was already dressed, and I just wanted to get out of this room. I instantly got out of bed after the doctor explained to me and Jensen the exercises I had to do and then I stormed out of there with him on my heel. We met up with my grandparents in the hospital cafe. They looked up at me with sadness in their eyes. I guess the death of my mother was finally catching up with them. For me though, it's all I've been able to think about. Well, that and Jensen.

I sat down opposite my Gran and Jensen sat next to me, sitting opposite Grandpa. He obviously felt the unnecessary need to speak up. "How are you two holding up?" He asked. I wanted to square him right in the jaw. I'm so sick of that question popping up everywhere I go.

"Well, we're managing. I just... I can't believe-" Gran started before getting a little choked up.

"It's okay, Gran. She wouldn't have wanted you to be upset. Not you. She always loved how strong and put together we were. The proper women of the family." I said, laying my hand over hers gently, a small gesture that all of us do in our family. Jensen seemed to look at our hands and smiled sadly. I didn't say anything though. He wasn't worth my time. I just can't help shake the feeling that he shouldn't feel sad. He had no right to.

"I know. I'm just being silly." Gran said. Jensen shook his head.

"You're not being silly. You're in grief, Pearl." Jensen said. What the hell gave him the right to call her by her first name? Wasn't that just disrespectful? Gran didn't seem to think so...

"Oh, you're such a good boy Jensen. I've got to say, you grew up into such a lovely man." She said. I stood up, rather abruptly.

"Can I go outside, Gran? I need a bit of fresh air." I requested. She nodded her head with a sad smile on her face. I knew they were gonna talk about me while I was gone. Honestly, I was expecting it. I just needed to get out of that stupid hospital. I needed to get away from Jensen.

I turned on my heel and walked out the glass doors. There was a bench outside where loads of nurses and doctors sat when they were taking a break. I saw them a couple of times outside my window. Some of them even smoke. Pretty ironic considering the location of the place. Weren't there rules against that? Wouldn't they know first-hand what smoking does to you? I went and sat down on the wooden seat and tugged at my sleeves. It was a habit I did when I was nervous or upset. But right now, mainly I was just fuming mad.

I remember one time my mum told me that as a really young kid – so young that I didn't even remember this – that when I was angry I used to hold my breath until I went red at the face and blue at the lips. I was mainly angry because things didn't go my way. I'm wondering now if one of those times was because I wanted to see daddy. If only I knew back then how much I didn't want that.

And it's not even like Jensen's a bad guy, you know? It's just that he was everything I didn't want when I was growing up alive and in the flesh. And I didn't want him when he didn't turn up to my singing recitals, or when he didn't turn up to my parents evening. He never sent me a stupid card for my birthday or even a phone call when I got my first A in my exams. He was never there. And who knows? Maybe if he was there at that parent's evening a couple of nights ago, maybe none of this would ever have happened.

I was out there for a good fifteen minutes until I heard some hospital staff grumble. I knew they wanted their bench, so I rolled my eyes and got up. I walked inside the hospital again to see Jensen smiling at something Grandpa was telling him. I hate this. I hate all of it. I sauntered up to them.

"And that's when she let out the most ear-piercing scream in the middle of her assembly." He explained. I couldn't remember what the hell it was that he was talking about. Frankly, I didn't care. I just wanted to leave the hospital. As if reading my mind, Gran suggested we did exactly that.

"Okay, sweetie, you go in Jensen's car and we'll meet you back at our place." Grandpa said.

"Seriously?" I asked angrily.

"What's the matter?" Gran asked in shock, a little taken aback at my sudden outburst.

"I've just been in a car accident that killed my mother. I don't exactly want to go in a car with someone I barely know and haven't seen drive before." I said with tears in my eyes. Okay, I might be sounding completely and totally spoilt, but I really didn't want to be in a car with him.

"Honey, you're going to get in a car with him eventually anyway." Gran said. Good point. I thought. "Besides, when he was learning to drive, he was so safe. Safer than that guy in the show you like." She continued. I didn't even wanna know what show she was talking about in case it was Supernatural. But if that was the case, then he'd better be a safer driver than Dean.

I grudgingly got in the car with him and we drove to my grandparent's house. It was more awkward than it was unsafe, but I'd still rather be with my grandparents. Actually, thinking about it – I'd rather I was in the morgue with my mother. No. I couldn't think like that. Mum would go mental. She'd probably say something like "Luna Genesis Fox, how dare you say something like that? Now, you go and live the best life you can possibly live and excel in everything you do or I will come back and I will haunt you." The thought of that actually made me muster a smile. It quickly faded when I noticed Jensen turning to look at me.

"You look just like her, you know." Jensen pointed out. I rolled my eyes. I really didn't want to have this conversation. "Especially your smile." He added. Crap. I thought. Why did he have to see me smile? It's the last thing I need. Besides, he'd probably think about how horrible I am to smile at a time like this.

"Okay." I said tersely. I literally wanted the ground to swallow me whole. I didn't want to have a conversation with him about my looks. I didn't want him to see my eyes and say that I have the best eyes in the world. I don't want him congratulating each strand of hair I have for being on my head. I just don't. I wish I had nothing to do with him.

Jensen turned into our road. He seemed so familiar with it but it was my home. Each leaf on a tree has a different memory for me. Huh, I thought. That could be a good lyric. Maybe writing some songs when I got in would help me calm down. "Wow. I haven't been here in so long." Jensen said, snapping me out of my thoughts. He pointed at the tree outside my grandparent's house as we parked. "We carved our initials on that tree one time. It was so cheesy, but we were kind of a cheesy couple. I wonder if it's still there." He continued. I wanted nothing more than to drown him out, but how could I? His constant yapping and awaiting my approval was doing my head in. I got out of the rental car and made my way to the door. I turned around to see Jensen staring at the tree. He looked as though he was about to cry. Well, good. I couldn't stand the guy. But how dare he mourn for my mother?

I walked in and saw my grandparent's chatting. They acknowledged me, sure, but they were so lost in their conversation that they probably couldn't talk to me. I feel like I'm losing everybody. I went to the room I've stayed in since I was a little girl. It was practically my second room. I came here all the time as a kid. It overlooked the street, and I still saw Jensen standing by the tree from outside the window. He kissed his fingers and then traced the carving. JA+PF. Jensen Ackles and Phoenix Fox. I suppose it's best not to think about how they met and when they carved that, but nonetheless I was still curious.

I sat down on my bed and got out my notebook. It contained heaps and heaps of songs I had since I was around 13. The pages were a bit worn and I even ripped a couple out over the years. I smiled at the memory of when my mum gave it to me. It was for my birthday, and even though it's just a notebook you could get at any shop, it meant a lot to me. She bought some amazing pens to go with it, and a guitar. I was so happy. I flipped to a spare piece of paper on the notebook and started writing.

When I was a kid, an angel came to me,

He said "Where you going? If only you could see."

My whole world was torn in two,

I had a distorted point of view

But that won't matter, because you'll be here soon.

Little girl you'll be okay,

Those asphalt tears will fade away,

Just because rain seems like tiny tears to me,

It doesn't matter – 'cause one day happy's what you'll be.

I stopped writing at that point seeing as Jensen walked in. I felt so self-conscious about doing anything in front of him. I flipped my notebook shut and put it in its usual spot – and of course, Jensen asked me questions about it. "What's that?" He asked.

"None of your business." I snapped. It was one of my only possessions I was insanely protective over. There was no way I would ever let him know about it. He'd probably fondle it like he fondled the tree. He looked kind of hurt, but it still didn't affect me. I just didn't care. He seemed to divert his gaze to my guitar. It was made of painted and varnished blue wood and it had stickers all over it. It was a mix between an acoustic and electric guitar. I loved it with all my heart.

"Wow. Cool guitar. I have one of my own." He commented. I rolled my eyes.

"What are you even doing in my room?" I asked. He cleared his throat.

"Pearl and Nick told me that we were sharing." He answered. Perfect. This is going to be as good as Hitler sharing a room with Martin Luther King Jr. I forgot that this was a 2-bedroom house. Usually I shared this room with my mum. I never really thought I'd ever be sharing a room with Jensen Ackles. I really wish I never had to. He was about to sit on mum's bed. I widened my eyes.

"No!" I suddenly exclaimed.

"What is it?" He asked.

"You can have the one closest to the door. I'll have the one by the window." I said. If anyone was going to be on mum's bed tonight, it would be me. He doesn't deserve the pleasure. He looked at me a bit weirdly at that.

"I thought that was your bed." He said, pointing to the one closest to the door. I shrugged.

"It is. But I want mum's bed right now." I said casually. He sat down on my bed – which I hated – and sighed.

"Sweetie-" He began.

"Don't call me that." I said, sticking my pointer finger in his direction. He sighed, looked down, and then licked his lips in which I could only assume was an attempt to keep himself in line.

"Luna," He corrected. "I just think that your mum wouldn't have wanted this. I don't think she would've wanted you to sleep on her bed to cheer you up. I don't think she would've even wanted you to be upset, as difficult as that may seem, and I don't think she would've wanted you to resent anyone." He said. I rolled my eyes.

"You're unbelievable. She spent seventeen years trying to keep us apart. She resented you herself. She resented the man who made her so unhappy. Who couldn't even be a father to his children. Why should I suddenly forgive you for all the years of abandonment?" I asked. My eyes were already glistening with tears again. I couldn't even see him. All I could see were shapes and colours blurred by the salty water filling my eyes. I could just feel his eyes on me.

"If I knew...," He started. I could hear his voice breaking. "I never would have left."

"But you did. You did and you left me and my mum all on our own. Do you know how badly you hurt her? I didn't even know you were real until after she passed away." I bit at him. After the stinging tears fell from my eyes I could see the confused and hurt look on his face.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"My grandparents had to tell me the truth. My mum said that whoever my dad was – he was just a drunken mistake. But you know what's ironic? It's me who's the mistake. If I never existed none of this would ever have happened." I answered with venom dripping off my tongue. I stormed out of the room, went downstairs, took my jacket I always kept here for when my mum was busy working night shifts, and left the house. I didn't really know where I was going. I just knew that I needed a bit of a break from everyone. I was getting pretty sick and tired of Jensen – and I was sick of my grandparents sticking up for him all the time. My dark hair swished behind me in the breeze as I made my way around a corner. I literally bumped into someone I was so out of it. I looked up to see who the body I bumped into belonged to.

"Luna, what's up?" Kyle, the owner of the local coffee shop asked. He was around my age – maybe a little older – and he let me play there when I was desperate for the cash. Once he saw my face, he looked at me sadly.

"Not much." I lied. My eyes were red and my cheeks were tear-stained, never mind all the bruises and cuts and scratches inhabiting my face and arms. He could see past the bull shit like it was a damn window.

"Listen, I was just about to set up for someone's set tonight. You wanna come?" He asked. I nodded my head and wiped a stray tear off my face. As we began walking, he started talking again. "You sure you don't wanna open up to me? I fill your mouth with coffee. You might as well empty the words." He said. A strange analogy, sure, but I scoffed and started spilling a bit of the truth.

"It's just that my whole life sucks and then this happens," I say, gesturing to my face. "and I think things have to get better, but right now it's a mess. I met my dad." I told him. We don't know much about each other. We're just on a first name basis. But he sucked in some air sympathetically.

"Did he do that to you?" He asked. I shook my head.

"No. The worst part is that he's actually a decent guy. Just... it would be so much easier if he wasn't." I said. When we got to the coffee shop, I helped set up the instruments. That was something I was good at when I couldn't pick things up.

Maybe right now, music is my only friend. But that's okay. With music, I can always make new ones. And maybe that's exactly what I needed to do.

A/N:

Hello everyone. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It'll get more exciting in later chapters, I swear. Please tell me what you think of this story. It would mean a lot. And thank you to deer3123 for being so awesome. I feel like she should totally be my story's sponsor. :P

Anyway, enjoy, comment, vote, subscribe, and don't hesitate to talk to me about anything. It could be about the story, your thoughts about it, your ideas for it, your personal lives, anything! And most of all, take care of yourselves you beautiful people. Until the next chapter guys! :D