The fight with Oikawa must be your illness because your palms are sweating and your heart is in your throat, strumming an erratic tune on your chest any time you so much as blink. "Did I get it all right?" The only good part about this was supposed to be Iwaizumi, and it was for ten full minutes in the restaurant. But you have always been naive for the mere thought of Ema. You never thought this could be used agaisnt you simply because there never was a reason to. "You did, thank you." You're towards the front now, beside a big window marked with the shop's logo. Oikawa is the only person in front of you; Ema hasn't stepped in here even though she said she would; and Iwaizumi has been in the bathroom for over ten minutes. Oikawa's smile shines down on the already lit table, it seems to light it more and make the reality of your situation dig deeper into your skin. "Okay, it'll be out soon. Have a nice date, you two."

You moue, nails curling into your palm before hearing a few words of reprieve from your enemy. "It's not a date." The waitress must show shock, her voice conveys it for your downturned eyes. "Oh, excuse me, I didn't mean to offend-" "No, I'm not offended, but she probably is." You look to him then, unease on your features as you note his eyes on yours, brown and warm. You look to the waitress, back to him, then bow your head at the waitress in pure embarrassment. When she leaves, you bite, "What was that, Oikawa?" He shrugs. "I didn't lie. You hated knowing she thought this was a date-" "And you didn't? You're dating Ema-" "I'm no-" "I have to go." Iwaizumi is jittery, has been since he got to the restaurant, but as he grabs his backpack and jacket, he's the epitome of a teenager's first lie. "What-" "I'm so sorry, my family is having problems; you understand, right? I promise I'll make it up to you!" For ten minutes, less than, maybe the first second before seeing Oikawa, you were good.

Now, you're not because you're a good friend, you're going to let Iwaizumi go at the expense of your pleasure because he wouldn't just make up an excuse to get you and Oikawa together; Ema is coming, Ema is here right now- "Guess it's just the two of us now-" "Is Ema just not coming or..." His features give way to little shock before shaking his head. "I thought Ema told you, she lost a bet yesterday and is now practicing v-ball drills." Your face gives way to much shock. "And you didn't think to tell me?" "It wasn't my job to tell you, you should've already known from Ema!"

You can't argue with him over this, and you can't leave because you're a regular here and like their ramen. It's mainly for the ramen. "Sorry, okay, I just really wanted Ema here- I don't like being alone." He nods. "You mean with me-" "No, I mean in general. I like people who talk and who aren't egotistical with their wins and actually care for me and don't abandon me in my time of need." Oikawa swallows, you hear it and see his Adam's apple bob. With your back slouched agaisnt the chair's back, you move a hand to touch your own throat, arm wrapped across your midsection to balance it. "I don't like being alone either. I hurt myself too much in my pursuit to beat myself. It's so exhausting having a mind." You nod. "Yeah... I think we were supposed to be simpler beings." He smiles, you watch it, the way his lips split for white teeth, comically white teeth, and the corners of his lips crease, and his cheeks dimple ever-so-slightly. You purse your lips, straightening in your chair with your hands left on your skirt, twitching against the fabric.

"So, simpler being on a not-date with me, who gave you your not-so-simple mind?" Your brows furrow, a little crease to your lips as you repeat, "Not-so-simple mind?" He nods. "Mine was probably my mom. She's raised me on her own for some time now, I shouldn't hate her for it, and I don't really, but... I hate that it has to be this way." He's vulnerable, and you don't feel an urge to pick at his emotions, you don't feel an urge to scurry past this topic, nor do you want to apologize for his upbringing. Instead, you almost feel grateful that Oikawa is so human, that, even if your heart aches for her, Ema will have someone so soft and delicate to touch her, to care for her in a way you might. Of course, you now feel like a parent of Ema's forced to extract information from Ema's boyfriend. "Mine was my mom too, I think. My dad's really kind. He's forcing me to do what I want to do because I'm the last child he really has to worry about, but my mom..."

"I'm sorry for your loss." Your brows furrow, offense mistaken on your brows as you reply, "She's not dead-" "Still, I'm sorry for all the memories you lost before they even started." Oikawa Toru is smarter than you. To you, it's not obvious in his clothes, his appearance, his height, or brown eyes that refuse to leave yours, but in his words. Without your preconceived notions, you know every part of him conveys his intelligence, but still, you never thought Oikawa could read you without a looking glass. "You're a menace to society." He smiles, and it's light and fluffy and your cheeks burn slightly, rivaling the sun as he nods, agreeing with you, "I'd like to think that yes." Unfortunately, or fortunately, everything goes smoothly after that, you substitute bickering with playful banter, you both have a source of satisfaction when the food comes, and you both are smiling idiots enjoying each other's company so much so you almost forget you're with your enemy.

"So, you want to be a writer?" You nod, a smile on your lips as you set your chop sticks down. "Yeah, my dad says I should do what I want, like, without a- a safety net. It's- It's so different than what my mom told me. She was always worried, and she's the one who comes from a better-off background. My dad had to go through so much but she..." Looking at your empty ramen bowl, you can almost see your mother's love in it, so tiny and so little and too much for you. "I'm really better off without her, but sometimes I can't help thinking she never left. I mean, I think it was really her dream to be a writer, and she was the one who introduced me to ramen, and she was always better at math than my dad..." You look to Toru then, not out of rue or perturbance, but curiosity almost. "Am I... Is it wrong for me to not want to be like her? Am I supposed to be happy that people assume I have both parents? What if I turn out like a carbon copy of her-" "I'm exactly like my father."

He swallows, it's firm and you can almost feel the pressure forced upon his throat in your own. "I mean looks and personality and I- I can't get over it. I can't do anything to change my appearance and I tried; I am trying to get over my personality, but I- I can barely do that..." He looks down to his bowl of ramen. He has a bite left, but he sets his chopsticks down, almost glaring down at his food as he finalizes, "It took me a while, but I realized as I tried to change myself, I became more of him than he ever was; I became his father..." He looks to you then, it's slow and almost agonizing before his hues are on yours, and you think there's never been anything wrong with him in the first place, it was always just you. "I should tell my mom to stop comparing me to him, should make her stop, but I'm not there yet. I'm not ready to not be like my father because it's the last piece I really have of him... And I'm not really saying this to comfort you, but I'm- I'm saying it because I feel like I can..." He takes a breath, and his final confession rings in your ears, "With you, I feel like I can do anything."

Notes: I wrote this very much days apart, so sorry if it's blotchy ಥ_ಥ