N E T H E R L A N D S

I AM SO, SO, SO SORRY! MY INTERNET CONNECTION WAS REALLY CRAPPY, AND I WAS SO BUSY WITH SCHOOL WORK AND HOME STUFF!

Thx GiuliaWidow! Sorry for the very delayed update, like the Black Widow movie.

After a rough day, walking atleast 10 miles, looking out for Ross's agents, Steve and Natasha arrived back to their hotel, carrying weeks worth of food and ammunitions. It was a small room, with a working AC and a jacuzzi. Whenever one of them had a nightmare or was bored, they would just turn it on and relax in the bubbling hot water.

It was nearly 11 PM, so they decided to go to sleep right away. They took off their boots, jackets and all weapons they had stashed in their clothes, which made sitting and standing up uncomfortable.

'It's beautiful, isn't it?' He heard Natasha's brittle voice. 'Under these circumstances did we ever get here.'

Steve turned to his right and saw Natasha looking out of the small hotel's window and towards the quiet, streetlight-luminated streets. 'I'm sorry. About everything. With Tony and Buck-- '

'It's not your fault,' she said, wiping a small tear forming in her left eye. 'I knew what would happen. You don't have to say anything to make up.' 

He nodded his head absentmindedly. 'Call it a day?', he said, patting the bed, 'You look exhausted.'

She chuckled. 'Sure, Cap.'

Though he didn't show it, that nickname made his whole body tense. 'Yes.'

Natasha saw through his façade. She frowned. 'Hey,' she climbed over to the other side of the bed, wrapping her arms around his neck, resting her head over his shoulder. 'It's not the best right now, but I'm here. Always.'

He smiled sadly. 'You were always there.'

She kissed his nose, ruffled his hair and went to sleep. She was certain she felt his skin tinge a bit when her lips touched the tip of nose.

It was silly, almost laughable, but they always somehow managed to speak through almost no words. It was years worth of comradeship and training every day, which made it surprisingly easy. No words, just their eyes and smiles or scowls. He was an open book, now every single chapters of his life drowned, with no new leaves to turn over. She was a Pandora's box; it was better to keep her locked away. But now, they could write their own story, together. A new life.

~

It was now completely dark, with the pearly moon shining through their windows, illuminating the room with a soft glow. Both of them were soundly asleep, for now.

Small room. Ballerinas. Pointe shoes. Guns. A man with a duffel bag on his head.

BANG!

( Bold and Italics mean flashback and in Russian. )

'Shoot, Natalia. Prove your worthiness.'

--

A group of girls scowling at her, punching her jaw, pulling her hair, pinning her to the ground while her arms twisted on her back.

'Wonder what Madame B sees in that pathetic bitch. Maybe she is a charity case for them.'

'She is always with the Winter Soldier. I bet she is doing more than shining his shoes. Disgusting whore.'

'Not so perfect now, huh? Are you crying? Weak.'

SLAP!

One of the other girls, Katrina, leaned down and slapped Natasha across her face.

'Please. I--I can't breathe . . . Let me-- AAAHHH!'

--

'Boy, it must be hard to  shake the "double agent" thing, huh? Sticks in the DNA.'

Double agent.

A traitor.

It's in her blood. It's the code in her brain.

--

She was in a dark room, all alone. Someone was approaching her. Was she staring at a mirror? It was her. Her image.

But more beautiful. She was perfect. Something she would never be.

'Steve will never love you.' she leered at Natasha. 'Look at you. Let him be with Peggy.'

--

'Tasha!'

She turned around, and saw Steve, but he was too far away. She stretched her hand. 'I need you. Please come back.' she pleaded helplessly.  

He said nothing. He was fading away, and away.

'Steve!'

'I love you.'

'NO!'

~

She woke up with a jolt. Panting and sweating, she quietly crept out of the bed, avoiding the creaking floorboards. She opened the bathroom door and closed it quietly behind her.

The jacuzzi was still slightly warm, as the climate was humid. She turned the jets at a low volume. Stripping her clothes down, she got in the jacuzzi, admired the bubbling jets for a few moments.

She was exhausted. Almost 10 months had passed since Steve, Nat, and Sam were on the run. Sam had his sister Sarah, so he stayed there for a few days before moving away to a new location. Wanda and Vision moved to Scotland, so she and Steve moved to Netherlands, one of the few countries who didn't approve the Sokovia Accords, so the UN can't take them in. Legally.

She felt drowsy. Her half-lidded eyes were closing everytime and she had to shake her head to snap her out of it.

Just for a moment, just a break. From it all. I just want a moment of peace. Something I never got.

--

Steve woke up in the middle of his slumber, eyes wide open, as if someone poured cold water down his back. He felt emptiness on his right. He turned over and saw the empty side of the bed, slightly warm. His tired eyes lingered on the pile of Natasha's "private clothes", before he physically slapped himself, and landed a bundle of clothes outside the bathroom door.

He got up, dressed, and knocked on the bathroom door, not anticipating what was on the other side of it.

'Natasha?'

No reply.

'I am opening the door, Nat.'

He opened the door, and nearly jumped in an unknown emotion.

She was lying in the jacuzzi, her arms resting on the sides, her head lolling backwards, a small smile present on the face. Her red hair was wet and, due to the steam, it looked like her head was on fire. The moonlight had bathed her with a soft glow, her sharp features were prominent, her light brown freckles were more visible, and a small scar near her collarbone was shining. One of the many.

But he was only human, so his gaze went downwards as well.

He admired every curves, dips, scars, cuts and bruises on her. She was perfect in his eyes. But he unfortunately knew she wasn't in hers. Her breathing was slow. Way too slow.

'Natasha?' He shook her shoulder gently.
'Eh?' She stirred in her sleep, shutting her eyes tightly to rid her the sleepiness in her eyes. 'Whassappened?' Her travelled from his concerned face to her own naked body. She crossed her legs and covered her chest with her arms.

'You uh . . . fell asleep,' he cleared his throat before continuing, 'in here. Must have passed out. Sorry. '

'Just pass me a towel.' she said dismissively.

Taken aback by her coldness, he spot a clean towel on the bathroom counter, and covered his eyes while she got out of the water. He let a tiny bit of his hand go down as she dried her body.

'Alright. Let's head back.'

She didn't meet his eyes but kissed his cheek, and walked out, suddenly dropping the towel.

His jaw dropped.

'Didn't your mother ever tell you to not look at girls while they're naked?'
'She did. But I am not thinking about her right now.'

'What are thinking about?'
'Things that my mother will never forgive me for thinking, and doing.'