Hello friends

Enjoy~

(y/n)'s POV

Last night, I thought it wouldn't be so bad to keep drinking. I think that's probably the crux of alcohol. No. I know that is. My head was absolutely pounding when I woke up a little before noon and I couldn't bear to lift my own head up. I turned over with a groan, looking at my nightstand. There was medicine and water there for me and I squinted at them, reaching a clumsy hand over to swallow it all down. My throat was really dry too, so I was glad to have water. I pushed myself up, much to my dismay. I turned my head down to look at my pajamas, placing my clammy hand on my forehead. My mouth tasted terrible too.

I tried to recall exactly how I had gotten safely into my pajamas and my bed, as well as get myself stuff for the next day. I didn't remember doing that. I was sort of sweaty too, so I tossed my sheets off my body, sitting up with my legs over the edge of my mattress. I looked to my desk chair, seeing Eddie's jacket still there.

Ah shit.

"Eddie..." I murmured, rubbing roughly over my eyes. Of course he was here, he had been watching Will. I recalled, rather vividly now, that Steve had dropped me off downstairs. Eddie had helped me up the stairs and picked out pajamas for me. He had wiped off my makeup and tried to set me up in bed. "Oh--god."

I had tried to take his fucking pants off.

I covered my face, feeling 10 times worse than before. I got up and made my way to the bathroom, tossing a towel down. I showered as quickly as I possibly could and scrubbed my mouth of that horrible taste. I had to go and see Eddie, this was completely embarrassing and totally unacceptable. I don't know what didn't stop me last night, I could've just tossed my cup away.

"Hey," Will said. I glanced up at the door, standing in front of my dresser. I wasn't going to bother really doing my hair or makeup, I really didn't care. I just had to go and talk to Eddie. I was dressed at least, looking around for my keys.

"Hey."

"You good?" he asked. "You were basically plastered last night."

"What? You saw me?" I asked. I didn't remember that.

"Yeah for a little," he shrugged. I felt guilty for letting him see me like that, a sigh escaping my lips. "You good?"

"Yeah, I'm alright. I have to see Eddie," I said. "Apologize for making him take care of me."

"Eh, I don't think he minds," Will commented, making his way downstairs. I watched him disappear, thinking of how this could potentially be amusing to Eddie. However, I recalled the look on his face when I made my advance. I felt just awful about it. I remember feeling rather angry and disappointed that he rejected me, but I was glad he did. Eddie was always good like that, wasn't he? I found my keys and grabbed Eddie's jacket, heading downstairs.

"Where are you heading?"

I looked to the kitchen, one shoe in my hand. My mother was standing there, making lunch for Will. They were back much earlier than expected.

"I gotta talk to Eddie real quick," I said. She just nodded, turning back to her food. It felt like I had to lie, but she trusted me and Eddie too. So there was no point in doing so. I left, making my way to his motel. I wasn't sure that he would be there, but it was before noon and I had kept him up, waiting. He was probably asleep. I pulled into a spot in front of his room, getting out and knocking furiously on his door. It opened up, revealing a sleepy Eddie. He squinted against the sunlight, looking at me.

"Wh--Byers?"

"Can I come in?" I asked. He paused, glancing down at himself. He was in just his boxers, as I realized. I remembered that he slept like that.

"Uh yeah," he said, letting me in. I stood by the door while he picked up a shirt and stretched it over his head. He disappeared into the bathroom, returning with black jeans. He could've stayed in boxers, but I suppose he decided it was best for him to be wearing pants. That was fair. "What's up?"

"I wanted to talk about last night."

Eddie stiffened up slightly and I felt guilt eat its way through the center of my chest. I held up the jacket to him.

"And return this."

"Oh...I left it on purpose," he said, but took it back anyway. "Doesn't matter. Continue."

Eddie tossed the jacket over the chair in here, sitting himself on the edge of the motel bed. I would've thought he was being particularly casual, all things considered, but I knew him really well at this point. I could tell that he was slightly uncomfortable, or at least on edge.

"I just, uh, I wanted to say sorry for last night," I said. "I don't know why I kept on drinking after figuring out it was alcohol. I shouldn't have gotten so drunk. I was late coming back and totally imposing on your help with my siblings and then you had to help me, which was so uncool."

"Byers, it's cool," he said, interrupting me slightly.

"Well no--"

"I sneak in through your window," he pointed out. "Several times while high, so don't worry about it."

"I'm still sorry."

"I know, I appreciate it," he said.

"I...uh," I paused and he leaned back slightly on his mattress, looking up at where I stood. "I also wanted to apologize for basically attacking you."

"Attacking me?"

"The...belt," I pointed out. I watched his facial expression shift from confusion to shock, his eyebrows twitching before he covered his expression entirely.

"You remember that."

"Yeah. I am so, so sorry Eddie. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable by basically throwing myself at you," I said, looking at his hands covering his face. "That was so inappropriate of me, I really did not mean to and I'm so, so sorry."

"It's alright."

"No, it's not alright," I insisted.

"I mean I forgive you, I know you didn't mean to," he said, lowering his hands with a sigh. He helped himself up from where he was seated and walked to stand in front of me. "I know you pretty well by now."

"What?"

"Well I know it's uncharacteristic of you to try and shove your hands down my pants," he said and I felt my face heat up. Eddie put his hands in his pockets. "I understand you didn't mean to and I'm not uncomfortable."

"Oh...okay."

Obviously, I would never want to do that if Eddie didn't want me to, but I could see he was under the impression that I would never make an advance towards him. Maybe I was a little too nervous to, but that didn't mean I didn't want to. That was beside the point now anyway.

"So."

"So."

"Is that all you want to talk about?" he asked.

"Is...there anything else?" I questioned back. I couldn't read his expression at this point, but I knew there was something he was withholding from me right now. His eyes darted across my face.

"Uhm. Nope. Not that I can think of," he said, tugging his hands from his pockets and clapping them together. He turned away from me and I reached forward, grabbing his arm.

"Wait, what is it?" I asked. "Did I do something else?"

"No," he lied and I gave him a skeptical glare.

"Don't lie, what did I do?" I pestered. "I can only remember so much."

"You didn't do anything."

"Well--did I say anything?" I asked. The shift in his face was near to microscopic, but I caught it. "Oh my god...what did I say?"

I let go of his arm, thinking hard about last night. I really thought that I had fallen asleep after Eddie left my room to get me water apparently. I brushed my hair back, trying to remember.

"Come on, you have to tell me," I insisted and he crossed his arms.

"Do you really want to know? I mean...you don't even have to worry about it," he said.

"You have to tell me," I said. There was a pause, Eddie trying to decide if he was going to mention it.

"Will passed by and said you should go to bed," he admitted, finally and I nodded. "You seemed like you were more willing once he was there."

"Oh...yeah," I agreed.

"You like to save face around him, I know, but that's not the point," he continued. "You told me that you love Will and Jonathan, your parents, El, Max, Dustin, Lucas, even Mike though he's a dumbass."

"I said that?"

"Nicer," he assured. I nodded. "Then you said you loved Robin, Steve, and Argyle too."

"Yeah?"

I met Eddie's eyes, seeing that he was briefly stopped in the event I would put it together myself.

Oh. Oh.

"You didn't say you loved me, per say," he continued, turning his head slightly to glare at the bedspread. "You happened to mention that you like me the best in a different way."

"Oh," I breathed, placing a hand over my mouth.

"The phrase you used was 'like like'."

I felt my head droop, placing my face in my hands. I could feel my cringe against my palms. I had really told Eddie how I felt, past just sexually throwing myself at him. In every way, this was more embarrassing.

"Oh god."

"Look Byers--"

"I'm sorry," I said, pulling my head up to face him. Eddie's lips parted slightly and his face contorted slightly. I continued to spew words out of my mouth. "That is so embarrassing and idiotic of me to do--this is why I didn't ever want to drink oh my god! I am so stupid! I am an awful friend--"

"Byers."

My eyes shifted towards Eddie.

"This is why I didn't want to tell you," he said. "It doesn't really matter."

"Wh--"

"I know you didn't mean to say that."

My heart dropped and yet I could still feel it pound in my ears. My face softened and I lost whatever words I was trying to say for the time being. That wasn't what I meant at all.

"You were drunk and not yourself, I get it, so really it's fine," he said, shrugging me off, "I know how 'us' works. And that's cool. I know it's like--like I'm the bad influence and stuff and you're...well you," he continued. "I don't even know what I'm saying."

I somehow knew exactly what he was saying. He thought he wasn't good enough for me. He had said it before. I thought I wasn't what he was looking for. But now, I realized how oblivious I had been. He thought that I would only ever like him when I was drunk or not myself. I realize that I had been saying that over and over since showing up here and it was just hammering that thought into his head. His reaction was enough to show me that he really...did like me. It was embarrassing that I couldn't believe that earlier.

"I did mean to say that."

"Say what?" Eddie asked.

"That I like you."

Eddie met my eyes again, wary but shocked. I could see him swallow from where I was standing and his tongue wet his lips, swiping quickly over his soft cupid's bow. I felt myself become breathless, the weight of what I just said sinking in. It was sort of hard to breathe through my nose, so I parted my lips and felt my chest rise sharply and fall shallow. I was suddenly very aware of the room around us and Eddie himself. His shirt was wrinkled from having just put it on and his hair was frizzy from sleep. What I had just said had basically caused him to slow to a near frozen state, taking in what I had just admitted to him. His eyes never broke from mine, however, gentle blinks to convey that he was taken aback. He wasn't expecting me to say that.

"What?"

"I didn't mean to make an advance on you in the event it made you uncomfortable," I said, stepping a little closer. Eddie didn't budge. "I didn't mean to make you wait or take care of me like that either. And...I didn't mean to tell you that while I was drunk. But I meant what I said."

I inhaled, feeling like I was actually holding my breath at this point. I turned my eyes away for a moment.

"I guess I just didn't know how to tell you," I breathed. I couldn't turn my eyes back to Eddie, which also meant I couldn't see what his expression was. "I didn't mean that I...didn't like you. I just didn't want to screw up our friendship. I just thought that you didn't feel the same way. That's all."

"You thought I didn't feel the same way?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said, my head falling down slightly. It was quiet for a long time before I felt Eddie brush past me. I picked my head up, confused. He walked past me and roughly opened the drawer beside his motel bed, pulling out paper. He stalked around to the dresser, rummaging around before shutting it. I watched him. "What....are you doing?"

"Just--"

He pulled another piece of folded paper from beneath his guitar stand. He returned to stand in front of me, handing me the paper from his nightstand. I unfolded it, seeing that it was a bunch of his messy scribbles around one of his math assignments. I looked up at him, still baffled at his reaction.

"That's you," he said, pointing at the doodles. I looked back down, seeing that it was in fact a messy little cartoon smiley with my hair. "If I was good at drawing, that would be more obvious but that's you. And--"

He shoved a different piece of paper in my hand. This was some notebook paper with some DnD stats and a character designed just for me.

"Me too?" I asked.

"Yeah. That's what I did last night while you were out," he said. I felt my mouth curl up at the edges. He took that away from me and replaced it with another piece of paper, his last one. It was a bunch of musical notes on hand drawn measures. I felt my heart pang, not knowing what it sounded like right off the bat, but knowing that Eddie had made it just for me. I gripped the edges of the paper.

"Eddie."

"That's for you too. I've been writing it on the guitar. It doesn't have lyrics or anything because I can't write those for shit," he said. "But that melody is for you."

"Why?"

"Why?" he reiterated. "Because I can't get you out of my head. That's why. I've tried drawing and writing and even trying to make you on the paper, but nothing works (y/n). You are all I can fucking think about. It drives me crazy."

Suddenly, it was less light-hearted and funny about the cute doodle or character. I'm sure the melody was just perfect. It wasn't about that anymore. Eddie was standing so dangerously close to me, the heat from his body damn near suffocating. My hands, still holding his makeshift music sheet, separated us. If he moved closer, my knuckles would be pressed into the center of his chest.

"I like you so much, it feels like I can't feel anything else," he said.

My toes curled in my shoes and I felt myself wobble slightly, the muscles in my legs growing weak and sloppy from the words coming out of Eddie's mouth. Eddie's mouth was pink and his lips were almost always chapped. My eyes were drawn there, flickering down and then back up to his eyes. Eddie did the same and I felt a tingle at the back of my neck, knowing that he was looking at me. I felt Eddie take the paper from between us, the melody he had made for me, and set it on the table beside us. Before my arms could fall, he wrapped a warm hand around my left wrist. That feeling ran up my arm, striking my stomach as he pulled me a little closer towards him. I could see each eyelash and every speckle in his irises this close and yet we were not as close as we could be. I wanted to be even closer than I knew we could. My eyes did not leave his, my mind blank yet full at the same time.

Eddie leaned forwards, his nose brushing against mine. He still held on tightly to my wrist and my other hand rested against the side of his waist, my eyelids starting to close. I looked down at the bridge of his nose, feeling his warm breath against my own. His chin jutted forwards as he fit his lips against my own. He let go of my wrist, both hands grasping the back of my head. My eyes drooped closed fully, my hands gripping the sides of Eddie's shirt. Eddie's lips weren't all that soft actually, I could tell that they were chapped. I liked how characteristic that was of him and it didn't matter anyways. Everything about him was just so warm that it didn't matter. There was a slight tug of my bottom lip in between his before he let go and pressed our lips together again, even closer. There was a lovely sensation of butterflies in my stomach, fluttering against my ribcage.  My nerves were buzzing, his fingers in my hair and his mouth chasing after mine. 'Kiss', singular, didn't seem to quite fit the description of what we were doing.

Eddie let go of my head and there was a nervous twinge or squeeze in my neck, thinking that he was done already. My eyes flickered open again, his breath sweeping heavy against my own mouth. Eddie was already looking at me. His hands traveled down from my shoulder blades to the small of my back, shudders down my spine following suit. His eyes broke away from mine, scrolling down my neck and my collarbones. Down they went across my chest and down to my stomach, stopping at my hips. He watched, in awe or disbelief, palms sweeping from my back around to the sides of my hips. His thumbs brushed hot skin, disappearing partly under the bottom of my shirt. His eyes moved between his hands, watching them squeeze my hips and move my body in towards his again. I moved my own hands to his chest, which drew his eyes up and then to me again. My lips--hot and heavy--let my breath pass between them. My chest rose and fell nervously against his.

Eddie didn't say anything, leaning in and kissing once at the corner of my mouth so he could hear me gasp just slightly. I did and he turned his head to snag my lips again. And we were kissing again. I sighed into him, pulling his shoulders forwards. Prickling goosebumps rose from the skin of my stomach and upwards when I felt his thumb move just slightly. My mind flashed briefly of where we would go from here, saturated with images of the different ways he might hold me. I inhaled sharply through my nose, realizing that Eddie's tongue had just barely brushed my lips. I hadn't realized just how badly I wanted to kiss him. I hadn't realized that kissing should feel just like this. Limbs heavy, skin buzzing, time slowing. I held one side of his face now, my hand having a mind of its own. I opened my mouth, chasing after him now. I felt Eddie's lips curve up into a smile against mine.

Eddie pulled his head away from mine for the moment, the space between us cooling off. He just looked at me and I squirmed slightly, but didn't look away. He wore a soft and loving smile. He let up on the grip he had on my hips, brushing hair away from my face with one hand. I leaned in one last time, kissing him twice on the lips and once on the corner of his mouth. I had missed with the last one, but that was okay. Even though we were done kissing for the time being, Eddie didn't dare let me slip away from him. It wasn't like I wanted to, because I didn't, so he didn't have to hold onto me as tightly as he was right now.

"Ah shit," he breathed, chuckling just slightly. He ducked his head just enough so that I couldn't see his eyes.

"What?" I asked, lowering my hand from his jaw to the base of his neck. Eddie picked up his head again, eyes glossy when he looked at me.

"Sorry, you're just perfect," he admitted. My heart squeezed and I smiled with him.

"Far from it, this took too long to happen," I said, shaking my head.

"Nah. You're still perfect to me," he insisted. I didn't think I could take another drop of my stomach, my skin so hot and my brain reeling. Eddie was always the funny comedic relief when things went wrong now, that was what was so charming about him, but he was being so serious right now. I thought it might actually kill me. "I'm taking you on a date."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," he said, "the best date you've ever been on. Anything you want. Or if you don't want to choose? I'll do it.