Taking things as easy as he can with work after coming back nearly 2 years, Rick was about to take a break while he had a chance before preparing to go back to surgery for the first time in months though still Rick was unsure about rather or not he was ready to be back but shot down the thought because the moment he thought about turning the patient to Monica he could swear that Lesley was right there telling him to get through it because she was gonna be right there as she's always been.

" Rick? May I join you or would you prefer to be alone?" Gail asked

" No it's alright Gail.... Actually I think I could use alittle company.... I've kind of been having a hard time with getting through the last few weeks." Rick admitted

" It's understandable Rick given with what you've had to go through these last 2 years.... Trying to keep a kind of normalcy for the kids and then trying to work through trying to process everything you've had to face.. Lesley was a very special person to you and to have to face with what she went through becoming so sick it isn't easy for you..." Gail replied gently

" I miss her so much, Gail.... We had so many things we wanted to do, so many ideas we had to take the kids... She wanted to take the girls and Riley up to the cabin in the mountains where I've taken her before after the accident when Laura was killed. I took her out to the Aspen mountains in Colorado after she was better enough to be able to travel.... Everytime I would take her out there she was always so happy... always ready to have an adventure and then she had gotten so sick that she couldn't even get through taking a shower by herself without having to struggle... I wanted to take her up there for her birthday like I did a couple times before but she wasn't strong enough to be going out there and it didn't matter anyway because she didn't get to see her birthday..." Rick started venting

" How are the kids with all of this..." Gail asked gently.

" Jesslyn is having a harder time with tryin' to understand why this happened and Genesis she doesn't understand why I spend alot of my time just sitting in the living-room holding Lesley's urn or she would see me talking to a picture before I would go up at night and make sure they're tucked in... And Riley, he wonders where his mother is but knows she will never come home again.. It just hurts and it kills me Gail that I have no idea what to say to any of them about any of this..." Rick got out

" I can't imagine how you feel or how you have been trying to get through all of this... And then having to try to assure the kids and talk to them about all of this.." Gail said

" Gail I'm sorry that I've been unloading on you... I shouldn't be doing that.." Rick looked over 

" Hey I'm always gonna be here when you need a listening ear.... It's what I'm here for Rick so don't apologize for getting your feelings out. Lesley would want that for you she would want you to turn to your friends when you need to…. In fact a couple days before she passed and Lee and I were there, she asked me to be there when you need anything." Gail pulled Rick into a hug

" I was gonna tell Monica to take surgery this afternoon... But I soon said to myself that I could see Lesley now staring at me with that look of ' don't you dare' she always hated when I would do that." Rick replied with a small grin.

" Lesley always talked alot about you while she came in anytime she felt like she needed to talk or have a session. You drove her crazy but she said that she wouldn't have wanted to be with anyone else other than where she was with you." Gail stated 

" She really made me out to be a better man...and I told her that, I told her I became a better man because I had the opportunity to not only marry her once but I had the pleasure of doing it twice. The biggest regret I ever made in the first place was how much I once hurt her when I involved myself again with Monica, sure I worked my tail to the bone to make it up to her and she had forgiven me but…. I almost have started to feel that I didn’t deserve for her to do that, like I should’ve had to do more to make up for just how much I had hurt her at that time.” 

" She was real proud of you Rick and she cherished the years she had with you. In fact she always went back to the day before Riley was born. When you had that surprise waiting for her at the house."

" That was the best time of my life when we had that.... I got to promise her all over again just how much she meant to me. And the best of it also was when I brought her home, she had no idea that Jessie was in on the surprise." 

~~

“ Rick I feel fine really and so far everything is fine especially now that you're back home… I think i’m just gonna head up to lay down or relax in the livingroom with the girls before they have to go to bed.”

“ Lesley, you have done quite abit today you need to take an easy get some rest this pregnancy is difficult for you enough as it is without you running into possible complications.” Rick pointed out.

Going inside with Rick, Lesley didn’t expect anything except to head in to relax but when she went to step into the room after hanging her coat up, she was lost for words at what was waiting for her.

“ R-Rick… what…. How in the…” Lesley raised a hand while standing by the table.

“ I did this all for you…. I spent alot of the time thinking of the situation I put you in and how I was gonna put something together just to tell you just how much you mean to me… Lesley I know that I hurt you and put you through the worst kind of hell that I should’ve never put you in to begin with”

Lesley tried to gather if what she was seeing was real or not as Rick stood at least 10 feet in front of her.

" I love you Lesley Webber and I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you by my side."

~~

" Aunt Jessie... When's daddy coming home?" Riley asked

" He should be home in alittle while... He's trying to do his best to help someone get better so they can be with those they love..." Jessie replied

" I guess that's cool... I wish he was home. I'm gonna go upstairs..." 

" Riley honey come sit with me for alittle bit" Jessie started then continued " your mom fought very hard and your Dad, he and the doctors they tried their best to help her feel better but your mom was very sick and the medicine wasn't helping her so your big sister Laura had to come get her so she'd feel better..... Your mother loved you very much Riley you, and your sisters were her biggest blessing... Just like you are to your Dad." Jessie sat with Riley in the living-room

" I wish Mom didn't have to go... I miss her so much.." Riley looked down at her lap

" I know you do... I miss her too but you know something... Even right now though we can't see her, she's always there looking over you to protect you and it's a way that she'll be able to tell you just how much she loves you..... Why don't you go and play with your sisters while Mrs Grant and I straighten up alittle and then start dinner so when your Dad gets home it'll be ready." Jessie gave Riley a hug and stood up

Rick finished up with a few things while he had a chance and then went to do his rounds but found himself going right to Lesley's office again where he couldn't help but think about what would've been had she not have passed away.... 

" Monica, have you seen Rick?" Steve asked 

" No I thought maybe you have, I am waiting on labs before he supposed assist the surgery... But I can't seem to locate him and he hasn't answered his beeper." Monica replied

" Maybe he shouldn't have come back to work.... I think maybe it was still too soon for him..." Steve said

" It's been almost 2 years... Since Lesley had passed away.... I think that being with that coming up it's what's getting to him....." Monica suggested

" Have Cunningham assist you in the O.R I will see if I can find Rick and I will talk to him." Steve replied

" Steve, you don't think he might just disappear do you?"

" He left this for me... I guess he's deciding to leave the hospital." Steve replied

Rick took alot of his time going through some of alot of the boxes that he had brought in just the week before last so he could take home what things Lesley kept in her office but surely enough it was enough that Rick found it getting to him to where it brought him to tears everytime because the one thing Lesley left was the last picture she had taken with the kids and him before she started having trouble and was diagnosed a third time with cancer that February along with their wedding picture she always carried with her.

" Lesley you have no idea just how much I miss you... How much I wish I could just see you again or even just hear your voice again...." Rick sniffled and decided to get himself together just before Steve knocked on the door.

Steve waited for a minute or 2 and peeked his head in the door to see if Rick was okay. " Rick, is there something I need to help you with?" Steve asked

" No, Steve but thanks for asking.... I wish there was but with Lesley not here..... And having to take all of her things home it’s alittle more painful than I thought it was gonna be..." Rick replied

" Rick, take more time for yourself... You need to go spend time with the kids... With the next couple days coming up you really need to Lesley would want you to take care of yourself... Especially during this time... Oh and Rick before you check out.... Remember if you ever need anything Audrey and I will always have our door open for you and the family..." Steve said straight out

" I appreciate that Steve I really do.... And you're right... I came back pushing myself and Lesley would have had my head if she were to see me running myself like this, especially because I have the kids to think about.... I honestly Steve I was okay with coming back today..." Rick started to say

Steve sat beside Rick by the window and Lesley's desk

" I Came in did half my rounds and took a small break and spoke with Gail for alittle bit... We were just talking about some of the good times and the last time I took her and the kids out to the mountains where I took her before in Colorado... I honestly was okay today Steve but I think I'm starting to see that the more that the time starts to fly and May 16th comes around the more trouble I'm starting to have just to try to get through each day that Lesley is no longer here." Rick admitted

" You and Lesley were together for over 35 years. I certainly can understand how it would feel when you lose someone who has meant everything to you.... Take the rest of the month off and go be with your kids Rick... You need that time." Steve replied and gave Rick a hug

" Steve I'm sorry that it had to come to that I left you my resignation... I just feel that it's too much for me to be here with the memories and then without Lesley..."

" Rick, don't apologize.... I find it alittle hard myself without her sometimes.... She was a fine doctor and was a very special person even to me..." Steve replied and gave Rick a hug before walking back to the lobby

~~~

" Mrs Grant I think that's a nice idea of a way to remember who Lesley was... These last 2 years it's just been so different without her. With the girls now in school and Riley starting school again soon... Lesley would've been proud of seeing just how the kids are starting to grow up… Or rather how much Riley is growing up and how much the girls have grown up over the last year." 

" Sometimes I still think she'll come in from being at the hospital and then when Dr Webber comes home and she's not with him it becomes real again that Dr Webber isn't here..." Alice responds while thinking of some of the good times from the first year

~~

" You must be Alice Grant.... I'm Dr. Lesley Webber, this is my husband Dr. Richard Webber... May we offer anything tea, maybe coffee anything?" Lesley asked

" No but thank you for asking... I was happy to be asked about working for you... It's the first time in a long time since my daughter left and moved out..." Alice replied with a smile

" If you don't mind me asking, what is it that you would be willing to do with working for us?" Lesley asked

" I do everything... Kitchen, bedrooms, and bathrooms, I do windows and doors, I also do laundry and linens as well as the living-room. I even cook too... And if you need I can start right away" Alice replied 

" That's fantastic. I think it would be great to have you start first thing in the morning." Lesley said with pleasure

~~

" Lesley was special to us both... I know I was proud to have considered her as a close friend but I was more proud that I considered her as my own daughter rather than a friend." Jessie said. 

" Oh that reminds me.... I found these in the desk there.... There's one for both you and Dr Webber..." Alice replied

" I remembered about these... I was the one who put them in the desk..... Lesley asked me to hold on to them...." Jessie stood up and turned towards the window

" I'm sorry I didn't mean to remind you of..." Alice got out

“ It's okay Mrs. Grant it's not you it's just timing that I think it's what's getting to me.” 

Monica finally got out of surgery and went to look for Rick hoping to knock on some sense that she thinks he needs where his job was of a concern.

" Ah, I finally found you. I have been looking for you all day today Rick, why didn't you get up to surgery like you were expected to." Monica stated

" Not now Monica I'm not really in the mood to talk right now.. I just need to be alone." Rick turned around but kept putting his things in the boxes.

" When are you gonna deal with this and move on... You have patients who are of priority. When are you gonna see that this is where you should be." 

Now Rick about turned around about boiling into rage while hearing what Monica had just said because she knew just where to get him angry

" When are you gonna butt out and get your own life.... You're not my wife, you're not anybody to me other than a colleague... You know something Monica if Lesley were here I wouldn't be wasting my time with all of this and I would be in surgery... I wouldn't be packing my things and then the rest of her things as I get ready to go home back to a house where she'll never come home again... Do you have any clue how it feels when you have to sit and watch while someone you love is dying right in front of you and you can't do anything to help them or how it feels when that very person dies right in your arms... Do you!" Rick snapped

Not sure what to say to Rick, all Monica did was stand in front of Rick

" Well, do you!... No Monica you don't because you have lost nobody that way... You know Lesley forgave you for alot of things you did and said to her... Tried to stop us from getting married, you tried to undermine her job and the biggest one of all you tried and made her believe that I had a child with you after it was advised to her not to try to conceive... Only for you to try and then conceal and lie to me where I lost my family... She forgave you for that... I, on the other hand, have never forgiven you for that.... Don't you ever tell me I need to move on from losing the true woman that Lesley was.. in fact don't even say her name ever again to me... She was more of a woman than you ever could be and I want you outta here before I get back for the rest of mine and her things." Rick shouted and walked off with a couple boxes