41 | Goodbye

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I feel so bad for the past few chapters, so I thought this gif would cheer you up....?
I hope? not funny? okay my humor is broken anyways, hehehe :)
and NO, this is not the end!!!!!!!!

∞ ϟ

Y/N

_

"SHE'S NOT WELL, ALBUS," Mcgonagall whispered, "you should have seen how they found her."

I was lying in my hospital bed, my face pressed into the pillow numbly. Hours had gone by since I last saw Draco, hours of people lingering outside the Medical wing, whispering about what they thought happened. I felt like an animal.

Kept in a cage and put on display.

All the teachers were gathered around my bed, engaged in a conversation about my future. They thought I was sleeping. I wasn't. I was listening, because it was the only thing I could do.

"Enlighten me, Minerva," the headmaster's voice rang out, "how was she found."

How was I found? I don't remember much.

"Pomfrey found her and Mr. Malfoy on the floor," Mcgonagall muttered, clicking her tongue, "the poor boy wouldn't let go of her, and she kept screaming his name when he was forced to leave."

"And they've been in relations, hm?"

"If it wasn't obvious before, it's obvious now," Hooch added, "never in all my years have I ever seen a Malfoy cry."

"At least not in public," Snape muttered.

I knew I shouldn't be eavesdropping, but I couldn't help it. I've seen Draco cry. Many times now. And every single time it broke my heart to see it, because it was painful to watch. But now....now it was different. This time I was the cause of his crying.

Another tack on my list of faults.

"You know half of the students are whispering," Mcgonagall added, "I've heard them."

Sprout shifted in her chair, "and what exactly is it their whispering about?"

"They're all saying she's to blame for Cedric's death."

"And isn't she?"

"Quite the contrary," Albus muttered, "only dark magic could have killed Mr. Diggory, and while [y/n] is a bright student, she was never trained in that area of expertise."

Snape scoffed, "all one needs is to mutter two words."

"Are you implying that this girl is a murderer, Severus?"

I could almost hear the frown written across Snape's lips. He tolerated me in the beginning, but now that he knows I was at fault for dragging Draco into this mess, he seemed less inclined to back me with trust.

No one trusted me anymore.

"I'm only stating the obvious," the potions master muttered, "if she didn't kill Mr. Diggory, who did?"

Mcgonagall pursed her lips, "we were informed of Barty Crouch's involvement, and he has been sent to trial as we speak."

"But Barty couldn't have done this."

"But Tom could..." I heard Dumbledore mutter, "I'm beginning to think the rumors of his returns are true."

A silence fell around the room, nobody daring to say a word. All except one was scared of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, and to admit to such a horrible truth was dangerous in itself.

"We'll speak about this later," Dumbledore continued, "I believe the well-being of Miss [l/n] is the more important matter at hand."

Snape muttered something, but I couldn't hear it.

"All the student's think she did it," Mcgonagall said, "imagine what they'd do to her if she was to walk through the halls."

Flitwick, who was abnormally silent, spoke up, "they'd tear her to shreds."

"She's not safe here."

"Then we'll set her up with the Weasleys," Dumbledore suggested, "they'll be most generous to take her in."

"I heard she and her group of friends had a falling out a few days ago."

"Hm?"

"Miss Granger, Mr. Potter, and Mr. Weasley."

"Have they said anything about this?"

"No, but they've been trying to get into the hospital wing for a couple hours now," Pomfrey said, wheeling a trolley cart past, "I had to threaten them with detention if they continued trying to alohomora their way through the door."

"That doesn't seem like a falling out to me," Sprout noted, "I think the Weasleys will be a perfect fit."

"I'll owl them immediately," Hooch said, retreating towards the door.

There was brief pause, the only sounds being the squawking of Pomfrey's cart, the tapping of wands against tables, and the click of Hooch's heels as she walked, but my thoughts were the loudest of all.

I had to leave?

I suppose I did, considering the fact that people hated me now. Normally I'd turn a blind eye, but the truth was that they had every right to be. I hated myself too. So much so, that I considered leaving my life behind a matter of hours ago.

And I would have, if it wasn't for him.

Draco.

"How long will she be gone?" Mcgonagall questioned.

Dumbledore sighed, "it's a matter of how long we can prove she had nothing to do with Mr. Diggory's death."

"Or a matter of how long it takes for the Dark Lord to make an appearance," Snape snapped, "if she really is telling the truth about his revival."

"So it will be a long time."

"Will she ever return?"

"That's a question too soon to answer."

My pillow was becoming damp with the hot air coming out of my mouth, but I refused to move. I couldn't let them know I was listening. I couldn't let them know I was awake.

They'd prod me with questions, and needle me apart, and my mind wasn't stable enough to fathom so much as a word. I just needed....rest. Time to breathe, time to sleep, time to figure out how to live again.

"Pomfrey," Dumbledore said, the chair beneath him squeaking as he stood, "when Miss [l/n] awakes, it will be suitable for her friends to say their final goodbyes."

I heard the nurse stop in her tracks, "and Mr. Malfoy?"

There was another pause, and I swore I heard the shaking of a head against the fabric of the headmaster's cloaks. No....please don't say it. Please. If I am to leave all of my life behind, deal with the guilt and pain, and suffer through each day with the knowledge that people think I'm the cause foe all of this....why can't I be allowed to say goodbye?

To the one person I hold closest to my heart.

Please...

"Maybe it's better if he doesn't know, Albus," Mcgonagall sighed.

Dumbledore's voice rang out again, "and why not?"

"It's much harder to say goodbye to someone when you know they'll be gone," she explained, "the boy still has his father to worry about, and the less he worries about her departure, the easier it will be for him."

If my heart could breath for the hundredth time, it would have done so.

I remembered that day in his room, both of us curled up next to each other in the sea-light, spilling out our fillings onto the mattress before we barely even had a relationship. He told me why he liked me. I told him I'd listen.

But you...He said, you gave me a choice.

The boy with no choice told me I had given him one. I should feel proud. I should feel happy I was able to be that light for him. But I couldn't be. Not anymore.

Because now it was I who had no choice.

So, if I can't tell it to you in person, I'll have to trust you can feel it in your heart. Remember me, darling, remember everything I taught you, remember every moment we shared, and do the things we planned to do but never got around to. Because the only way I can reach you now, is through the shattered pieces of my soul.

So I hope you're listening.

Goodbye, Draco.

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