Guilt-ridden.

Two weeks have passed and Sanemi hasn't asked for Yuna to join the corps. He talked to Oyakata-sama about it and he understood. Sanemi asked for some missions to get his thoughts away from Yuna's family circumstances.

But here he was, walking to the diner where Yuna used to work at.

"Are you here for Kisaragi?" One of the workers asked and Sanemi nodded.

"Well, she's been fired for a few days now. I thought you might know."

"Fired?" Sanemi asked with shock.

"Yeah. Why don't you ask her yourself?" He snickered and the others joined in.

Sanemi remembered when Yuna was yelled by her owner. So it was actually her getting fired. Sanemi left the place and headed to Yuna's house. As he was nearing the place, he could hear voices from the backyard.

"No, you don't do it like that!"

"Huh...?"

"Oh, I did that too."

Sanemi walked into the backyard. He saw Yuna's aunt sitting on a wooden chair below the roof and a blanket around her. Yuna and Hiroto were sitting on the grounds, a pile of straws behind them.

"Don't cross them like that!" Hiroto said to Yuna, who was watching how Hiroto made his sandals neatly. Her eyebrows were furrowed deeply.

"This is hard." She stated as she tried again.

"This is a simple task. You just don't have the skills to do it." Hiroto said as he threw another sandal to the pile.

"But I can knit."

"Well, I can do that too."

"... Anyway, are there still people who wear sandals from straws?" Yuna asked.

"Who knows? We only have to bring these to the seller and he'll dispose of them for us." Hiroto said.

"Dispose." Yuna's aunt chuckled.

"... And how long is that guy going to stand there?" Hiroto asked to Yuna.

"I don't know. He'll walk in when he felt like it." Yuna answered.

Yuna's aunt turned her head toward Sanemi, clearly not realizing his presence. She let out a smile when she saw him.

"Oh, Shinazugawa-san. Good afternoon." She greeted.

"Do you want to make sandals with us?" She asked with such a happy smile. Sanemi wondered why she was so happy by making sandals. Then he realized that she was probably happy because she gets to spend time with her family. It's their family time, he shouldn't bother them.

"Can he even make one without breaking it though?" Hiroto asked.

"... You've got some nerves, kid."

With that, Sanemi joined the little family in their work. It was full of Hiroto's scolds, Sanemi's bickering, and aunt's laughs. Yuna quietly crafted her sandals. They finished before the sun set.

"It sure finishes quick with four people." Hiroto said as he tied the sandals together. "It used to be only us two, isn't it?"

"And it took two days for us to finish." Yuna said.

"That's because you're too slow."

"... Sorry."

Sanemi watched the two. He was sitting beside Yuna's aunt. Ever since that day when he heard the news about Yuna's aunt, he would get quiet everytime he saw them. It's as if he got sad when he saw them.

He wasn't being himself.

Then again, he has never been himself after what happened to his family.

"The sun is setting soon. Do you want to go inside now?" Sanemi asked Yuna's aunt.

"... Can I?" She smiled at Sanemi.

Hiroto glanced at Sanemi, who carried his mother back to the house. He huffed as he watched him.

"How did you manage to find that kind of guy?" Hiroto asked.

"What's wrong with him?" Yuna asked.

"It's just..." Hiroto scratched his head. "Someone as kind as him, who helps others without asking for anything in return, is hard to find."

"It might be rude for me to say this, but I can't really trust him." Hiroto said. "You were the one who told me what kind of people to trust and not to trust."

"You don't have to trust him." Yuna said.

"Even you can tell that he is planning something, right? That's why... I'll be the one who trust him. So when he betrayed us... I'd be the only fool." She muttered. "And you can scold me for trusting someone like him."

"... That's unusual, coming from you. Why would you bother to believe in him if you know that?" Hiroto asked.

"... Because I've had enough."

Hiroto flinched. He turned his head toward Yuna.

"Trying to keep living without relying on others is exhausting. I feel bad for using him like this... But he's the one who approached with malicious intention so it's fair, right?" Yuna asked Hiroto, who simply stared at her with a doubtful look.

"Huh... I'm going to hell for sure." Yuna said.

Hiroto clicked his tongue at her words. He started to scold her for saying things like that as Yuna pretended to listen.

"Thank you, Shinazugawa-san." Yuna's aunt said as Sanemi set her on her futon.

"No problem." He replied.

"It's always nice to see you. You should come more often." Yuna's aunt smiled. "Oh, but I guess we can't offer you anything since we're poor."

Sanemi kept silent.

"You are very kind, Shinazugawa-san."

Sanemi looked at her in confusion.

"I've heard from Yuna. She told me that you helped her many times. I'm really thankful for it. Thank you." Yuna's aunt bowed slightly to Sanemi.

"There are many kinds of people in this world. Those who only help for benefits, those who don't even glance at others, those who only pretend to care, there are many like that."

"Humans are fascinating, aren't they? They have more facades than demons have."

Sanemi's eyes widened at her words.

"You know about demons?" Sanemi asked.

"Of course. My brother is a demon hunter after all." She answered with a smile. "They only exist to eat humans. Knowing that, I can't help but to think that we are such a hypocrite compared to them."

"... The way you talked... It seems you've met many kinds of bad people in your life." Sanemi said.

"No, I haven't." She shook her head.

"Yuna has."

Sanemi flinched. He stared at Yuna's aunt, not knowing what to say.

"Those are her words." She said. Her eyes becoming distant as she recalled her past. "That's why I'm glad she finally met someone as kind as you, Shinazugawa-san."

"No, I'm not kind at all..." Sanemi mumbled and clenched his fists. He stared at his fists. He cursed himself for being such a despicable person, trying to use a vulnerable young girl for his own goods.

He has to apologize.

"Um..." Sanemi muttered.

"If it's alright with you..."

"Can you... tell me about... your niece?"

Yuna's aunt tilted her head.

"Just... Just some things that can help me understand her... As for the rest..."

"I'll make sure to hear them from herself."

She smiled at him.

•••

Yuna and Hiroto walked back to the house after they delivered the sandals. The sky was turning darker. A crow was standing on top of Yuna's head as they walked home.

"Mom will be fine with that guy, right?" Hiroto asked and Yuna nodded.

Hiroto opened the door and walked into the house. He immediately checked his mother. He raised his brows when he saw her. Yuna followed him and stood beside him.

The cousins looked at each other.

The room's atmosphere was gloomy.

"Um."

Sanemi and Yuna's aunt looked at them.

"I have work to do." Yuna said.

"At this late?" Her aunt asked.

"Do you want to bring your father's blade?" Hiroto asked.

"I don't need that." Yuna shook her head. She turned her head to Sanemi, who was staring at her. "Aren't you going home?"

Sanemi snapped out of his thoughts and muttered a small 'yeah'. He stood up and bowed to Yuna's aunt. Then, he walked out from the house. Yuna also left the house.

"I'll walk you to your workplace." Sanemi mumbled.

"It's quite near though." Yuna said but Sanemi kept silent. Yuna knew that her aunt must've said something to him.

"Let's go then." She said as she walked ahead. Sanemi followed beside her.

Yuna was heading to Kimura's house. He used his kasugaigarasu whenever he wanted to tell Yuna to come. His crow flew away from Yuna's head and went ahead to his house.

"You've became awfully quiet since that day." Yuna said, referring to the day where they brought her aunt to the clinic. "Forget about everything you've heard. It's not like we can do anything anyway."

I feel like I'm only a burden to both of them. I know that I don't have any hope left. And I'm sure they think so too. I know how they cried at nights, but kept a strong facade in front of me.

"Who knows... Maybe a miracle will happen." Sanemi said.

"That's just ridiculous. There's no such thing in this world."

She's still a child, but she doesn't act like one. She should have been running around the village, playing with other children. But here she is, working to keep her hopeless aunt alive.

"... Yeah, the world is just... downright cruel." Sanemi said.

"Weren't you the one who told me that the world isn't as bad as it seems?" Yuna asked and Sanemi looked at her.

"Did you believe that?" He asked.

"I've come to believe it for a bit, thanks to you."

Even though I said that the world is not like what she thought, she won't believe me. Because she never sees the world like that. She never sees any light in her small world.

"I did nothing..." Sanemi muttered, looking away.

"Well, you helped me. That's enough for me to see that even in this cruel world, someone like you still exists." Yuna said.

"I don't know why you even helped me in the first place. Are you pitying me? If so, you can stop now. It's not like no one ever helped us. There are people who helped us too before you."

People only helped us to gain something in return. There was one who wanted to make money using me. Another one wanted to sell Hiroto to the slave house. Yuna has been deceived too many times, that's why she thinks that everyone is disgusting.

"I'm not pitying you." Sanemi said.

"... That's good." Yuna said.

"That way, I might actually enjoy getting helped by you."

If I were you myself, I would be delighted to see how much Yuna trusts you. You must be an incredibly kind person.

"... Your life looks tiring." Sanemi forced a snicker.

"... You're right." Yuna scoffed.

"I should be cursing the world right now rather than trying to see it from a different perspective."

She never let her feelings out. I can't imagine how hard it must be for her to keep all of it by herself in these past years. I don't know whether to be glad or worried that she's strong.

"You're brave." Sanemi said.

"No, I'm not." Yuna replied. "You don't know how many times I wanted to give up."

"But you didn't."

Yuna looked down at her feet.

"I guess so..." She mumbled.

But I know she'll do just fine even if I'm not around. That's why I don't have any worries for her or my son.

"Why don't you ask for help?" Sanemi finally asked the most intriguing question about her. "You know you're in big trouble. Why didn't you shout out to someone? Why did you choose to do it all by yourself?"

"... They always leave in the end."

"If you told them your circumstances, they would have helped." Sanemi said.

Yuna stopped her tracks. She turned around and faced Sanemi.

"It bothers me." Yuna said.

"Having someone that knows how vulnerable I am, it bothers me." She continued.

"Accepting help from people who have other motives is far easier than from those who pitied us."

Sanemi stared at her, speechless.

"... If you're accepting my help... Then do you think I might have other motives?" He asked.

"I don't know." She shook her head. "But, there's one thing I know for sure."

I believe in them.

"You're a good person, Shinazugawa-san."

That was the first time she called out his name.

"... I'm... not..."

"You're a good person." Yuna repeated.

"Really."

Sanemi couldn't utter a single word. He stayed still in his place, eyes staring at the slightest smile on Yuna's face.

Shit, he cursed inside his mind, I'm going to cry.

The guilt inside his chest has piled up, he could even throw up right now. He didn't know what he has done to an innocent person. If he was her, he would've hated himself to death.

Sanemi took a deep breath and exhaled. He looked around and saw a house beside them. He turned to Yuna.

"Go in." He said and Yuna nodded.

"Good bye." Yuna said before walking into the house.

Sanemi turned around and walked away. He stared at the starry sky above as snow came down.

"Am I doing the right thing?" He muttered to no one.

"Mom..."

"I've done something cruel, haven't I?"

"... Can I... make it up for it?"

Sanemi lowered his head and continued walking in the cold night alone.

__________

I don't even know why this story is getting more depressing...
Don't worry! They will be happy in the end!

*remembers chapter 200*

Maybe.

Anyway since this story is a slow burn one, I'm trying my best to update often so you won't get bored of the story.

Thank you for reading and commenting! It's fun to read all of the comments^^