Richie woke up to the sound of clattering pots and pans. He would've been worried if the sounds weren't immediately followed by a loud are you fucking kidding me!

He grinned to himself, sitting up carefully and rubbing his aching head. As predicted, he didn't get much sleep the previous night, but he did manage to knock out for a few minutes at a time after a long shower. He flung his legs over the side of the bed and put on his glasses so he was no longer blind. He quietly padded his way to the kitchen and peeked around the corner before making his presence known.

Eddie was still in the clothes he slept in, a loose fitting shirt and shorts a little too short for Richie's sanity. He was bent over the stove, cooking something, with a line formed on his forehead from frustration. "Stupid... fucking dumb..." He was mumbling to himself, tossing stuff across the kitchen.

"Woah Eds, careful throwing things." He was amused at Eddie's little jump and stifled a laugh at the glare he received.

"Don't do that, you scared me." He hunched over the stove again, shutting it off and groaning in defeat. "You messed me up."

"I messed you up?" Richie raised a brow, making his way over to stand next to him. "What are you trying to do?"

"I was trying to make breakfast, but your eggs were expired. And so was pretty much everything else in the fridge so I thought I'd try grilled cheese. Your bacon was still good so I tried to put some on it but you don't have a press so it just kept cooking unevenly. I had to throw out the first one, and now they just keep burning. I don't understand why LA stoves are so complicated- why the fuck are you staring at me like that??"

Richie had propped himself against the fridge and just smiled softly at Eddie as he rambled on. "You're just cute."

"Stop." The smaller man's face was already heating up. "Now you're just making fun of me."

"I'm not." Richie promised. "Making breakfast is pretty cute. A press, Eds? Dude, I haven't cooked in here for a long time." He gripped the pan from the stove and moved it to the sink. "I appreciate the effort, A plus. Sorry everything expired, it's been a while."

"Don't apologize..." Eddie already looked like he felt guilty. "This is your house, I'm sorry-"

"Hey, let's go out and eat. Or we can just order in again. You down?"

"Uh sure."

"Which one?" Richie watched Eddie shuffle around anxiously, rubbing the back of his neck and avoiding Richie's eyes.

"If we could just stay here that would be nice. I-" He quickly looked to Richie for a sign of something before continuing. "I don't want to go out until I'm better."

"I get it man, that's totally fine."

It was almost a replay of the day before, except they ignored the whole nightmare fiasco. The both of them were spread out on the couch, watching some dumb reality tv show and eating their cares away. "Fuck." Richie nearly choked on his food when he checked his phone after it had been buzzing in his pocket, his manager calling him for the fifteen hundredth time. Eddie looked up from his laptop, which had pretty much replaced his phone for the time being.

"Sorry, I just need to take this." He quickly got up from the couch, sucking in frantic breaths as he held the phone up to his ear. "This is Richie Tozi-"

"WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN RICH?"

Richie hissed at the high volume yelling funneling into his ear. "First you walk off stage at a show and disappear for weeks? Are you begging to have your career destroyed. Megan and Anthony are so pissed, you don't even know what you're in for. God, how could you be so stupid?"

"I needed to leave, it was an emergency."

"Yeah it better have been. In fact, someone better have fucking died."

Richie gripped his phone tightly at that, Eddie lying lifeless in his arms replaying in his head as his manager continued to scream at him. He went on and on about what a mess Richie had caused, how many shows he'd missed, yada yada. Richie just couldn't take it anymore.

"You're fired." He spat, scaring himself with the harsh tone of his own voice.

"And don't forget- what?"

There was a beat of silence before Richie finally said fuck it. "I said you're fucking fired. Tell Megan and Anthony to refund all of the tickets and put out an apology, say it was an emergency. And it doesn't matter if someone died or even if I just wanted to fuck off for a while and binge drugs. It's your guys' job to fix it, that's what you get paid to do right? Well not you anymore since you're fired, but you get it."

"Richie wait-" He hung up before he could hear anymore, panting from both anger and relief.

"Are you okay?" Eddie's voice was soft behind him, and it made Richie smile even after such a heated phone call.

"I'm awesome." He nodded, turning to face him. "I just fired my manager!"

A confused look crossed Eddie's face before the corners of his mouth lifted in amusement. "Congratulations?"

"Yes! Congratulations to me!" He was practically yelling with a stupid grin on his face. "Do you know what this means Eddie? It means I no longer give a single shit! I can write my own material now, I can just be me!" Well, sort of.

"Look out world." Eddie laughed. "Richie Tozier being himself. Everybody take cover!"

They both stood there in the hallway, laughing like idiots. After a minute or two, Eddie gripped his chest and shook his head. "Okay, okay. No more laughing, it's getting uncomfortable."

"Want me to loosen them?"

"Just a little, do you mind?" Eddie was already pulling at the seams, itching to get some distance from the binding. Richie could only imagine how annoying it was to sleep in them.

"Course not." Richie led him to the bathroom and sat him on the toilet. "Stay here, I'll go grab the stuff." He made his way quickly into Eddie's room to retrieve the various supplies needed but by the time he walked back into the bathroom, he was startled to see that Eddie had already removed everything.

"Woah Eds, when did you get so eager to check yourself out?" His voice was laced with the shock he felt, seeing as Eddie couldn't even open his eyes while the nurses changed the bandages back at the hospital. "It's looking better and better by the day man, you're like superhuman or something."

Eddie didn't answer, he just stood shirtless facing the mirror with a blank expression. The only part of him that moved were his eyes, slowly scanning his reflection. He stood frozen for too long, melting the smirk off of Richie's face. "Are you-"

He didn't even get to ask before Eddie flew to his knees, barely making it over the toilet to empty his breakfast into the bottom of the bowl. Richie cringed hard at the retching sounds coming from the man he cared about so much. "Jesus Eddie, what happened? Are you hurt, what's going on?"

"Look at me Richie!" Eddie scoffed before lurching back over the bowl.

"Did you not just hear me? It's looking better and better, what is wrong with you?"

"What is wrong with me? I look like I was thrown into a fucking woodchipper-" He interrupted himself with a dry heave, coughing his lungs out over the bowl.

"Eddie I promise you don't, I swear. Dude you need to calm down, you're going to hurt yourself." He was bent next to Eddie, rubbing soothing circles on his back with his hands gripping his shoulders. It was where the claw first struck him, and if Eddie was freaking out about his chest then he definitely didn't need to see his back. "Take a few breaths with me, c'mon."

Richie carefully helped him to his feet, continuing his gentle grip on his shoulders. "There ya go. You're okay."

"I'm fucking broken."

"You're fine."

"I'm ugly."

"You're perfect." Richie said it so forcefully and so quickly that he didn't even have time to register what he was saying. Eddie's eyes moved from his reflection to Richie's.

"Not funny Richie." He mumbled.

Richie scoffed, removing his hand from Eddie's shoulder to rub his face before throwing it in the air. "For God's sake Eddie, I'm not joking! I know it's hard to believe but not everything out of my mouth is a joke! I'm serious, you really are perfect. You are recovering so well, you're leaving your abusive wife, you're trying new things, you're just so perfect so stop degrading yourself! Your mom did enough of that when you were a kid, man, so stop. Damn..."

"Rich-"

"No, sit your ass down and let me change your bandages. We can talk about everything later." To his surprise, Eddie listened and sat quietly on the lid of the toilet. Richie never liked silence, but he didn't want Eddie running his mouth about how ugly he thought he was either. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell... You know Eds, if you're ugly then I must be an actual dumpster fire."

He looked up just in time to catch the small laugh leaving Eddie's lips. "You're not, Rich."

"You don't have to lie, I'm aware of my mess."

"Looks good on you." It came out of Eddie's mouth so low that Richie thought he could've imagined it. To save himself the embarrassment, he quickly bound his chest and left Eddie to brush his teeth until his mouth was free of the taste of vomit.

He made his way back to the couch and scrolled through channels while Eddie did his thing in the bathroom. "Hey Rich?" He emerged from the hallway, holding up his shirt. "Can you help me?"

"Sure, Eds. With the shirt?"

Eddie nodded, slowly padding his way towards the couch and handing over the clothing. "Thanks."

"Still too weak?" Richie regretted it as soon as he said it, and he quickly looked up to Eddie with guilty eyes. "I'm sor-"

"It's okay." Eddie shook his head. "I know you didn't mean it like that. Just these stupid bandages... don't give me the best arm mobility. I got it off but I can't get it back on."

"Don't worry about it. They'll be off before you know it." He slipped the shirt over Eddie's head before gasping in surprise as Eddie knocked him clean onto his back.

"This seem weak to you?" There was a smirk on his face, hovering above him. Richie didn't answer, he just smiled back and nodded. God, Eddie looked so handsome dangling from above him and practically straddling his hips. Then Richie tried desperately not to panic, seeing as this is how Eddie was on top of him right before he was impaled.

You're safe. Richie reminded himself, and thankfully his phone buzzing in his pocket again had Eddie rolling off of him. He lifted his hips off of the couch, not bothering to get up while he dug his phone out of his pocket.

"It's Bev." Richie's grin grew, and he quickly placed the phone up to his ear. "What's the special occasion sweetcheeks?"

"Did you get the letter?" Her words were low and made Richie feel uneasy.

"What letter?"

"Stan he-" Her voice sounded broken and she sniffled. "Patty sent out a letter that he wrote. It's addressed to all of us. Check your mail." She didn't have to finish before Richie left a confused Eddie sitting on the couch as he ran to his front door, tearing it open so he could sprint to the mailbox.

He dumped the pile onto the coffee table, frantically scattering the papers and bills aside as he looked for the envelope from a Stanley Uris. He finally found one sent from a Patricia Uris, and he sat on the floor, opening it with Bev still on the phone.

Dear Losers,

I know what this must seem like, but this isn't a suicide note. You're probably wondering why I did what I did. It's because I knew I was too scared to go back. And if we weren't together? If all of us alive weren't united? I knew we'd all die. So, I made the only logical move. I took myself off the board. Did it work? Well, if you're reading this, you know the answer. I've lived my whole life afraid. Afraid of what would come next. Afraid of what I might leave behind. Don't be. Be who you want to be. Be proud. And if you find someone worth holding on to, never, ever, let them go. Follow your own path, wherever that takes you. Think of this letter as a promise.

A promise I'm asking you to make. To me. To each other. An oath. See, the thing about being a loser is, you don't have anything to lose. So... Be true. Be brave. Stand. Believe. And don't ever forget, we're losers, and we always will be.

-Stanley

"Richie?" Beverly said it at the same time as Eddie. Richie didn't realize he had started crying until a drop fell onto the paper. With trembling hands, he wordlessly handed it to Eddie, watching him read for a moment before speaking into the phone.

"I miss him, Bevvy."

"I do too Richie. I cried for like an hour after reading it. I figured I should check and make sure you and Eddie got it."

"Rich, what the fuck?" Eddie was clearly just as affected, his lips quivering before biting down on them. "I was not ready for this."

"Neither was I." Richie let out a wet laugh, wiping his face with the back of his hand. "But you know he wouldn't care."

"How is he? How's Eddie doing?" Bev laughed with them, her voice still soft.

"He's holding up. Wounds are looking mighty fine." He winked over at Eddie, who glared at him from behind the paper.

"And how are you?"

"Well I was enjoying some reality tv, but now I'm sitting on the floor, crying like a little bitch."

"Of course you were. Can Eddie hear me?"

He shook his head before realizing he was an idiot. "Uh, no."

"Good. I think you should listen to the letter."

"What?"

"C'mon hun, I know you're smart." She hummed. "You hated yourself for not telling Eddie how you felt before he died, now's your chance. Read it again Richie. Stan is talking to you."

He quickly grabbed the letter from Eddie and ran to his room, slamming the door behind him. "Bev, I can't. It's going to fuck everything up. I can't when he still needs me."

"Listen to me, I promise you everything is going to be fine. You can't let this keep eating you alive, you deserve to be happy."

"I can't, I can't." He was crying again, sitting down on his bed to relieve his shaking legs.

"Read it again, Richie."

Despite being a wreck, he lifted the paper back up and read the same lines over and over. The lines that Stan was telling him in his head. Be true. Be brave. Be true. Be brave. Be true. Be brave. "I have to go Bev, talk to you soon." He hung up before she could answer, and he just looked at the mirror on his wall for a long time. "Be true... Be brave..."

His leg was bouncing up and down, lungs gasping for air. "Stop thinking so much." He scolded himself, reaching for his phone again and opening twitter. He had a ton of notifications, asking where he was, if he was okay, why he missed a bunch of shows. His team had put out a statement saying that he had a family emergency and that all tickets would be refunded in full. There were people who were understanding, and there were people who were angry.

Suddenly, the weight on his chest lifted as he realized that there was no winning, and for some reason that was comforting. Again, he just shrugged his shoulders, staring himself down in the mirror and saying "Fuck it! Fuck it, I'm true, I'm brave!" He clicked on the video button and lifted the phone to his face before pressing record.

"Oh shit, it's actually recording. Okay, okay. Deep breaths. Alright, first things first. I'm really sorry for having to cancel some shows, as you all may know by now, I had an emergency back home and had to take some time off. I can't go into too much detail, but to sum it up, some crazy shit went down. I know, I'm a shithead but let's be real, that's why you bought tickets to see me in the first place." He smiled at his camera before taking a few deep breaths. "But that's not all. I've also taken this time to reflect a little bit on myself and my career. No, I'm not quitting comedy or anything like that but I'm gonna change things up. I'm just gonna come clean and say it, my material hasn't been mine. It's a script given to me with things that the audience is guaranteed to eat up. And you did, and I really appreciate the support but it's not me. I'm not a racist, and I don't hate women. All of my degrading jokes about different races and genders are not written by me, and while some of them are hilarious, I don't condone any type of hate. I know a lot of you women out there hate the jokes about my girlfriend, but you'll be glad to hear that those are all fake too."

He hesitated for only a split second before blurting the rest out. "Because I'm gay! Woah, it feels so weird to say it out loud, but it's true! I'm super homo and I really like dick! It's crazy, I know, men are just really doing it for me these days. And trust me this isn't some prank or joke. I really am strictly dickly, but I'm still the same trash mouthed asshole. Next time I'm on stage, you'll be hearing my own jokes, and they will be so much better. So if you hated me for the old me, hopefully, you'll give me a chance. And if you hate me for the new me, you can suck my dick. Especially if you're a guy because once again, I'm very gay. I hope that really pisses off all of the homophobes out there. Be true and be brave, I love you all." He ended the recording with a smile and posted it with the caption I'm back and proud bitches.

It was like his mind split in two. Half of his brain was in full panic mode. What the fuck what the fucking fuck Richie, what the fuck did you just do??? But the other half was almost abnormally calm. We did the right thing, we are fine, everything is okay.

For what seemed like forever, half of him waited for the world to end, while the other half waited to transcend into a more relaxed plane of existence. He hesitantly checked his phone after a few minutes, immediately crying at the replies. He was blown away by how many people had replied and retweeted his video with rainbow flags and hearts, but a few replies caught his eye.

@BenHandscom ✓

We love you Richie <3

@BevMarsh ✓

You are so so so loved. I'm so proud of you, always!

@BillDenbrough ✓

Time for a celebration! Check your texts :)

He smiled at all of the replies, including the ones from fans that were confused as to how all four knew each other. Like Bill requested, he checked his messages and they were filled with texts from a ton of people. His comedy team for the most part were all supportive, and only his publicist was frustrated that he hadn't come to her first but he didn't care. Some from other comedians flooded in, mostly with congratulations and more rainbow flag emojis with hearts. He opened the group chat with the losers, and of course it was only more nice things.

Big Bill: Trashmouth, that was awesome, way to go!

Bevvy: I know I said it already, but I love you and I'm so proud. Just know that I didn't mean to push you to out yourself to the WORLD right this instant, but I'm glad you did.

Mikey: So happy for you, I hope you're really happy!

Benjamin: Good for you man, I'm only slightly offended that Bev knew first.

Richie: Thanks guys :,) and shut it Benny boy, I told her without even thinking really...

Bevvy: Hey!

Richie: Love you all, thank you so much for the support. You're safe now Bev, the men in this chat are fair game now >:)

Mikey: I love you too but I'll pass

Big Bill: Beep Beep Tozier. You're