Author: IntoTheTempest

Prepare yourself, take a nice, deep breath and hold on tight. This isn't going to be fun for you. 

Seriously. 

Actually, I'm just kidding. 

Plot:

The plot seems refreshingly unique, or maybe it's the writing that makes it seem that way but whatever, I'm all for it. You have wonderful pacing, like seriously, just as I was starting to get bored and *ugh how much more of this do I have left to read* you picked up the pace and grabbed my interest back right at the last moment. I really do like the idea of this, or at least what I think it's about. 

4/5

Grammar:

*rolls eyes* 

5/5

Descriptions:

Hell yes dude! I love your descriptions, they're perfect and in the right places and literally everything that I want in life. So congrats you're the best. 

5/5

Characters:

You're killing me. 

I love the main character Leandyr, he is vibrant, and quirky and perfect. There is just something so charismatic about him that makes me really want to keep reading just to see what happens to him. I also love that he's a mischievous bastard, that just makes it better and sells the whole character even more. Or even the chick with the whip (I can't think of her name at the moment) she had personality too, and a lot of time people neglect their secondary characters a lot.

5/5

What I Hated:

2nd Paragraph first chapter: Whatever tricks were played and how far they were taken was up to the perpetrators conscience - that little other that danced in the back of everyone's mind. I don't know what you meant to put after the hyphen, but I can't quite understand what you're trying to say. 

A couple paragraphs down you have a "had had" that shouldn't be there. Someone already pointed it out, but whatever, I'm going to as well. 

4/5

Overall:

Stttttoooooop it. I love this story so much, and you're writing style and ugh. I can't handle it. I knew that I already was a fan of your writing, from when I reviewed/critiqued your book Magika. But, sometimes you make one amazing story and then another one falls flat. This isn't the case for you, and honestly you're really talented. 

I'm not purposefully stoking your ego, if I found something to hate, then I would really rip it apart, but I didn't. 

I really like this story and I'm going to keep on reading it, but I also never finished Magika either, so I'll have to add it to the list. But, I will get to it!

Final Score:

23/25