The long-anticipated day had finally arrived. Everyone on stage checked and double-checked to ensure we were all in our correct positions. As the lights dimmed, signaling the start of our live performance, we braced ourselves, ready to give it our all.
---
"Good work, everyone!" Ms. Pram announced as she entered our dressing room, carrying a bouquet of flowers. We had just wrapped up our comeback showcase, and it had been a resounding success.
"Good work to you too, Ms. Pram, and to everyone else," said Som, one of the eldest members of our group. She bowed to everyone in the room, referring to all the staff who had supported us behind the scenes and on stage. Following her lead, we all bowed, and the room erupted in lively chatter.
"By the way, these flowers are from our CEO for you ladies. You each have one, but I couldn't carry them all up here, so the rest are still in the car. Sorry!" Ms. Pram added, and we all laughed at her endearing effort. "But forget the flowers. This here," she continued, fishing something out of her pocket. When she finally revealed it, she held it up proudly.
Our eyes widened in delight as we recognized the rectangular plastic card. It was the one and only corporate card!
"Tonight's dinner and after-party are on the company!" she declared, and everyone cheered enthusiastically.
I smiled. Aside from performing on stage, moments like these reminded me why I chose this career.
*Knock! Knock!*
Our celebratory mood was interrupted by a knock on the already open door.
"P'Mai!" I couldn't help but raise an eyebrow as Praewa quickly went to greet the unexpected visitor.
"Congratulations on your comeback, N'Praewa. I watched your performance earlier. You were great as always," Mai said, handing Praewa a sunflower.
I rolled my eyes at the scene. I was about to intervene when I caught Pammu's gaze. Quickly, I turned away from both Pammu and the duo at the door, settling back into my chair with my back to them.
"God, P'Mai. Is Praewa the only Cosmos member you see here? Where's your manners?" Mer's voice cut through the air, breaking the awkward tension.
'Damn right! She has no manners indeed,' I thought but chose to keep silent.
"Says the person who only brought flowers to Atom," Mai retorted, shutting Mer up.
Everyone laughed at the siblings' bickering. I wasn't interested in their exchange, but hearing Praewa's loud laughter made me turn around. She was holding the sunflower with such care, as if it were one of her most prized possessions.
I clenched my fist.
Grabbing my things hastily, I stood up from my chair. I knew I had caught the attention of the other members, but I didn't care. I needed to get out of this room. It was suffocating me for some inexplicable reason!
---
I couldn't sleep last night.
Every time I closed my eyes, Praewa's smile and that damn sunflower in her hand haunted me. I couldn't understand why I felt this way. So what if Praewa and Mai were getting closer? Why should it matter to me?
Maybe I was just worried about our career. What if someone noticed their closeness? What if they got photographed being overly friendly and it went viral online? It would be a mess, and my career would undoubtedly be affected too!
"Right. It's just about our career. This is nothing. Just don't think much about it, Noon," I told myself, lightly slapping my cheeks to snap out of my thoughts.
"I knew you would be here." The voice startled me, and I jumped in surprise. I was currently on the rooftop of our company building, my usual spot for finding fresh air.
I turned and saw Pammu. "Sorry. Ms. Pram said you arrived early, but you weren't in the waiting room, so I came here. Did I scare you?" she asked, sitting beside me on the wooden bench.
"A bit. I didn't hear the door open."
"Well, judging from how you smacked yourself earlier, you must have been deep in thought. Let me guess the cause—Praewa and Mai?"
I looked at her, unsurprised. "As always, not beating around the bush," I commented, and she just smiled. "Well, you're right. I was." I confirmed her guess.
There was no use denying it when she had already pinpointed what was on my mind. Pammu was just that observant. "But nothing to worry about now. I've sorted it out," I added.
"Really? And your conclusion is?" she asked, urging me to explain further.
Of course, I told her what I had concluded earlier. I recounted all the times I felt something stir within me whenever Praewa got close to someone else. I even admitted that I had once thought I might have feelings for her and that perhaps I was jealous, but I dismissed those thoughts as impossible.
"Why is it impossible?"
Her sudden question left me speechless. Yeah. Why was it impossible again?
As if sensing my hesitation, Pammu continued, "Did you think it was impossible because you were used to people liking you first and you not reciprocating their feelings?"
Was I? I wasn't sure.
"But didn't you not reciprocate those feelings because you knew they were all shallow? A 'love' mistaken for pure admiration and nothing more?"
Yes. She was right.
"You were so used to empty confessions that when someone showed you real 'love,' you were so shaken you couldn't recognize its genuineness, to the point of pushing that person away."
Pammu tapped my back. "Back at the resort, I saw how jealous you looked when Atom wiped the dirt from Praewa's face. Those were not the eyes of someone who has no feelings for another, Noon," she said.
I looked at her in surprise. She saw that?
"And yesterday, you gave Mai the same jealous look." I looked away. "So, can you see it now? You couldn't sleep last night because you were jealous. And scared."
I looked at her again, confused. "Scared?"
She nodded. "Yes, scared. If Praewa opens her heart to Mai, what do you think you'd feel?"
I opened my mouth, but no words came out. Praewa and Mai together? It didn't even take me a minute to think. "No! I can't let that happen," I blurted out.
Pammu smiled at me. "Then do something. It's now your turn to chase my friend."
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