CHAPTER 15, SPREADING FIRE

❝ALONE, AGAIN❞

-

I'M WOKEN UP BY the slow rhythm of a chest rising and falling from under me. I sigh, realising the loneliness of the night had collided our bodies, both searching for the comfort of human warmth. I choose to stay there, staring up peacefully at the round roof of the dark cave, that had kept us somewhat safe.

Closing my eyes, I enjoy the calmness of the moment, ignoring the chaos that thrived outside of this space. After a short minute, I feel Cato's body still, translating the end of his sleep. 

At that, the upper half of my body gets up, and the sudden presence of the boy's hand on my lower back is enough to send chills travel through my spine.

I turn around, my eyes setting onto the sly grin set onto the blond's face.

"Don't get too comfortable" I mumble, now fully standing up.

"You weren't saying that that when you were cuddling me last night, sweetheart." Cato confidently replies, raising his eyebrow.

"Do you ever just shut up?" I snap back, shooting him a clearly fake-smile, not ready to match his usual cockiness, having just woken up.

"Well, you definitely aren't a morning person." he whispers under his breath, but loud enough for me hear.

"At least you're right about one thing" I answer, searching my bag for a small portion of food, that could supply my stomach with minor contempt and ease my mind, tricking myself into thinking I had eaten breakfast. I sit down and bite into a minuscule chunk of meat I had stored from yesterday, and Cato's figure approaches me. I hand him what's left of his part of yesterday's meal, that had also been put into my bag. He gulps down it in an instant.

The mystery of the day that presented itself strains my thoughts, and I know that I had to separate from my muscular companion, no matter how much that seemed to somewhat scare me. 

I have a nagging feeling we were approaching the end of the games more and more. I felt like I was stuck walking in a narrow tunnel, and I could only go one way: towards the light. Towards my victory. My home. And I couldn't do that with Cato by my side.

"Want me to show where to find Peeta?" the boy asks, peering down at me.

"Please" I genuinely say, already excited at the prospect of seeing my friend.

"Okay then. Pack all your stuff, and then let's go." he assertively demands. I raise my eyebrows, noticing him avoiding my gaze.

"You're kicking me out?" I chuckle, disguising the small amount of hurt that blossomed in my heart. However, I couldn't help but feel relieved that he was the one that proposed the end of this possible alliance, carrying the weight of the demand.

Cato crouches down in front of me, finally choosing to make eye contact.

"Yeah. It's killing me I have to." he says, the same, usual smirk appearing on his face. A smirk that sent my body into an indescribable fuzziness, that I refused to show. Instead, I approach the boy, our faces barely a few inches apart.

"How much?" I taunt, taking a part into his game.

"You have no idea." he breathes. He takes a quick glance at my lips before fixating my eyes again.

"Actually, I have a little idea." I whisper into his ear, our cheeks grazing each other's. For a moment, I just stay there, enjoying the tingling sentiment cursing through my bones. I smile at the sound of Cato's ragged breathing and decide to interrupt the moment by adding:

"Ready to take me to Peeta then?"

"Fine. Since you want it that badly." he grunts, obviously disappointed by the abrupt ending of the flirty conversation.

I finish collecting my things that had been lying around, and tighten my knife belt, practically complete with different blades. I make sure my mockingjay pin is still clinging onto my coat, palming the design. I put my hair into a high, tight ponytail and follow Cato out of the cave.

Immediately, I wince at the strong contact of the sun scorching my face. I bring up my hand to my forehead, serving as an ineffective protection.

-

"How do you even know where he is?" I inquire as we walk through the woods, my muscles aching.

"Saw him going there after he escaped our group. Didn't bother going after him, he was as good as dead with his injury." Cato answers, a little ahead of me, leading the way.

"What injury?" I instantly answer, worried for the boy.

"Clove stuck a knife in his calf after we suspected he was trying to keep you safe." he shrugs.

"That's nice of you." I mutter, picking nervously at my nails.

"And here we are" Cato articulates, coming to a halt.

My eyes set onto the familiar stream where Rue and I had made camp at the beginning of the games. The stream begins to curve to the left into a part of the woods that's new to me. Muddy banks covered in tangled water plants lead to large rocks that increase in size until I begin to feel somewhat trapped.

"Thank you." I say, gratefully looking up at the boy from 2, whose demeanour looked anything but joyful. It felt like the right time to express a sorrowful goodbye, but none of us had the courage to do to initiate it. We had, after all, always been aware of how our small alliance was deemed to end, but it managed to still cause my heart to ache.

"I still hate you 12, don't get any ideas." Cato murmurs in my ear, and I can't help but let a smile spread onto my cheeks.

"Bet I hate you more." I add, crossing my arms over my chest. We were both purposefully missing the deeper layers of the conversation, but this was a much better way to say goodbye. Replacing a possibly display of sadness with the usual, comforting teasing that supposedly got on my nerves.

I turn around, facing Cato, a smile on both our faces, and, repeating my action from one of our encounters on the rooftop of the Capitol, I get on my tip-toes and kiss his cheek. While I do so, he doesn't move, but I can already tell a confident grin is making its way to his lips.

When I meet his gaze again, he simply says:

"You know, I could take you all the way to Peeta."

"I'm a big girl. I can handle myself" I reply, trying my best to sound similarly confident, apprehending the growing fear of loneliness that would settle the longer Cato stays at my side. I unconsciously toy with a lock of my dark hair.

"If you say so." he shrugs, lifting his chin.

"Goodbye Cato" I finally say, looking out into the horizon of the bright forest, that still reminded me so much of my home.

"Goodbye Jade. Best of luck." he answers truthfully, and I sense his burning gaze on my face. I meet his blue eyes until he decides to turn around, and make his way back to his refuge, leaving me standing in the middle of the tall trees. I don't try to look back, and continue making my way forward, searching for Peeta.

-

It's been about an hour since my newfound loneliness and my desperate seeking for my district partner. My breathing gets louder under the shining rays of the sun and my muscles ache terribly. My grip on my machete slips a little, under the sweating of my palm, and I try to stay focused on my task.

Yet, Cato's smirk, face, eyes stay imprinted in my mind, no matter how much I try to brush it off. The softness of his cheek lingers in my thoughts and I've already come to miss the repetitive teasing and tension that managed to emerge in every conversation. I was also thankful for the security and comfort he somehow provided me.

I shake my head, aware that it was of no use to keep thinking about the arrogant male from 2. It was even better to wish for his immediate and rapid death, instead of facing the possibility of him being my last opponent.

Instead, I needed to put all of my remaining focus on Peeta. To my dismay, he was absolutely nowhere to be found, despite Cato's clear instructions and sightings. My boots clink onto the ground, and I wonder how a wounded boy could have managed to navigate getting to and from this water source, when I see the bloody streak going down the curve of a boulder. It's long dried now, but the smeary lines running side to side suggest someone tried to wipe it away.

I swipe my fingers onto the crimson liquid, knowing that it was Peeta's. I move to the direction of the stain, a few more drops indicating the path I was supposed to take. However, impatience has always been one of my principal flaws, and I break down, saying his name in a hushed voice:

"Peeta! Peeta!"

My foot has just broken the surface of the water, when I hear a cracked, hoarse voice replace the depressing silence.

"Over here Jade."

I whip around, rapidly scanning my surroundings, but my friend's face is nowhere to be found.

"Well, don't step on me."

I jump back, his voice right under my feet. Then his eyes open, unmistakably in the brown mud and green leaves. I gasp and am rewarded with a hint of white teeth as he laughs.

He had actually mastered the arts of camouflage, perfectly blending into his surroundings. I crouch down immediately, kneeling beside the boy.

"Guess all that baking paid off." I try to joke, the paleness on his face unmistakable. I gulp, handing him the rest of the water in my bottle in an instant.

"Yes, frosting. The final defence of the dying."

"You're not dying Peeta" I reply, but my heart sped at the realisation of how unwell he visibly appeared.

"I am, there's no use in denying it" he whispers, licking his lips as I hand him more water, and amounts of food.

When I start to help him to the stream, avoiding answering his statement, all the levity disappears. It's only two feet away, how hard can it be? I realise he's unable to move an inch on his own. He's so weak that the best he can do is not to resist. I try to drag him, but despite the fact that I know he's doing all he can to keep quiet, sharp cries of pain escape him.

I bite my lip, unsure of what to do next.

"I'm just happy you're here J, please just stay until-"

"Nothing's going to happen to you Peeta, I can't have that. Not again" I choke out, pressing my hand on his forehead, menacingly burning.

"It's going to be okay." he replies, taking my shaking hand into his, and keeping it close to his chest. I just nod, not having the courage to utter meaningless phrases of comfort. Peeta clearly wasn't going to get better any time soon. The only remaining hope belonged to the sponsors, but I doubted any kind of capitolian medicine could cure such illness.

-

Now, I'm laying next to him, appreciating his presence, slowly fading. I should have gotten accustomed to the dying faces of tributes, but Peeta's unlocked a painful sentiment.

"I've always loved you Jade. Since the moment my six year old self landed his eyes on you." Peeta mutters, interrupting the devastating silence.

My breath catches in my throat at this, but I'm far too numb to truly reflect on this sentence. Instead, a memory echoes in my mind, bringing me back to my carefree youth. I convince him to continue, to tell me his first impression of my small self.

"I remember the first day of school. We were five. You had on a red plaid dress and your hair, it was in two braids. You were already so pretty, the same smile on your face that you've kept throughout all these years," Peeta describes, his gaze settling on mine, tears gliding down his bruised skin in a leisurely pace.

"So that day, in music assembly, the teacher asked who knew the valley song. Your hand shot right up in the air. She stood you up on a stool and had you sing it for us. And I swear, every bird outside the windows fell silent," he continues, his lips twitching into a smile as he recalls onto this moment, where no worries plagued our minds.

"Oh, please," I say, laughing, his words effectively distracting me from the situation. I'm pulled back to my childhood, contempt and joy flowing in my veins.

"No, it happened. And right when your song ended, I knew I was a goner," Peeta states, "Then for the next eleven years, I tried to work up the nerve to talk to you."

"Without success," I choose to add.

"Without success. So, in a way, my name being drawn in the reaping was a real piece of luck..." he finishes, causing my eyes to dart down onto the ground, reality crashing back.

"But I'm glad I have you here with me now... in my last moments" he utters, his voice cracking under the weight and tragedy of his statement.

I feel powerless, and I know I can't do anything to change Peeta's fate. I choke back a sob, placing my hand over my mouth, staring at the blond baker, whose death could be my fault...

"I love you too" I whisper after a long pause, after he's finished to articulate these words, planting a kiss onto his wet forehead.

This feels different from Rue's death, since a certain peacefulness owned this tragic moment. Instead of choosing to weakly ignore the pain that the moment triggered, I spend my full attention on him, his death inevitable. 

At least I was here for him, to accompany him into a new beginning, I think to myself.

"Sing for me, please. Before I-" Peeta suddenly comments, eyes pleading. I interrupt him, dreading the end of that sentence. I open my mouth, using all my remaining strength to force a melody out of it.

"Deep in the meadow, under the willow, a bed of grass, a soft green pillow, lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes, and when again they open, the sun will rise." I start, my voice slightly croaky, tears cascading down my cheeks.

"Here it's safe, here it's warm, here the daisies guard you from every harm, here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true, here is the place where I love you." I finish, holding onto Peeta's face, stroking his cheek as I say my final goodbyes.

𝔞𝔲𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔯'𝔰 𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢

100 readers!!!!! THANK U SO MUCH