////

-Jordan-

you are now in a groupchat with Manu and 27 others.

Jordan: guys i'm so excited omfg

Robben: why

Aw robben was the first to respond..he really cares <3

Jordan: i just got my dress back from the fitting and it looks ahhh-mazing

David Alaba: I wanna see it

Jordan: no

David Alaba: why :/

Jordan: because I don't want my prom date to see it yet

Philipp Lahm: once again, we're going to prom not getting married

David Alaba: text it to me privately.

David Alaba: I need to make sure to help Philipp get something that'll look good with that

Jordan: aw are you dressing him 😂

David Alaba: me and xabi

Jordan: is xabi even in this group chat? He hasn't said anything

+1736551836: thats because I have nothing to say

Jordan: oh hi

Xabi Alonso: hòla

T-mas: XABI HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT WE ARE IN GERMANY, WE ARE GERMANS SO WE SPEAK GERMAN

Jerome Boateng: ^^^ calm down tommy boy

Jordan: its funny you and toni kroos just swapped lives

Manu: WE DO NOT SPEAK OF HIM HERE

T-mas: he-who-must-not-be-named is never mentioned

Marco the bae: rofl what is this harry potter? 😭

T-mas: don't mock us you filthy dortmund

Marco the bae: whoa someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today

Robben: he gets very emotional when we mention you-know-who

Jordan: are you serious thomas? Lmao

T-mas: he had one job and it was to stay by my side till forever not leave me for those madriots

Jordan: madriots? you mean madristas?

T-mas: sure

Jordan: i cant handle you sometimes

Marco the bae: so you guys just don't mention toni kroos? 😏

T-mas: you did that on purpose

Jerome Boateng: lets vote him off our group chat

Marco the bae: just for that i'm going to buy his real madrid jersey and sent it to each and every one of you

T-mas: you are dead to me

Marco the bae: mind if I add a friend to this group chat 😁😁

Jordan: idc go for it

Marco the bae: this ones for you thomas

+14864526879 has been added to your group chat

Marco the bae: hola amigo

+14864526879: what is this?

T-mas: marco you have no heart how could you add him

Jordan: who is this?

Marco the bae: jordan this is the famous Toni Kroos, the love of Thomas's life 😭

T-mas: I'm married

Toni Kroos: hello? Can someone please explain to me whats going on and who's jordan? Why does Thomas love me?

Jordan: so many question, well i'm jordan your future wife and mother to your children

Toni Kroos: what

Jordan: what

T-mas: how could you betray me like this to toni

Toni Kroos: hello to you too Thomas

Arjen Robben: ugh you again

Toni Kroos: missed you more Arjen 😘

David Alaba: i don't even know what to say to you kross

Toni Kroos: its kroos david

David Alaba: i know but you crossed over to the other side so its kross now

Toni Kroos: missed you too

Toni Kroos: wow guys showering me with all this love I can't take it

Arjen Robben: go to sleep

Toni Kroos: i'll be dreaming about you

///

@lewangötze: international games is the only time I enjoy seeing toni kroos in a white jersey

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