Chapter 11: Decisions
Hehe

More studying, less messing around.

More helping Mrs. Weasley, less sneaking around with her second-oldest son.

More focusing on what should be most important to me, less focusing on what constantly took the forefront of my mind.

More school, less Charlie.

It wasn't easy. Merlin, it sucked. Seeing Charlie and not being able to do anything about it... it was pretty much torture for me.

See, it shouldn't have been like that. I had my first kiss with the guy one week ago and now I found him so utterly irresistible (not that I hadn't before) that it genuinely concerned me. Before, I could find him extremely attractive and it wasn't an issue. But now he was intent on 'having' me. And I had had my first taste of what being with Charlie would entail.

The holidays were over. Christmas, New Years', all of them. It was the last day before I would go back to Hogwarts, which left me one month to decide where I would be going to study, essentially giving me four weeks to plan out my future. Charlie and I had barely seen each other, but he amounted it to my copious amounts of schoolwork and the constant inconvenient presence of at least one of his siblings.

Meanwhile, I was trying to avoid him because confronting him meant that I had to make a big decision, to which the only solution was ending my relationship with Charlie. There was no way that would go well for either of us but neither would staying together. I had created a mess for myself.

"Y/N, maybe you should take the day off from studying. I mean, don't get me wrong, you've done a lot and I'm honestly really impressed, but you're going to burn yourself out. Once we get back to school, you won't have breaks," Percy suggested from beside me. I was sitting on his bed, hunched uncomfortably over a textbook.

"I don't need one," I dismissed.

"I never said you did. I'm just saying that you deserve one."

As if. I didn't deserve half of what I already had. I had a whole family that treated me like I was an angel. A best friend that was doing so much for me, a girl who looked up to me. And I was lying to all of them about more than just Charlie. The guilt and the anxiety from lying about getting permission for this program were exhausting and likely the reason I couldn't sleep.

"Breakfast!" Mrs. Weasley yelled. Percy sighed and stood up.

"Maybe we can go for a walk or something later?" he asked.

"Maybe," I said as I finished the page I was reading.

I followed Percy into the dining room and sat beside him. Ron was seated at my other side.

"Up." Ron looked up into Charlie's face at the demand before sliding out of the seat and surrendering it to his older brother.

"Goodmorning, Y/N," Charlie greeted gruffly, an iciness backing his voice that made my stomach flip.

"Hi," I responded lamely.

"Haven't seen you much the last few days," he remarked quietly, his voice constrained as if he was trying to keep any indicators of emotion hidden.

"I've been busy," I responded, not looking at him for fear of losing what little resolve I had remaining.

"Busy," he repeated humorlessly.

"With school," I explained shortly.

"Ah, mail is here!" Mrs. Weasley exclaimed, not having picked up on the tension at the table. Charlie broke his gaze from my face and watched as his mother took a few envelopes from their owl and leafed through them. "Y/N, you've got one."

I accepted the letter that she held out to me and felt butterflies erupt in my stomach as I saw McGonagall's handwriting. I tore open the envelope with shaking hands and pulled out the letter, feeling Charlie's fingers brush against my leg in a way that I assumed was meant to comfort me. Even when I was an ass, he was still considerate.

Miss Y/L/N,

Attached is a list of possible locations abroad. I have marked ones that have opportunities for those going into Healing.

Bishop Hospital for Magical Persons, Salem, Massachusetts, U.S.A.*

Walpurgis Hotel, Lower Saxony, Germany

Romanian Dragon Sanctuary, Govora, Romania*

Triora Place, Paroldo, Italy*

Yuta Divination Palace, Okinawa, Japan

Hallé Hall, Victoria, B.C., Canada

Serapion Administration for Care of Magical Creatures, Gorodets, Russia

El teatro del chocolate de mesa de Melchora de los Reyes, Antigua Guatemala, Guatemala

Please note that the specific locations listed are where you would be apprenticing and/or boarding. Triora Place and the Romanian Dragon Reserve are not hospitals but have on-site Healers at all times.

I looked over the note. Eight locations, three of which had Healing apprenticeships available, one of which had Charlie. That left two, one of which had an entirely new language to learn. So, realistically, that left one. Salem, Massachusetts.

"Is it news from the program, dear?" Mrs. Weasley asked, I could feel eyes on me. Too many.

"It is," Charlie answered for me, noticing my face, which basked in the finality of this letter.

"That's wonderful! Is it the list that you've been expecting?"

"Mum, can you excuse us?" Percy spoke up from beside me. Mrs. Weasley's face dropped in worry, but she nodded at Percy. "Come on, Y/N," he said quietly and led me outside.

Percy and I walked out to the backyard of the Burrow, to the garden. He and I sat down on the bank next to the pond. Frogs ribbeted with euphoric ignorance.

"It's a lot, isn't it?" Percy asked and stared into the pool of water.

"Yeah," I responded, hating the hollowness of my voice. The letter was still between my fingers.

He sighed and sat in silence. "They don't understand how big this is," he explained quietly. "They do, but they don't understand what it really is to you. They don't know much of what has been going on... they don't know the way that you process things..."

"I know. I'm just a little..." I trailed off.

"Anxious," he supplied. "It's a big change coming."

"For both of us," I said, suddenly wanting to cry.

Percy was quiet for a moment. "It's going to be hard and different, but it'll be good."

"You don't know that."

"I know you, and I know that you can make light out of any situation. You're good at making big decisions. You've got four weeks to decide what you're going to do and you'll pick right."

"How can you know that?"

"Because no matter what you pick, I know that you will find a way to make it alright. You could pick the worst option and you would find a way to make it fun and meaningful," Percy said.

"My mother never signed the paper," I said and felt tears well in my eyes. "I forged her signature."

Percy wrapped his arms around me and I buried my face in his shoulder.

"All it would take is one word from her and all of this is over and I'm worse off than I was before," I whispered.

"You're eighteen," he tried.

"I'm legally her dependent until I graduate."

"She won't find out then. We've got to make sure of it."

"How? How are we going to do that when I am potentially moving halfway across the fucking world? I didn't realize how fucked I am until I saw those locations. There's nothing in Scotland, nothing in England. I fucked up, Percy."

"It's going to be fine," he said soothingly and hugged me.

"You keep saying that like you know it," I said and pulled away to look at him, "but you don't."

"I know that you are doing what you think is right and that's all that matters. Whatever happens is what happens and it'll have to be fine," he said, his eyebrows furrowing when he saw my facial expression.

"It's not right, what I'm doing," I admitted and played with the edge of the letter. "I'm lying to people who are trying to help me."

"It wasn't right for your mother to deny you this opportunity," Percy said. "I can't tell you what to do in this situation. But I'll support you, okay? Does anyone else know?"

I shook my head and sniffled.

"Then let's keep it that way for now," he said. "We'll figure the rest out when we get there, okay? All we need is to keep you in this program, right? So we'll focus on that. One step at a time."

I nodded as he wiped tears from my cheeks.

"Are you ready to go back in or do you need a few more minutes?"

"I'm ready."

***

The day passed faster than I would have liked. It was full of Weasleys seeking me out and asking me about what came next. Mr. Weasley was off from work and gave me a long-winded speech about each of the locations until Mrs. Weasley made an excuse for me.

But then she began to give me her very own speech about how I definitely should not choose to go to the United States. Little did she know that that was already my decision.

"Dear, of course, I would prefer for you to be close, but that's not my only reason for discouraging certain places. I mean, Charlie is at the reserve in Romania so you'd start out knowing people and he'd be able to keep an eye on you."

Her speech did nothing to sway me.

I laid in Percy's bed again, at night, unable to sleep, just like every other night at the Burrow. This time, it was because I knew that I had a responsibility to uphold. I had to end whatever I had with Charlie. Once I was sure that Percy was asleep, I crept up to Charlie's room, the creaky stairs alerting him of my visit. He opened the door before I had the chance to knock.

"I was hoping you'd come," he said. He was obviously about to go to sleep, in a pair of flannel pajama pants and a tight grey henley.

"Charlie," I breathed out as I saw him. "Hi."

"Hi," he chuckled softly. "Come in, please. I'm really glad you came up here. I was afraid you were going to run away without talking to me." He walked over to his bed and sat down before he patted the spot beside him. "I was thinking a lot about what you said, about us not doing things right and I wanted to tell you that I don't care and you shouldn't either. I mean, you're constantly doing things your own way. Why is this any different?"

"Charlie, I-"

"That was a rhetorical question because I already thought about that too. I know why you're so hesitant. You're scared," he said, "but you don't have to be... not with me. I'm a little scared too. You make me crazy."

"We just..." I stopped myself.

"We just what?" he asked. "It's not like we don't know each other. We've known each other forever. I know that this is new and it's happening fast, but if I could change anything, I'd just make it happen faster."

And then I was on his lap kissing him. And he was kissing me back, his arms winding tightly around my waist to hold me close to him.

This is good, my mind screamed. This is what you need. He is what you need.

"Charlie," I mumbled against his lips. "Please."

He knew. What I needed was what he needed, and what he needed was within his grasp, closer than it had ever been before. Vulnerability was terrifying, but it brought with it pleasure.

Charlie pushed me onto his bed, his body pressing me into his springy mattress. His lips dragged down to my neck and left wet kisses. His beard scraped my skin, a burning sensation following its wake and I finally understood what beard burn was.

"Y/N" -he pulled away with a deep breath, his cheeks flushed- "is this what you want? Tell me this is what you want and you can have me."

"Yes, I want you."

Clothes were stripped off one by one, discarded carelessly, only obstacles between him and me. First a shirt, a pair of pants, a too-tight henley.

"You're so beautiful," he murmured against my collarbone. His tongue darted out from between his lips to leave a trail below my collarbone. My chest heaved beneath him from the anticipation.

"Charlie, please," I begged and grabbed the hem of his pants to pull him closer to me, "I need you."

Charlie nodded breathlessly and discarded his pants before leaning over to the side and rummaging through his nightstand. He cursed under his breath before he sighed in relief. My eyes widened as he pulled off his briefs and rolled back on his haunches. I propped myself on my elbows and watched him slide a condom over his length, my mind reeling.

He met my wide eyes and leaned forward to capture my lips in a comforting kiss.

"Is it your first time?" he asked quietly. I shook my head no, not quite able to ignore the feeling of his length resting against my panties. "We'll start slow, okay?"

Charlie made quick work of my panties before he dragged a finger up from my entrance to my clit, humming under his breath.

"Are you ready?" he mumbled into my ear.

"Yes."

"Okay. But you've got to be quiet."

Charlie braced himself on his arm beside my head, his other hand positioning himself at my entrance. He slowly pushed his length inside of me, a deep growl escaping his throat. It hurt a little as he stretched my walls, but the discomfort subsided into pleasure as he carefully moved inside of me.

"Good girl," he breathed close to my ear as I sighed and rolled my hips against his.

"Charlie, faster, please."

He pulled back to look at my face before nodding and hooking one of his hands behind my knee. Charlie sped up his thrusts and an involuntary whimper escaped my lips. His hand left my knee and covered my mouth, the callouses scraping my cheeks. I moaned into his hand as he started thrusting harder and faster.

"Dammit, I want to hear you," he cursed. He buried his head in my shoulder to stifle his groan and bit down on the sensitive skin.

Charlie's movements were hard and rough. He found parts of me that I didn't know existed and brought them to life until I was completely undone and my mind stopped functioning. My body tingled under his stimulation, warning me that my release was coming. His hand clamped over my mouth didn't do much to make the ordeal any quieter between his barely-stifled groans, his skin hitting against mine, and the occasional squeaky protest of his bed underneath us.

I gripped his forearm tightly in an attempt to ground myself, my fingernails digging into his warm, sunkissed skin. My walls clenched around his length as I hit my climax. I arched my back into him and squeezed my legs around his hips. He cursed in response and his thrusts became sloppy as he finished.

Charlie carefully pulled out of me and disposed of the condom before he draped himself over me, his head resting on my chest and his hair tickling my chin.

"I don't want you to leave," he mumbled and kissed my chest.

I didn't know what he was referring to; leaving his room; leaving for Hogwarts; leaving for the United States.

"Stay with me for a little while," he said and propped himself up to look into my eyes. "Please."

"Okay."

so uh... as I write this chapter, people are storming the u.s. capitol building... yikes. by the time this is posted, we'll have a new president in the u.s., so that's something I guess.