Shoutout to @blueberryonthetop for this lovely poster!  An angle that gives me vertigo

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Chapter 95: A nano-second

I don't think I can handle a breakup.

Luke said that the scariest twenty seconds of his life was when he ran from his house to mine. My scariest twenty seconds? I'm looking at it.

I felt my chest tighten, but maybe that's because of my bra size - what an insane comment for him to make. What is wrong with him?! He goes from kissing my neck to saying we may not be right for each other?!

A break-up would break me.

"My mom is about to come home," I whispered, almost surprised that I had any breath left in me, "Maybe we can talk about this tomorrow?"

Or never.

I haven't slept. Today has been an endlessly long and terrible day. A stream of events that went from bad to worse. And my mom was coming home, I hadn't lied about that. But I also hadn't told the truth – that I was terrified of hearing his feelings.

I couldn't take on such a heavy conversation right now. I'd probably break down in front of him or yell something I'd regret. Talking about if we can change, if we don't want to change... what happens if our answer is no?

"Fine," Luke nodded, slowly pulling his hand away from mine, "We can talk tomorrow. You should sleep."

He stood up while I stayed seated on the edge of the bed. Maybe he was just being the realistic one.

"Will you call me if you can't sleep?" he asked. His voice was soothing and deep, "I know your mom's back but I can climb the window-"

"I'll be fine tonight," I said, already feeling at a loss for words, "If she's home and Flora's home... I think I'll be fine."

"Just call me," he repeated and leaned down to kiss me on my forehead.

My forehead.

**

Ten minutes after Luke Dawson walked out of my bedroom, I slept.

The events of the day had knocked all the energy out of me. With tiredness, I feel the optimism leak out of my body. I was looking forward to tomorrow, just to get rid of the stench of today.

My sleep was so deep that I didn't dream. Time passed and I had no idea if my mom came home, if she watched TV in the living room or went straight to her room.

I had no idea if Luke went back to his place or if he took his car and drove somewhere else.

My batteries needed to charge. They were long on empty.

**

I woke up and checked the time on my phone.

7 AM.

I closed my eyes and went back to sleep.

**

I woke up again and saw the sunlight outside my window. I hadn't drawn the blinds last night and then I realized I hadn't even changed out of my clothes.

Or brushed my teeth.

I rolled over in bed and slowly got up. I pressed my hand to my head, feeling groggy from the many hours of sleep. But it's what I needed. It's what I desperately needed.

The drawer of my bedside table was partly open and I saw the butcher's knife in it. For a split second I thought it was Halloween.

Then I remembered: it's just Saturday. I picked the knife up and walked downstairs, deciding to return it to its place. Except that I'd forgotten how I didn't live alone anymore.

I walked down the stairs and saw Doz sitting in front of the TV, eating chips. I saw Flora walking with her hair straightener to the dining room table and I saw my mom in the kitchen.

And they all saw me with a butcher's knife.

Full house.

"She's gone crazy," Flora commented, plugging in her straightener and turning the heat on, "All that time alone here has turned her into The Shining."

I stared at my sister, wondering how she can disappear from my life, not return my phone calls or texts, and then just return like nothing happened. We're back to cohabitating.

"Woah," Doz said, dropping his bag of chips and stepping very far away from me, almost knocking the TV over, "Are you feeling well, Millie?"

"Sort of," I replied, stepping off the last stair and walking towards the kitchen, "I'm just returning this. I was, uh, eating cheese in my room last night."

"With a butcher's knife?" Flora called out as she started to pat oil on her hair, "That feels like overkill."

I walked into the kitchen and passed my mom, who was opening all the cabinets, looking for something. I put the butcher knife back in its rightful place.

My mom's head was buried in the alcohol cabinet and she exclaimed, "What happened to my drinks? Millie, did you take any of the bottles?"

Yes.

"Someone broke in, remember?" I lied, "I think they stole the alcohol."

She slammed the cabinet shut, "We need a lock on that door."

"I can call a guy," Doz replied, sitting back comfortably on the couch again.

**

~Flora's POV~

I put my straightener on my vanity and started to unpack my makeup now that we were back home. I've missed having my own room and not sharing a bathroom with my mom and Doz.

Music was playing from my phone, but I could hear a voice faintly call out. "Psst! Hey!"

I pressed pause and listened to the voice outside my bedroom window. Was it talking to me?!

I walked over to my open window with my makeup brushes in hand. I looked out and saw...

Jake mothertrucking Dawson.

He had a beanie over his dark hair and a shirt with rolled up sleeves. He looked like so much trouble. If that didn't make me want to jump out the window and drive into the sunset on his motorbike with him, I don't know what will.

He stared up at me. "Hey Flora," he said, pressing his hand on his beanie, "Isn't this Millie's room?"

What do you think?

"No."

Serenading the wrong window. Maybe he isn't the brightest bulb.

Just then, I saw Millie walk up to him from whatever she'd been doing in the backyard. Probably tending to that animal grave again. I leaned on the windowsill to get comfortable and observe.

"What are you doing here, Jake?" she asked.

Jake turned to face her and lowered his hand into his back pocket. Is the bad boy nervous? Aw.

"Do you have thirty minutes? I need a really big favor," he said.

I don't have thirty minutes, so I really hope they speed this thing up.

I didn't catch what they said next, and leaned further out my window to eavesdrop. Millie sounded reluctant to help and they started to walk away from my window, which made it harder to hear.

Eventually I heard a car engine start up in the driveway. When I ran into Millie's room to look out into the driveway, her car was gone.

What in the world is wrong with that girl?

She has a boyfriend - who isn't Jake.

Sometimes I really question her life choices.

**

When you have a boyfriend that half the school masturbates to, it shocks me how she doesn't have more pictures of a half-naked Luke in her room.

Her vinyl collection was still a shrine to our deadbeat dad and her books were all math related. I spread her papers out to see if anything of interest was lurking there.

When mom and I left, we left her behind to stay with her new, perfect in-laws. Millie had no idea the hell Mr Dawson caused when dad became friends with him all those years ago. And now Mr D was so angry about his son's relationship that he was sticking his annoying head in our family's business again.

Mom needed a break and that includes a break from Millie. She's turned over to the dark side now.

But I don't blame her.

If Luke Dawson invited me to dance with him in flames, I'd wear my nicest dress.

The doorbell rang. I skipped down the stairs and walked to the front door.

"He... oh hi!" I perked up at the sight of Luke Dawson at our doorstep.

Speak of the hot devil himself.

My makeup was only half done, but I'm glad I just finished straightening my hair.

Luke was wearing black sweatpants and a grey hoodie that made his s*x-me-now blue eyes pop. He has the most incredible jawline that can cut like butter. And skin so smooth I bet if felt like marble.

"Is Millie home?" he asked.

This boy has been an idol of our senior class and I still don't get why he's always looking for my nerdy oddball of a little sister. What do they see in each other? What happened in that summer camp – did she slip something into his pre-workouts?

"Oh, you just missed her," I pouted in fake disappointment. I then spent a split-second deliberating whether I should make things worse for my little sister.

More like a nano-second.

"She went with your half-brother," I added helpfully, "They got into her car and drove off together. Somewhere private I'm sure."

Luke frowned and his beautiful dark eyebrows folded down. "She's with Jake?"

I pretended to be confused, "Like romantically or?"

He gave me a hard, sexy look and I realized that the guy can't take a harmless joke. Well I guess when you're gifted with such good looks, you lack some other features to balance out the mix.

He was already walking away, and I was happy for the great view it gave me of his ass in those black sweatpants.

**

~Millie's POV~

At the red light, I texted Luke. How we left things off last night made me feel like going on a trip with his brother wasn't a good idea.

But Jake didn't have anyone else to go to. And this was important.

"I'm nervous about tonight," he admitted, staring out the window, "I wrote the song overnight and I'm not sure it's the best one to share. I don't think it'll change the label's mind though."

"You know what I'm going to ask," I said, putting my phone down as I started to drive again, "Did you use the incredible lyrics I sent you?"

"You'll have to wait and see," he replied.

I smiled. It felt good to get out of my head space. Jake was not involved in any of this mess. He had his own to deal with and it sounds like he's working his way out of it.

"I think it's a left here," he said, staring down at google maps on his phone, "And then a left again directly after."

I followed his instructions as he led us further into Alpine. I took the wrong turn and, after a few roundabouts, made it back to the right area.

"Bring everything with you," Jake told me as we got out of my car, "And be careful with your valuables, especially your phone."

I zipped my jacket up and slipped my keys and phone into the pockets. We locked the car and walked onto the gravel lining the pavement under the apartment complex.

"Thanks for coming. I wouldn't have been able to do this without you."

"Without my car you mean," I joked as we walked towards a building.

We were not far from the playground I had been to last time I came to Alpine. I could barely make out the basketball court in the distance.

I stared up at the tall concrete building overhead and the block of apartments that every inhabitant had made their own. There was laundry on a lot of the balconies and some nice flowerpots.

Jake led the way, taking the stairs. I watched him easily run up and realized that it must be a family thing. I have never seen Jake work out, but he's athletic. Or maybe I'm just... not.

"J- jake," I wheezed, calling out to him.

He stopped his easy run up and looked down at me, a couple flights below.

"You're going to need to slow down there," I said, leaning heavily on the rails to drag myself up.

I tried keeping up, but who was I kidding?

"Do you want me to carry you?" he offered, walking down a couple steps.

"No!" I immediately reacted, before trying to soften the decline, "No, thanks."

We were here on a mission and not to do anything that would make Luke uncomfortable.

"Fine," Jake answered, "I just hope it'll still be here by the time you arrive."

After one or two breaks, I finally arrived. We walked alongside each other, with apartment doors lined our right-hand side and a concrete balcony on our left.

The walls were so thin that we could hear the sounds of TV or conversations taking place in the apartments we passed. Finally, we stopped at one and Jake knocked on it.

I stood behind him and peered out over the concrete balcony. A group of kids on bikes were hanging out downstairs and, further away, an old man was exercising in a tracksuit.

I heard Jake talk to someone. As I turned around, I noticed an extremely good-looking couple step off the staircase and onto our level. The guy was tall and had a muscular build. He was wearing jeans and a zip up jersey; one hand carrying a plastic bag of groceries.

And I recognized him immediately. Christopher Hayes.

He was walking beside a girl who he was talking to in soft tones. She was tall as well with an olive green shirt, black jeans and a black jacket. She walked past and our eyes caught. A look of realization came across her face and, as they walked past, she turned her head round, her brown hair flowing back.

What was Lara doing here?

I rubbed my eyes like it was a dream. Last time I saw her, she was getting on a yacht in Dubai. Now she was here with Chris Hayes.

What was going on?

**

~Luke's POV~

"I gave you the information for a f*cking reason. Come back with a name or don't come back at all," I spoke loudly into the phone, in case he had trouble hearing me the first time.

I hung up and chucked my phone onto the couch. If Millie wasn't calling me back, what do I need this phone for anyway?

I've never trusted watermelon head and now she's off the radar with him.

F*cking assh*le.

My last text to him conveyed my sentiment exactly.

"Come back with a name or don't come back at all?" Austin repeated my last words, "Don't you feel like that's a bit dramatic, Luke? The poor boy goes to our high school. He'll run into you sometime."

"Don't play, Austin. We are so close to solving this and I am not taking any slack."

"Because of what Julia said? Have you told Millie about any of this?"

"I would've," I said, sitting down at a chair next to Austin, "But we got distracted yesterday."

I let Austin interpret that how he wanted to. I'll tell Millie as soon as I see her.

We've gone through some very rocky times recently and I don't know what to think about it anymore. Our relationship had me questioning my own identity and it was giving me a serious mind f*ck.

I've never talked about my feelings as much as I have with her. And I don't love it. It's overthinking.

"I was going to tell her today, but Jake decided to take her on a field trip." He better not be leading her into his own mess.

I can't remember the last time I've been angry for so long. Frustrated. I want to end this drama so we can move on. And I'm close. 

I can basically smell that weak, sick blackmailer who's too afraid to show his face. I'll smoke him out.

And what happens after that? So many arguments, so many actions revolved around the blackmailer. Where do we stand when the dust settles?

"What if Millie is the blackmailer?" Austin asked, inhaling the end of his joint.

I gave him a look. He's high.

Austin exhaled, blowing out smoke, "Have you asked her? I mean, she put up all those posters of herself, which I still don't understand, so maybe-"

"When you sober up, we'll talk about it."

"Ok, we'll talk about it," he nodded repeatedly, "We'll talk, but do you two talk? You're spiralling, man."

I didn't want him to analyze me. "I'm just trying to help her. No one helps her. I've never seen someone more alone."

"You sure you don't have it twisted?" Austin asked and I watched the red tip of the blunt light up again, "I think she's been helping you. You were lost long before her."

A/N: We are getting near THE END of PNM!!  Somewhere between 5 to 10 chapters left, which is craazy to think. Ready for some loose ends to tie up?

I'll keep the countdowns on Instagram for when the new chapters come out (@natalieinacorner). There won't be many left! 

Please vote if you liked the chapter! 

See ya! <3