Caroline made it downstairs to see tons of people everywhere. The Lodge was packed. The sitting room had a few unrecognizable people, as did the lounge. There was people in the hot tubs. The sun had set so the patio was all lit up brilliantly with heat lamps. She decided to try her luck downstairs.

            The rec room was alive and the air electrifying. Everyone was playing games and dancing and partying. Caroline scanned the room for Shayna and spotted her with some of the boys. She was with Harry and Niall. Caroline relaxed when she realized that Liam was nowhere in sight. A part of her hoped he didn’t come, but another part of her hoped he did, and she felt a pang of guilt in her stomach. She shook it off and made her way towards them.

            They were at the bar and Carolines first thought is that she is pretty sure Niall and Harry are not old enough to drink yet. But she just laughed. Does it really matter? Harry and Shayna are laughing uncontrollably, his arm around her shoulders and an alcoholic drink in each of their hands. Niall is talking a mile a minute, probably the reason for their laughs. He was probably doing different accents as he told them jokes. Harry spotted Caroline and raised his arms in the air and ran to her, hugging her to him.

            “Caro!!! It’s great to see you! I’m so glad you and Shayna came, it’s been far too long!”

            Caroline smiled, flattered, but uncomfortable with the attention. She shouldn’t be, these boys were her friends. Maybe not the kind you see every day and hang out with all the time, but yes, they were friends. Harry put his arm around her and held his phone up above their heads, a huge goofy smile on his face and a confused one on Caroline’s.

            “You’re my best friend Caro! I’m putting that on instagram!”

            And with that he ran back over to Shayna and they began joking and laughing again. Niall came to her next, the sweetest boyish smile plastered on his face. He grabbed her by her shoulders and gave her a peck on the lips. “Great seeing you love!! Now lets have ourselves a good time, yeah?” In his hyperness he rushed back over to Harry and Shayna.

            Caroline laughed. She felt good and warm. She knew that these boys meant a lot to her, even if she never sees them. She realized she is glad that after the huge absence of them in her life that she is really happy to be with them again. Even if it’s for a short while.  Then Liam popped into her head and she got that guilty feeling again. Guilty because she had a man at home and she shouldn’t care about seeing another. But also guilty for the way she left him a year ago. Alone on that car. Then she started to feel an emptiness she couldn’t explain. The crowd started to overwhelm her and she decided that she wants to go outside.

            The air is absolutely bone chilling. She got goose bumps reaching down to her bone marrow. She could feel her ribs and teeth rattling with her shivers. But the sky was so beautiful. She felt like she had never seen so many stars before.  She walked farther out into the snow, into the dark loneliness of winter. She ignored her chattering and shivering and looked up at the sky, something that always comforted her. She tried to make sense of her feelings out in the dark, all alone in the cold. But she could not. All she knew is that her heart ached, and she felt disloyal. After being outside so long she couldn’t take the cold anymore and began to head inside. It may be early, but Caroline thought it was time for bed.

            The next morning Caroline woke up startled. She forgot where she was and her heart pounded out of her chest like a bird trying to escape it’s cage until she finally remembered. She was in Colorado, on some young celeb retreat. She had forgotten when she fell asleep, but her sleep had been solid and uninterrupted.

            The sun shone in the sliding glass doors and warmed her face. She stretched her arms and legs and threw the luxurious feather filled blankets off of her. She got out of bed and went right to the Keurig to make some coffee, turning to ask Shayna if she would like a cup. But Shayna wasn’t there. Her bed was neat and undisturbed.

            Caroline started the coffee maker and while waiting for her cup to be ready she sent a text to Shayna. She knew her friend was alright, she just wanted to know where she was. Maybe she had been lucky last night. Maybe part of her dreams had come true. Caroline grabbed her coffee cup and went back to her bed. She sat on the edge sipping liquid energy and hoping Shayna text her back soon.

            Shayna opened her eyes to the sound of her phone going off. She had a text message. She looked at the phone and saw it was Caroline. Eh it’s ten in the morning, I’ll get back to her later.

            Shayna curled up under the feather soft blankets and smiled, looking to her right. The blankets only covered him from his lower back to his feet. His back was smooth as butter and arched in just the right way. The brown curls of his hair were in disarray from sleeping on them, but also from the fun from the night before. His body moved lightly with the shallowness of his sleeping breaths.

            She couldn’t wipe the smile off her face. She had totally forgotten that she had a boyfriend back home. But she wasn’t home. She was in another world. A world with endless possibilities and were dreams do come true. She gently moved closer to his body, pressing her warm naked skin against his back. She nuzzled his soft hair with her face. He didn’t even stir, and she fell back to sleep.

            When Caroline finally realized that her friend wasn’t going to text her back yet, she decided she would to go down to the Lounge. At ten in the morning it would probably be empty, everyone still sleeping from the wild night before. That’s why she didn’t care too much about getting dressed.

            She threw on a pair of plaid baggy PJ pants, a black oversized sweater, and her gray slippers that looked like wool socks. She didn’t care if anyone saw her in PJ’s. She was comfortable, and she highly doubted anyone was awake anyway.

            She was right, the Lounge was empty. She sat down to relax and then realized that she was still really tired, so she laid down and curled up on the sofa, the warmth from the fire her blanket.

            Liam walked into the Lounge, and there she was. The woman he never forgot. The woman that haunted his memories and damn near broke his heart a year ago. She was curled up on the sofa, peacefully and silently napping. In that moment he wanted to sit next to her and push her hair from her face and just soak in the relaxed expression she made. The silent happiness she knew only in her sleep. But he didn’t touch her.

            He took out his cellphone, wanting to take a picture so that he could preserve this moment for as long as he wished. So that when he thought about her he could look at it and smile, seeing her peaceful, happy, and beautiful. But he knew that if his girlfriend found the picture in his phone, it would start a lot of trouble, and he didn’t want that. He did love his girlfriend. He also knew that Caroline would be mad about the picture, mainly because she hates pictures and because her belly was poking out of her sweater. He didn’t care about her belly poking out. He loved this woman too. But he didn’t take the picture. Instead he walked down the hall to the kitchenette.

            Caroline awoke with a yawn, and a smile. The Lounge sofa was incredibly comfortable, and the warmth of the fire better than any luxury blanket. She sat up and didn’t immediately realize she was not alone, but when she did realize it, she froze in place.

            Liam was seated on the other sofa, and he was looking at her with a smile, and holding out a cup of hot liquid in her direction. She hesitated at first, but then she grabbed it. Holding it up to her nose she recognized it as Earl Grey tea with honey. Her favorite. She closed her eyes and savored the moment.

            Liam smiled as he watched her. He didn’t understand his attraction to this older woman. It left him confused. But he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t help but notice how cute she looked curled up in winter Pj’s on that sofa. Or how beautiful she looked when she let the smell of the tea embrace her senses. He was drawn to her in a primal way, and he couldn’t get her out of his head. His gut told him that she must feel the same way, at least a little bit, otherwise she wouldn’t have ran off the way she did that night a year ago.

            Caroline finally looked at Liam. Their eyes locked in a romantic dance. Her cheeks turned the color of pink rose buds, and he smiled the way a young school boy does.

“I think we should talk” Liam finally said.

“What do you mean?” Caroline responded, clearing her throat. But she knew exactly what he meant.

“Caro, I can’t get you out of my head. I know it’s wrong, we established this, but it doesn’t erase it. I have a girlfriend, and I love her. But, dammit Caroline, I love you too.”

“Liam. I. Fine, alright. I’m engaged to a man I love with all my heart. But the way I feel about you, I can’t….I can’t deny it. Love, yes. Love is what it is.”

“Why do we have to fight it Caro? Why?”

“It’s not right. We walk different paths. We have different directions in life. You have yours and I have mine. We can’t fight that.”

“I can’t love someone the way I love you. I don’t know why.”

“You barely know me. I barely know you. Liam, shit.”

“None of that matters. I honestly believe that.”

“This isn’t right and you know it. You KNOW it. Just like I do. We need to let this go. Let it go away.”

“It won’t just go away.”

“I know. But….it has to. I’m sorry.”

            Caroline stood up from the sofa, putting the tea on the table. She used the back of her hand to wipe tears from her eyes. She tried to calm the pounding in her heart and turning of her stomach. What kind of situation was this? This doesn’t happen in real life. This is a 15 year old girl’s fantasy, not the reality of 27 year old woman. She looked at Liam sitting on the sofa, tears brimming behind his eyes begging for escape. Caroline bit her lip and turned to walk away.

“I love you Caroline.” Liam whispered, his voice trembling.

            She turned back to him again, her eyes filled with pain and guilt that nothing could ever make go away. She couldn’t speak, but she mouthed the words back to him. She silently mouthed “I love you too”, and then she ran back upstairs to her room.