***

Tay.

"Tay, can we talk?"

I languidly looked at Namtan who was fiddling with her fingers. Her voice was low as she tried not to look me in the eye. After all, it was our first time talking again right after the incident with New.

"New's waiting for me, Namtan."

My cold response made her look straight at me.

"This will be quick, Tay, I promise."

I heaved a deep sigh as glanced at New who was talking to my relatives. It was a good thing he easily fit in with them, just like a puzzle piece and I couldn't be happier that my relatives seem to be fond of him.

Well, he's adorable. That's a fact.

"Fine. But don't expect me to stay longer than five minutes."

She led me to the back part of the garden, a little bit far from the visitors and a bit dim, a total opposite of the bright lights illuminating the center part of the garden.

"Tay, I, I know I did something wrong before but please can you not treat me like this."

"Namtan, you already know way back before that I don't have any feelings for you. I only see you as a friend, a sister."

"I know. But do you have to go this far just to prove that you don't like me? I mean, why him?"

"Why not?"

"Tay! He's a guy! You're not supposed to like him!"

Her response might have struck a nerve as I couldn't help but raise my voice at her despite my internal agreement with myself to remain as placid as possible.

"Then who am I supposed to like then? You? Namtan, I've been clear since high school about my identity. As a matter of fact, you are the first one to know."

"But I thought you were just confused. I thought you were just experimenting. I saw you flirt with girls back in the US, Tay. I saw it with my own two eyes. I thought you were already fine. You can still change, Tay. You can still go back to normal!"

"So you think I'm not normal? You think I'm sick?! You think I'm sick because I like New?"

"No, I, I, that's not what I mean, Tay. What I mea—"

"No. You don't have to explain. You just said it yourself. Tss. Just what a friend you are, Namtan."

I immediately turned on my heels and left her all confused on what to say next. She tried calling out my name but I didn't look back, not after what she just said. She already ruined me once and I forgive her for that but it's an entirely different thing when New is involved.

I took several deep breaths and tried to straighten the creases on my forehead before approaching New who was still happily chitchatting with my relatives and for some reason, I felt fine.

"Tay, are you okay?"

I gave New a timid smile as I held his cheek and gave it a gentle squeeze. My action earned some giggles from my relatives and that was when I remembered we were not alone.

"You're really out there flaunting your boyfriend, huh?" my cousin, Luke scoffed as he tapped my back.

"Tss. Just get yourself your own then."

"Nah, I'm not built for shitty relationships. I'd rather be a bee in the garden."

"It's because you don't settle with one."

"I'm not as patient as you are, okay. A two-day relationship is already too long for me."

"Well I'm sincerely praying for the day you meet your match then. Let's just see how much of lovesick fool you will be."

"Tss. Then be ready to pray your entire life."

"Okay, okay, stop that, you two. Tay, we gotta go. Your Uncle John still has to catch a flight tomorrow morning for a business conference," my Aunt Maggie chided as she lightly pinched Luke on the side. "New, sweetie, thank you for accepting my nephew. I know he can be a jerk sometimes but I know he's gonna cave in to you."

"Aunt Magggiie. You're giving him ideas," I groaned in protest but Aunt Maggie just rolled her eyes at me.

"Why? Am I wrong, my dear nephew?"

I glanced at New who was biting his laughter down. See? He knows he's got the upper hand in this relationship.

"Tss. You really do know I'd do anything for you, huh?" I chuckled as I pulled him into a side hug.

"Okay, Aunt. Please be safe then."

"Goodbye, lovebirds."

I attempted to kick Luke on the shin but he was quick to avoid and just stuck his tongue out. Tss.

***

I promise to love you with a love that's true
To hold no one in my entire life but only you
To always kiss your tears and problems away

"Jeez. Why does this sound like a wedding vow?"

I giggled as the love of my life folded the paper and placed it back neatly inside the album before getting another one.

He is currently sitting on the floor with the photo album in front of him. I wasn't supposed to let him go through my entire collection as I was a bit ashamed of what I wrote as a hopeless lovesick boy but just what my aunt said, I caved in to New after a long heated discussion. He even threatened to burn my album if I didn't let him see it.

Hi. I saw you passing by my classroom window this morning. You look lovely as usual but today you look lovelier with your apple hair. I tried talking to you but I was too afraid I'd be a mess in front of you as I am sure that I wouldn't be able to talk without stuttering so I just kept the words I'd been wanting to tell you all to myself. I do hope I'll find the courage to talk to you one day.

"Do you think we could have been friends if I talked to you way back in high school?" I queried as I sat down beside him.

"Maybe? I was not quite particular with my friends back then and if we have things we could agree on, then we'd perfectly get along."

"But you know what, I was thankful that we didn't become friends back then."

"Why?"

"Because I wouldn't have waited for you for years. And for me, it was God's way of telling me that if you wait patiently, you'll get what your heart really desires."

"Tss. You're such a smooth talker, huh. Did you prepare all of that?"

"No. Come here."

He scooted closer to me and I immediately grabbed him into a side hug, his head leaning on my chest as he started fondling with my fingers.

"Do you think we'll really end up together?" he asked.

"Why? Do you want to?"

"Well, of course. I wouldn't say yes to you if I don't want it, right?"

"Don't worry, love. I promise we'll end up together. I will make it happen. I will definitely make it happen."

***

"So what's your plan?" I glanced at Off who was shuffling through a bunch of papers in his hand.

Right after coming back from my parents' house this morning, I immediately went to his unit to ask him for an advice.

"I don't know. I'm afraid he's gonna get mad at me."

"Of course he will. Who wouldn't be? You even shagged him again yet you still haven't told him the truth."

I grabbed the nearby pillow and threw it to his direction with all my might, directly hitting him on the head as he was too focused on the documents he was reading.

"Ouch! What was that for?!"

"I didn't shag him, okay?"

" What do you call it then other than shagging, huh?"

"Lo-love, making love! I'm not like you who treat sex as a meal."

"Tss. At least I'm not keeping secrets from my partner unlike someone."

I frowned as he hit a sore spot.

"Ugh! Why did I bother telling you everything anyway??"

"Because you'll be needing my help."

We stayed silent for a moment. Only the sound of the papers Off was shuffling could be heard in his unit as I tried to think of ways to tell New the truth.

"Should I arrange a date? You know a candlelit dinner. Or another trip together with him? Or should I buy him lots of flowers spelled as I'm Sorry while I sing him his favorite song? Or what if I bri—"

"Just tell him the truth and that you're sorry, okay? No need for anything fancy. Just be sincere."

I stared at Off who seemed to have snapped at me basing on his arched brow.

"Do you think it will work? Wouldn't he be mad at me if he knows that I'm sincere?"

"Yah, you can't expect him to forgive you that instant. He's got feelings after all. But you can't hide the truth from him forever. It will haunt you and your relationship. Believe me, you better tell him the truth or have your secret crumble your relationship down."

***

I came back to New deeply sleeping on my sofa. I wasn't expecting him to be waiting for me in my unit as he said that he'd be meeting with Gun.

Indeed, I came home to him.

I gently removed the stray hair from his face so I wouldn't wake him up but despite my utmost effort to be gentle as possible he still stirred in his sleep, his lashes fluttering before he finally opened his eyes.

"You're here?"

"Hi love, why are you sleeping here?"

"I was waiting for you. Did you eat? I cooked some food earlier."

I slowly shook my head.

"I'm hungry actually."

"Wait, I'm just gonna reheat the food."

He attempted to get up but I pushed him back before squishing myself beside him. 

"Hey, we won't fit," he chuckled as I tried not to fall. Half of his body is already on top of me as we squeezed in into such narrow space.

"Let's stay like this for a while."

I snuggled him closer while he wrapped his arm around my waist, probably to stop me from falling.

"I missed you."

"We were just together this morning, Tay."

"Still, I missed you."

"How was your visit to Off?"

"Hmm. It was just fine. I just asked him something. How about yours with Gun?"

"Tss. That guy didn't stop until he got what he needed. He literally just interviewed me the entire time."

I didn't say a thing and just snuggled my face on the nook of his neck, my most comfortable place.

"Babe."

"Hmm?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat as I contemplated if I should drop the question that had been running in my mind ever since I left Off's unit.

"What if I did something wrong? Will you hate me?"

"Well, depends on what you did. Why? Did you do something?"

"N-nah. I'm just asking."

"I'll probably be able to forgive you for anything, Tay, except for one thing."

"And what is that?"

"Cheating. I'll definitely leave you if you ever cheat on me."

"Tss. Who would even cheat on you? I've waited so long for you, babe. I wouldn't want anybody else."

"Tss. Then you better be true to your words. Come on. Let's eat. You said you're hungry."

"Nah, I don't want to."

"You just said you're hungry. Come on, let me go, Tay," he protested as he tried squirming his way out my hug but the days I spent in the gym paid off as  he was no match to my strength.

"Yeah, I'm hungry. But not for food."

He let out a loud gasp as I gave his ear a lick.

"Jeez, Tay! What are you doing??"

"I'm hungry for you," I whispered before going in for his lips.

"Taaay, we're on the sofa. We're gonna fall off!" he groaned between our kisses but I just acted like I didn't hear a single thing as I hovered on top of him and started kissing his neck.

"Taaay, are we seriously doing it here??"

"I can do it anywhere with you, babe," I grinned before kissing him again on the lips. 

I was in the midst of marking him again when the front door rang.

"Tay, someone is at the door."

"Just don't mind it. Someone might be playing with doorbell," I muttered before going attacking his lips again.

But the ringing didn't stop.

"Come on, baaabe. It might be important. Just open the door."

I let out a frustrated sigh and mentally cursed at whoever was at the door. 

"Ugh, I'm seriously killing whoever that is."

"Tss. Just open it. We have the time together later," he chuckled as he fixed my hair before fixing himself. "Go."

With heavy footsteps I headed to the door ready to lash out at the intruder. 

The creases on my forehead got even deeper as I stood in front of the person I didn't want to see and talk to.

"Tay, can I talk to you, please?"

It was Namtan.

***