Even with stumbled steps, I was so numb that I had no idea how I got back into my room. Searing hot water from the shower washed away the blood sticking to my body but not the stains in my mind.

The shower walls blurred as I sank down, sitting until the water turned ice-cold. Needle-like pricks chilled my skin, raising goosebumps on my arms and legs but I ignored them. Violent sobs racked my spine, drying my mouth, and cramping my stomach.

Elena's knock on my door and hand shutting off the shower, drew my attention up. Tears stained with tears and congestion running into my mouth, she wiped my face with a towel, then wrapped it around me.

"Zara..." She lifted me up, guiding me to bed. "Are you all right?"

"No." I sank down, falling into my pillow.

My hands shook as I lifted them into view. I rinsed away the blood stains on my body, but not the guilt.

Idris' blood. Arlo's blood. I'm so embarrassed, so ashamed. So... monstrous.

How could I have been so reckless?

A sob barked out of me, striking hot pain through my strained vocal chords.

"Zara, it's okay. It wasn't you." Her voice was soft with empathy, like the sigh she released. The bed shifted under me as she sat down.

"But Lumi's a part of me," I rasped out, tears rolling over my cheeks and dotting my pillow.

What if Lumi's a reflection of me? Am I that violent?

For two hours since the incident, Lumi had been silent. She receded back into the comforts the dark shadows of my mind offered her. I sensed her cowering presence if I searched hard enough, but she masked her emotions from me. I hoped that she felt similar to the gut-wrenching guilt that coursed through my body, escaping through endless rounds of tears.

"She sensed that you were scared and wanted to protect you." Elena's fingers rubbed small circles on my back. "That's her werewolf instinct."

"She really hurt them." I closed my eyes, squeezing out more tears. One of them fell into my pillow, the other slid across my nose before joining the others.

Pressing my cheek into the damp cotton, my sentences slurred into phrases as more tears followed. "Idris and Arlo have been nothing but kind helping me. I need to t-tell... s-s-sorry. Idris is sweet... Arlo's family... Wuh-wish I could -"

"I'm sure they understand," she assured me. "But you're in quarantine until Alpha Faelen decides what to do with you."

"What?" I opened my eyes and rolled back to see her face.

"I assume you'll be punished." Her voice dropped with her eyes. "Silver whip lashing is the most common form but as Alpha, it's Faelon's decision."

At those words, a forceful knock thumped on the door. I sat up, swung my legs over the bed, and pressed my bare feet into the stone floor. My fingers trembling, my hand paused over the door handle and I caught my lower lip in my teeth.

Elena stood next to me, her hands at her sides. I swept the tears out of my eyes and smoothed the wrinkles in my shirt.

"Come in." The words croaked out of my dry throat, parting my dry lips and yanking the door open.

With heavy steps, Alpha Faelen entered the room, with three security guards behind him. His eyes were hard as stone as they met mine in passing. My eyes widened as they caught the glint of silver on a chain in one guard's hands.

They're going to whip me with a chain?

The thought clenched my heart around itself. But, then again, I assaulted two warriors of his pack.

I deserve it.

"Miss Zara... You have injured two of my warriors." Faelon wasted no time, his dark eyes glaring at me. His voice was cold as ice as he spoke down at me, "You lost control, allowed your wolf to be reckless, and I regret to inform you that you must be punished."

"I'm so sorry," I whispered as my head bowed, swallowing the bile that rose up my throat.

His next words hung over me heavily. "You will be confined to the holding cells for three days, then perform kitchen duties for the following week."

As my eyes stared down at the floor, I blinked at his words.

They're not going to whip me? Or will they torture me in the cell?

"Is that all?" My eyes lifted to him, drawing up his black shirt, sharp jaw dotted with gray stubble, and age lines in his cheeks.

His mouth was pressed into a firm line and his brow furrowed. "Pretty fair for a first offense, but I can issue you a stronger punishment if you'd prefer."

"No, thank you... for your mercy." I bowed my head down, drooping my shoulders.

He nodded firmly, mindlinked the guards, and left the room as they approached me. I inhaled and my spine bristled as the silver chains entangled my wrists, biting hot pains into my skin.

After a few quiet breaths, I lowered my head in submission and followed them out.

Walking down the hallway, flanked by guard escorts, I felt empty. Any lingering emotional feelings that tormented from the inside out had subsided. All I felt was a weighted ache from Elena's eyes on me from behind.

The holding cells were located in the basement, if castles had basements. The Northern packhouses' cells were a level down off the kitchen. Down a winded, narrow staircase, it encompassed a cramped, dark, musty, and poorly lit space.

The low-ceiling, windowless room smelled of decay, dampness, and mildew. A row of holding cells with silver bars lined up next to each other, divided by another more silver bars. A metal bench mounted to the back wall of each cell.

With a cough and head tilt, the guard gestured to the closest cell. I walked in, where he clamped my silver chain onto a circle wall-mounted over the bench.

"Look who it is," a ragged male voice called out to me from the next over cell.

My eyes drifted in the direction of his voice, to a dark figure lurked in the shadows.

Creepy.

"New neighbor," he greeted me with a grunt. "Pretty one too."

Very creepy.

"Shut up, rogue." The guard reached into the nearby cell and pushed the figure back. 

Flopping back onto his bench, he chuckled.

Ignoring their exchange, I crawled onto and laid down on the metal bench. Fresh tears welled up in my eyes and I fought to contain them. For as much privacy as I was granted, I rolled onto my side, faced the wall, and curled inward. The coldness of the bench permeated into my skin as the circular and oval shapes of the stone wall blurred from my sight.

The holding cages' environment was stifling. The air was thick, and my cell neighbor's scent didn't help. Once the lights shut off and the door closed behind the guards, pitch blackness heightened my other senses. I laid there, listening to various sounds around me, including the slow, even breathing of my fellow prisoner.

I'm a prisoner.

While the holding cell room wasn't the version of prison I imagined, the confined space nonetheless served its purpose. I was alone, surrounded by nothing but my remorse.

The last sensation I felt, then ignored, before I forced myself into sleep was a tiny glimmer of Lumi. She reached out, sharing my remorse, which comforted me enough to help me until I relaxed into sleep.

After an undetermined amount of time, I thought my neighbor woke up.

"Hey," a voice whispered at me. "Zara. Wake up."

I rolled over onto my back and blinked my eyes into the darkness. Blurry shapes came into focus as I adjusted to the dark atmosphere. Pushing my hands into the metal bench, I sat up, frowning since the voice belonged to a shadowed figure standing in front of my cell.

Once my brain was functional and awake, I blinked her into recognition.

"Raina." I stood up and stepped closer before my chain yanked me back. I winced as the jerked movement caused my silver handcuffs to bite into my skin, searing them like a lash.

"Are you okay?" Her eyes traveled over my appearance like a visual inspection of whether or not I'd been subjected to some kind of mistreatment.

I wasn't sure how long I slept for, but with the exception of meals and bathroom breaks, I was left alone. After living in my father's house, solitary confinement didn't bother me. Isolation was much less of a punishment than the pit of guilt living in my stomach. It twisted until I felt nauseous enough that I dry heaved into my toilet.

Two of us were held in the cells. Both the rogue and I remained quiet since the three phrases he said when I first arrived.

He sure liked staring at me though. His unblinking gaze felt quite uncomfortable, so I shuffled myself sideways at an angle that provided him a view of the back of my head. Even then, his eyes on me crept goosebumps up the back of my neck, raising the fine hairs up.

"I'm fine, but, but -" My spine tensed, thinking about her warriors that I injured.

Wrenched with knotted tension, my shoulders lifted to my ears. I inhaled a sharp, deep breath and pushed it out as a ragged sigh. Even the muscles in my face twitched.

I held a burning desire to know, but my heart thumped hard as I asked, "Idris and Arlo?"

She pressed her lips into a firm line, studying my face with curiosity burning in her dark eyes. "They're a bit roughed up, bruised egos, but they'll be okay. Idris is already showing off his wounds for sympathy."

I exhaled the breath I held and softened my shoulders and face. My backside pressed down into the cold, metal and I blinked up where she stood. Unsure of why she'd visited me, I appreciated the concern.

And the company.

Lumi was darn near nonexistent. Whether she was ashamed or wary of me being angry at her, I wasn't sure. I was more disappointed in my lack of judgment but hadn't reached out to her.

"I'm so sorry, Raina," I repeated, bit my lip, and cast my eyes down at my silver chains. Tears blurred the stone floors my bare feet hovered over. "I fucked up, choked, got scared. I asked Lumi for help."

"She's quite tenacious, that one." Raina's smile only reached her voice. "I told you it would be hard to control her. But within the first three months of transformation, it's normal. That's why my father passed the light sentence. He feels..."

I glanced up at her hesitation. "He feels what?"

"...That this is more the result of your mismanaged upbringing."

My mouth dropped open and hands clenched the edge of the bench. Skittered beats pulsed in my veins and my eyes strained from how wide they pulled.

Raina was surprised when I told her how Lumi had been repressed, but now she gave the sense that her father knew relevant information that I didn't.

Maybe they know about my past?

If that were the case, then I needed to know what had been withheld from me, so my past didn't affect my future.

I must have worn a confused expression because she added, "Normally, we isolate new wolves the first three months after transformation. They're too unpredictable, obviously."

My mouth dropped open and hung there until my tongue dried. This information seemed vital to my current situation.

Why didn't anyone tell me?

My father knew this and had Beta Baron spying on me. I didn't have any proof of that theory, only a gut instinct.

What game is he playing?

"But..." Raina's firm voice cut through my thoughts. "You did control her eventually, that's what's important. You'll have internal battles against each other for the rest of your life, we all do, but..."

I keep my eyes low, staring at the gap between my pale thighs. The silver chain connecting my wrist cuffs dangled in between my legs, disappearing over the edge of the bench to the floor hook. "But what?"

"You're not as weak as I first judged you to be."

That's the nicest non-compliment Raina's ever given me.

While I appreciated her sentiments and candro, the words did little to improve my disposition. "Unfortunately, it was too late." I hung my head, ran my fingers over the top of my head, and squeezed some hair in a tight fist.

"But you did control her, it could've been a lot worse for Arlo." Stern as usual, her voice lacked the usual razor edge, "She'll come around, in time."

I inhaled another slow, deep breath. Two weeks ago, when we arrived here, felt like a previous lifetime. Prison setting and a cellmate trapped in a silent game of 'who needs a shower more?' aside, I never imagined this conversation between me and Raina.

Even knowing that Lucus was not my mate, I was grateful for the opportunity to meet and interact with Raina. Her knowledge about fighting and being a wolf were priceless.

And I had no idea that such a tough warrior could be such a softie inside... Even if she'd break my legs if I say that out loud.

Slowly, I dragged my heavy eyes up and met hers. "Thanks... for coming to see me. And for letting me know about Idris and Arlo. Please send them my best."

Even dark as a silhouette, I caught the smile in her voice, "No problem, Flower."

That night, I woke up with a jolt. A sharp pain thudded into my forehead as I banged it into the stone wall next to my bench.

Ouch.

I reached up and rubbed my throbbing forehead. While I kneaded the tender spot with the pads of my fingers, I wasn't sure why I woke up.

Nightmare? No.

I had no sense of time here, with no windows and the dim lighting. I looked around and exhaled when no one else was awake. The rogue laid still, one arm flung over the edge of his bench and the back of his hand rested on the floor.

Under his grubby, black T-shirt, his chest rose and fell with his breath. Greasy, matted brown hair covered his forehead, from the top-down view I saw of his head.

A glance around showed the guard near the door slept against the wall, snoring softly.

What is going on?

A warming sensation rushed into my entire face, from my forehead to chin. I rubbed my fingers higher and found sweat dotted my hairline. Hoping that I wasn't coming down with a cold or virus, my shoulders laid back down.

Even pressed against the cool metal bench, my body glowed with an internal heat. Waves of warmth washed down my shoulders, collecting dampness in my palms, and from my legs into the soles of my bare feet.

With a twist of my stomach, a stronger heat source pulsed within my pelvis. It settled between my legs, throbbing like its own heartbeat.

I needed me a few seconds to realize that I wasn't immersed in a feverish warmth, but a... sexual one.

Oh gawd.

My hands clamped over my flaming hot cheeks. Rolling over I dragged my eyes over to my cell neighbor.

Couldn't be... could it?

He was passed out cold, not even a flick of his fingers. And I'd been here at least twenty-four hours, sitting five feet apart with no other reaction.

So, in Lumi's words, not mate.

Lumi, want to help me out here?

She ignored me, returning the cold shoulder I gave her since we'd been here. The guards fed us three times a day and I ate three meals, so I knew it was day two. The lack of time movement felt like I'd been here a week.

You started it though, Lumi.

Her sudden interest in Shadow and his intoxicating pheromone smell added to my confusion now. Drawing a deep inhale, I caught a musty, stale smell of sweat and body odor.

Not him, so why am I so warm?

Waves of warmth flushed out from my chest and belly. The warmth spread, making my skin feel like I walked into a furnace. Another burning sensation started where the nape of my neck met my right shoulder.

Feeling distracted, I reached up and tried to rub the sensations off with my fingertips. The pressing massage into the heated area didn't help. A larger heat source built up in my chest. It spread through my breasts, filling them with sensitivity and itching my nipples against my bra.

Oh shit.

The warming sensation traveled from my chest down my stomach, collecting where my pelvic cramps had crippled me. A glowing sensation bloomed out, spreading into my mound between my legs.

What the heck is wrong with me?

Pressure building between my private area, tingling my outer skin against my underwear. I squeezed my thighs together tightly, as if that would stop the sensations. They increased, throbbing warmer pulses, giving me a burning desire to touch myself... Down there.

I'd never felt that.

Yet, here I was, laid out in a silver prison cell, next to a silent rogue prisoner, and felt flushed likeI was under heat stroke and aroused. Instead of indulging in my body's cravings, relief from the ache coiling inside me, I pressed my palms down into the metal bench and found my breaths had turned sharp, quick, and hot.

"If you're going to sit over there panting like a dog in heat," a gruff voice spoke up behind me. "Then at least let me watch."

"Oh gawd." My cheeks flushed hot and I clenched my stomach, sitting up. Crossing one leg over the other, I squeezed my inner thighs together tightly. The pressure coiled tighter, lifting my heavier breasts and arching my lower back.

In a strained voice, I snapped, "I am not in heat."

I knew he was right though. My mafia stories were very explicit and I was no stranger to what masturbation was, but hadn't done it myself.

Didn't have a reason to... Why now?

"Doesn't sound like it," he mused then shuffling sounds became louder as he approached.

Rolling over, I gasped when I saw his face. His eyes were sunken in, outlined with dark circles, and a shade of gray cast over his skin, making cheeks pale, but at some point he was very attractive. His brown hair was matted in various directions, his chiseled jaw was concealed by a rugged layer of facial hair, and his dark brown eyes bore at me through the silver cage bars.

"It is you," he whispered, narrowing his eyes. "Cassius' princess. How did you end up down here with a lowlife like me?"

"Training accident," I mumbled, my eyes fixated on him. "We were fighting and my wolf took it too far."

He can't